Kids Roaming the Neighborhood

NOpe- I have the same problem and same rules. My son is 5.5 and my daughter 22 mos (she is not allowed outside alone). My son is allowed in the back yard when I am in the kitchen and can see/hear him. He is allowed in the neighbors back yard too if they are out (backyards run together). He is not allowed farther. If there is a water activity, I must be outside. I am amazed at the lack of supervision sometimes....

When some of the older neighbor kids are around playing (usually with the neighbors kids who are older) I am outside. I don't think 5 year olds can play with 7, 8, 9, 10 year olds without supervision either.

No, I don't think you're being overprotective at all. You can't trust anyone these days. How often do we watch the news stories about these children who were allowed to wander out on their own and HORRIBLE things end up happening!

Hi A.!
I have a 6 and 4 yr old as well. I let them play outside with the neighborhood kids but only where i can see them. Honestly, you are not being over protective at all.
You have to be extremely careful these days.

It is the same here with our neighborhood kids. They are roaming here as young as 5. I let mine roam to an extent though. I keep a very watchful eye on them. I believe you are doing the right thing!

I can see your viewpoint. I didn't like my kids just up and disappearing. I liked to know where they were. Just in case.
But kids need to interact too. They need a certain amount of freedom. You don't want them to feel like prisoners, confined to the perimeters of your backyard. And another thought would be that if they aren't allowed to set foot outside your property boundaries, other kids will avoid them with the belief that your kids think they're too good to associate. Kids get ideas and can ultimately be very mean. Or your kids will feel excluded for reasons they don't understand.
There has to be a balance. You can't watch your child every minute of the day. Even at your own house. Something can happen in the backyard when you aren't watching them.
I think the situation needs to be reassessed.

No you are not... your kids are the most important thing to you and the only thing you cannot replace... if your car breaks, house burns down, dog dies, etc.. all that can be replaced while it would be sad and hard to do it can't compare to your children, I do not think you are over protective, I am the same way but my kids are younger.
Keep loving your children!

Hi A.,

No, you are not being overprotective. My son is 4 years old and is not allowed out the front door unless I'm with him. In fact, I do not allow my son to open the front door when someone rings the bell or knocks. He'll play in the backyard, but I watch him through my window even though my yard is gated. We live in a much more scarier society today than in years past. I have to know where my baby is at all times or I get panicky. I would NEVER allow my child to play outdoors alone unless he was of age where he knew not to go with strangers and he could use a cell phone if he needed help. You have to do what you feel is comfortable for you and best for your kids.

-M.

nope, you're a good mom and these parents are irresponcible! Keep up the good work! ;)

No you are not being over protective, the other parents are just not parenting! Hold your ground! I am a high school teacher and it is obvious which parents were the "overprotective" ones and which ones were the lenient ones by the teens' behaviors. Your diligence now will pay off later! We need to be there to teach them when they are young! That's what parenting is all about!

A.; its perfectly fine to keep your kids at home,in fact wy not have the neighbors over at your house, see whats happening is while their kids have your kids over they parents get to relax, and dont have to watch their kids. i would definitely keep my kids in my yard, and watch them as much as possible, what happens when somehting goes wrong ? wll you have regrets thaty ou let yoru kid go over there ? things happen most when children are unsupervised, if you need to be with them as i did and they grew up fine and wonderful, then go with them and check out the neighbors yard, and watch them there, or keep them at home, i did that too, just for an hour , and then home, god gave the children parents for a reason, they need supervision, in fact its law that a child cannot be left alone i beleive in this state till 13, so unless they are 13 they should be supervised, and cared for, let the other parents do what they do with their kids but keeping your kids separate can help your children too, to be more obedient, and a more peaceful household, i dont think you are over protective i think your protective, and its a good thing, there is so many bad in this world definitely be protective, as a mom you should follow your gut insticnts when it comes toyour children, even if its hard to do, or the kids want to do otherwise, dont give yourself any regrets for later, take care , i raised 3 boys, and it was my house that held most of the kids, cause i too did not want them all over, we are happy and they listen more so to me than i can say other children listen to their parents, just have a wonderful day , and be happy, D. s

Hi A.,
Wow, your post sounds a lot like what is going on in our lives too! First, I don't think you are being overprotective at all. Your kids are still young, and I think it is wonderful that you choose to spend time with them rather than let them roam around by themselves all day. To let you know you are not alone, I will share a bit of my situation.
My girls are four-and-a-half and two-and-a-half, and we love to be outdoors. My older daughter can be out by herself for a short time since I can see her, but my younger daughter is a "runner" and too young so she cannot be outside without an adult. So, if my girls are out, I am out. Most of the neighborhood kids are a year or two older than my oldest and allowed to roam by themselves. When they see us out, they come over; they come more to play with our toys than with my daughters. These are good kids but I sometimes feel like a babysitter. Also, I sometimes just want time alone outside with my girls. Since the other parents are not usually out, I (like you) do not let my girls play at the other kids' houses.
I say stick to what your are comfortable with. Your kids will grow up fast enough and have plenty of time with other kids.
Blessings
Rachael

Absolutely not - it sounds like responsible parenting to me!!

You are a bit overprotective. My four children played out front growing up as did all the neighbors' children. Our street/neighborhood was safe. That is the big question. I do not think I would do it today as carefree as I did 25-30 years ago on that same street. But in my new area, I am confident that as long as you check periodically and have taught your kids the safety rules, it should be fine to let them visit other houses on the block for more than an hour. It sounds like you do not want them to grow up so fast. Unfortunately/fortunately that is life. Your job as a parent is to enjoy being with your kids, but you must guide them towards independence conveying the rules of good behavior and survival.

I think you're doing just fine. I have the same situation here. What I do is allow a neighbor child over to play, for short stints at a time, til I get to know HOW he/she plays and how well the children interact together.I walk him home to see that he actually GETS home, and usually a parent will come out to meet me. If I notice the kids play well together, I'll let my child go to their home for a little bit. Then I walk back over there to bring my child home. Sometimes the other parent asks if my child can stay longer, sometimes the other child wants to come over our house for awhile. If you don't want them at your house at that time, you might tell them that it's lunchtime, bathtime, naptime, (yeah, right) etc.
Like I said, you're doing fine. My youngest is 9 and he still isnt allowed to run around the neighborhood like so many other kids who are only half his age. I want my kids safe.

No. I have the same rules. Out back and on the deck only unless Im right there. I don't even allow them in the yard unless Im outside. (Our deck is really big.) I cannot fathom letting my kids roam the neighborhood! Let the parents think you are overprotective...maybe it will inspire them to be a little more vigilant!

~L.

No. I do not think you're being overprotective, but perhaps you should consider letting some of the other children come over for about an hour ir two. Perhaps get to know some of the other parents so you can get an idea of what they are all about. I think an hour is fine. That gives the children time to interact with some of their peers and you a little time to focus on some other things.

I totally agree with you, unless you have one of those neighborhoods where everyone's back yard meets or you live on a culdasac, how can you possibly keep an eye on your kids, especially at the ages they are.

I have 5 kids and my oldest in going into 3rd grade. They play down our driveway which I am now thankful is a steep hill or in our back yards, they are not allowed in the front without me. There are too many sickos out there.

I figure play dates are a good way to interaction unless the kids want to come over and play in our yard.

I figure when my kids are older, then they can roam a little more.

I found myself chuckling in agreement at Nicole's "I don't think 5 year olds can play with 7, 8, 9, 10 year olds without supervision either." Every time I ask my older girls to watch their 2 year old brother for a couple minutes, he ends up in the peril I was afraid of.

Personally, I don't feel you are being overprotective. Your children are 5 and 4..... They aren't 10 and 9, or 16 and 15.

But then again, people keep telling me I'm overprotective of my son.... So maybe we're both on the same page of protection!!!

Hello A., I know how you feel, as I've been in your shoes. The problem is that you are depriving your children of developing healthy relationships with their peers. My youngest is 23 and got married last year. His childhood friend from the age of 3, who was the terror of the neighborhood stood up as his best man. My family has had a positive influence on this young mans life, that his own couldn't. The point is, that you can loosen the reins on your kids freedom, without allowing them to become wild. You still have to supervise, and monitor. I had mothers in all areas of our subdivision who filled me in on what went on at their ends of the block, while I did the same for them. Our children never knew this system, and couldn't figure out how we all knew so much. I told my kids that mothers had eyes in the back of their heads! LOL. Our jobs as mothers is to teach our kids to become productive, resposible adults. You cannot wait until their 18 birthday and simply say you are now an adult, deal with it. It has to be a learning experience each and every day while you have some control over them. The time comes too soon when nothing you say or do will have any merrit with them, and you will be glad that you took the time to install those morals early in life. Good luck.

No, you are not being too over protective especially in this day and age. The kids are still young and you are doing just what makes YOU comfy. ;-)

M. in Camden, MI.

I don't think you're being overprotective at all. It's called good parenting

NO WAY. You need to do it your way. What is the worst that can happen if you let them go to a home with lower standards and lack of supervision? I don't even want to think of it. What is the worst that can happen if you avoid these people? They will stop inviting your kids over. Yeah! It is a win-win.

I like my kids at home too. I have lots of neighbors who seem to always be looking for places for their kids to go or want my kids to come over to entertain them. Letting 4 and 5 year olds roam is ridiculous! I won't even let my 8 and 10 year old roam. If they want to leave the yard, I need to know.

I finally decided to avoid them. We do not have the same standards. Simple as that. I have decided I will only let my kids play in homes that have the same philosophy as mine.

You will meet people who are like you for your kids to play with - only they may not be in your neighborhood.

Good luck! Don't cave!

I don't think so. I think your being responsible.

I had the same problem in my old neighborhood.None of the parents watched their kids, they just roamed.I do not let my kids out of my sight because anything can happen. I have four girls ages 5,7,10and 15.I know I am overprotective but it's better than being sorry later.I am even strict with my 15 year old and she does get annoyed but I tell her as her mother it is my job to keep her safe.Good luck! J. O.