Mama's Boy

Updated on July 12, 2009
S.Q. asks from Franklin, MA
6 answers

My one yr. old has alwyays been "high maintenence" as I like to call him. Over the past few months he has become increasingly attached to me. Now we are at the point if there are "outsiders" around he has to be with me. If we are just around the house he is usually ok as long as he knows where I am and keeps in close proximity. If he becomes anxious in any way, he screams and cries like he is being tortured. This is very difficult, especially when we have company over and I need to be doing something else (preparing dinner, etc...) and meanwhile he is screaming. He is my 4th child and I have never experienced this with any of the others. Is there anything that can be done to help or do I just have to ride this one out???

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H.F.

answers from Barnstable on

I've got four babes also, (8,6,4,2) - this is normal behavior, and you should ride it out. My youngest did the same thing at about a year, and it was VERY difficult trying to have company for dinner, like you said. It didn't last forever. Maybe you've got a couple months to go?

And, yes, some days are joyful, and some stressful, like you said!

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R.K.

answers from Springfield on

Try wearing him in some sort of carrier or sling when you are preparing you meals, cleaning, etc this will at least free up your hands so you can get things done without the screaming. My 2 year old is like this too. Also check out askdrsears.com they have a section on this.

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C.W.

answers from Portland on

HI S.,
I would suggest a simple solution of playing a game with him once or twice a day.. called "Find Mommy!"

Just put him in a room and then go to another room and see if he can find you without calling out or crying! Youcould also play the game..Find him.. and he goes to hide then you look for him.

Since he is only one, I do not think it is completely out of normal to be clingy like that.

Good luck with him!
C. W
Introducing families to toxin free homes
www.LiveTotalWellness.com/Arizona

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C.B.

answers from Boston on

My oldest daughter was colicky and cried many hours during the day and evening for the first 6-12 months of her life. I had to carry her in a sling to keep her quiet, and even that did not always work. Daddy was not able to soothe her. She is now 12 and will always be highly sensitive. We have found that she can deal with one impact on her senses at a time (like noise, or hunger, or bright light, or dealing with a sibling, or dealing with a visitor) but not more than one. She has also always hated being in crowds, and noisy activities like fireworks or large birthday parties. There is a great book called The Highly Sensitive Child (http://www.amazon.com/Highly-Sensitive-Child-Children-Ove...) that helped me understand her a lot better. The first 2 years were difficult and she cried well into 2nd grade every day I dropped her off at school, but she has matured into a self-aware caring young girl. She knows she needs lots of "down time" to herself and with her art to be able to deal with the world, and she copes during the day but does need at least an hour to herself when she gets home from school before starting on homework. The positive thing is that I always know exactly what she is feeling, and sensitivity expresses itself in concern for others and the environment and in many artistic ways. You probably have a highly sensitive little artist in your care and guidance. Good luck.

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E.A.

answers from Boston on

My first son (of 3) was like this, it was very difficult,he wouldn't even go to his dad. Its very hard when you can never get a break even for the bathroom. He's almost 6 now and no problems at all but it took a little while to get there. He was highly sensitive (still is) and had trouble hearing and communicating because of his ear problems which was part of it- I was the only one who know his signs of what he needed. When we got past that, it was just working it out. My inlaws would take him sometimes (kicking and screaming until he got there) to give me a break, that helped. Dont worry it does get better! E. oh the other thing that helped a lot is a very strict schedule/routine so he always knew what was going to happen, lots of transition time, calm surroundings. The sensitivity thing makes them afraid of all around them, the noise the activity. Hard with 4 kids I know. Good luck

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M.D.

answers from Boston on

One thing you need to keep in mind is that this is indeed age-appropriate behaviour, even though your other kids did not do this. Therefore, all you can do is treat the symptoms, you can't really cure it.
If you are busy around the house, try wearing him in a sling. This is what I do if my 17 month old son really needs me but I really have things to do around the house. I also wear him in a sling when we are doing errands. The close physical proximity soothes any stranger anxiety. The kind of sling I use it just a large Indian shawl, akin to a Rebozo, tied around me with a knot at the shoulder. Look online about how to tie a sling.

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