Please help! She will not go to bed til 10 or 11 pm at night. She does not nap either! If she does nap, forget it, We're up all night. She is very active, has an older sister who is almost 5 that she tries to keep up with. I have no idea how else to tire her out. she runs around all day, we have a trampoline, and lots of toys. She is in a playgroup almost every day.
I am fussy about what she eats, so she is not on a high sugar diet or anything like that either.
My husband and I are losing our minds at night, not to mention we have NO alone time, and I have NO down time during the day with her.
There is no point in letting her cry herself to sleep because she is just NOT tired. She needs about 9.5 - 10 hrs of sleep a day. She sleeps til about 7:30 or 8am in the morning. I know I could wake her up earlier, but then she'll nap, and that's no help!
She will NOT do any self play in her crib either. I've tried those soothing toys that light up the ceiling, the stuffed animals that sing lullaby's, etc, and nothing works. She cannot do self play at all outside her crib either for that matter. She is very social, very active and needs constant attention.
Any thoughts?! Help please. My husband is at the point of just letting her watch TV til she passes out on her own. I do not however want to go that route.
Thanks!
I think this is a question for your doctor as I am pretty sure that almost all not even 2 year olds need more than 10 hours of sleep a day total.
She sounds over tired. My son is also a big ball of non stop energy. But the more tired he gets, the more stimulated he gets and the more hyper he gets. What you are reading as NOT tired may very well be over tired. And what time is the nap? If she is falling asleep at 3, then yeah, a nap won't help you much. I am a firm believer in early bedtimes for small children. So I would move her bedtime up 15 minutes each night until you get to around 730. And you may have to let her cry it out a little bit. Read the Healthy Sleep Habits book by Weisbluth. That book really helped me understand sleep cycles and small children. And no, please do not go the TV route. I have a nephew that cannot go to sleep without his DVD player, and he will watch it until midnight.
I would guess that she needs way more than 9-10 hours of sleep a day, but that somehow her body has gotten off track. I have a 2-year-old, and everything I have read says this age still needs 12-13 hours per day. I wonder if she is overtired from no naps, and that is why she is up too late? I'm certainly no expert, but I would suggest trying to "start over" and re-program her body to a more "normal" sleep pattern. You and your husband need your alone time too! A friend of mine recently gave me a formula that works for her 2-year-old, and I've been sticking to it and it seems to be equaling really good sleep for my daughter. She suggested that her child (and most this age) need a nap about 6 hours after they get up in the morning, and then need to go to bed about 4-5 hours after waking up from their nap. So, if your daughter got up at 7:30, put her down for a nap no later than 1:30. Then, if she gets up at 3:30, shoot for bedtime between 7:30 and 8:30. Do no tv after dinner, and make sure the house is as calm, quiet and dim as possible during bath, stories, etc. Maybe a cup of warmed milk during stories so she has a full belly? Put her in her crib after your routine and check back periodically if she's not sleeping, just reminding her that it's night-night time. (Sometimes mine gets playing and seems to forget that she is supposed to be going to sleep, but if I go in and remind her it helps).
I know this all seems counter-intuitive, but everything I've read and heard says that more sleep equals better sleep. I think if you can give her the opportunity for MORE sleep, it might help.
Good luck!
Is she tired and cranky? If not, then she could be getting all the sleep she needs. Just because a book says the average child needs 12-13 hours, doesn't mean you have an average child. From about the age of 2 1/2 both my boys gave up naps, and slept from 10:00pm to 8:00am. They were happy, healthy and active. That is just their natural sleep pattern. Once in a while they would get over tired, and catch a nap in the van, or go to bed earlier than usual, but for the most part 10 hours was sufficient. I was pleased they weren't average sleepers. We could do more activities, without having to plan around naps, we had more time to spend together, they seemed socially advanced for their ages, because they had more time to practice. Sure it is exhausting for you, but as she gets older she will become more independent, and you will get down time. If she sleeps for 10 hours, and the average adult sleeps 6-8 hours, you should have a couple hours of alone time.
ETA: I have provided a link that talks about gifted kids needing less sleep.
Do you have a bedtime routine that is the same every night? That is key. I would agree that she sounds overtired, hyperactivity can be a good sign of this. My 21 month old has dinner at 5:30, tub at 6:15 and is usually asleep by 7pm, then wakes around 6:30am with a 2 hour nap from noon-2. This did not happen magically, I read EVERY sleep experts book and took what I could from them. Routine is important, make it enjoyable and calming. I also have some board books in the crib. TV would be a bad habit and ultimately may make the problem worse. One of the most important pieces of info I got from reading is that "sleep begets sleep." the more sleep they get, the better they sleep. When they skip naps stay up late, the hormone cortisol kicks in and their overtired little bodies go into overdrive.
Do you have a "calming down" period when it's getting close to bedtime? I know my kids were a little troublesome if we didn't have some quiet time. Do you follow a routine? That is VERY important!!
What worked for us was getting them ready for bed at the same time every night; bath, brush teeth, potty, etc. Then I would lay in bed and read to them for a little while. The rule was they were not allowed to come out of their room once I kissed them good-night and left their room. And if they wanted a drink of water - well, I gave them a squirt-top water bottle they could keep by their bedside. Solved that problem real fast.
I would still discuss this with the doctor. He/she might recommend a small dose of melatonin or something.
Good luck!!!
She sounds like a ball of energy! That will serve her well one day. My first born was kind of like that, but our situation was different.
My son, at about 12 months, used to go to bed at 1am. That's when he got tired enough to fall asleep on the living room floor, and I'd simply scoop him into his crib. Then one day I put my foot down and declared midnight bedtime. I started to get too tired at 1am! You see, my husband and I were in graduate school. We were able to sleep until 10am. My son would often take his evening nap at 8pm, and I remember people asking if he (in the jogger stroller) was down for the night! LOL. Those were the good old days. Now we have a schedule with school so it's bed by 7:30, and 4 kids.
It sounds like she needs to learn to self-soothe. Certainly, not TV at this age...but perhaps a bit of firm love, to learn that she does need to go to bed or at least be in her crib. That you will not come running, and that YOU are going to bed, and say good-night.
