Just Want to Vent

Updated on July 02, 2014
S.H. asks from Jasper, GA
15 answers

Have you ever had one of those days that you get so tired of dealing with Drama filled people.
But its a person that you have to deal with.
How do you deal with this, treat them, will it just pass over with time?

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V.S.

answers from Reading on

Well, a drama with only one actor is a monologue. Monologues without audiences shut down a lot faster than those with audience participation.

If you need to "vent" on a public board rather than simply walk away, it suggests you might enjoy the drama more than you should.

7 moms found this helpful

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V.P.

answers from Columbus on

When the drama starts, just remember and recite this mantra:
Not my circus,
not my monkeys.

14 moms found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

Wait, isn't publicly venting in the internet creating drama?

~backs out of the room~

;)

8 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

boundaries.
you may have to deal with them, but you don't have to dance with them.
khairete
S.

7 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Chicago on

Ugh, hate drama queens. Mostly, I treat them the same as everyone else, and I try to not react or get involved with their drama.

That doesn't H. much, but you can remember that it's never about you. It's always about them and you can choose your level of participation.

6 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Ah yes. Sometimes these drama people are at work and they are the people in charge. Hard to avoid.

I just try to get a blank look on my face and not say a word unless spoken to. And then I keep my response very short.

I have learned "Do not engage the Crazy or drama unless it is hurting someone other than the Drama maker. "

I have even dropped people completely that took up too much of my energy. Especially if they were negative or like stirring up trouble.

5 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

At work I declared my desk a drama free zone, so if they have drama they need to take it elsewhere. And I'm happy to remind them.

I changed my facebook settings so my mom can't see when I'm online, so that's cut down on her messaging me all the time with her drama.

4 moms found this helpful
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K.F.

answers from New York on

I learned a long time ago how to not let people push my buttons. I just move the buttons. LOL.

Seriously, you get to decide and determine how and if you are going to respond to another person. The trick is to not get sucked into the drama.

I'm very big on speaking the truth in love. It seems to work out just fine, even in the work place. In the work place I document things via email. It helps to remove all of the back and forth drama that can occur.

3 moms found this helpful

C.B.

answers from Reno on

Yes today. I feel completely surrounded by drama.
I have been complaining to my best friend and putting on my smiley face.
I feel you for sure
Many blessings

2 moms found this helpful
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I.O.

answers from McAllen on

Actually, no. Drama-filled folks are not allowed that close to me. When I do encounter them, those occurrences are few and far between. When I complain about them, I'm complaining from afar. Sometimes I'll even say, "Ooh, you have TOO MUCH going on for me right now," and step away.

The ones I have to deal with, I keep at arm's length. Sometimes at the length of multiple arms.

2 moms found this helpful

C.V.

answers from Columbia on

You need some DramaMine!

Seriously, check out the video. It's hilarious. :)

2 moms found this helpful

J.A.

answers from Indianapolis on

I admit to being quite the drama queen myself. :)

Here's how it works:

If I start venting/ going off on someone I am looking for an outlet. I want them to engage. If they do, then it's on like Donkey Kong, lol! If not, then I am left to simmer it out on my own. As someone mentioned below, it's a monologue until someone reacts in some way.

I gained this insight about myself through years of interacting in troubled friendships and relationships. My mom would actually call me just to vent. I realized how much I hated it. Why? Because I could tell her intent, which was to gain an audience for her rant, and I ended up going down the rabbit hole with her. Every. Time.

I don't speak to her anymore. For many many reasons.

I actually ended a friendship a few months back for the same reasons. She was always venting to me about her drama-filled life as if I was a human journal or something.

It was then that I truly realized how badly I wanted to change my own behavior. The first step was staying away from other people who enjoyed spreading drama.

I'm still a work in progress, but I will tell you that the easiest way to shut it down is to simply refuse to be that person's audience.

2 moms found this helpful
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B..

answers from Dallas on

Ugh. That's so draining. Some of it can be stopped, if you don't feed the emotion. It could possibly be the situation and it will pass when the crisis is over. Sometimes it's the person and their way to deal with every little thing. Then, it's just not in your power to stop it and you need to distance yourself from from the person.

Keep you personal information, personal. Don't share stuff.

Don't react to, or mirror their emotion. Not facial expressions or sighs, or joy for their joy or drama for their drama. sometimes they get bored when you don't feed them and move on to someone who does.

Don't get involved in their rescue, personally. You can suggest a car place but not volunteer to take them there.

Keep your interactions BIFF, brief, informative, friendly and firm. Never waffle, it just makes them try harder.

Never do something against your moral code.

Maybe, under the right circumstances, you can calmly assert yourself in an utterly calm way. They scream, don't you think so and so answer was just crazy? You say with deadly calm, No, actually I think the answer was well thought out.

Of course when these methods are employed, then you could become the target for the drama. Oh well, sometimes it's a badge of honor to be hated by the right people ; )

1 mom found this helpful
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D..

answers from Miami on

Pull your cell phone out and read your emails. Over and over. Ignore, ignore, ignore. If they start fussing, look up and say "Huh?" Then walk out of the room looking totally distracted.

It's called boundaries, mom. Just do it.

O.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Just limit your time with them. If you work with them, keep it to the basics, only talk about what you have to and don't give them any extra time or attention. Same thing for family. If it's your sister and she's having a bday party for her kids, go but only for an hour or so. Just say, sorry, can only stay for a few. If it's a friend that calls you and you hate the conversation, just say, hey, I only have a couple minutes, what's the point of your call? Bottom line is only deal with what you HAVE to, no extra hanging out or chit chat and then you won't be around the drama and/or have to listen to it. Good luck.

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