I know, I know...MIL questions!!! We're staying with my outlaws for a few weeks while we wait for our new home to be finished....we've lived with them before in similar situations, blah blah...had fights, set boundaries, etc. We all get along pretty well considering, but seriously-we've been here for less than a week and this stuff just irks me!
I put some witch hazel pads out by the toilet in the bathroom that we use and they disappeared because in typical fashion, my MIL came in and rearranged and suddenly decided it was her mission to be nosy and clean everything up and get into stuff. So, I figured I would just go retrieve them from her bathroom and get this....she's locking her door! (yet everything else in this house is pretty much community property and open, never seen this before!) Seriously, I am laughing at this, just laughing hysterically!
I am going to be the bigger person here and not say anything or make a stink, I'll just spend the $1.89 to get more, I guess her butt was in REALLY bad shape to have to steal them like that! But C'mon! I just keep encountering things like this with her and with other people in my life. Why are people SO petty? I've started a new chapter in my life recently to not give so much time to negative things or people and not waste my breath on mean things etc, but I just had to share this and see if anyone else has this kind of nonsense in their life too? Again, just shaking my head and laughing!
Wow...I guess I didn't explain myself well enough. I shouldn't have bothered posting anything. I was more just kind of laughing at the whole thing and looking for other similar kinds of stories of just plain stupidity between in laws. There's no way to have the space or time on here to describe the equally good and bad behavior of my MIL over the last 10 years. I am not some ungrateful aggressive brat! On the other hand, I grocery shop, cook dinner almost every night, clean up the mess from it, take out the trash, etc. I take it upon myself to go from taking care of just a husband and son to taking care of 2 more adults as well. I didn't make any assumptions, I've had these experiences with her countless times over the years and there's no reasoning through it because she doesn't work that way with her own kids or with me.
Lesson learned, keep your vent to yourself!
If that is all she is doing, it doesn't seem like much considering she has opened her home to you.
I'll trade you! My MIL is a real piece of work.
You're being a little passive yourself by not asking... personally I would say "Hey ___, I had a stack of witch hazel pads here yesterday. Do you know what happened to them?" and see what she says.
She has allowed you to live with her more than once to help you out... let this go and hope that you can do so for your kids some day!
How do you know she moved the pads just to get under your skin?
How do you know she is the one who locked the door?
How do you know she locked the door so you couldn't get your pads back?
I am with Victoria - I will trade you! Lol!
you're assigning all types of motives to this situation. You've made up your mind who did it and why. But you haven't asked any questions. I know theres more to it and you're just using that as an example. But, it's actually an example of how poor communication and assumptions can cause a wedge between people. take her to lunch. thank her for opening her home to you. ask how you can help out to earn your keep. the number one complaint I've seen from mils is that they give up thier space and peace and quiet to dils that are not grateful or helpful. SO, act helpful and grateful, even if you aren't. it will make your time there go so much more smoothyl.
sorry, just trying to help and offer some suggestions. sorry it wasnt what you wanted. people like that in my life? you bet. at work. i deal with some real jerks. they throw my leftovers away ...oh....sorry, was that yours. aaarrrggghhh. super annoying.
I get what you are saying.. just trying to make a post about other people and tried using an example and now you are getting advice about the pads.. which wasn't what your post was about, right? Isn't it about anyone else have these things happen to ya?
Sure, you vented, but you vented in a public forum and whether or not you asked for it you're going to get some opinions and advice on it. If you read through the responses you might actually find something helpful in there.
I find it amusing that you automatically assume that it's your MIL who passive-aggressively "took" your witch hazel pads. I also find it amusing that you find it passive-aggressive that she locked her own private bathroom. Maybe you missed the advice people have given in the past here to women who have opened their homes to their MIL's and been advised to put locks on the rooms that they don't want their guests to have access to for whatever reason... and that being the hostess ANY reason they have is appropriate.
My suggestion to you is that if she does this sort of thing often, and you "know" that it's her, then get yourselves a lock box for things like medication and toiletries which would be things you don't want your children having access to either. Keep the key in your pocket or on a chain around your neck at all times and keep the box in your bedroom. Take things out only when you need them instead of keeping them out and spread around your MIL's home.
As much as you need to vent, I would bet that your MIL needs to vent as well. Just something to think about. :-)
I guess I would just ask her about them.
:)
My husband's grand parents came to visit us when I was pregnant with our daughter. I asked them specifically to tell me what they like to eat. Their answer was "Whatever you make will be fine, Dear." (As long as it doesn't include mushrooms, shrimp, no raisins on oatmeal, is there dijon mustard in this chicken salad? etc etc., blah blah about 20 more stipulations) I still laugh about it today. I guess their plan was to just gripe about whatever I made behind my back. I can just hear them telling everyone back home that we tried to starve them to death by cooking things they couldn't possibly eat. All the while I never got the benefit of them actually telling me what they normally eat. They stayed longer than expected and I was trying to "nest" for the birth of my child. I plainly told my husband that if they were still here when the baby came that we were going to a hotel. People are crazy.
Anyone who posted negatively just doesn't have anyone in their life like your MIL! I TOTALLY get it! Just hang in there and keep laughing it off! Hopefully your husband is laughing with you! This will make for some funny reminising once your back in your own place!
Oh boy... don't open your life up on a public board & not expect comments. Really, c'mon now. I know, I know, god forbid someone on the outside gave their unbiased opinion, how dare they!
I have some questions for you - why didn't you just ask her where they were? Why are you assuming she "stole" them? Why would she need to nose around in your bathroom stuff or steal it? The truth is you have no idea unless you ask. Right now you are just jumping to conclusions & creating conspiracy theories. Either ask her where they are, or just let her know you'd prefer she told you when she's going to do touch/move/reorganize your things. A little communication goes a long way.
No offense, but it sounds like you may be being a little dramatic. I think that kind of thing goes with the territory of living with someone else, honestly. I tend to move things DH leaves out, just to put them out of sight/away, not because I'm interested in stealing with them or being nosy. He asks me where x item is & I tell him... no big deal.
I find it hilarious that you'd be that upset over something so trivial, especially when you haven't even communicated at all about it.
Your story made me laugh too. why can't people just leave stuff where it is?? unlesslike you said Maybe she realllllllly neededthem.haha I"m sure you are counting down the days until you can enjoy your new home.
I'll let all of you have my mom... I'll just keep my MIL and my EX MIL... and stepmom. *ironically the one's that are 'typically' the 'evil ones'*
I'd always heard how awesome mom's are [supposed to be] and how rotten stepmom's MIL's or Ex-inlaws are [supposed to be].
haha that's hilarious! My old roommate before I was married used to do stuff like that. We split our internet bill 50/50 under the condition that we shared her computer because I didn't have one and she couldn't afford to pay for internet by herself. So I dutifully paid half the bill and would use the computer that she kept in her room--then she got a new lock installed on her door and locked it every time she wasn't in it. I was the only other person living in that apartment so it was obviously put there for me. She flipped her lid when I told her I wasn't going to be splitting the bill with her anymore because I wasn't using the internet at all. We only lived together for a few months after that, and I came to find out later that she had a bad history of roommate troubles. People can be so petty :)
I chuckled to myself after reading this because I know of people who go through this too. I deal with more of "whatever you want" situations which drives me bonkers sometimes... I feel like I'm being set up, ya know? Anyway, I didn't bother to read other responses but wanted to let you know that I TOTALLY got what you were venting about... small and petty, something you will laugh about for years :D It's okay to vent, don't feel like you can't here. People read in the tone they think you are sharing it in, which is not always the way you intended.
