Married Mamas - Do You Still Notice Other Guys?

Updated on February 27, 2012
S.S. asks from Los Angeles, CA
51 answers

So I realized that even though I'm very happily married, I still notice guys. Not in a sexual way but in a "hmm he's cute/nice/funny...wonder what kind of bf/husband he'd be." I moved around a LOT as a kid and the first thing I always did at a new place was look for a guy to crush on to ease the transition/make life better. I think it's almost like a habit that I can't break. Like I said, I'm very happily married and I'm not actually interested in pursuing anyone but I find it weird that I still think like this. Just trying to see if I'm normal or need therapy. lol. So tell me - do you still notice guys??

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

OK whew! glad to know I'm normal :)

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.M.

answers from Denver on

Oh yeah. Just the other day one of my son's classmates had his Dad at the school....let's just say I noticed. He was in a flight suit (OMG) and looked a lot like Tom Cruise back when it was cool to be Tom Cruise. LOL...it made my day just a bit brighter.

7 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.L.

answers from Atlanta on

I didn't go blind or deaf when I got married, so yes, I still notice if someone is attractive, really kind, funny, has a lovely voice, or whatever. However, I'm also totally clear that I'm not interested in anything more than appreciating the people in my local scenery. No one I've met yet will be a better spouse to me than my guy.

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.S.

answers from Boca Raton on

No . . . at 42 I'm probably past that phase.

I still think my husband is the most handsome guy in the room.

I have noticed that guys no longer stare at me. :( Boo.

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

E.D.

answers from Seattle on

I notice everybody.

She's got a beautiful smile,
I love that man's ability to hold a conversation,
What a kind person,
Whoa, I don't want to talk with her anymore,
Her voice is gorgeous,
His interactions with children are playful and trustworthy,
I'm sure he/she makes a wonderful parent,
That person seemed tired,
She/he had an awesome body,
I like the way he/she holds themselves,

And so on and so forth.

10 moms found this helpful

⊱.H.

answers from Spokane on

I'm married, not dead.
Heck ya I notice other guys!

EDIT: and my husband will notice an attractive woman (as do I!), and I am totally ok with that!

9 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.B.

answers from Missoula on

I'm married, I'm not blind.

7 moms found this helpful

☆.H.

answers from San Francisco on

It's a marriage certificate, not a death certificate LOL!

7 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.B.

answers from Detroit on

I am very happily married and would rather die than cheat in any way on my husband...but sure, I'm also a human being. I used to work with a guy years ago that I have to admit I kinda developed a bit of a crush on. He was super nice and just an all-around fun cool guy, and he was HOT to boot! I think it was his personality that attracted me more in many ways than just his looks or his body. But the "crush" was as far as it went!

7 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.M.

answers from Dallas on

In the voice from Monty Python's Holy Grail, "I'm not dead yet"... :)

6 moms found this helpful

R.D.

answers from Richmond on

Oh hell yeah, just the same as I'm sure my husband notices women (but he's a lot 'smoother' about it, LOL)

Just because you already ordered doesn't mean you can't look at the menu!

6 moms found this helpful

C.P.

answers from Columbia on

I notice men and women like an artist appreciates beauty in another's work or a singer appreciates another vocalist's ability. I don't want it, because I've got my own...but I appreciate it.

Some people are just beautiful to look at. You can't help but appreciate God's work.

5 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'm married, not dead. ;)

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Hell yeah!! Married, not dead.

4 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Ohhhhh yes! As long as I don't act on it -what's the harm? I've even had a few crushes. Again, as long as I don't try to follow through on them -it's kind of nice to look forward to morning drop off or your kid's soccer game or going to work...gives you an extra "spring" in your step!

And in response to Angela S. above -geeeez, we're 42, not 82! I still notice men giving me the eye sometime -and it's a thrill, and I certainly notice good looking men. We're in the prime of our lives -not some old, stodgy women!

3 moms found this helpful

N.A.

answers from Chicago on

Of course! And yes it's normal! lol....I am happily married to a wonderful man whom I love dearly but nothing is wrong in thinking another male is cute and so on. If men can think like that then why can't we? Its purely innocent and normal!

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from Houston on

You bet! I can read the menu I just don't order!! :)

3 moms found this helpful

N.G.

answers from Dallas on

No, I really don't. A guy has to be EXCEPTIONALLY hot for me to notice his hotness, and even then, I'll just think, "Oh, he's pretty hot," and then that will be the end of it. I don't know if I'm normal or you are! LOL!

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.D.

answers from Dallas on

Notice to appreciate - yes. Notice and be attracted too? Only once - and that was an ex who became a coworker after I was married.

You dont have a "thought police" inside your head. All kinds of crazy stuff can pop in there!

3 moms found this helpful

A.G.

answers from Dallas on

Of course! My husband notices women, too, and we talk about the people we notice sometimes. We've been happily married for 18 years (next month), but I always notice an attractive man. :)

*I love the "thought-police" reference! I'm teaching 1984 to my seniors right now!!

3 moms found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Of course I do and my hubby notices beautiful women as well.

We are not dead... I like it when I get noticed as well. It does not mean I'm going to run jump in the sack with someone though.

We know each other's types and will often point them out to each other. We are human beings.... I could not live my life thinking I was to never look at another man and I know hubby is just like me in that regard... we'll both always look... you don't have to act on it.

3 moms found this helpful

D.F.

answers from El Paso on

Oh good yes I look. Lol! Most times I joke with my husband about it. But I dont think its bad to just look.

3 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.B.

answers from Boston on

Of course! We're married, not dead. My husband even knows "my type" and will point out a crush-worthy guy to me. I do the same for him - he's head over heels for the mother of the new girl in one of my sons' classes. It's funny to see him talk to her because he gets all tongue tied (she looks like Sofia Vergara so I'm sure she's used to it LOL).

3 moms found this helpful

S.K.

answers from Denver on

oh yeah I notice other guys. I think its very similar to asking married men if they notice other women. Its human nature. I too also wonder what kind of husband/bf they would be. If they are good fathers.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.L.

answers from San Diego on

I may be late on this but I believe all woman notice a good looking man when they see one, as well I believe all men notice a pretty woman when they see on, it's when it tunes into staring or ogling that were in trouble. J.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.T.

answers from Muncie on

Yup, I still have eyes. :) Can't turn off instinct, but you can control it. You can look and admire, but once you start trying to touch, BIG NO NO. We look with our eyes, not with our hands.

2 moms found this helpful

M.P.

answers from Minneapolis on

oh yes.. for me it physical attraction nothing more. I never get beyond that. I notice if a guy is "my type" from looking. I notice my crushes are getting progressively younger :( maybe I am just sick.... nothing will replace my husband as of now lol

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Of course I notice! But I don't ever wonder what kind of bf or husband they would make. I just enjoy the eye candy.

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.M.

answers from Detroit on

Totally! Being married doesn't automatically shut off human nature.
ETA: So you don't feel abnormal amid all the "just lookers" ;) -- Yes I also imagine/fantasize what life would be like with them, etc. Still seems normal to me!

2 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

That's a roger...and a bill, and a chris...I'm kidding of course.
Yes, I do notice other fellas, but if they notice me back then I run away. LOL

2 moms found this helpful

☼.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I'm only human ... of course!

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I notice who is good looking, girls and guys. I was also the one who always had to find the guy to crush on right away in any new situation :) Just for fun you know!
Zero interest in trying to flirt or anything, and the thought of kissing someone else grosses me out! But I evaluate how good-looking a person is and whether I would like them or not all the time.

2 moms found this helpful

K.A.

answers from San Diego on

Absolutely! I am married, I am not dead or blind! My husband and I both notice attractive people around us. We both have our "celebrity crushes" etc. In the end, we go home with each other and no one else. We look but do not touch.
I think it's perfectly healthy. We've been married almost 17 years and together almost 20. We're extremely happy!

2 moms found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from San Diego on

Absolutely I still notice guys!!! I love my husband and still think he's pretty darn gorgeous, but definately enjoy noticing a nice looking man, or noticing a nice looking man who keeps himself in shape. I'm not after a fling, but noticing is normal and ok.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.B.

answers from Washington DC on

You see, I married my dream guy. I swear. I married the guy I found the very most attractive. BUT, it wasn't just that, that was the initial attraction. we happen to get along very well in every aspect.

I actually DON'T notice other men- in a "I think he's hot" kinda way. Imagine the hottest guy you could think of in your mind, and you being married to him and you are in love, he's an awesome husband and father... if YOU already had THE guy, then would you still "look" at other men? Well, my answer is "no". What is there to see when your husband already has them "beat" in your mind? Other guys? eh! I don't even find the "sexy" celebrities hot. LOL.

Not bragging, it is just how I see it. He's just seriously my kind of hottie in every way, and I get to sleep next to him every night! *SIGH* LOL:)

Known him for 16 years, been married for 10 years, and have 4 kids together.... and I STILL get butterflies when I just think of him. How's that? Pretty damn awesome, if you ask me! In my mind, it really is all about him. Lucky guy. Lucky wife...

I was in a long term relationship(3 1/2 years) before hubby. The guy I was with was attractive, but OH MY, did I notice other men-especially thinking they were hotter, and honestly, I was NOT very happy in the relationship anyways.... So I have in the past "noticed" and "imagined" before...

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.T.

answers from Victoria on

yes. but i dont imagine what kind of husband he would be or bf. that makes me ill when guys KNOW i am married and flirt or test the boundarys. i am actually discusted with them and then find them repulsive.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.P.

answers from Seattle on

It's human nature to notice other people! I still notice guys who are attractive, it's only natural, and I am not going to go past that.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.J.

answers from Dallas on

Occasionally when I am not worrying about what my kids are doing, running off, etc if there is an attractive guy around of course I notice. I am happily married too. Guys are the same way! They will take notice of an attractive woman, it's human nature. I was with my youngest after taking LO to the eye doctor and noticed a cute guy at Subway sandwich shop - we stopped there for lunch. Anyway, the girl working at the Subway sandwich shop had to clean up a spill on the floor close to where the cute guy was sitting, and she knocked over the mop bucket! I thought it was kind of cute because she was too busy noticing the guy & knocked over the mop bucket.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

Z.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I work at a day care center and we have one REALLY hot looking dad who brings in his little guy. All of us secretly oogle over him. He looks like he belongs on the cover of a mens magazine. Oh and boy does he smell good. Not sure if he puts it on his son too or if it rubs off but Mmmmmmm. Always fun to look. He's married quite happily it seems like too to also a very nice looking woman.

1 mom found this helpful

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

I am human and I have eyes and emotions that work so, yes.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

You would not be human if you didn't. Just because you are married doesn't mean you can't look. A nice looking man is just that -- something to think about and then go home and have fun with hubby. He might wonder where the desire came from but at least you do have yours at home to have fun with.

Just because you are married doesn't mean you are dead. I look at younger men and think but I am old enough to be mom or grandma many times.

Like that song as the last dance - remember in whose arms you are going to be when you go home.

The other S.

-

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.J.

answers from Seattle on

Totally! And why not? I'm not looking at them lustfully, and I think my husband is attractive. But it is natural and normal to find other people attractive, men and women alike. The harm comes in doing something about it! I don't care if my husband notices attractive women either, I'm the one he comes home to! I'd be more worried if he didn't notice attractive people.

1 mom found this helpful

T.V.

answers from Nashville on

The unit I work with in the Army is predominatly male.. so yep,I definitely look! As far as thinking if theyd make good hubbys,ect..ewwwww noooo,theyre all disgusting..like brothers! But any guy at the mall is fair play... lookings fun..Lol..so glad I'm normal..

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.G.

answers from Chicago on

Love my hubby, but, ummmm, yeah!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.K.

answers from Albuquerque on

I notice men and women both in passing. Just like the comparison to art below, that is how I view things. I like to look at what looks good, that doesn't mean I want to have it.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Yep! Married 15 years and still know what a good looking man looks like. I do have a bit of a problem with styles, so when the huge sagging style was going on, I thought men looked pathetic.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.D.

answers from Detroit on

I'm sure you're normal, lol. Honestly, I don't really notice other men too much. I might think a man is cute upon meeting him, but then quickly forget about that. IDK, I have my mind on other things... like it's constantly going. I am happily married too. Seriously, you sound pretty normal.

1 mom found this helpful

C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

day to day, I don't really pay much attention when I'm out and about. I'm too busy thinking about what I need to get done and making sure my kids don't run off. I DO have some movie star crushes though :) Channing Tatum for one, lol!

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.N.

answers from New York on

Of course i do. i even comment to my husband, more so than what i actually think. what i actually think is wow than god i found my husband, great soul, great human being, great father, and awesome husband. i really hit the jackpot.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

Is ok to look I mean every one do it is nothing wrong what that but make it to obvious

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.M.

answers from Omaha on

I notice other guys. Only features of them though. like o he is cute. But the only one that can make me crank my head so far back i feel like its going to break is the bf.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.G.

answers from Portland on

I notice if someone is nice looking but it goes no further then that. I got all of the curiosity out of my system BEFORE I got married. I have always said that if I wondered things like that about someone other then my husband then it is time to get divorced.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions