Just Curious... - Scottsbluff,NE

Updated on June 25, 2011
V.F. asks from Scottsbluff, NE
16 answers

I just recently found out someone in my family is dealing and doing drugs heavily. I want to turn them in and others are saying I shouldn't. I was just curious as to what others would do...

PS. Ok - here are a few more details. Its my husband who I have been separated from for a year now. We have two children and I am just getting things started with the divorce. I'm so confused because I don't want to make things ugly between us....but scared because I don't want him thinking he can just have the kids around that if he was to get custody of any sort.

What can I do next?

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Now that you know, to NOT report him would be wrong on so many levels. To keep quiet is exactly what addicts want you to do, enable them to continue their lifestyle without feeling the consequences. Call.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.G.

answers from Albuquerque on

You can do it anonymously. Contact crime stoppers or the police dept's non emergency #. You will feel guilty forever if they harm themselves or someone else.

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

R.A.

answers from Providence on

If you have proof, I would present this to your attorney. In no way , shape , or form should your children be in the hands of someone who is using and dealing drugs. Your kids could be taken from your husband if he were to get caught in any way( either dealing or using) ,and it also might be very hard for you to get them back. Especially if you knew about this before hand. These are your children, and you need to protect them at all cost.

5 moms found this helpful
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H.W.

answers from Portland on

Talk to your attorney. Keep your business private from anyone who knows you both, and do what your attorney says. Document everything too. I'm cool with a lot of things, but not being in a house where heavy drugs or dealing is going on. All it takes is for one jerk to think "I'll just bring a gun and rip this guy off" and your kids are in danger. Chances are, too, that if he's dealing, he also has a weapon around. Not good.

4 moms found this helpful

L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

Do you kids stay with him?
Does he deal or use drugs when the kids are with him?
Drug dealers attract not only drug users but other criminal elements - do you want to put your children in the position to be victims of a home invasion or other crime?
Do you want to accept child support from him knowing it is really drug money?
Is this the environment that you want your kids exposed to?

Oh, he will get visitation of his kids. That is normal in a divorce. So they will be exposed to it.

If your Ex is dealing drugs he has already made things ugly between the two of you. Why on earth would you be concerned about upsetting him?

Report you suspicions.

Protect your kids.

This should be a "no brainer".

3 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Okay, so your Ex is preying on drug buyers... of which there may be children/teens too.

It is noxious.

Call the police Anonymously.
Why have your kids, around a Man like this???
It is a danger to them.... very dangerous.

Just do not, even hint, that you will call the Police and do not tell anyone anymore.
Keep it to yourself, when/if you call the Cops.

Call from a pay phone or something.

Drug Dealers... prey on anyone.
Children too.
It is a bad world.

You NEED to document EVERYTHING, for your benefit. DO NOT TELL ANYONE.

3 moms found this helpful
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G.S.

answers from New York on

Make an anonymous call - even if it's marajuana there are dealers involved that may deal in heavier drugs which means more money, bigger dealers, a drug bust, guns, etc. God forbid your children are around when something were to happen, do you think any of those dirtbags would question the call they would be making? I hate to put it that way, but think about yourself and your children. Best of luck to you.

2 moms found this helpful
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P.M.

answers from Portland on

You really need to have your own lawyer to protect you and your children during the divorce process. If you don't already have one, get one. Talk to him or her about your concerns, and follow the advice given.

Wishing you all the best.

2 moms found this helpful
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R.K.

answers from Appleton on

I would go to the local library and set up an email address with a fictious name and contact your local police and the DEA. Once the email is sent deactivate the email address.
I would also not ride in this person's car or go to his home or invite him to my home. If he is holding and you get caught with him you may be arrested right along with him. Even if all charges are dropped the stress and legal battle are just not worth it.

2 moms found this helpful

C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

YES turn him in! You need to protect your kids. I would also keep the kids away from anyone who says to not turn him in

2 moms found this helpful
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H.F.

answers from Pocatello on

There's got to be some way for you to just leave an annonomous tip, maybe call the police station from a payphone? You don't want to get hurt for turning him in, but you should do what you can to stop him. Good luck and BE CAREFUL!

2 moms found this helpful
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B.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

If you don't turn him in he may be there when your kids get old enough to want to know about drugs. Then it will be, "It must be ok, Uncle Joe sells drugs and mom knows about it so lets try it." Do you really want that to be part of your family's life?

Call the drug hot line and tell them what you know. You have the choice of being identified or not.

Good luck to you and yours.

2 moms found this helpful
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E.D.

answers from Boston on

Do they have kids that are affected by it? Is there someone close to him/her that can encourage treatment?

2 moms found this helpful

C.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Hmmm... Normally I would say yes, but the thing is that others know that you want to turn the person in so they will know it was you. Are you prepared to be the family outcast and deal with any consequences that may arise as a result? I'm saying this from personal experience. We turned in someone for being a child molester and everyone hated us. We didn't regret doing the right thing, but it resulted in a lot of harassment and almost turned violent a few times.
Drug dealing and use can be hard to prove. I don't know if the police will really get involved if no kids are involved. Best wishes to you!

1 mom found this helpful

J.C.

answers from Columbus on

12 years ago, I was in this same situation. I did a little research and found out that if my ex were to get busted while my son was in his custody, my son would be taken by CPS...that wasn't really a risk I was willing to take. Do some research, protect your children to the best of your ability. Weigh the pros and cons and do what you think is best :) This is a VERY hard place to be. PM me if you want/need to talk to someone who has 'been there.'

1 mom found this helpful

K.A.

answers from San Diego on

I would turn them in. I could never live with the guilt of knowing they are harming others and themselves like that. Family or not I wouldn't be able to live with myself.

I just read you're P.S. You need to tell your attorney that is representing you in the divorce. This will help in making sure your Ex does not get any custody at all. Just a thought..if he's arrested on drug charges it certainly will look even better for you to get full custody with no or supervised visitations by the father.
Good luck with everything. What a horrible thing to have to go through.

1 mom found this helpful
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