Looking for Advice from a Mom with TWIN BOYS over 3

Updated on November 08, 2007
D.B. asks from Las Vegas, NV
9 answers

I need some advice from a some one who has gone through what Im going throuh with these Boys. The bigest problem right now is how at bed time/nap time they stall for almost about an hour they play the wanting game "I want this no I want that one" "no my turn" "open the door" any thing they can think of. We try to cover are bases when we put them to bed we give them there stuffed animals, a sippy cup of water and other routine things. But they just dont give up we have tried letting them just cry but that truns into them kicking the door or them destroying there room or just playing with each other, we have tried not saying any thing to them and just putting them back to bed. Nothing seems to work other than me laying in there with them which i have only done a couple times. Please help Thanks

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J.V.

answers from Tucson on

Hi D. I am J. and I have 8 year old adhd twin girls and we have been going through this since they were toddlers as well. Nothing the doctors do help no melatonin sleeping aids nothing has helped. We have tried everything everyone has told us we have tried routine on top of routine you name it and its still the same. We tried putting them in seperate rooms to which they screamed all night long and woke up tons after falling asleep. I wonder if this is a twin thing because none of my other 4 kids do this. Good luck and please post if you find something that helps.
J.

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J.J.

answers from Phoenix on

i helped my sister 9 a single mom) raise her twin boys. i am now raising my grandson and this worked for all of the boys. set a schedule and keep to it. at 7:30 it s bath time and after bath time there are no stimulating activities. no running around or wrestling. if they do it then they go to a time out chair for 10 minutes at a time. they can read quietly or just sit and look at magazines. make it a game. whoever talks first is out of the game and they dont get a prize. i save up toys form meal pagakes from fast food places, as i cant ever eat a big meal so i always order the small one. i also ask my firends andneighbors to collect them. you can reuse them once they are discarded by the kids just wait a few months in between bringing them out. bed time is at 8 so in between bath and bed, you need to take each of them to the bathroom one at a time and have them brudh their teeth and get a drink of water and whatever else they usually ask for. this is called specila time with mommy. the one waiting cant wait to see what you are doing and cant wait for his turn. bedtime means lights out and no gettingout of bed. firmsness is the best policiy. once you give up for one thing its over. kind of sucks caus eyou cant watch the news or anything else either during that time but i usually went into my room and closed the door and watched tv or i sat in the living room and crocheted or knitted or read a book. lots of praise in the morning when they get up. and lots of hugs during moms and child special time when getting ready for bed

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K.R.

answers from Phoenix on

I find with my 3yo that if I give him a head's up about 10 minutes before nap or bed time it helps. When I put him down I literally tell him the rules (no talking, singing, playin, hitting or kicking the wall, orgetting off his pillow). We have the same routine everyday and this seems to help. But there are days where he sits in bed for two hours and never naps. I've heard of some people giving their kids an "excuse card" or "hall pass" where they can get out of bed once but they have to give up their card/pass and can't get out again without some sort of punishment.

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A.B.

answers from Santa Fe on

Lucky yes to be a stay at home mom (which I also did for 7 years with 2) AND it's so important to be sure that you teach them that they NEED the quiet time to rest their active little systems, and you NEED space to restore yourself and to continue to be the super mom you are. Be firm and loving with routine bedtimes for naps and night - for years I went to sleep right along with my 2; sandwiched because they would wrestle and even hurt each other from being overtired. Now, that they are 9 and 5 - they each have their own room and bed, and are much better at the entire process - with my firmness at wind down quiet time (naps became time in their bed with a number of books, and if they slept or not they had alone, peaceful time midday), then lights out at the same time each night (allowing for 11 hours of sleep). Lights out was HUGE as we learned that they produce melatonin in the dark (no night light) and sleep is more restorative. Good luck on your journey!

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R.B.

answers from Phoenix on

I have twins that are a couple months shy of 3 that share a room and I've found the easiest way to get them to sleep at naptime is to sit in their room until they're asleep. I just sit there and read a book until they fall asleep. I've found that if I'm in there they know they are not allowed out of bed so they will calm down and eventually nod off. Besides, I get to read a book for about 20 minutes. In the evening we try to take a walk about a half hour before bedtime so that they can run around a little and get their energy used up. By the time the bath is done they are ready to sleep. Good luck!

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S.H.

answers from Denver on

D.,

My twins will be 3 in January but because I have a 6year old boy and a 4 1/2 year boy as well, I know exactly what you are talking about. The older ones fight the naps constantly and the twins do now as well even though they are exhausted. There are a couple of things that have worked. One, I let them know in advance that nap time is coming a half hour or so before it is nap time. It gives them warning and isn't a surprise. Then I talk them through it. Have you gone potty. Did you get your drink. Do you have your pillow and blanket (that get pulled off the bed regularly). Then I remind them about 15 minutes before nap time that it is almost time. Most of the time, this works well. On the spunky days where that hasn't worked, I have seperated them. With no one to play with or distract them, they fall right to sleep. Have fun. My four boys are quite the handful.

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L.R.

answers from Phoenix on

My 3 year old is just like that and the days he naps, bedtime turns into such a fight because he isn't tired. But on the days I let him go without a nap, he falls asleep without any hassles by 7:30 or 8:00 at the latest. They may be at a point where they don't need a nap in the afternoon anymore. Try letting them go all day without one and they should fall asleep in the evenings without much of a hassle at all, because they will be ready and tired.

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L.R.

answers from Fort Collins on

I've got twin girls that are almost 8 along with a 5.5 yr old & a almost 2 yr old. What worked best for me was to bring them all into the living room for naps, everyone got a spot on a couch or chair or floor & they couldnt do anything other than lay there & be still. It worked awesome.

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N.D.

answers from Reno on

I don't have twins but my tow boys are only 13 months apart so it is close. They share a room too. I would maybe try shortening the nap and putting beftime off for 20 mins or so. It sounds like they are not tired enough to go to sleep. Also try putting one down like 10 mins before the other and spend that 10 mins with some one on one quiet time while the other one gets some one on one with daddy. At my house the one that is not in the room with me gets a special story from big Sis ( there is no daddy at our house) Each night the boys switch who gets to go to bed first. I enjoy the time as much if no more then the boys do, it really gives you an insight to how their little minds are working and how they view stuff when they are not influenced by their brothers ideas.This also helps quiet big sis down too (she's 8) Good luck.

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