Letting Go of Pacifier

You could try cutting the tip off so it is less desirable to her.

If you don't want to let her cry it out, you may have to wait until she is old enough to comprehend the "pacifier fairy" or giving it to a new baby. You should only do what you feel comfortable with, but to be honest, I would let her cry. It would likely only last a couple of rough nights and then it would be over.

Another idea, if you think she would understand it, is to take the pacifier to the Build-A-Bear store out at the Mall of America, and have them put the pacifier inside of a bear for her. She would know that the pacifier was now inside of the bear, and the bear would be hers forever. I think that is such a cute idea. Good luck!

Hey -

Just wanted to offer more support. Both of my kids are "paci" kids, and although my mom looks down on it, I see no harm. My son gave his up at age 2 1/2 (by crying it out for a few nights - I was pregnant and when the baby came 5 months later, he didn't even know what a pacifier was :). My daughter is 21 months now and is very stubborn about using it at nap, bedtime, and sleepy times around the house. No big deal. We'll make her give it up when a sensible reason arises, but right now - who cares. She loves her two blankies too, and that's adorable to everyone. I don't see much of a difference...

what im wondering is why is the 2 year mark so important for getting rid of the nuk? i mean, who makes that rule, you in infinite knowledge of your daughter, or some doctor or someone who doesnt know you or your daughter?

i would have liked that my son was rid of the nuk by now too, hes almost 29 months. at this point we have watched him and he will sometimes fall asleep without it. however, the times he doesnt, he tries to suck his thumb.
so i guess its up to you. you can try to make her get rid of it. she could start sucking her thumb, something that you CANT get rid of later.

i would relax. after all, shes only using it to get to sleep. is that really so bad? i dont think that it is. its unfair to put unnecessary pressure on yourself for something you are doing with your daughter based on some "expert's" advice. YOU and dad are the only 2 people who know your child the way you do. NO ONE has the right to make you feel that you are doing something wrong because you arent doing it their way. the more relaxed you are about it, the better. perhaps she will surprise you and not ask for it some night soon. maybe not. either way, its NOT going to hurt her, its not going to ruin her teeth, she will be fine. in the meantime, you can use the 'dont ask dont refuse' techniques - never withhold it from her, but dont feel like you have to give it to her without her asking for it either.

good luck. sometimes it seems like we are screwing up our kids because the "experts" know so much. for the most part, so called experts dont even have kids and if they did, you would see a drastic change of tune..... our preconceived notions of how we would raise kids changes after we have them. just trust your gut. you know what your girl needs, no one else knows her that way! :D stick with it! :D good luck!

L., Our daughter is 5 now, but she also really loved her pacifier and used it only in her crib. We decided the best route for us was to make her pacifier undesireable to her. The first night, we used a sissors to clip a small hole in the end of the pacifier. When she noticed it, we said, "oh, that's too bad... it's broken. Do you still want it?" and she did. (We made sure there was only 1 pacifier around!). After a few nights, we clipped a little more off. Eventually, she couldn't keep it in her mouth anymore and she just held onto it. At some point, we decided to toss it out together, since it was "broken". This way, she was weaned off it gradually and she was able to understand the concept of it being broken. Good luck!

Hi L.- I actually read this idea in a parenting magazine and haven't had to try it yet because my little guy is only 10 wks old. But i did tell my sis in law to try it because her 3 yr old was still using a pacifier at night as well. The idea worked! Tell your daughter to put the pacifier under her pillow so that the pacifier fairy could come and take it when she is sleeping. The fairy will take the pacifiers from all the "big" boys and girls at night to give to "new" babies who need them! It is worth a try! Your daughter might feel empowered by "helping" out a new baby who needs it! Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck!

Hi L......this is a hard one, especially for the moms/dads! Both of our older boys LOVED their NUKS...starting at 18 months, they could only have them in their crib (for naps and nights) then at about 2, we just "lost" them. We LOOKED everywhere for them (even called the Grandmas to see if they were at their houses)and just couldn't find them. We did this at the nap time first and all the while I kept saying, well, we will keep looking. The both didn't nap great that first time, which made bedtime better (they were more tired!) They maybe asked about it for another day or two, but that was it! Good luck....we really thought it would be worse then it was :)

C.

I just want to say that there is no rule about when your child "must" give up the pacifier. It's purely a matter of what your family is comfortable with and what your child is ready for. Dentists and pediatricians agree that there's no dental harm until permanent teeth come in. You are limiting it to bedtime, so there's no speech or social interference. You say "she's almost two years old" - I'd say: she's only barely two years old. Do whatever makes sense for you and your family, but you should *not* feel pressure to "stop the paci" just because there's some idea out there that it's a harmful habit. Your daughter is soothing herself to sleep - that's a life skill. I'm a big fan of the pacifier fairy idea - in our case, it was Santa Claus, but same thing. We offered our then 3-1/2 year old son a 3-wheeled scooter (which he coveted) when he was ready to give away the pacifiers - big boys don't use pacifiers, and big boys get to use scooters. It was totally his choice, we told him if he wasn't ready when Santa came, that the scooter could come later when he was ready. It was his choice, it went very smoothly. For about a week he had some trouble falling asleep, but we just laid with him for 30 minutes or so, and then over the next week or so weaned him off of that, too. No crying, no screaming, no forcible removal of this comfort object he'd depended on since birth . . . it doesn't have to be a big deal, and it doesn't have to happen until your daughter is ready. Good luck with whatever you choose to do - that is what will be best for your family.

Hi L.,

I got some great input from a book called babywise. It has some great suggestions as to how to handle these types of changes. I just took the pacifier away from my baby yesterday using a technique that I read in the book and it worked good for me. I know that every situation is different so please rely on your instinct and what works best for you. Good luck!

Hi L.! Don't feel bad for still letting her have her paci. She will let it go eventually. She is doing really well to only need it at night! My son was "addicted" to his pacifier but shortly after his second birthday he forcefully bit a hole in it, shrugged and said "yucky", carried it to the wastebasket and threw it away himself and never asked for it again.
Our peds. dentist says that it will NOT harm their teeth.
Please don't worry about it. You have done nothing wrong in letting her keep her paci. She won't need it much longer. A paci is much easier to give up than sucking on fingers! :) Despite the stigma that people force on pacifiers, it's okay to let her have it for awhile longer.

The pacifier fairy or something equivalent is a great idea. You may want to wait until she is a bit older and can understand that option more. She is not being harmed by using it. It can affect tooth development, but not until after the age of three. I wouldn't rush it especially since she uses it so minimally.

my son was 3 when he stopped using his nuk. we allowed him to help decide when it was time to get rid of it. He wasn't about to fall for any tricks or leaving it for Santa in exchange for toys. Just like potty training it was on his terms with our guidance and patience. We talked a lot about not using it and not being able to find it for periods of time - it always reappeared. later that day. He hasn't asked for it since and hasn't used his baby brothers. I always kept in mind that this was his first and only self soothing tool so he was the one that had to be ready to get rid of it.

We cut the tip off of our daughter's pacifier around that age. She was only using it for nighttime and napping at that point. She put the paci in her mouth and pulled it out, then said to us, "Binky broken. I get a new one?" We said, "No, honey, that's all. The binky is broken." We calmly asked her if she wanted us to throw it away, since it was broken, and she agreed. She cried a little bit that night, but has since gotten over it. One idea of many, I'm sure. good luck to you. Whatever you choose, know that it will probably be a hard couple of nights at first, but eventually it will get better, just stay firm and stick to your plan - don't go back and give the paci again.

Hi L. - I used the pacifier fairy idea for my two daughters, and plan to use it for my son also. I waited until my girls were a little older, as some of the other moms suggested, and it worked really well. My oldest daughter asked for her pacifier the first night after the fairy took it, but I just reminder her of what happened, and that was the last I heard of it. The second one didn't even look back once. I'm hoping it goes just as smoothly for my son! I have to admit, though, that my girls were both about 4 when I did this. They only could have the pacifier at bedtime, and I would take it out after they fell asleep. My son is 2-1/2 right now, and just restricted to naptime and bedtime. But I don't think I'll wait as long with him.

I have boy/girl twins who were both VERY addicted to their pacifiers. Just before their second birthday we had flown to visit family in another state. After the flight home, we took their pacifiers and never gave them back... they quit cold turkey. It was a little rough for about five to six days (nights mostly) but we didn't give in. If you give in, like you already have, they just learn that crying long enough will eventually get them what they want. Stay strong... it's worth it in the long run. Good luck.

My daughter always had a pacifier in her mouth and one in her hand. I had trouble trying to get her to give them up. My sister had her little girl "give them to a baby who realy needed them" I tried it and it worked. She did not ask for it once. good luck.

I have two suggestions. The first is what Super Nanny does and she has a "paci fairy" come and take it away in the middle of the night. She talks to the kids before hand about what is going to happen, and then in the morning it is gone and the fairy has left a new treat for them!

What I actually had to do is let my sister keep my daughter. My daughter would regularly sleep over there if my sister was babysitting and my sister had consistently not let her have her paci so that when we were at her house, it was never an issue. My husband and I left town for a few days and my sister specifically never even mentioned the pacifier. Three days later, she was totally over it! I'm not sure if you have this option, but it was the only thing that seemed to work for us. (Our daughter was 2 1/2 and very determined to keep it forever).

Hi! I just wanted to reassure you--- they will let it go. my girl gave it up almost all by herself just after she turned 2. i didn't make an issue of it and i think that made it easier. i pretty much figured that if she needed it at night- and since that was the only time-- that it wasn't a big deal yet. her speech was developing normally and she wasn't running around with it all day and everywhere we went, so i didn't care. i figured i was the one that had to pick my battles and there were bigger ones to be fought that i cared about more. i think they follow our leading/guiding more than our pushing. if they see that we don't think something is a big deal, then they won't. maybe your child is dealing with learning/growing in so many areas (they all are at this age), that this is just one thing that is a constant, predictable comfort for her. that's ok. trust her and yourself. it will all be ok!

A friend of mine used "the pacifier fairy"! Her little girl's nooks disappeared during the night, and they were replaced with some awesome big girl presents. It worked like a charm for her! I think she was about 2 and a half when she did that though, so maybe your little girl is still a little too young, and you can let her suck on that pacifier a little longer. I have the same problem with my 23-month old son who sucks his thumb, but you can't take away a thumb! good luck, C.

I saw one other post suggest this, and my daughter's pediatrician also suggested it. You could try cutting the tip off the pacifier. Just a little bit at a time, but each week or two, cut a little more off. Eventually it will not be as comforting to her, so she'll just give it up on her own. We haven't tried it yet, but my daughter is also 20 months old and only uses for sleep, so we're thinking it's about time, too.

If she is only using it to fall asleep then I am not sure what the problem is. If kids are using all day long then some people say it can affect teeth development and speech, but even that is not a given. My son used his paci until he was almost 3 and then gave it up willingly for the paci fairy to come and bring him a toy. IMO you should just relax and be happy she has something that soothes her to sleep.

My son also had a difficult time giving up his pacifier at night. He was a little older, about 3 yrs., when we finally found success with the "pacifier fairy". We told him that when he was ready to give up his pacifier, he could put it under his pillow for the pacifier fairy. In exchange for the pacifier, the fairy would leave him a gift. It worked! He never looked back!

L.,
I just wanted you to know that it's not "too late" or anything...my daughter is 20 months old and still uses her pacifier for bedtime and naps. I've read other posts on here by moms who've gone much longer. And many have been told by dentists that it's okay to wait until they're 2 yrs old to start taking it away.
One mom blamed it on the dentist! The dentist said it was time to stop, so when the kid asked for it, she just reminded him that the dentist said no more pacifier!
We're not going to take away our daughter's pacifier for a while. I was thinking of doing something on her birthday...like, big 2 yr old girls don't use pacifiers anymore..now here's your birthday presents.
Good luck!