Mamas -- I Need Help!!!

Updated on December 13, 2009
R.D. asks from Keller, TX
12 answers

My good friend took her life about a week ago. She left behind a beautiful, sweet, blond haired boy that was so in love with his momma. Her memorial is on Sunday and I volunteered to watch the son so that Dad would know that he is in a safe place away from the drama and sadness. At 5 years old, he wasn't ready to expose him to that yet.... so while he's here with me, I'd like to do something for Dad from the son and have him finish it, wrap it up and he'll have a present to put under the tree for him... can anyone help me come up with something extra special? We will have ... about 4 hours to complete it...and since he's 5 it can't be too involved but I really want to do something. Any ideas would be appreciated.

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E.T.

answers from Dallas on

What a tragedy! I am so sorry to hear of this -my heart goes out to all of you. I think you have gotten some good suggestions. I really like the angel ornament idea.

I also want to give a recommendation for the child. The Warm Place is a fantastic organization that provides counselor kids who have lost a parent. They are in Fort Worth, and they have a ton of helpful information on their website: www.thewarmplace.org

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B.F.

answers from Dallas on

I am so sorry. I know your friend's husband means well but going to the funeral service might be the best way to give the little boy a sense of closure. If he stays with his decision, remember the 5 year old' attention span is limited (you don't have 4 hours, you have about 30 mins at most) and we (as girls)expect a level of sentimentality that boys just can't handle. Keep your expectations real and his expression of love for his father quick and do-able. His grief may come out in unexpected ways. You are so kind to be thinking of him in this way and I am sure you are going to be his biggest blessing in the future. May God guide you... and him.
B.

1 mom found this helpful
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O.M.

answers from Dallas on

I am really sorry to hear that. One of my best friends lost her life to the hands of her ex husband several years ago which I know is a little different but the loss is still very real.. I bought a star in her name for her kids...You know one of the stars in the star registry. It is pretty cool, they send you stuff with the stars informtion and you name the star after them. Another thing I can suggest is maybe a photo collage...

1 mom found this helpful
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T.C.

answers from Dallas on

Rene,

You could also help him tie a Polar Fleece blanket to Hug his daddy. They don't take very long, and even little fingers can tie knots. It's something he and daddy can snuggle together with all year long. How terrible for this little boy and his dad.

T.

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L.S.

answers from Grand Forks on

What a horrible thing to happen. Im sorry for your loss, and that little boy must be so confused. A scrap book would be nice of the memories they had. It may be too hard for a 5 yr old, but it would be a nice memorial item. I like the idea of the tie blanket, or something like it. best wishes

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S.T.

answers from Dallas on

What a tragedy! And so close to Christmas - it will be a painful time for them every year from now on. It's very nice of you to keep the little boy and to want to do something for the dad. The angel for the tree is a good idea and I also like the blanket one. One thing that I did with my son that I treasure to this day is make a plaster cast of his hand when he was small. There are kits at craft stores and it doesn't take long at all. It is so neat to pull it out and compare it to his hand now that he's a man. My prayers are with you and this family.

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E.P.

answers from Dallas on

Once when a little girl from across the street was visiting us, my mother cut an angel's body out of white, textured left-over wallpaper - - body was about a 4-inch tall triangle. She stretched lace over some florist wire for wings, and she cut out the little girl's face out of a previously-taken photo. She glued it all together and used a gold pipe-cleaner for a halo. She gave it to the little girl to give to her parents. We lived across the street from them for 8 years. Every year, her mom would hang the angel ornament on their tree and make a big deal about how nice it was of my mom to make it.

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H.D.

answers from Dallas on

I am so sorry not only for you but that precious little boy. I really don't know of anything. Maybe you could make an angel Christmas ornament since she can be their guardian angel now.

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N.

answers from Dallas on

Oh my gosh, how very very sad. Bless you for helping this dad and his son even though I'm sure you are grieving your friend's loss as well.

I love the idea of the angel Christmas ornament. When my husband was very young, probably around 5, he made an angel Christmas tree topper at school and his mother used it every year until she died a couple years ago. I think it always made my husband feel very special that she took care of it and used it for 30+ years. All it was was a styrofoam ball for the head with blue beads that he used straight pins to stick on for the eyes and I think he drew on the nose and the mouth, a golden pipe cleaner for the halo, posterboard cutouts for the wings and gold (shiny gold, not like yellow gold) construction paper taped in a cone shape for the body so it would fit on the top of the tree. I think he may have glued on a few buttons on the front for decoration too. He has it put away somewhere as he got it when she passed. She always made a big deal about putting it on the Christmas tree every year so I think it was as special to her as it was to him.

What a horrible tragedy. I will keep this little boy and his father in my prayers.

Blessings,
N.

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L.T.

answers from Lubbock on

What a thoughtful idea. I think the tie blanket is a great idea. Winter nights can be chilly and a blanket encourages snuggling. Another simple project is to make Dad a t-shirt with little guys hand prints. "Dad's helping hands". Footprints work well too. "following in Dad's footsteps" You could even make one for father and son.

Hope you find that special something.

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L.A.

answers from Reno on

I'd ask the dad, friends, and look through your own pics and make a memory book with the child. Have friends tell you fun stories about her, have dad tell you some stories about her with her son and have her son think of all the good/happy things he did with his mom or remembers. That was he can keep those memories safe as he ages and they blur with time and he'll be more focused on the good parts of his mom. It'll also give him a touchstone as time goes by and he misses her.

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

Check out http://www.dltk-kids.com/, they have lots of craft ideas and you can search by supplies, theme, and for the person receiving the gift. You can also check familyfun.com, they usually have good ideas.

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