It's Totally NOT True....

No, one of the parents should have called. That was rude. Some people are just jerks. I feel sorry for the poor kid to be stuck with a mother like her.

She was inconsiderate to you AND her child.
You are too nice.
I know venting here made you feel a little better and I know you do not want to ruffle any of this moms feathers, but nice only gets you so far in life. If this was the first offense I guess I can see some leeway...but do not let it become a bad habit. You work in a field that is easy to get taken advantage of and you deserve better.
Good luck to you, I babysat in my home for years and could not take the "parents" any longer and went back to a preschool, now I have a whole different set of issues lol = )
Lots of luck!
((hugs))
B.

Actually it IS true. You do teach people how to treat you. You teach this mother by saying that she needs to re-read her contract and abide by it. You tell her that you expect your policies to be followed and that her son will be picked up on time from now on and that you will be called immediately unless the parents are dead or unconscious in a ditch somewhere.
That's the teaching part. People will go as far as your boundary after they know you are serious. If she continues to violate policy. Drop the family. She'll learn.

haha, you probably got her in trouble with her hubby maybe?

She has a lack of personal responsibility. You might have taught her in the past that it's okay - since you "are home" that she can leave her child with you - after all - she has paid you - but that's not the truth...I can TRY with all might to be nice, respectful and treat someone as I want to be treated ... but that doesn't mean they have the personal integrity and moral fortitude to do the same...some people are just inconsiderate.

She should have communicated to you that she would pick her son up at X time.

YOU were being courteous. You had a HUNGRY CHILD!!! A child that is normally gone almost 3 hours EARLIER on a "normal" day...if she had said - I have an appointment at 4PM and I'm not sure how long it will take...I will call you and keep you updated - THAT is personal responsibility. Betcha $10 bucks her hubby didn't know she was going to pick him up late...and THAT'S why she's pissed...

I think you are far too nice to your customers...sorry - but I am a blunt person and this is why I could not operate my own child care facility out of my home...working for the corporate one was tough - people bringing their INFANTS in at - 0600 and coming to get them at 1830....hating the weekend because they "just don't know what to do with their kid(s)" and soo looking forward to Monday...never got that...

It is my hope that you are able to get things straightened out with this W. and that she realizes that is was NOT about the food or feeding him - but her TIMING to pick up HER SON!!

GOOD LUCK!!

I would have told her that it is inconsiderate of her to not let you know that she would be late. Furthermore, I would have worried the whole time that something terrible had happened to her. Her kid also could have gotten very worried. Sounds very selfish, especially since you are just a phone call away.

I stress out if I am going to be 10 minutes late picking up my kid, and call the school office to let them know. Her actions are inexcusable.

.

Just charge them heavily for every half hour they are late. That's what the preschools and daycares my kids attended did.

You should not be worried about her "holding it against you." If anything, it should be the other way around. You ARE too nice.

I know that many franchised daycare centers charge a fee if you are late picking up the child. They also call Child Services and the police if the parents are an hour late. Maybe you should implement that into the contracts. Also, do you have a specific closing time. If you run the daycare from your home, she probably also thinks that its ok to be late since it is at your home and you do not have to leave and drive home.
Business is business - it nothing personal against anyone.

Some people are remarkably self-absorbed, and don't even know that's not normal. She may need more bluntness from you. Instead of "…it's okay that you pick him up late, just let me know," I'd be inclined to use a much firmer, "These are my regular hours: _____ to _____. I can occasionally do extended hours in a pinch. But I need upfront communication about this, and my rates will increase after hours."

I would particularly want to do this if I normally reserved my evenings as family time. It's not your fault she decided to use only part of her regular hours.

okay, I have to finally say it, YOU ARE TOO NICE!!! you really do need to be firm, set boundaries, not constantly accept the sad sob stories and start to charge people for not sticking to their normal hours!!! I would hope that you have different rates for your overnight kids vs the daytime kids. I would say the parents that keep jerking you around like this should have to pay a higher rate for the hours past X time they are late. it is like raising a kid for example. they have learned your weak spots and are exploiting them, so now you need to "punish", I.E. stick to rule's policies, etc. I would not worry that you will make them mad and they will leave. it is hard to find good, reliable, safe, trustworthy child care and the families you have know you are good and are doing a great job with their kids, but they also know they can come and go as they please and you wont do a thing about it. sorry this is so blunt and to the point, but you need to hear it!!!!

What you said/felt is totally valid. I despise lack of communication.

OMG, I would never do that!! I used to use a private sitter, and I would text or call to tell her if I would even be 5 minutes late. Now I use a daycare/preschool, and my husband and I make sure we pick our daughter up at the same time every day. We have never picked her up late, but if for some reason we had to, we would call them to tell them. How horribly rude of that mother. You had every right to call the father. My bet is, he called the mom and she got in trouble, that explains her attitude. How sad that she had a day off work and chose to drop her son off anyway, and then to leave him there late. I know when I have a day off, I cherish it as an opportunity to spend some quality time with my child.

Good for you for standing up for yourself. All you wanted was a phone call, or a little communication. I think you deserve that! After all, you take care of her most precious posession. From now on, with that mom, I would ask her at drop off 'see you at the regular time?'. Some people are just dolts. There is no fixing stupid, no matter how hard you try lol.

They could have told you that dad would be picking the child up. That would have been nice so you would know he would be there after 3:30pm. The mom could have been in a hair appointment, at a doc's office, out with friends, etc...she had no idea dad had not kept his part of the deal. A phone call from you a bit earlier would have been fine too.

A regular day for a child to be in child care is about 10 hours, 8 hours for the parents to be on the clock an hour for their lunch and half an hour to and from work is 10 hours. If the child is normally there for less than that then you should be given a heads up just for them to be courteous.

But dad is who she was annoyed with in this case I bet. Not you.

i UNDERSTAND COMPLETELY. I have often been treated like my time doesnt matter as much as someone elses, and not even a phone call in consideration.

It has taught me how i want to treat people, like i i want to be treated. I will continue to be the way i want to see others even if they cant extend the same respect to me.

You really need to establish boundaries with your clients. This is a business, not a home for children whose parents can't be bothered. I really think you need to revisit the whole contract/handbook thing and stick with it. I have had to go through compliance training with every position I have held, I know the rules. Too bad if they get mad or hold it against you. You have too many parents that don't care and do not place value on daycare.

If I was close to three hours late, you could count on me being dead on the highway, plain and simple. I would have called her after 30 minutes not 2.5 hours as well.

Nope and it is the respectable thing to do.

That really sucks!

It put you in a place you didnt want to be and left you looking like the butt head...when you were the one extending your flexibility.

If it were me, I would call her and explain why you were upset. If she has an issue with it, wow then I dont know what to tell you...If it doesnt happen often I dont see loosing client over it...but really do not let her do it again. or you could start charging for extra meal...even if he doesnt stay.

Haven't read the responses..just chiming in to sympathize with you. My mother did daycare my entire life & I did it for a while after my second was born. I would love to do it again, but I cannot & will not deal with the parents. Many think if you enforce rules/policies, well then you must not be doing this because you like kids...you are only doing it for the money. Um..I am doing it for both! In the (MO) state bylaws a child is not allowed to be at a providers for more than (I think) 11 hours, but it may be 10. So, no they can't drop off at open & leave them until close or in your case round the clock..lol. My mom had my dad paying the bills so she let sooo many people go or they paid her very little because they had her feeling sorry for them...or they dropped off early & picked up late...ugghh. Yes you love their kids, but everybody wants their job to end at some point in the day or to startteh next shift, right. Charging extra doesn't really work...unless you're willing to lose the kids...some you may not mind losing, but if you do have good kids/parents you don't want to chase them off. I actually had a mom one time pay me what I told her she owed & then called me later from work ticked off because she thought I charged her too much...it ended up being by an amount less than $20, so I didn't argue & she took the original check back & brought me a new one. What I had figured out though was there were two days where her husband was home but didn't get the kids off the school bus (& I had them for more than a half hour) & a half day of school that he didn't work but left them at my house for a couple of hours & he didn't tell her. So whatever it wasn't worth fighting over, but she took her kids out anyways. I didn't care, I just thought go somewhere else where you can tell them what you would like to pay. No a phone call is not too much to ask. Another thing they don't realize is once the kid is 3 (maybe younger) they start realizing the pattern the kids go home in & they know when they are supposed to go home & know when they haven't been picked up on time. & yes, I am with you, you hate fixing a plate to only have it interrupted & the child not to get to eat or I have had parents that no matter how late they were, the child was to eat dinner at home...really? or you tell the kid no we can't do this your mom should be here anytime & you & the kid sit there "twiddling your thumbs (not exactly)" waiting for the parent to show 45 min. or more later & the kid looks at you as to say..really? or you hold up your evening kids routine because you don't want to in the middle of things when the parents are coming to pick up the others. Good luck! People really don't know what it's like to run a good home daycare.

If I am going to be more than 15 minutes past my usual pickup time, I'll call our sitter and tell her (or send a text - whatever, I get word to her as soon as I know). I think it's mean to your child not to let the sitter know. Children know the usual time they get picked up, and if their parent doesn't show up at that time, they get worried! And then when the sitter has no idea what to tell them, that makes it worse. It's just common sense and common courtesy to notify your sitter when you're going to be late (or later than your usual time, if your sitter is available 24/7).

Completely out of line on her part . . .

I didn't read all of the responses... do you have policies in place that address this issue? You ARE too nice and people can be clueless because they don't really understand what you do from your perspective.

In my policies I phrase it as:

If you will be late for the pick-up of your child please call to let me know. Your child and I will be expecting you at the time you have agreed to be there, and late pick-up without notice will effect the smooth operation of the day and other planned activities, and can be upsetting to your child.
Daily activities and licensing ratios are planned based on times on the predetermined schedule that parents agree to upon placing a child in care. Please be on time to pick up your child to avoid late pick-up fees and adversely affecting the program.
Late pick-ups during business hours will be subject to the $1.00 per minute late fee, unless arrangements for “add on” hours have been approved by me prior to occurrence. “Add on hour” payment is due at the end of each month. Chronic late pick-ups may be cause for termination of the contract.

I get my kids ready for their parents to pick up when they say they will. I do this for two reasons... it makes the transition time easier for the kids when parents pick up, and it's less time that the parents have to spend getting their child ready to go. Sometimes parents are in a rush home or somewhere else or they have other kids waiting. If I tell a child that their Mom is coming in 5 minutes it allows them to process that it's almost time to end play and go home. It IS upsetting for a little one to think they will go home soon and to still be there 3 hours later.

If she wanted to pick up later because she dropped off later she should have said so. My parents agree on set hours for drop off and pick up, so if they bring kids late they know the pick up time is the same unless they request a later pick up AT DROP OFF.

Part of it is that people don't understand your work. Until you actually do the work in your home, you don't get it. But your goal should be to make sure that you have it down in your information so that people understand what your expectations are for them, and to protect yourself as well. I commend you for your patience SLM... I have endless patience with children, but not for parents taking advantage of me or my work. That's why I'm so specific about how I do things. Most parents that I give the info to appreciate that I have covered all the bases and given them information about things they didn't even think about. And for one mom recently she said the paperwork made her feel like I was organized and she trusted how I did things because it was thorough. If you couple that with your quality childcare and develop a good relationship of mutual respect with your parents, its a win win.

Good luck!!

I'm still willing to share my Handbook with you!!! :)