I was blind sided last night when my husband of 19 years told me he has not been happy for several years and "does not see us making it another 19 years." We have had our communication issues but I did not expect this. He never actually said the word divorce but has had an initial contact with a lawyer. I am hoping to convince him to go to counseling, but at the moment he is not very open to it. Does anyone have any information, suggestions on a marriage counslor, what I should do next etc. Thank you
Thank you to everyone who responded. At this point my husband has agreed to try counseling but in his words "for the sake of the children." He states that he has no interest in repairing our relationship or to regain the love/caring that he once had for me. It makes me wonder if it is worth trying. I feel as if he expects me to make all the changes and still won't have any love for me.
L.,
I'm sorry this is happening for you but please be encouraged! I know a number of couples who have made it through some very tough times. It obviously took time to get to the point he's at so hopefully he'll be willing to spend time to work on it. Don't worry immediately if he's not willing to go to counseling - a lot of men have this terrible fear of couseling! I'll be praying for you.
L., I'm sorry to hear that. I too thought I was happily married in 1998 when I found out my husband was sleeping with a coworker. I found out on a Friday night and filed for divorce on Monday morning. My dad is an attorney in Farmington HIlls, he doesn't really do divorces (except for mine) but he has several friend who are divorce attorney's. Several of my friends used referrals from him. If you are interested give him a call and he would be happy to hear your story and refer you to the best one if you need to.
Allen Schwartz ###-###-####.
My sister was headed for divorce, they went to a marriage counslor i believe in Rochester and now they are planning to stay together. She said this counslor was great. Let me know if you would like his info.
I'm sorry that this happened to you. For something like this to come out of the blue is very upsetting. What I would do next is start out by having a heart to heart talk with him and ask him to honestly tell you where he stands in the marriage. I would want answers to the tough questions like does he want a divorce? Does he want to make it work? Is there someone else? What about the kids?, etc. and go from there.
Good Luck,
MC
