My 5 year old daughter and 6 year old son still share a bed and take showers together as well. I never thought anything of it until the other day when a friend of mine said that my son was way too old and that it was weird, and they shouldn't be sleeping or showering together. We have never had any incidence of weird happenings with private parts or anything of that nature. They have seen each other naked since birth and they think nothing of it. I told him maybe soon he will get his own room so he didn't have to share a bed anymore and he almost cried. He has no desire to have his sister out of his bed and if fact, he keeps begging me to let our 2 year old sleep with them as well as soon as she is out of the crib. Should I force them to separate?? :/
So just curious because I am totally baffled that this would even be a CPS issue... what about people who do the "family bed" thing with co-sleeping?? Do they get turned into cps too? Are siblings not allowed to change in front of each other either? I am just kind of taken aback because after I wrote this and thought about it more I really decided that it wasn't that big of a deal, especially since they think NOTHING of seeing each other naked, would NEVER touch each other's private parts and are comforted by sleeping together because they are best friends. If CPS wants to come to my home for this instead of taking care of the parents who are out there doing drugs, drinking, neglecting their children or many much more questionable parenting behaviors that go on behind other's closed doors then bring it. Just my two cents and thank you for everyone elses!! And PS, my children all have their own bedrooms and are able to sleep in them if they want to- they just choose not to!
EDITED TO ADD: I PERSONALLY called CPS right now to ask about this because I just couldn't believe that what some people were saying could be accurate and the lady said this is ABSOLUTELY NOT a cps issue. The is NO age where you must separate siblings and the ONLY opposite sex bed sharing rules that there are are certain rules that apply only to children in foster care. Just an fyi!
I think when the kids themselves start feeling weird or modest or self-conscious, then that's when to stop. Don't take to heart so much what others tell you about the little people that YOU know better than anyone else in the world!
I would say it's about time for seperate showers. Not just because of gender, but for the sake of independence. I have 8 year old twin girls. They always bathed together up until they were 6-7. Then they would sometimes. A few months ago right before they turned 8 they started showering and bathing seperately all of the time.
It's just as they get bigger they take up more space. There just isn't enough room for both of them in there anymore. Once in a while one of them will jump in the shower with me in the morning though. This is just when they didn't bathe the night before and we don't have time. It's not a privacy issue- it's a space issue.
As for sleeping in seperate beds, if they want to share a bed then let them. My girls may not bathe together anymore, but I frequently find them sleeping in the same bed together. I would say you may want to start to warming him up to the idea of his own room. Even if he doesn't sleep in there for now. Three kids in one room is just asking for chaos.
I don't think sharing a room/bed is weird. I don't nesc. think the bath is weird either, but would probably being to stop those soon.
I strongly believe in what's good for me and my family doesn't have to be good for you and yours.
Really, TN has a law like that? Weird! :)
I dont think its wierd at all. They are good friends and that is great! I bet your friend wouldn't think it was wierd if they were both boys doing that or both girls doing that. Sibling take baths togeather all the time so what if there a boy and girl they are only 5 and 6. They wont be doing this forever so why not let them while they want to. Im sure it wont be long and your son wont want to anymore and then maybe your girls will. who knows, but i would just let them be kids for now. Its not wierd for them. My son will be 3 in aug and my daughter is almost 3 months, but when she is old enough i plan on trying to bath them togeather. like you said they have seen eachother naked thier whole live, so to them there is nothing wrong with it.
Just adding this:
Make sure, that your kids do not accidently tell anyone, that they shower and sleep together at this age.
The child of a person that my friend knows, accidently told her teacher something similar, and she called CPS on the parents and reported them... since she felt it was inappropriate.
So beware....
I have also 'heard' that at a certain age, a boy/girl child cannot sleep together and that is might even be a 'law?"??? I don't know...
all the best,
Susan
I don't have an opinion on the shower thing, but as for sleeping...
Who LIKES to sleep alone? I know that I sure don't, and any time our son wants to sleep with us he's allowed to.
I think Americans are too hung up on these subjects.
What about bunk-beds or two separate beds, but keep them in the same room. I would probably stop the showers soon, but not make a huge deal of it or rush it.
Yes. Not because of anything weird, but it may be good for the oldest to learn a little independence.
I agree with the other moms but what i would worry about is the law... I don't know how it is where you are but here in TN the law states that girl and boy are to be in different rooms by age 5... it is good to see siblings with such a good relationship but i would put a stop to the showering sometime soon though... i hope this helped
Most people are probably going to tell you yes, but my opinion is that as long as you can maintain their innocence and their fantastic relationship, you should. Maybe showering together should stop soon. Their bodies are going to start changing in a few years, so you want them out of that habit before that happens. But sharing a bed isn't a big deal. They obviously just like to be together, which is fantastic if you ask me. If it's comforting for them, leave them be. It's only western culture that finds bed sharing and nudity weird. If it works for your family and stays innocent, then what's the harm?
Are you kidding me, why would you have them in the same bed and showering together? CPS would love to get a hold of this. Hopefully your kids are not sharing this at school. The need their own rooms, their own beds, and their own bathing time. Susan is right on the mark, the other parents I wouldn't be surprised if CPS is knocking on their door sometime in the future.
When we lived in Military Housing 21 years ago, once a child turned 5 they could no longer share a room with the opposite sex, sibling or not, and I don't know but I would not be surprised if the rules and laws are not more strict now. J.
