JFF Amazing, Strong Women. Do You Have a Story?

Updated on December 01, 2011
J.F. asks from Bloomington, IN
7 answers

The question about how much it costs about home birth, got me thinking about my mom (who passed at 56 - 8 years ago).

She had my brother (her 3rd child) at our house, on purpose. She had my dad and the neighbor lady in attendance to her. I have no idea where my older brother and I were (ages 10 and almost 3). She chose to have a natural birth at home. It went mostly well for her. She went to the family doctor the next day to have her placenta delivered. Gutsy.

She also moved to Africa with a 9 month old (my older brother) when my dad got a forestry job there. She was 19. They lived there for 5 years.

She was never college educated, but could build or fix anything. She loved her computer and the internet because it was her gateway to learning anything she wanted to.

She loved to travel and never had much money to do it. She spent almost three weeks in Europe with a friend of hers (while dad watched us...I was 12). She and her friend (female) rented a car and camped all over.

I have a bit of her in me. I love to travel, am very mechanically inclined, and will try to do anything myself. Homebirth was out. I NEEDED a c-section with my kiddos.

Do you have an extraordinary story about a strong woman you know?

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A.C.

answers from Savannah on

My grandma who passed away in March: she was POOR, lived in the hills of north Georgia. She was the oldest of 4 sisters and they really didn't have electricity or anything like that. Her mom was sick (cancer?) and died when Grandma was 13. Her dad was a jerk as far as I know....he was having an affair before his wife died, with a 17 year old. When Grandma's mom died, the "other woman" ran through the chicken factory where they worked cheering "the old B---- is finally dead!" Grandma's father remarried (to that kid) like a month later. Grandma ended up being the mom to her 3 sisters because the new stepmom was a stupid kid herself, and didn't do anything good enough anyway. They milked the cows, kept the milk in a stream behind the house to keep it cold, churned their own butter, sewed patterned flour sacks to make dresses, etc. Her first pair of shoes was a gift from my grandpa on her wedding day, when she was 19! She was very enterprising and worked freakishly hard to have a better life. She ended up taking care of her 3 sisters (my grandpa was very cool to agree to this), since they couldn't get along with their stepmom or dad. Every year, even this year, they honored her on mother's day---she was not only their sister but their mom. When my dad's little brother was born with down syndrome, that really lit the fire under her. They told her he wouldn't live past 8 (he's now 52), and that he should be institutionalized. Grandma said NO WAY to that and set out to make sure that if he outlived her, he would be properly cared for and not stuck in some home or institution. Grandpa had a little money from fighting in WW2 and they saved it up, bought a few acres, and built (by hand, not by hiring contractors) a really nice house. The fireplace is beautiful and rivals anything I'd ever seen. The cousins came together to lay foundation and do brickwork, Grandpa did all the pipes and electrical himself, and Grandma did everything on the inside from laying paneling, counters, carpet, etc. She grew her own fruit and vegetables and canned what they didn't eat. She sold some of it at a farmers market. She raised her own chickens (2 chicken houses worth) and they ate chicken and eggs, and she sold much of what they didn't eat or need to continue egg laying. My dad and his cousin built her a little tiny salon by the road on the front of their property, and she and her sisters ran a beauty salon in all their spare time (HA). Grandpa took jobs overseas to make more money and more per diem and sent the money home.....so she was practically a single mother most of the time, and she didn't spend the money he sent home. She banked it or invested it, and only lived off what she was doing herself. They retired as millionaires and have lived off ONLY interest (never had any debt) for 30 years. My special needs uncle has always been well cared for and will always be well cared for. I always found what she did to be very, very impressive. Especially since I hardly know how to sew a button.

8 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Dallas on

My little sister is 26. We call her Job (from the bible) because her life has been one hardship after another. She had a liver transplant at 15 mos after being within 24 hours of death. The donor liver was also likely to have been exposed to the measles. My parents had no choice but to take it. She had a blood transfusion during childhood that also left her with hep C.
She had multiple surgeries during her childhood, was later being abused by her husband, almost died during her 2nd pregnancy, found out that her son is autistic and then a week later, she accidentally killed her 5 year old.
She currently is poor and in desperate need of back surgery (from auto accident) and that girl still wakes up and praises God every day! She's amazing! I know NO ONE that could handle the things that she's been through and could have the outlook on life that she does. I love her so much!!

5 moms found this helpful
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P.S.

answers from Houston on

I love these posts.

Goodness 3boyz...you go girl!

I had a friend who had breast cancer. She was diagnosed w/Stage 3 and immediately started chemo. Took treatments for 4 yrs. The whole time, she did everything possible to cook, clean and go to her kids' activities and events, even if it meant we had to pick her up, load her into our own cars or carry her out to the stands to watch her son play basketball. She would take her treatments at the hospital, be home in time to fix dinner (we all pitched in and brought them meals) or set the table or go w/her kids to their ballet classes or school programs WITH NO COMPLAINING.

I complain when I go to bed late and am sleepy in the morning. And then I stay in my pjs all day. And I'm healthy as a horse.

She was a warrior and a mentor to me in many many ways. She lost her battle in 2004. I really miss her. She was so beautiful, even more now. I don't understand why she died. She was under such good care, the best medical attention here in Houston, and her body was still riddled w/cancer and chemicals. I wish we could find a cure already so no more kids have to lose their mothers.

To anyone who has battled and/or survived breast cancer YOU ARE A STRONG WOMAN!!!!!

4 moms found this helpful
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3.B.

answers from Cleveland on

I like to think it's me....

My dad abandoned us when I was too little to remember. My mom remarried when I was 5, and he turned out to be an emotionally abusive alcoholic, as well as somewhat physical abuser. He played cruel mind games with us, told we were dumb, idiots, would never amount to anything. He physically abused me one more time when I was a teenager. Dragging me up steep stairs by my throat, choking me. Leaving rug burn up my back, his hand print around my neck. The next day I went to school and asked my principal to call the police. My mother, turned on me.Said I "ruined everything" She was having an affair at the time, and he broke it off with her because he couldn't handle the drama.
She dumped me off on some of my friends parents for months. I didn't care though. I was out of hell!
After that my mom didn't care where I was. Ever. I ended up pregnant at 16. I stayed with my sons father, but it was a hard relationship. He was alot older, I was still angry about life. And though I knew it ALL. We fought all the time. But I truly loved him. When our son was 1.5, his father died in his sleep. I was just freshly 18. I lived on my own, work my butt off and never received any help from anyone. My boyfriends side of the family completely dropped out of our lives no matter how hard I tried to keep them in it.
I found myself later in a terrible relationship that broke my heart. And after that I pretty much gave up on love. But amazingly, 13 years after my fiances passing, I met the sweetest, most caring, moral loving man in the world. We now have 2 more children and I have never been so happy. I actually never thought I COULD be so happy!
And I'm not angry or bitter about what I've been through. I am GRATEFUL for what I have now. I am truly truly blessed and lucky!

Updated

I also like to think that because of how I was raised, I am a BETTER parent for it. I tell my kids EVERYDAY how much I love them. How proud I am of them, how they can do anything they put their minds to, and that we will support them no matter what! I strive to be everything my mother and fathers were not!

4 moms found this helpful

E.B.

answers from Seattle on

My Best Friend.

We have known each other since forth grade.

We have always had the relationship that we could go and come back to our friendship with open arms.

In HS we had kinda parted ways to grow up a bit on our own...During this time we graduated, she went away to college, up north and I stayed home and was going to school and working. At this point we were not even close in a sense we spoke to one another. I just knew eventually we would come back to ne another.

While we were doing our own thing, she was out doing good deeds and missionary work.

She spent a good amount of time of the East coast doing some great things. she traveled to Honduras for a long time. Did some mission work and then had come home to finish up school.

In 2003-2004 she had the chance to go to the Congo. She worked in a orphanage for girls. she was there for a very long time.

It was shortly after she came home, we reconnected.

Since then she not only has continued on with school, but she took up buying a house and becoming a single foster parent ALL at the same time. She has done a brilliant job raising Sy-Quay(her kiddo). And is now in the process of planning a wedding(she is getting married to her HS/College sweetheart with whom she rekindled with this summer!). They are making the decision as a family on whether or not they fully adopt Sy too!

She is the definition of strength. And what it is to be a completely selfless person.

When I think about what she has accomplish on her own and what she has planned for herself and her family in the future, I wonder how she does it all.

She works within the Puyallup Native American tribe(she found out late in life that her dad, who had been adopted as a baby was native, they have since been 100% active within the Native community), she works in child services. she has also been working along side the Tribal Police working in the Gang unit. She will go out and do ride alongs and get out and be with those in her community who have been effected by gang issues.

If I could aspire to be like anyone, it would be like her. she has this way of making time for everything and everyone. I am not sure when she finds time to sleep.

She has a well rounded and behaved 3 year old and is walking the path of an amazing soul!!

I love her to death and she will forever be my sister. Because family, to me, holds no blood lines.

4 moms found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

My paternal grandma. she is a 2x 25 and 30 year breast cancer survivor. She fought off robbers in the ski shop her and my grandpa owned. She raised 5 boy and 1 girl. she fought off mountain lions she camped, gutted fish and cleaned deer. A lot that she continued to do into her elderly years. She is one tough cookie. almost 10 years ago she had a stroke. She has never been able to walk since and has never been able to speak really. She has alos had several since. A few months ago she got her first bed sore. It became infected. She had to have emergency surgery. They wanted to do a local anesthesia but it wasn't an option. THey had to do a general and worried about her coming out of it. She did. But during surgery they discovered the infection had gotten into her bones. She was given hours to live. Almost 2 months later she is still fighting. At this point it is only a matter of time. But in a way for the past 10 years it has kind of been a matter of time. She is a warrior!

3 moms found this helpful

N.N.

answers from Detroit on

Your mom was amazing! Cheers to your sister Betty for knowing that God is good through out all of that! I believe as well.........

2 moms found this helpful
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