Its Time to Move On

you should talk to a lawyer. If you leave without starting legal proceedings, it could leave you open for litigation. You should at least know what the problems could be and what you need to do legally. to be considered separated, I believe you have to file for legal separation. I'm not an expert, but I'd hate to see you get the shaft because you didnt know what could happen.

you aren't leaving the state are you? You cannot just up and move with a child...you can't be charged with kidnapping, but you can be forced to move back to go to court regarding custody etc. he can claim abandonment or desertion when you do go to court to get a divorce, you have to go about things in a legal fashion.

I moved out for several months before I or my ex did anything legal, and I surely remember the "need to go!" feeling. Eventually we worked through a divorce mediator, not a lawyer.

I would recommend, in your case though, consulting a lawyer about the move across state lines. Each state has different laws concerning family law and divorce, so I would be concerned about crossing state lines without checking with a lawyer about any issues with this. Most lawyers offer a free consultation, maybe even over the phone.

Consult a lawyer, you need to know what to do first so that you protect yourself. I would not worry too much about a global issue, if we are going to have terrible economic doomsday issues, it will be just as bad for you to be with someone you need to leave as it will for you to be alone and happy, if that is what you need to do.

I would be nervous and scared about what you do not yet know, so find out for sure and plan well.

Good luck,
M.

I think your friend is right and you do need to be legally seperated in some way from your husband. Otherwise, your incomes are considered joint (as it is with most marriages) and his income would need to be reported to the state in order to qualify for any assistance. If he makes to much money to qualify, then they will state that either 1) he needs to pay for your needs or 2) you all need to sever your assets somehow (i.e. legal seperation and/or divorce).

Also, most state services require that child support be pursued BEFORE they are willing to provide you with those services (this is especially true for state medicaid and SCHIP programs). But several other programs require it too. It is simply because they factor in the money you get from the father as part of the income for the child in order to determine how much to give you.

You can always go to the state aid websites for the programs that you need and see what all their requirements are. You can also call their offices and ask them questions if needed before applying. My boyfriend was looking at applying for food stamps at one point and the application clearly stated that all legal children and spouses had to be reported on the application, regardless of whether or not they were in your household. They just automatically counted. That was in MO though so I don't know about Maine. Also, you can always talk to a lawyer about the process of getting a legal seperation but not a divorce.

Good luck

DEFINITELY SEE A LAWYER!!! Not only about your son, but you are not divorced. You are still legally bound to your husband. You are still responsible for all his finacial doings. The IRS doesn't care that you won't be living with him anymore. You are still responsible. Get a divorce!!

Good luck!
MD

I don't have legal advice to give you other than find out everything that needs to be done before you leave, because you don't want anything to put you in a snare and he comes after your son. I'm sorry you're going through this.
I'm sending you strength, courage and wisdom. Be strong.

Here's whats happening with one of my friends. She wanted to move from California to another state. The father of her last child said alright, they will work out custody, visitations, and child support between them. She was in the new state for 3 weeks before she was summoned to return with the child to the State of California. He went to the court after she was gone to get her to come back.
First step I would do is go to a lawyer, and go to your local family law section of your courthouse. They often times have "free clinics," which will teach you how to fill out paper work, as well as help you understand what you need to do in these situations.
I know the feeling your experiencing, I remember it like it was yesterday. Is he is willing to sign the separation papers, because that could be done in 1 day - 1 week (at least in California it can).
Stay strong and hang in there!!!