So there is a jewish family across the street. Their daughter babysits for me, I feed their fish when they are gone. We are friendly. The mom is jewish dad was catholic and converted. They hung Christmas lights up. I know they aren't orthodox or particularly observant or religious. I know they celebrated Hanukkah because they had company almost every night during the 8 days. So this morning I see the daughter (14), son (5) and father out with their bikes, and skates and skate boards. My daughter Loves the 14-year-old so we walked over to say hello and I said "oh are these your new christmas presents?" They politely answered yes. Maybe they do and maybe they do not also celebrate christmas For Dad's sake. Should I acknowledge my mistake and apologize next time I see them, or is this no big deal? Also few weeks prior I ran into the mom and asked her if she was doing her Christmas shopping to which she more or less said yes.
Good. I guess if it had been a big deal to them they would have corrected me. I do feel better that I did wish them a happy new her for Rosh Shashana few weeks back. To me this is not about political correctness, its just about correctness and thoughtfulness.
Many Jewish people celebrate Christmas as a secular holiday. One of my Jewish friends refers to decorated evergreens as "Chanukah bushes." It doesn't sound like you offended them so let it go.
I am never offended by questions like that.........i am jewish and my hubby is lutheran, although he is more jewish than me sometimes. :) if someone asks if we got something for christmas my kids will normally just say no we got it for chanukkah. they may have celebrated with the dads family. i wouldnt even think about it. :)
I would say "I know you are Jewish and I just realized I asked you about your Christmas shopping a few times past! Will you forgive me?" and if she/they reply something to the effect of "don't worry about it, people say that to us all the time and we aren't offended" then thank them and move on. But if they say it bothered them, then simply ask them what they prefer as a more appropriate way of greeting/commenting on Christmas/holiday things.
I don't think you HAVE to, but I bet it would be appreciated. I celebrate the Solstice and Yule, and although I never correct anyone when they ask about my Christmas, and I am never offended by a greeting or Merry Christmas, I do appreciate when people close to me make the small effort to show respect for my belief and wish me a Merry Solstice.
Question - what color were the lights they hung? Bet just blue and white!
Many Jewish people I know celebrate Christmas as a secular holiday (as many Gentiles do). Since you all are friends, the family could have corrected your daughter's statement without hard feelings on either side, but they chose not to. I don't think you need to be too concerned. Maybe one day, as you're talking to these neighbors, you might ask them - just for your own information - what they celebrate and why. (You may not be the first to have asked them.)
I doubt they thought anything of it -you shouldn't either!
Apologize for what? Did you do something wrong? Am I missing something? You asked a question, they answered.
Nah. I don't think you need to be-labor the point.
The thing is...
...now you DO know, for sure, so just make it a point to be correct next time.
They'll appreciate your effort.
:)
No let it go...It was innocent enough. However, in the future be mindful of what you say when referencing anything religious...
Next Christmas which overlaps with Hannukah...You could say finished shopping for your Hannukah presents? To which she'll reply yes or working on it....Then you can say...I got it right this year! Happy Hannukah & Happy Holidays.
dont say anything, the more a deal you make of it, the more they look the butts of political correctness, that will get them more angry than anything. They know what Christmas is, if they didnt correct you then, it didnt bother them you said it. Just dont do it again.
I think you are being a little too politically correct. I'm sure she didn't give it a second thought
You could say something-I bet you wouldn't have minded if she had corrected you and said "Oh-these are our Chanukah gifts". apologizing is always worth it-especially if it's sincere.
I would let it ride and if you hang out with them more and realize that they don't celebrate both, you can go "oops, I didn't realize" and move on. We live in a very Orthodox area but some of our neighbors have lights up anyway, and I think they are less observant or have smaller kids (one of our Orthodox friends considers Hannukka a very minor holiday that he wouldn't even bother with if it weren't for the kids).
Oh heavens, no, don't say a thing! It isn't a mistake. They hung Christmas lights. They may have even had a tree. They understand and are fine with this. They could have said Hanukkah, but didn't. It doesn't matter. Don't make them feel uncomfortable.
Write on your calendar when Rosh Hashanah is and make sure you tell them Happy Rosh Hashanah when it rolls around so that they know you are trying.
Happy Holidays!
Dawn
Nope.
I wouldn't, kids don't know any better. Take the opportunity to teach your daughter that people believe in different things and it's okay, but not everyone gets Christmas and not everyone gets Hanukkah.
I mostly agree with Jen B. You certainly didn't try and offend them and they obviously weren't too ruffled about it, but if it were me, next time I saw them I'd probably say something like, Gosh you know I asked your kids about their Christmas presents, I should have said Hanukkah! I hope you had a good holiday! I am Eastern Orthodox (Christian) and our calendar is all crazy and we often do not do things, especially Easter, the same as the "western" world so although I'm certainly never offended when people wish me happy Easter or ask about it when my holiday might still be 3 weeks away, I appreciate those people who know the difference and acknowledge it.
i woulnt apologize but I'd J. ask when you see them, i noticed you had christmas lights up...do you celebrate both? J. as conversation.
I'm sure they are used to it...no big deal is the way I look at it!
I don't think you need to apologize after the fact. If you're feeling guilty, then next time you see them, make a point of asking "How was your Hanukkah?" or something like that. I'm Jewish and I don't think it's a big deal at all if people ask what I got for xmas (even if they know I'm Jewish).
I don't think you need to apologize. There is no reason to, in my opinion. However, at another time, you could ask the mother about how their holidays went? Maybe they will share more info with you about their celebrations. It's just part of getting to know them =)
