Is This Strange to Do.

I doubt that you've done any serious harm, but I wouldn't keep indulging these little whims. It's perfectly appropriate to tell her bras are for holding up big breasts, and she'll wear a bra after her breasts start growing.

I see it as much an "instant gratification" issue as trying to grow up too fast.

What would I do in that situation if I had a 4 yo girl? Probably chuckled but I don't think training bras are for 4 year old girls. Just my opinion.

I see no harm in it. She's not trying to be a woman, she wants to be like mommy - there's a difference. I think it's cute. She'll probably forget about them in a few weeks or start putting them on her stuffed animals (which would be really funny! :)

No offense to you, but I think 4 is way too young to go out and buy a pack of bras for her. This isn't the same as playing dress up. Whether you realize it or not, this is conditioning her to want to dress like an adult. Clothing industry and marketers know that, and they're always pushing the envelope with stuff like this. Even bras with no padding etc.

By you allowing this, you are in effect showing her what is and isn't appropriate dress for everyday. You just validated that t-shirts aren't enough anymore. A 3 pack of bras (whether they look racy or not) is real clothes not a costume. I agree with your friend, you're opening a kettle of fish. She is going to want more, like make up, sexy clothes, and then some.

The problem now is there is a toddler version of all of these things and more. How do you plan to say no, now that you said it is okay to wear a bra? Just last week Abercrombie and Fitch launched a new line of padded bras for kids as young as 7 who want "something for their bxxxies too", and all heck broke loose in the media and among angry parents nationwide. See: http://abcnews.go.com/US/abercrombie-fitch-padded-bikini-...

The whole problem with stuff like this is it sexualizes kids before they're ready or even get what it's all about. You ARE conditioning your child to make a sexual object of themselves for approval and acceptance, before they're psychologically mature.

Not to mention, there are millions of pervs out there who thrive off of seeing kids with their psuedo-sex-wear walking down the street.

It's messed up and out of control. Kids no longer have a chance to just be kids because so many adults are in a rush to have them grow up so they don't have to be responsible for them, or so they can have a snotty little "mini-me" running around. Sure it's all cute until one day they tell YOU to shut up, and won't respect you because they're 10 going on 30.

Think very carefully about what you think is harmless fun and cute. There will be consequences whether you realize it now or not.

Everyone knows that Norman Rockwell painting of the boy putting on his father's shaving cream...

Same thing.

Better her own than yours. The silhouette line will be cleaner for starters. :)

I have four young girls. I know all about the girl stuff! oldest is only 7, so no training bra JUST YET...

I would not have gotten the bra pack- no matter how plain it was. Here are my reasons:

That's an item that is special to a girl to buy it when she needs it, this purchase lessens the "first bra" experience a bit.

I also am very used to saying "no" like, a BILLION times when I'm in a store with my girls. They want everything, so I wouldn't have gotten the bras for that reason as well. Just plain, if they don't need it or it isn't a special occasion, they don't get it.

I would plain come right out and say: You don't need one yet. You'll need one when you are about 9 or 10 or so. I'd use it as a time to explain this.

There was a time where my oldest wanted one when she was about 5. I told her that they are used to support breasts and that she doesn't have them yet, so she won't be getting a bra yet. simple as that.

A bra is not in the "dress-up for fun category" as far as I'm concerned. I wouldn't be mad if they did, but I don't let my daughters play with my own undergarments because they are personal items- hence the name "intimates"

I don't think purchasing the bras was awful by any means, just something I wouldn't do.

It's really no different then a little girl wanting to dress up in play high heels or play in make up. I see it as she wants to be like her mommy. Now if a 4 year old wanted a push up bra to put her tube socks in thats a little different but training bras... no harm done.

Nope. I wouldn't have. I think 4 years old is WAY too young to wear a bra or even practice--even if she does want to be like mommy. There are other ways that you can let her imitate you. At 4, I agree with your friend that she would want to get into much older things than she is prepared for.

M

When my daughter wants to do or have inappropriate aged things just because I do - I remind her that she's not yet a woman (or Mommy) and she has a long time to wait - but when she does, we can do that or buy that then.

Usually that is a good enough thing to say, and she doesn't harp on things I say no about.

Yes its strange, and No I would not do this for a 4 year old. Validation? No

If she wants to be "like mommy", let her play dress up at home.

Blessings....

I wouldn't. It's not like I think you damaged her for life or anything. I just think that it is a waste of money. I do think it sends the wrong message a bit, and it makes the real thing, shopping with mom for your first bra, a little less special.

Didn't any of you all ever have underoos? I don't see any difference. I'm pretty sure these aren't even "training" bras, just something else to wear underneath clothes. Personally, I don't grasp the concept of undershirts. In the end, it's just more laundry :)

I'm with you. Kids that young just want to be like their parents. When I was little I just wanted to be like my daddy.

I swore that I was never going to wear a bra, or shave anything but my face (I was really young. Lol), or get pregnant, or get married to a boy... Or basically do anything that a girl does. I even having a picture of me wearing boxers that my mom bought me, because I wanted to be 'Just like daddy'.

Yet here I am, wearing a bra and shaving. I have a son, and plan to get married to my boyfriend. Though I still wear those boy short panties, which are the sexier version of boxers. Lol.

People over react about the smallest things and seem to take everything to the next level. You're daughter will be fine, and have fun acting just like mommy. Enjoy it because when they are older the thought of being like their mom scares the hell out of them! Lol

ah, yeah your friend is a little too worried about it. people are far too sensitive these days.

It's fine.

(p.s. - I assume it's one of those flat tank-like bras, not anything padded that actually gives her bumps. Maybe you should clarify this.)

no not strange..your friend is dramatic..and sounds a little repressed if u ask me..i agree ..not like you bought her a thong or something hoochie..she just wanted to be like you..i think it was more of a cute bonding moment..so if u take her to get a mani/pedi with you is your friend going to scold u again? ugh!

Key difference for me is that you bought her her own bras. I wouldn't buy a child this young her own bras, make up or high heels. If they want to mess around with mine at some point with me --fine. Its about ownership because when you buy them their own they believe they are old enough for it--if it is still mommy's they understand it is for grownups IMO. Not a huge deal just how I see it.

Nope, would not do it/did not do it. My 7 year said she needs one and I tell her she will get one when she needs it and at this time she does not need it. Neither does my 9 year old (yet) but within the year or so, we might be looking at getting a sports bra, and hopefully there's some pretty ones out there (haven't even looked yet). At 4 I probably would have taken her to get some pretty panties instead.

I would not have done it. I think you are setting yourself up for some possible problems. She is 4 yo. It is bad enough that little girls clothes
look like they are made for 15 year olds, so why add to it. Just MO.

I would have never done that, but to each their own.

There's nothing wrong with it. She can wear them around the house. Don't let your friend cause you to second guess yourself.

I just tell my daughter that she does not need it yet nor has breasts to hold up yet.
When she does, then she will get some when she is older.
And then she giggles.

Each Mom/daughter is different.

I think we live in a society that over sexualizes children while at the same time giving them very mixed messages. I feel that we push our children to mimic adult behaviors without the element of personal responsibility that comes with maturity. Playing dress up is one thing, wearing a bra at age 4 is a different message. I am sorry that your friend found it OK to make you wrong or make you feel bad, but although she may have not delivered it gently, the message may not be off the mark. There are some times when you, as a parent, have to make the differentiation between what is for grownups and what is for kids. It is OK for mommy to say "That is for when you are teen age"

Maybe if she was 9 or 10, but I wouldn't have bought my four year old a training bra. I didn't even know they made them that small!!

harmless... we have such a tendency to over-analyze, don't we? I think it's good to let your daughter be who she is, and affirm her in that :) and form healthy trains of thought rather than paranoid ones... that's what I hope to do in my baby-girl's life :) Best of luck!

I dont see a problem with it at all. It's a sports bra. So what. Not like you bought her victoria secret (which my daughters step mom DID do when my daughter was 5....) so yah.

Not strange in the slightest, I would of done the same thing. :)

I think it is okay to do what works for your family. My daughter last year started to play dress up in my bras (I learned very quickly not to leave them laying around in my room:) and said pretty much the same thing to me. So I started buying her undershirts and cotton camis to go under her clothes. I think the sports bra would have the same effect, its not like you went out and got her some lingerie.

nope not me.....it can go either way for your daughter; she can want more and more grown up things or she could get over it & go back to being a little girl.............i say don't give in to her every want, especially when the things are meant for older girls

I wouldn't do it, maybe some pretty cotton undershirts though. Girls are growing up faster and faster every day.

I got my second daughter a little pack when I bought some for my oldest. She had just turned 5, and is now almost 7. She wears one sometimes, but the novelty wore off almost as soon as we got home. No big deal, you are fine momma. :)

Adding- there have been a few times when they have come in handy! Like, when she needed and undershirt and a tank style showed. Also, if your daughter's are like my daughter's, then they are just a pull over style, not like the 'training bras' we used to wear that were made like real bras. :)

I liked wearing bras at a young age too. Thought they were cool.

Didn't make me promiscuous or want more adult things.

I see no real problem with it, unless they were risque looking things...

Well I don't see anything 'wrong' with it necessarily but I would not have bought her the bras. I would be afraid that she would want to wear them all the time, under her clothes when she leaves the house, etc what would she do with them after you get them home? It was a waste of money if anything. I probably would have just let her try mine on when we got home. My daughter put mine on when she was 4 and walked around my room, looked in the mirror, etc but after that she was over it. :o)

She wants to wear what Mommy wears. Her wearing a too-big bra to play in is no different than her clomping around the house in a pair of your shoes. Ignore the stodgy old farts and let your littlun enjoy her big-girl clothes.

It's no big deal. Your friend made too big of a fuss over it and takes herself way too seriously. She needs to learn to lighten up. Little girls like to play dress up. A dress up trainer bra is no different than trying on a pair of Mommy's high heels, jewelry, blouse, glasses, and hat.

I would not have done it - I just don't see the point. I have to tell my DD (3.5) all the time that XYZ is for mommies, or for grown-ups or whatever. I don't know if it will make her want more, but if it does, you will need to know where to draw the line. If little girls are allowed things at earlier and earlier ages, what next? Kind of reminds me of a post on here from a mom whose 7 yo daughter was invited to a b-day party that involved a spa day for a bunch of other 7 year olds, including acrylic nails - really? At 7???

How do they even make training bras that fit a 4 year old?

when my daughter was about that age one of the girls we babysat about the same age wore them sometimes because her older sister had started wearing a bra and she wanted one too. so of course my daughter wanted one. we found those little half bra/camisoles which worked just fine for what she wanted and she didn't really wear them that much. She'll get bored in time. so I wouldn't worry that much about it. and honestly some shirts are so thin these days at least she'll be covered!!

You know, my grandma bought me a little training bra when I was five or so and I just thought it was the neatest thing in the world. It made me feel so special, and it didn't make me want more adult things.

However, me personally, I wouldn't buy my daughter one because that's really far out there as far as not being a necessity. If I were going to buy her some clothes she didn't need, I'd buy something she could actually use and wear, like some cute socks or a new sweater, etc. That's just a money issue.

I probably would have bought her a little package of undershirts but who knows.

I might have pointed out that as soon as she has any boobies to cover, I would be happy to take her shopping for a bra. But for the time being, I might buy her some cute undershirts or something.

Hi. You already have so many responses, mine is pretty much pointless. :) I just wanted to say that my daughter, at about the same age, requested the exact same thing. I responded the same way as you did. We were even at WalMart! lol My daughter slept in hers, as well... she thought it was comfy. Now, at nearly 12, she wears real bras, and still sleeps in them. I find nothing wrong with it... like you said, it wasn't a thong, or push-up bra. She just wants to be like mommy. Heck, both my girls, when younger, would find my bras and put them on themselves over their clothes!! (talk about embarrassing during a dinner get together!) :-)

Your little girl is just rejoicing in her "girly-ness"....

Sure I would! You didn't buy her a nightie or a thong! They have little girl lip gloss and cosmetics and it is everyone's choice to buy or not buy. I think there are simply some women in this world that worry wayyyyy to early about introducing too early...this is dress up, not sexy time.

Have fun with it and continue to enjoy your moment...it's a cute memory.

Ohhhh I am sooo jealous that you have a daughter and can have little girl things in the house lol just kidding. I was blessed with three boys and wonderful husband and two dogs (both male lol) I personally would love to have a little girl in my house to buy girly things and dress up. I think she just wants to do the things that mommy does. Its harmless women wear sports bras to work out in so its nothing bad...

i rememebr being little and my mom would buy underoos for me and my brother.....some had undershirts and some had little half undershirts that looked like a bra. there is no problem with a child wearing those. :)

I think it's good that she wants to mimic mommy. Don't be like one of my sis inlaws where she never showed her daughter that she needs to wear undergarmets!! She still doesn't wear a bra cause she was never shown that is what you need to wear to feel comfortable.(she is now 16 and wears big shirts and jackets to cover herself) Atleast now she wears underwear. But when she was younger you could not get her to wear them.
You are a good mom. I like to let my daughter (5yr) play with my makeup and paint her nails. If they are curious about things I think we as mom's (parents) we should try to explain to them as best we can why. Who ealse will explain things to them better.... ;-)

I don't see how it harms anything. We have undershirts for our toddler, but during warmer months, I think a training bra might be just the thing.

:+)

This is no big deal! Don't let your friend worry you :)
A bunch of us were getting dressed in a locker room the other day, and my three year old put my friend's 34A cup on. We were just laughing because it almost fit her lol.

I guess that's her opinion. It's a bit of a stretch but whatever works for her . . .

it seems fine to me. just keep an eye on her make sure she's not stuffing it try to wear it out the house!( i know this because i tried it)lol not judgung at all.