Make These Children Fall Asleep! Please!

My boys have always shared a room and when they go to bed at the same time it's a disaster. The youngest has always had to go to bed earlier and most of the time he's asleep when the oldest goes to bed. On those occasions when he's still awake, a warning of an earlier bedtime the next night usually gets their attention! Good luck!

It sounds like they are overtired. When they aren't getting enough sleep they have a harder time falling asleep. It's a vicious cycle that makes bedtime hard on everyone. Try reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It explains in detail how to break the cycle. Good luck.

we had some of the same problems with my fiance's sons who are 4 and 7. we started putting them to bed at different times. we let the oldest stay up and watch a movie while the youngest falls asleep. then the oldest goes to sleep. it has led to both going to sleep a lot faster. good luck, i hope you find something that works for you.

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I'd put the 4 year old to bed an hour or so before the eight year old. Let the 8 year old stay in your room and read during that time. It'll help make him drowsy (with any luck), and it'll be good for him :)

I have 4 year old twin boys. I have struggled greatly with bedtime-posting here, trying seemingly everything, going to a psychologist... There were a couple of things that finally worked. First, I gave in and sat with them instead of going back downstairs. Saved lots of energy. But, after several months, got tired of sitting there for 3-4 hours per night. Finally, I tried melatonin (after talking to the doctor) and it has made a world of difference. I discovered that they were overtired. As they got more tired at night, they get more wound up. I never would have though that boys who would stay up 3-4 hours after bedtime needed to go to bed earlier! But, if I let them stay up even an hour later, I pay.

Now, melatonin about 30 minutes before bed. And bedtime is an hour earlier than it was when they wouldn't sleep, and often they are asleep so I can go back downstairs within 15 minutes. The combination of melatonin, my change in expectations, and an earlier bedtime were what turned us around.

My stepsons used to have to share not only a room when they stayed with us on weekends, but also a full-sized bed (from ages 5 and 6 until 9 and 10, when we bought our first house and they still had to share a room, but at least they had bunk beds at that point). Your kids have enough of an age gap that the 4 year old could go to bed earlier than the 8 year old. With my stepsons that would not have worked (they are only a year apart) and they would constantly get out of bed after being put to bed, complaining about the other one talking, kicking, etc. I resorted to bribery. If they could both stay in their room and we didn't hear them talking or making any noise, they each got a dollar the next morning. I told them that if either one of them came out of the room after lights out, or if we had to go in there after lights out, no money for either of them. We didn't care if they were quietly talking but once it got out of hand, they lost out. It forced them to keep it down and to work it out themselves instead of always coming to get us. Best $10 I ever spent!

If the baby has her own room see about putting the four year old in there with her if there is possible. I think that they need to be seperated if they are goofing off. I would say this a very good option.

Hi V., what my parents used to do with us, was send us to bed an hour earlier the next night, and once you are going to bed right after school trust me you learn. We have 2 sons who are 3 years and 4 months apart, we had a simular bedtime routine, ours also had a story, we let them talk for awhile as long as they were not being to loud cause we had a baby girl at the same time, but they would talk and play till they feel a sleep. J.

You can do all the fancy things you want. I finally got tired enough of the fighting with kids to get them to go to bed, I told them, "Bed time or Swat time. Your choice." To the winey/cryie, "But I'm not sleepy. . . " I'd say, "I don't care if you are sleepy or not. I want you to lay down on your bed and close your eyes and pretend to go to sleep. I want you to be an actor just like you see on TV or the movies. Pretend to go to sleep." To the mad and "Im mad and I'm NOT going to sleep" I say, "I don't care if you are tired or not or want to stay up all night. Stay awake if you want. I don't care. Just close your eyes and pretend to go to sleep."

Of course pretending to go to sleep would send them off to dream land in a few minutes.

Good luck to you and yours.

TV makes my child stay awake then have nightmares.

Do they drink soda? When my child was given soda at a party, she was jittery for hours.

Life is way too short for all this. Here's what you do. Double air mattress on the living room floor. Get the electric kind that blows up and comes down in a minute. Fold it away during the day. Let them fall asleep in front of the tv. They will. Put them down earlier and earlier and you lay on the couch with a book or something on your laptop and headphones if you have one. You and the kids will fall asleep. When you wake up and want to be in bed you shut off the tv and make sure the doors and windows are locked and go to bed.

I know people will say it's a terrible habit. But my kids have stayed up and watched tv for years. I was always able to call an early night and when I really needed extra sleep. Or I get a few z's while they enjoy their show and yet I would wake up if they try and run around. My adult daughters are no worse for the wear. :) These times will pass. They don't have to be painful!

Hi, V.:

Have you got their room divided?

Do you stagger their bedtime?
Just want to know.
D.

My son is 5 and struggles unless we sit in his room until he is asleep or almost asleep. It's a pain and not a great habit to start. But if it is taking hours to get them too sleep then sitting in their room or by the doorway (reading a book or something and saying "goodnight" firmly if they talk or get up) for 20-30 minutes may be an improvement. Also if you have a new baby then the older ones may be craving extra attention and Mommy time. The other thing, is your 4 year old still napping at daycare? He might not be tired until late, later than you older one if he gets a long nap. You could try putting them to bed at different times (which may be more work).

I just posted a link on my FB page to a hilarious pdf book circulating on the internet called "Go The F**k to Sleep." Google it! If you have a sense of humor, it will have you in tears from laughing! Sorry, but that's all the help I have!

Hi,
I know it's probably difficult to get some excerise in for them during the day if you work. I've noticed it takes A LOT of physical stuff (play, soccer, bike riding, etc) to make my kids get tired but they definitely sleep better on the days when they moved around. I've recently started to get a 40 minute power walk in after dinner (now that the weather allows it) and my kids came with me on their scooters. 40 minutes of scootering wears them out :) The other thing we've done was to separate them. I made my little one go to bed earlier with an extra story to make up for the earlier time, and then talked to my 8 year old about responsibility and how he gets to stay up a little longer because he is older and soooo much wiser already. He got to read in the living room (no TV before bed because that's another trigger for them to get more wound-up) and then tiptoe in their bedroom and UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES get my little one up and running again :) That worked and after a week or so, it's now routine, and I think they both feel better. Good luck! It's all going to work out in the long run :)
M.
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