Kids Sharing Room/where to Put Them

Updated on May 05, 2009
N.B. asks from Kansas City, KS
16 answers

My daughter is 2 years and 4 months old. Superb sleeper. Still in her crib and I want to keep her there until she does not want to be there. Son is 4 months old. My daughter slept with us until she was 3 months old and then I moved her to the crib, no problem. My son is starting the night out in the bassinette and then when he wakes up to eat at 3 or so, ends up back in bed with us because he just fidgets and wiggles and turns over and won't settle down. Well, he is now also doing this in bed with us and I can get no sleep. I understand this is natural for him to wake up frequently and move all around, so I am ready to get him out. Our plan has been for the 2 kids to share a room for a few years until we are comfortable moving someone to the downstairs bedroom. I had planned to move him into our daughters room as soon as that middle of the night feeding stopped...which it had for my daughter by now. Also, he is almost too big for the basinnette. So, I am trying to figure out where to put him until I can move him in to big sister's room. Also seeking advice about this room sharing at such young ages...will they disrupt each other?

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D.B.

answers from Kansas City on

My 2 year old and 9 month share a room. They have since my son was 3 months old. We usually put our daughter down first and when she is asleep, we put the baby down. The only problem we have had, is when the 2 year old wakes up and the baby is still asleep. She wakes him up with "Bubbe awake". They get along just fine sharing the room.

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S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

I had 8 kids, all grown, and they were in twos. Two boys, two girls, two boys, two girls. It worked out so nice for sharing rooms, clothes, toys, etc. We always had two to a room. Yes, they may disturb each other at first but they adjust just like sleeping with your husband and you adjust to each other moving and getting up or down. But in the mornings it may be different if you aren't up before them. They did wake each other then but I just had to get up and get them going. We also had some 'events' but that is just going to happen. Things like putting vaseline your mommy forgot to put away in your brother's hair, etc. Those things are funny now. Weren't so funny then. All that to say those who shared rooms are now the closest and are friends and it was so good for them. I know you have a boy and a girl so eventually they will need separate rooms but this young they can still be friends and enjoy each other. I wouldn't worry about it but I would check on them often and be sure your daughter understands some guide lines. Children adjust easier than adults do I think.

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S.T.

answers from Kansas City on

If you have a play pen I would use that in your room until you are ready to move him to his sisters room then I would try to practice them sleeping in the same room at nap time to get them used to it! Good Luck

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C.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Our girls are 19 months apart. The youngest stayed in our room in a craddle until she was about 5 months old. They have shared a room since then. We transitioned the older one into a toddler bed before moving the baby into the crib and we never had any problems. The older one actually slept better once she was in the toddler bed because she could get out if she wanted too. We never had any problems with her waking up the baby and she was used to the baby crying in the night so she did not wake up either. Like most things at this age, they will adjust. If you are ready to move him, then just do it and they will figure it out before you do probably.

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

lots of parents use a packNplay in the master bedroom (if a baby bed doesn't fit)....& you may have to eliminate a dresser for now!

But, my very 1st thought is: if your older child is sleeping undisturbed....then please try to protect that milestone for her. Also, since you have children of opposite sex & are already planning on them having separate rooms...then why not take the downstairs room for yourself & give your son your current bedroom. Use a monitor, & that way you are providing a safe haven for him without disturbing your daughter....& most importantly without isolating one child by themselves downstairs. 5 years from now, then maybe you could reclaim your master bedroom...when one of the children shows an interest in being downstairs by themselves.

I think the most important thing to avoid would be moving your daughter downstairs all by herself. This would create not only a feeling of isolation, but also one of being pushed out of her safe zone by her baby brother....which could cause serious issues between the two children.

As for putting the two children together: yes, it's been done & quite successfully. But since your daughter is a great sleeper, then maybe another option would be best.

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T.W.

answers from Kansas City on

Sharing a room at this age is no big deal. But by the time one of them is 5 or 6 you will need to put them in a same sex room (alone or with a sibling). Its sounds to me like your son IS to big for the bassinette and is wiggling around because he wants more room. Your daughter is old enough for a "big girl bed". I would get her a toddler bed and put your son in the same room in the crib.

Hope this helps.
Take care and God Bless :)

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Just like you I kept my daughter in my room because it made those middle of the night feeding so much easier. She also slept between my husband and frequently. My daughter hated her basinette and after about 2 weeks, I just set her crib up in our room. I have a monitor, but she was my first and I was terrified of SIDS. Keeping her in our room was for me more than for her. She's my only child and she has her own room, but her crib didn't go into it until she was 13 months old. I can't speak to whether or not your kids will disturb each other, but I don't see any other reason why they shouldn't share a room for a while. I'm also an only child, but all my aunts and uncles had multiple kids and many of them shared rooms when they were babies and toddlers. I hope you find this inromation helpful and good luck.

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E.S.

answers from Kansas City on

umm i'm not sure where you are but around here according to srs if at least one of the kids can notice and tell the difference with body parts which is usually around 2-3 yrs that boys and girls have to be seperated. so I suggest you two move to the downstairs bedroom and put your son in his own room. baby monitors will help you know when he wakes up.so unless your daughter is a light sleeper they should be ok for awhile but I would watch out for any clues that she is jealous of her brother. kids can be odd about their own personal space.

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D.H.

answers from Columbia on

kids sharing the room at that age is a great idea. #1 more than likely they wont go to bed at the same time and your daughter is old enough to know that she should be quiet so little brother wont wake up #2 She should be out of the crib and the son should be in there. She is a big girl now and needs a big girl bed. hopefully she is potty trained and if not why? is the room close enough to yours that you could hear the baby when he wakes up for his middle of the night feeding? My only advice for the squirming and sleeping with you..is hold him tight while he sleeps with you or cover him well with a blanket so he is as warm as possible. he will eventually settle down and sleep...might try this during the day during nap time and see how it works. possibly turn the radio on so he has something to listen to.
About me: working mom of 6 and i nursed 4 of them so i too let them sleep with me during the night but once they were on bottle they were in their own bed. all were potty trained by 18 months. there is 17 months between the first 2 children, 20 months and 13 months between the next. they youngest 2 are step children with the youngest being one i had to potty train and he did so easily and was done by age 2. hope this helps and good luck

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C.V.

answers from Kansas City on

The thing is if you move your daughter out of her bed and him right into it she might have hard feelins against him.I've always heard to get them in a big girl bed for a while before they give it to the baby.If you do decide to give the baby her bed now make sure you make it a big deal to her with praise,etc.Anyway if you are not ready to move her out of her bed what about putting him in a play pen temporarily.You did need to prepare both of them for those next steps.I know it's hard but if you need to get him weaned into his own bed and room ASAP.And her as well,you maybe should've prepared her for giving up her bed before he was born.I would definately start preparin her immediately.And remember just because you aren't ready for something doesn't mean she isn't.We often are the ones who do worse in situations than the kids.

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J.D.

answers from St. Louis on

In response to another mother, if you don't want to move your less than 2 1/2 year old daughter out of her crib, then don't. There is no rush for a big-girl bed. And, if she is not potty trained yet, who cares! Anyway, have you tried a pack and play with your son yet? My neighbors had 2 girls close in age and the youngest slept in a pack and play in mom and dad's room until she was through with night time feedings. You can leave them in there much longer than a bassinet, yet they can still be close to you if you need it. You could also use a pack and play in the joint room if you're not ready to move your daughter yet.
Hope this helps!

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K.B.

answers from Wichita on

Hi N., do you possibly have a pack N play? I use one here for my 18 m/o gr son during the day, his older brother lays on a reg bed at age 4. If a pack N play will fit in the little girls room with still room to play etc, or in your room until you move him, that might be an option, when the night time feedings are over.

I just use extra quilts in the bottom for more padding. All the Gr kids used it when they were babies staying here.

I think the sooner you can move them is ok, they get used to each other being there quicker. We kept our youngest with us until he was 6 months old, then moved him in with his brother. Didn't seem to be a problem with either one of them. We didn't have the Plus of baby monitors either.

God Bless and hope you got other great ideas or advice.
I didn't get to MS until now, but we have garden things bought...lol Now stop Raining

K. Nana of 5

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D.A.

answers from St. Louis on

My girls are 22 mos apart. When the younger one was born, #1 was still in the crib. We put #2 in a cradle in our room until she was 4 mos. old. At that time, we moved her to a pack n play in her sister's room. We told our older child that sometimes babies wake in the night and cry and not to worry about it, but mommy would come in and take care of her. When #1 was 2 1/2, we got her a toddler bed and moved her sister into the crib. They are now 3 and 5 and share a full size bed.

I was amazed, but our older daughter would sleep right through the baby fussing in the night. Rarely did she wake up. Nowadays, they fuss if they ever have to sleep by themselves!

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H.H.

answers from Kansas City on

my boys are 7 years apart and share a room. I did have the baby in the living room for the first few months which was a room we didn't use that often because we had a den and all the noisy tv/video games were in the den so the living room that was more like a sitting room/quiet area seemed the best place for the baby that would be sleeping a lot as it was the quietest room in the house. When the baby was sleeping through the night we moved him in with his brother and they have shared a room since and still get along well even with the oldest being 16 now and the youngest is 9 now. I also have a daughter that is 14 and she was the one he would run to in the middle of the night if he woke up so would find him sleeping in her bed the next morning. She has always been very close to her little brother and loved helping take care of him when he was a baby so it wasn't surprising to see him find her if he had a bad dream or woke up for some reason.

If your oldest is a good sleeper the baby probably won't bother her at all.

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L.B.

answers from St. Joseph on

I'd move your daughter to a big girl bed and your son to a crib in her room. As for disrupting eachother that's a 50/50. My son and daughter are 4 & 6 and although there are nights that one will keep the other up, 99.9% of the time THEY INSIST on sleeping together because they are scared of being by themselves. Try as we might to put them in individual rooms they just aren't interested...we keep trying about every 4-6 months but right now, this seems to be what they need and who am I to complain? It keeps them out of my bed 98% of the time (which is a HUGE improvement from when they slept in separate rooms). All I can say is the whole parenting thing is nothing but trial and error. What works for me, may not work for you but all you can do is try what you think will work for your family. Best of luck!

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C.A.

answers from St. Louis on

My tow youngest are 18 months aprat and although they are grown I can remember this like yesterday. For us, letting the share a room did not work. The baby would wake up crying and then both would be awake. Or the older one would wake up and go the bathroom, which then woke up the baby. It just did not work.

I struggled with the whole issue and we had an extra bedroom upstairs, that we decided to turn into the babys room. If I were in the situation of not having another room, I think I would make some other arrangements for night time, at least until the baby is a year old or so. Maybe a small crib that can be set up in the living room at night, or even in the ocrner of your room at night.

My parents put me in a crib in the hall way until I was old enough to share a room without being woken up or waking someoen else up. I dont know if this will happen to you or not. I just know that I got less sleep when we put the together than I had with the baby in our room. Good luck.

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