Kids Birthday Party

that stinks!
BUT i would leave it there.
no need to say anything to the other kid's parents unless they ask/mention it - and if they do i would simply say they were missed.
next year only invite his very best friends and maybe do an outing - movie, bowling, something he and a few close friends can enjoy.
although it was small you made a special day for him - do not dwell on it (or he might).
all the best.

I was like you (nice guy) for a long time then I joined the PTA. ( the PTA has nothing to do with this, it's a great thing to do Join be involved.) With that, I met people and saw alot of them for who they really were. They say they will come then don't. This is NOT your fault and you should tell your son it is not his fault either put blame where it belongs. You should not invite these children to the next party hard feelings or not. The parents need to learn that it is rude to reply then not show up. if it were them how would they feel. money does not grow on trees.( I feel like my mom.)Please keep in mind I'm not an angry person just at things like this. I have an 11 year old son and I can see the face of yours when no one showed up.

I'm sorry this happened to you and your son - it's very disappointing when a party doesn't come off a smooth as you wanted. I wouldn't contact the other parents about it though. I don't think you could have done anything different. Maybe next year plan to invite more kids, and keep it very simple and open ended - so much can happen that it's good to be prepared for anything.

I agree with all of the other post as far as not saying anything except that you missed him at the party when you see them again. But, to not invite this child again is not fair to the child. Don't punish the child for his parents lack of resposibility. For my kids parties, I usually asume 20-30% won't be able to come and that another 20% won't show after a RSVP of yes. I always purchase enough supplies planning for all of them to come since I have had a few where "suprise" everyone came. If you do want to keep the party very small with just 3 or 4 then I would call and invite them personally and tell them that you are only inviting a couple of children, that should keep them more reliable.

That is horrible!! People are so rude!!!!!! similar situation happened to me last yr for my daughters birthday. I paid a ton of money to have her party run by a company that did a rockstar party, I had professional invitations made and it was clearly written to RSVP by a certain date. Only a few RSVP, the rest did not call at all, so I asked my daughter to ask her friends at school if they were coming where I had to give a head count to the coordinator, I was paying per child plus the favors were personalized and she had to put a order in for them. Well long story short it was a nightmare, people that RSVP'd that they were coming didn't show, and people who never RSVP"D showed up!!! Out of 20 invites she had about 9 girls, and half of them we did not have favors for so it wound up costing me more to order more favors, and just to throw it in the faces of people that said they would be there and were not I brought the favors to school and left them for the parents with a note, I am really sorry you missed my party!!! I am soooo sorry my heart breaks for your little boy, b/c he does not understand that some parents are idiots!!! Poor guy!!

Isn't that infuriating?? Use this as a teachable moment to show your son what it means to keep a promise and to have good manners. A positive RSVP is a promise. Obviously the hospital issue can be completely forgiven. The others owed you a phone call if something came up. You can teach your son that grown-ups make mistakes and sometimes don't do a very good job keeping up their kids' schedules, but make sure he knows it's not a personal affront, and it's possible they have done this to other kids too, so he's not singled out. Tell him you've learned not to pay for people who don't show up or can't be relied upon either. So you find better friends, that's all. You should not have to send a reminder email, for crying out loud! If you see people in passing, then you can say, "Looking forward to having Susie at Jimmy's party next week." But that's it. You simply do not invite them again. You can let your son know that it is not the child's fault but I would encourage him to have play dates with those friends and not pin his hopes on a birthday party. I wouldn't send notes to them unless something comes up, and I would think long and hard about replying to any invitations you get from them. If you do receive one, you can tell the other parent, "I'm not sure what our plans are, and I wouldn't want to accept if there is any chance that we cannot make it - it's not fair to you." And let it go at that. For now, hard as it is, just move on, and stress to your son that it was such a good day the way it worked out.

That happened to my son two years ago for a Halloween party. My heart just sank when I realized what was happening. I did the same as you. I never said anything to the parents - what is done is done. Maybe next time you can just shoot the moms an email a few days before a get together to remind them since you will be dealing with some of the same moms in the future.

On another front - I wonder where you had your son's sensory issues evaluated. I am looking for an evaluation for my son.

Oh my goodness, I can completely relate to this situation. The exact same thing happened to my 5-year old daughter last year. August 13th birthday, no rsvp's by a couple days before, sent out a reminder email, and only 1 person could come because everyone was on vacation. I ended up inviting a few of my own friends' kids so all-in-all, there were 3 children besides my own two daugthers. Even still, there were a handful of families that never bothered to respond. I was so furious at these parents and their lack of courtesy to at least let me know so I would've canceled or planned something different. It was truly heartbreaking, but I tried to turn it into something super special and explained to my daughter that everyone was on vacation. I was in tears also. SOLUTION: This year, I am having her birthday party the week after school starts. Hoping for a better turnout. We still celebrated her birthday w/ cake, presents, and dinner but now she gets TWO parties, just at a later date and she's fine with that. I hope it works.
P.S. Only one family ended up apologizing last year. I let it go because she will be with these kids for so long. But I also will NEVER neglect to rsvp to anyone!
Good luck!

I'm so sorry this happened to you and your child. It was rude of them not to show up for his birthday after responding and saying they'd be there. If there was a problem, they should have called to let you know they wouldn't be attending.

August is a busy time of year as well and many people go away. We've also had a very hot August so maybe they went to the water to stay cool..no excuse but I'm wondering out loud. Next year, I'd hold his party a week prior to his actual birthday. Send out invites at the end of the school year. Have him keep in contact by phone with his buddies as well.

Good luck!
L.

Believe me I know how aggrevating it is to prepay and then have kids not show up.
As hard as it is let it go. Chances are they totally forgot about the party.
If you happen to see the parentd with in the next week or so you could say "oh we missed your son at the party" but it seems like you didnt know the parents that well and it would make things awkward.
Maybe next time have friends of his that he spent a lot of time outside of school with and that you have a good relationship with too.
I hope yous son still had fun.

My 7 year old is a December baby and his party happened to fall the weekend we had that massive ice storm that knocked power out for over a week. Well fortunately we had power but everyone that said they were coming didn't show only our neighbor came w/ her kids. I would let it go but don't invite those kids next year. The only one that rsvp they were coming that has a valid reason for not is the one whose parent spent the day at the hospital because sometimes things happen. I would not be attending those 2 children's parties either. This is why I have parties at my home and when we lived in a small cramped apartment we had parties at my mom's house at least that way if I buy too much we have left overs so no money wasted.

How heartbreaking. I feel so sad for your son. It is rude to rsvp and not show up, but I have to tell you it is likely to keep happening with summer weekend parties. I don't even tell my daughter if she gets an invitation for something on a weekend afternoon in the summer. I rsvp that we are not attending right away, of course. We generally spend time at the beach or "away" on weekends and aren't coming back to town early for a kids b-day party. you might have better luck waiting until after school starts next year, when families are committed to staying local because of school and sports, or arrange for something during the week early in the evening.

there isn't much you can do but let it go. i still don't understand why u waited so long it's nearly sept alot of families are probably getting there last vacation days in and are not around to attend yur sons party. is your son over it? i'm pretty sure u still made his day special, right? and that's all that should really matter. don't dwell on it especially if your son isn't. i know what it;s like to be dissapointed but if u say anything these people will just look at u like u have two heads. i hope u can just move pass this and enjoy your son and the memories you and your family made for him on that day even if only one person showed up

I HATE when that happens and for that reason usually invite more than I really want to show up. Of course occasionally ALL show and then you have more than you want. I am very forward and blunt, and I would certainly send an email or call to let them know that your son missed them at the party and ask what happened? I agree with the previous poster - these are probably not organized parents that you want to deal with in the future so do not invite the kids again. I really do not know how to avoid the occasional person who forgets, except maybe to re-check status a week before by phone and just mention that last year only 1 showed.
You are right to be angry and upset. It is very hurtful even if they were just stupid and forgetful.

S.,

I am so sorry this happened to your son! My heart would have broken if that happened. I would be upset like you are, I would want to know why they didn't come. BUT....I would not even bother asking. Just know not to invite them again and I would not go to there parties either, except the child that was in the hospital. If they ask you, then I would put my two cents in!

D.

Hi S.,

I just wanted to write and say I have experienced similar situations. I have a sister with 8 children. My house is small and is limited in how many we can accomodate. If I invite my sister then we really do not invite many other children. Like you, a lot of planning goes into these parties and the birthday child picks out a theme, games, helps with goody bags etc. They are very excited about their birthday.

When the time for the guests to arrive comes and goes and no one shows up it is heartbreaking. My sister has left me holding the (goody) bag more than once. I will say, I have simply stopped inviting her.

It is best to try to have an upbeat attitude about it because children really pick up on our emotions. These days so many people invite the entire class that maybe they thought their prescence wouldn't be missed. In the future, if you choose to invite these same people I would follow up with a phone call confirming the date and explaining you just don't want a similar situation to occur.

Shame on those parents who do RSVP and then just don't show. How can you teach your children manners if you have none yourself!

J. L.

There is no denying that your guests were rude and inconsiderate. It seems to have been addressed here so the only thing I will add is that 2 of my children have summer birthdays and it is just a hard time to do a party. I strongly suggest doing the party in June right after school lets out or in late August before it starts up again (although I think a lot of people vacation right up until school starts. I think June is your best bet for next year. Celebrate at the time of his actual birthday with family or a couple of friends for lunch and ice cream, a playdate, that kind of thing so the actual birthday does not pass unnoticed. THe birthday thing is crazy, my kids end up celebrating 3 times at least before it is said andd done (family party with aunts, uncles, cousins etc, Friend party and then secial dinner and cake with mom, dad and siblings on actual birthday) it can be a lot of work but they love feeling so special!