Marriage - Los Angeles,CA

Call a womens shelter, get out and then divorce the ____ and take everything! This is not something the kids should have to see or live with

He is abusing you all! Get out...Go to a shelter. He is a doctor so you can get a good divorce lawyer and take him for what you deserve.

I'm not feeling well right now, but I want to add this point with the other posts you have received...

Just because you were a stay at home mom/wife does not mean you have nothing and cannot touch "his" money in a divorce. He obviously knows that too or else he would have divorced you by now. I'm sorry you are going through this and it is horrible how he is treating you. I don't know all the background, but I do know that even if you did not technically have a job at a company, you are still owed 1/2 of whatever he owns. He knows this! Why else would he try to demean you and make it sound like everything is his? That the money is his and you cannot touch it?

Get your self a good lawyer and a good friend to stay with. Rent a room from someone nice, like another woman your age. Look for a part time job.

Make a positive list of all the accomplishments that you need to make to make YOUR life better. What kind of job would make you happy? What kind of hobbies would you like to do? Are you religious? Would a church community make you feel satisfied in life? Since you feel alone (which I have a feeling you are not) you need to seek new friends that can give you positive feelings and not toxic.

Make a journal of all the a$$hole things he does, date and time these things so you can document them for the lawyer. Keep copies of bank accounts and other bills that the husband has in his name only. But do this all before he knows you want a divorce.

I'm usually the one that is first to pipe up to say "Save the marriage!" but I know when they don't work too. My mom was married to a raging abusive jerk, so I see the red flags when they are thrown.

Good luck to you and God bless.

I hope I made sense and Now I'm gonna nurse my headache from my kids, LOL!

Please go to a women's shelter. Whatever is going on with your husband, your marriage is over, and you need help starting over. If you have no means to get there, please call the police non emergency line, and tell them you need transportation to a women's shelter. They will help you. The man you married is gone and as far as I can tell, he is only in your life now out of guilt, which is not going to salvage a marriage. He is probably gambling or doing something else with his money, and you need to move on while you still can. The shelter will give you a chance to meet some new people and help each other start your lives over. It will be difficult, but it's time.

Hello, I just lost my husband a month ago and I miss him so much it hurts. I never had to go through what you are going through. I can say that if I were in your position, I would hire a good lawyer and divorce him. He HAS to support you. You have given 30 years to him and your children. The court will look at his assets and decide how much he has to pay you.
Good luck. You deserve so much more than he is giving.
K. K.

Its very simple. Its time to do you. File for a divorce and get Alimony and child support. Stand up for yourself and what you deserve. You are the only one that you have. Find your inner-strength. Its time to fight.

You have rights. You don't have to put up with this. Please call a women's shelter as soon as possible and get a good divorce lawyer ASAP. You do not have to put up with this and you do not have to be alone. With a lawyer's help, you should be able to receive temporary spousal support to help cover your immediate financial needs and, through the divorce process, your husband will have to disclose his finances (income, assets, everything) and you will receive your rightful share of the marital estate. In some states, that would be half of everything.

I am sorry for what you have been through and what you have yet to go through to get yourself to a better, more healthier place in life. Sometimes it is better to be alone than to be with someone who doesn't have a heart. But if you reach out to those who can help you and truly care, then you will not be alone for long.

Blessings.

OMG you are in a horrible predicament it seems like the man you married isn't honnoring his vows to be by your side through thick and thin. I truly symphatize with your situation and although no one can tell you what to do you need to make the best decision for yourself and your children. I imagine it's even harder because you don't have a support system to find comfort in. Take your burdens to the lord and leave it there, search for some agencies in your community that can give you alternatives whether it's someone to talk to or help in any way that they can offer, use all your resources. Best of luck to you.

God bless you! What the heck is wrong with him? You have been going through this for 7 years? Honey no one can tell you what to do, but you are obviously crying out for help! I don't have any new advice, I agree with what all the others are saying, you need to respect yourself and your children and get out. I know some religions do not believe in divorce (because mine does not) however I believe that your life and your childrens life is at risk. What do your children think of all of this? God is with you and wants you to take care of yourself! I do not believe in revenge so I do not think the way to go is to hurt him in anyway but I do believe that it is not safe for him to be practicing medicine. I know that this jumbled but I am just so shocked that a man who promised to love and honor you for the rest of your life, and who took an oath to care and respect others could behave in such a horrible way. You are in my thougths and prayers! God bless! PLEASE let us know that you are ok

This is certainly a difficult abusive situation... Where are you children now? If grown, how can they help you???? Hopefully you have a phone. Please call social services in your area and ask what assistance they can offer you... I wouldn't mention it to your 'husband' until you have a real plan in action. Since you have access to a computer perhaps you can check out 'shelters for abused women' in your area and e-mail them...

N. love- You are not alone in this world. As you can see by the comments of the other mommas that have reached out to you here, you need to get some help, and you need it now. Life is too precious to waste away in your situation. Please, PLEASE take the advice we are all giving you and reach out to a local organization that can help you until you get your feet back under you. You will look back on this time as a dark period in your life, and you will be SO glad and proud of yourself for making a change. It won't last, unless you let it. Please keep us all updated.

I have a few questions: Where are your in-laws? Can you confide in them? What are your kids' ages? Certainly, one or two are adults by now since you were married 30 years. And where are they? Can they help? Can you divorce and get half of the house and money? It shouldn't matter whose name it is in but I'm not sure about Ohio law. Do you get any disability b/c of your health? I would contact a lawyer and find out your rights. If he says he is broke - they will find out. And, I would get help from your kids in any way you can - getting you food, driving you places (again certainly one or two are old enough to drive). Your post is quite disturbing. I'm sure there is something against the law about him not buying food for you if you are unable to buy it yourself. You are in a world of hurt and my prayers go out to you. The internet has a plethora of resources - use it and hopefully you can get out of this man's life and start to put your back together. I'm sure there are a momma's on this site that will have better advice but I wanted you to know you did not go unheard. Blessings and peace!

I would consider calling your local shelter, then a good divorce lawyer. You say he jumps away when you hug him, I'm surprised you even WANT to hug him, let alone want him to hug you, after the way he's treating you!

I have no advice. All I can say is Wow!
Just know that I'm praying for you.

You have received alot of good advice. I once received a piece of advice which I have followed ever since. You need to love yourself first. It's time for you to move on and make a life for yourself. Maybe asking for help at your church or maybe finding a friend in a neighbor that can help you with the transition. You never know but there are angels out there that can help you. You have to seek it.

Good luck.

If you have access to a phone, call a lawyer ASAP. In most states, you are entitled to half of everything he is and owns.

If this has been going on for 7 years and hasn't gotten any better by now, I think the best thing to do is leave. Find out what kind of services might be available to help you get back on your feet. The enviroment you are in sounds toxic which can't be helpful when it comes to your health concerns. I think at this point it's better for you not to be there anymore.