Meal Time Terrors....ARGH HELP!!!!

some of the little souls coming in want to be vegetarian. i know that sounds odd. try giving him raw organic vegies (they are sweet) either juiced or made digestible in cuisenart/blender. or some beans or chickpeas.

also the juice and meat of young coconuts has been given to babies for eons.

good luck!

A.

Hi, I agree with what has been said: It is a phase and you will get through it! Decide what you are feeding him, let him choose to eat or not, and then move on to the next activity. Foods that were really appealing to my 11 month old when he was learning to feed himself were cut up cooked sweet potatoes, avocados, and garbonzo and kidney beans that I would squash slightly before I gave them to him, and hummus spread on bread. We were so limited to things that he liked, that now, he doesn't care much for any of those foods, but that is okay, now that he is 20 months, we have many other options.

And remember, it has only been a month! Don't make it a battle...he will eat when he is hungry. Also, if my children ask for a snack not long after a meal, I offer them the same food as the meal...no skipping a meal and getting a granola bar instead! (or gold fish, crackers, etc.)

Hang in there!

Hi, I'm sorry to hear that he is not eating much. Maybe he is not ready yet. I would continue what you have been doing before you have introduced him the table foods. It is ok to keep giving him baby foods or whatever else you've been giving him before table foods were introduced to him. He is not even a year old yet. Give it time and he'll eventually eat it. You can try eating it in front of him and maybe he'll want some that you're eating. I wouldn't keep pushing it to give him table foods. Good luck!

Hi,
Your situation sounds frustrating - both to you and your son. I would try to lighten the mood a little bit when it comes to meal time. Why not change it up a little once in awhile? What would he do if you put 3 or 4 food choices on his tray while you just walked around the kitchen talking to him (acting like you're busy doing other things?) I wonder if he might start exploring different foods on his own if he felt like it was his idea. Or he would probably think it was really fun to sit on a tablecloth on the kitchen floor with lots of food choices in front of him. Of course, he might need a bath afterwards! Let him think he is choosing what he wants to eat and act like whatever he wants is great. If you don't make a big deal out of it, he probably won't get so upset. Plus, I think it will change his attitude too if you have a positive and encouraging attitude about what he is eating. Also, respect the fact that he may be full or just isn't into a particular food at this moment. I gave my son lots of choices (of course they were all really what I would want him to eat anyway) and never put any pressure on him and he is a great eater. Good luck.

My son's pediatrician recommended a phenomenal book about feeding kids while helping them create a healthy relationship with food. It's called "Child of Mine" by Ellyn Satter. I cannot recommend it highly enough. A nutritionist who visited my son's preschool also recommended this book. The author explains why we should not do a lot of what we naturally seem to do (because we are just doing what we saw as kids), such as negotiating (if you eat item X, then you can have item Y, which is your favorite), manipulating the order in which children eat foods (implies that some foods are special as opposed to foods being fuel for the body), becoming a short order cook because we're worried that our kids aren't eating enough, asking kids to eat more even after they say they're full, etc. The author also gives excellent info on what to expect at different ages, from baby on up. This book is a lifesaver!

My son was difficult to feed around this age too. The issue was he wanted to feed himself, but most foods were either too hard for him to manipulate with his hands or too tough for him to chew. He was incredibly frustrated and so was I! What I ended up doing was feeding him soft foods cut into small cubes (baked/steamed fruits/veggies/tofu/meatloaf/bread etc) We called it his "cubist" period LOL!
As for the throwing, nip it in the bud! When he does that, calmly say "I see your not hungry right now" Take the food away and take him out of the chair. He won't starve himself!

I didn't read all the replies, but don't rule out teeting. Teething is such a variable for most mom's and we forget. I've also found each tooth is a different reaction.

Are you giving him what the family is eating? He is coming to the age where he notices others and what they are up to especially in dining settings. He may feel left out, or what your eating is better than what he is eating.
I swore I would have my child sit with us to eat, but he goes through phases. Sometimes he sits well, and other times I put his food in a snack-trap cup and let him go. He'll come back.

Is he getting ready to walk? Kids hyperfocus on new skills and he may just be frustrated.
Don't worry, you are doing everything right. Let him get down from the table sometimes. They can only take about 15-20 min at the chairs.

Don't take the screaming as "at" you personally, kids scream out of frustration and they have NO communication skills yet. Imagine if you couldn't talk about your feelings...He is just communitcating his frustration. I am sure you want to fix it, and you will. Just let him know you understand back off. I have been trying lots of things, and sometimes they work and sometimes not. No biggie. Lately I set his food in the cup down on the floor, and he comes back for it later. I guess it's a control thing. He does eat - but on his own terms. There is plenty of time to teach him table manners! hee hee.

Best of luck!

I would have to guess that you are giving him something during the day for a snack. Something that you did not mention in your post! You did not mention if you are still nursing or giving bottles. If he is eating reasonably for breakfast, it is because he is hungry from the night of sleep. It is good that he can recognize hunger, and that should tell you that he does recognize it. He is only 11 months old, so it really depends on if he is getting bottles or being breast fed too.

If you want him to start with solids, I would make sure he is not getting anything and I repeat not ANYTHING during the day (between meals). When lunch comes, give him one thing at a time. Start with the meat. Only give him what he will eat. Start with one very small piece of meat, when that is gone, give him the next food like veggies, but only one piece. After he has had enough meat and veggies offer him the fruit. He will not starve and you will be teaching him food control. Our society seems to want our kids to be eating all the time. (not good) If you do this for one week, he will start to look forward to each meal time. But it is up to you. It will be hard because you have allowed him to pick and choose for himself what he wants. He needs your help in knowing what his body needs. Do not give him choices at this age. He does not know what his growing body needs. He should have only one choice in front of him at a time.
Remember:
1. One piece of meat - until gone
2. One piece of veggies - until gone
3. Repeat the meat and veggies three times before going to step 4
4. Now give him what he craves, the fruit.
Remember nothing in between meals.

If we as parents put a cupcake, beans, meat, and peaches in front of our kids to let them choose what they wanted to eat, and then became angry when they picked the peaches or cupcake, would it be their fault? No it is our fault. Children under the age of 5 will need our help for all their nutritional choices. Don't offer what you don't want them to eat!

Good luck
L.

It sounds like he's not that interested in food, and that he doesn't understand why he's strapped in a chair while someone pokes food into his face. Maybe he doesn't associate eating with hunger yet.

Would it make sense to back off completely? Serve yourself a meal while he's free in the room. Assuming he walks or cruises, let him come to you for a bite when he's interested. You can even chew food for him and then take it out of your own mouth and offer it to him. (I know that sounds gross, but it's what people do in cultures where there aren't jars of food in the grocery store...and since babies imitate their parents, it might be an effective way to teach him.)

All the other components of mealtime socialization, such as sitting at the table, using a fork, focussing on food, will come over time. Right now, it seems like you just want to peak his interest in food without entering a power struggle. If he's going to fight food, let the fight stay between him and his appetite, rather than between him and his mom!

My own personal bias is away from 'kid friendly food' because they tend to get stuck there. If you can get away with it, just serve yourself what you usually eat, and offer him that.

Best of luck! Things will change no matter what because he is a growing boy!

Try giving him interesting flavors. At 11 months, he should be eating everything you do. Try savory stuff, meatloaf, chinese food, Mexican, Lasagna was a favorite for my kid. Try to surprise him with the new flavors. I'd spit out toast too.

My lactation consultant works with transitioning to solids and she does internet consults for $75. (She lives in LA). I just hired her again for weaning. She is great! She has some great handouts and suggestions about introducing new foods and letting your baby try them at his own pace. No forcing. Let him make a mess. Doe she have a lot of teeth? If not, you ,may want to puree still - less chunky. Maybe that will stop him from storing and spitting out. Make sure he is hungry at mealtime and hasn't snacked too much prior. You want him hungry. Also make sure he is not overtired. Perhaps you need to move meal time to an earlier hour. Let me know if you want my lactation consultant's number. Good Luck!

When our daughter was a toddler, she needed to eat earlier. By time we had dinner, she was beyond hungry and fussy. I started feeding her on her schedule.

As for throwing food, not okay in our house. When she tossed food, she was done with dinner. Again, that went away when she ate when she was hungry and not fussy.

I offered a lot of choices over and over again. I put it on her plate and let her pick. She did the chipmunk thing too. Ignore it.

Don't force the child to eat. Offer and let it be. Children are great regulators. Then know when to stop.

My daughter, who is 7, goes through phases where she is a chow hound, eats all day long. She's growing and her body wants fuel. Right now, she's not eating a lot. In fact, she's snacking more and mealing less. She knows what her body needs and I'm going with it, even though I'd like to see more food go in. I'm riding this out.

Stephanie

Sounds like a phase. I have an 11 month old also and she can throw fits too. I would just feed him the food he likes, give him formula or breast milk. If he barely has a tooth it could be teething. Back off a little bit on the introducing new food and feed him what you know he will eat. Let him enjoy meal time again and then start over.He will start to eat other foods again, this is normal. This also won't be the first time something like this happens. My 3 year old would only eat mac-n-cheese for 1-2 weeks. I resorted to sneaking in puree's of carrots and sweet potatoe to vary his diet. (He didn't notice because it matched in color) Good luck, I hope it gets easier.

The best thing to do for mealtime issues and toddlers is to realize that kids will ALWAYS eat when they are hungry - and to stop giving snacks in between meals if the child does not eat at mealtimes. Do not worry if your child skips a meal here and there - they are totally fine. Otherwise it turns into a big battle of wills.
If your child does not want to eat, tell them fine, but the kitchen is 'closed' until the next mealtime - they will get hungry, and just have them wait (maybe 3 hours)and then they will eat.
Our country has so much abundance and tons of food that is too sugary or refined, and I think a parent should never ever force a kid to eat - it sends the wrong message about food - and sometimes you as an adult don't feel like eating, sometimes your child feels the same way.

Good luck!

First, you have to know that he won't starve to death if he misses a meal.

Second, it seems like he has found you "button".

Third, he definately could be teething, and address that as others have suggested.

Don't engage him. Put the food in front of him and if he doesn't eat it within a reasonable amount of time then say, ok, guess you aren't hungry and try again next mealtime. If he seems to want a snack then tell him he has to wait until the next mealtime.

Do not put any emotion or energy behind your responses and make them matter of fact, this is how it is now.

He'll figure it out and eat if he is hungry and not eat if he isn't.

Not only will he learn to pay attention to his body and only eat when he is hungry, thus avoiding unhealthy eating patterns, he will learn that you say what you mean and it isn't personal, it's just the family rules.

He is pretty tiny and he already knows how to get you going. The best advice I ever got was to pick you battles and then win them -so the child knows that when you pick a battle, you will win a battle and when it is important and you are going to battle for it, they know they can't win, so there won't be the struggles for the important stuff (ok, there may be, but they aren't as bad). But you can't win EVERY battle, so don't fight them all.

One thing to remember is that your child's appetite and growth slows around age one. I've been told it is normal for them to become more choosy about foods. My son went through this a little later, but I definitely can relate. One thing I noticed for myself was that I was feeding him too often. He wasn't really hungry, so he was playing or throwing food. Now I give him a selection of 2 or 3 items on a plate, including one thing I know he likes. If he has a fuss, then I take him out of the chair and try again in an hour or so. On the other hand, if you think your son is falling apart because he is too tired, try feeding him a little earlier. It is tricky, but I try not to get in a power struggle over food.

honestly, he will eat when he is hungry. My daughter (2 yearsold ) does and did the same thing. I will finally find something she likes and will eat and the next week she wont eat it. She will go days where i dont think she is eating enough or anything healthy then all of a sudden she is eating everything in front of her. I continue to try new things but i dont push the issue. Because i know she will not starve. I would also start giving more solid foods. My daughter would not eat any baby food or toddler foods, she did not like them at all. My your son doesnt like them either.

Hi,
I feel sorry for all the young/new moms nowadays, you are bombarded with so much advice about exactly what and how much food your child should be eating at every age and stage. You must feel like you're doing something wrong if your child is not soing what they are "supposed" to be doing.
Nutrition is important, but so is a healthy attitude towards food and eating.
I hope you'll consider my advice from someone who's been through it three times over...
First of all, stop trying to feed him so much. Just keep offering the healthy variety that you are. Let him pick and choose from small amounts. Imagine how you would feel if at every meal someone was trying to stuff into your mouth things you didn't want to eat, you'd probably react the same way!
He must still be getting either breast milk or formula at this point so he is being nourished.
My son (now 15) didn't eat solids until about 14 months and up until the age of 4 was EXTREMELY picky. For about a year I swear he lived on wheat bread, cheese and fruit. But he was healthy, strong and smart so I let it go. My two girls (now 9 and 13) weren't big on solids until about 12 months, and although they weren't as picky as my son they definitley went through their periods of "difficulty" including times they didn't want to eat at all!
Oh, and my kids never drank milk, they didn't really like it. They would have it on cereal, in oatmeal, etc. but that's it.
Relax, enjoy and good luck!

Is he getting his molars? or teething He will eat when he is hungry I think my daughter lived on soda crackers for a couple of months around that age. Make sure he gets vitamins Put his food on his high chair a little at a time and if he still has bottles cut back on them so he will eat food If he is satisfied with bottles he does not need "real food" And dont make a big deal out of it if he refuses let him down from the table and let him roam

Hi there,

Oh, you sure do have your hands full! Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. I can completely relate. My little one has been so hard to deal with at the table, too.

I don't have time to read the other responses you've gotten so far, but here's my advice. Don't force him to eat or to eat certain foods. It is a battle you will loose and will only cause more negative associations with food and meal times. I don't mean long-term, like you are going to scar him or anything, just that in the short-term you are going to keep having the same struggle.

My daughter stopped eating from 8-10 months and only breast fed. I offered her food every day and was so upset and worried that she wouldn't eat. But she's just fine (she's 18 months now). She often goes through these eating strikes, and I don't understand why. But she's happy and healthy so I am trying to relax about it. My pediatrician just gave me this link, but I haven't checked it out yet: www.baby-led.com

I'm trying to adopt the philosophy that she just won't starve herself. If she's hungry, she'll eat. I will only offer her healthy food, but if she only eats some of the things I offer, then that will have to be good enough. It's our job to offer different things, and keep trying new things, but that's all we can do. I really believe that if a baby is hungry s/he will eat anything. Also, if he doesn't eat a balanced meal every time, or even every day, then look at the entire week. If he eats more fruit one day, protein another, veggies another, etc., then that should be okay.

One last thing, we try to always eat with our daughter. That helps. And she always wants to eat off of my plate, so I put some of her food on it so she will get it that way. Now she's old enough that we actually eat the same things, but your little guy might not be yet. If she doesn't want to eat, we keep her at the table with us, but don't force her.

Try to relax and trust your son that he'll eat when he's hungry. That's what I'm trying to do and it's helping.

Hope this helps you and good luck!

H.

p.s. I forgot to add, if she starts to throw food or silverware, etc., then mealtime is over for her. As much as I want her to eat, she has to learn no to behave like that. I think they can sense how much we want them to eat so they see how far they can take "misbehaving". Or maybe they are just trying to tell us they're done! A bit of playing with food seems to be developmentally normal and helpful to experiment and learn about the texture of food, etc. But that's different from having an attitude and throwing things.

Also, I disagree with what another mommy wrote, let him snack if he wants to. Just make sure they are healthy snacks. As long as he's eating, who cares when it is. You can work on setting meal times when he's older. But that's just my opinion

First off, RELAX!!! Please look at his food intake over the course of a MONTH and not over the course of individual, daily meals. Over the course of a month he is probably getting plenty of all the right foods.

Why have a battle over something you can't win? Babies, and kids, too, get into a routine, just in time for us to figure it out, and then they change on us. So let him. Just give him a little bit of all the healthful foods you normally do, and if he eats, he eats. If he doesn't, then he doesn't. Don't sweat it, he 'll pick up on your frustration. Smile, tell him it's good, to try it, and then stop your interactions. Make the meal pleasant as possible, and totally take away the power struggle. You will see, as you relax and turn this into a non-issue, he will actually experiment and try foods. He'll get his nutritional needs met over the course of an entire month and that will make it easier on you to stop tallying his daily food intake. Don't drive yourself crazy over this. Just relax, Mom.

Several things that I think are important in having a good mealtime with a toddler.
1.- Definitly have them eat at the table when the rest of the family eats... no matter who is 'grossed out' with the messy eating habits of that age group.
2.- Serve tiny (one teaspoonful) portions of each food being served (only eliminate any foods being served the older people that my not be age appropriate for the toddler).
3.- Provide the toddler a small spoon and fork so they can begin to expriment with using those, but also allow them to use their hands to eat..as that's much more comfortable for them at this stage, and they'll tend to eat more.
4.- Calmly (this is hard I know) encourage the toddler to eat some of each item on the plate, then offer more of whatever the child seems to be in the mood to eat at that feeding.
5.- Eliminate any 'empty' foods from the menu. If you are a family that has dessert with meals, start ending the meal, wait half an hour or so, and make dessert a separate special time. That helps the child concentrate on the foods you want him to eat, and not be distracted by the sweets.
Do offer a bread, a meat or meat substitute, one or two veggies (I like to serve one hot and one cold), and one or two fruits.
6.- At eleven months of age I also like to be introducing drinking from a regular (not sippy) cup. If you are at all comfortable with the, serve him about an inch and a half of water in a cup to practice with at mealtime.

The most important thing is to be calm and relaxed, so be sure you are not scheduling things into your life that prevent you allowing at least a half hour of your time to help the toddler eat while you are also getting to eat. Meal time is an important learning time. You are not only feeding the child, but it's a perfect time to introduce manners, neatness (yes, I know that sounds silly when talking about a toddler eating, but I did say 'introduce'. It's a long process), and family togetherness.

uggh, I so remember the throwing everything phase!!! I can laugh now but was so frustrated I'd cry at the time. And I remember preparing food he loved before and today he despises, tough phase. My son became a fruit fan and still is at 3, he prefers it over crummy sweets he might see around, so that's not a bad thing. I would try to go with the flow, does he like to feed himself? It does sound like teething, my kids appetite was really low while they were teething and when they finally break through it comes back. I gave mine a big cold carrot or crisp apple slices to gnaw on, it seemed to help their gums. So for now, I wouldn't push foods on him, offer it and let him eats what he wants and know it's just a phase. There are more and equally frustrating phases to come! But I usually seemed to get a little break between them(=
K.

My hubby & I got frustrated with the food thrown on the floor thing. We actually would have our daughter (now 19 months)help after a meal to "pick up" what she threw down. We were amazed at how she has thrown less food on the floor. Now, she enjoys helping us pick it up & throw what she has accidently thrown on the floor. I hope this helps. I kind of wish we thought of it a lot earlier than we did, but glad that it has gotten a lot better.

hi there
he could very well be teething.. does he drool a lot? also, look inside his mouth, could be a tooth trying to break thru, for some toddlers it's VERY painful... think of when you might have ever had a toothache, well imagine that for a little one.. when your mouth aches, you just don't feel like eating too much... so maybe for now, the softer food is where's it's at..
you may want to check with your doctor if you really feel there is a big problem. Also, keep a journal so that when and if you do go to the doctor, you can reel off what issues your child has been having. (I do this so that I don't forget anything)

good luck to you!!

It may be that he is teething. Morning times are easiest because he's had all night to rest his mouth. As the day progresses, though, his gums may become more and more sore do to normal use. Look inside his mouth. Do the gums appear swolen or red? If so, try rubbing a bit of oragel on his gums 5 minutes before a meal and see if that makes a difference.

Good Luck,
K.