Motorcycles

I would let him do it.
As a mom I would also be worried, but the thing is a lot of boys really enjoy thrilling, high risk activities (motorcycles, skateboarding, skiing/snowboarding, etc.) I think it's better that he learns how to do it now, safely and properly, rather than go out on his own when he's older and cockier. I also think these hobbies and interests, while inherently risky, help keep boys from seeking their thrills in less desirable ways, like drugs and alcohol.

I'd let my son learn. Just keep the bike at Dad's place, never at your place.
Boys need exciting hobbies like that at that age.

I learned how to ride motorcycles at the age of 10. We were out in the desert. There were rules - helmets, boots, long pants. I had TONS of sand around me. yes. I fell off. No. I wasn't seriously hurt. I learned my lesson and didn't do what made me tip, fall, etc. again.

I wouldn't decide against it. I wouldn't let MY FEARS hold my son or children back. And to me? That's what you are doing. You are letting YOUR fears stop your son from learning something.

This is like the mom's who REFUSE to let their kids play football because they don't want them to get hurt. Stuff happens. Can you prevent some of it? yes. But there is also a point where you have to trust your child to make good decisions and learn their limitations!!

GOOD LUCK!!

I'm a biker. I learned to ride on a farm when I was 13. I say let him do it so long as he's wearing a helmet, long sleeves, jeans and boots.

With that being said, I understand how hard it is for you to make this decision. This is one of those times when I think "Heck yeah! Let him learn!"...and then I stop to think of my son (also 14) trying to ride a motorcycle and I think "Um, no. Not gonna happen. You're not mature enough to handle the responsibility." But then I'd let him do it anyway, because seriously, I thought that when he got on a 4-wheeler the first time too.

I've heard of too many people getting hurt on motorcycles, so I'm pretty much against them for any age.

A radio DJ I used to listen to was out for a ride with a group of friends. He said they were just riding together, went around a turn, lost control somehow and laid the bike down. Thankfully he wasn't seriously hurt, but this was an adult who had been riding for years.

I also do NOT trust other drivers - whatever vehicle they may be driving. People don't pay attention these days, and motorcycles are even harder to see on the road.

I guess I wouldn't mind him learning to ride in a remote area, but I would not want him to get his own bike at 15 to ride on the roads with other vehicles. He'd have to wait til I no longer had legal control over him for that!!

I wish my ex would do something cool like this with HIS sons.

:(

My rule is : Not without a racing suit (not a cheap imitation, but full on suit, which is effin expensive, several grand), organ donation card on file, and "spill" lessons (far too many deaths that could be avoided aren't because the ruder was never taught to spill/dump and spread eagle.).

I would let him do it, if he takes lots of lessons and gets lots of practice in a safe area. Much better than the aleternative of him learning from a buddy some night, or learning on his own, without the help of a professional who might train him right. Get him the right training!

I would never ride one and my son will have to wait until he has moved out of my house if he decides to (he is 6 now). They are WAY WAY more dangerous than cars. Plus he is only 14 - not old enough to drive a car - a way safer vehicle.

'According to the U.S. National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), in 2006, 13.10 cars out of 100,000 ended up in fatal crashes. The rate for motorcycles is 72.34 per 100,000 registered motorcycles.[1] Motorcycles also have a higher fatality rate per unit of distance travelled when compared with automobiles. Per vehicle mile traveled, motorcyclists' risk of a fatal crash is 35 times greater than a passenger car.[1] In 2004, figures from the UK Department for Transport indicated that motorcycles have 16 times the rate of serious injuries per 100 million vehicle kilometers compared to cars, and double the rate of bicycles.[2]'

haven't read the other responses but I'll tell you my experience...

first, I hate motorcycles. I've had a friend die and a uncle forever changed b/c of accidents. when i was married, I told my husband that he could NOT get a motorcycle.

Then we got divorced. Within a few months of being divorced, he had a chopper. The idiot rides without a helmet, but thankfully has a huge insurance policy that names me as the beneficiary.

Then my ex decided he wanted to teach our son, who is 7, how to ride a small 50 cc dirt bike. The response of "over my dead body" wouldn't have worked because 1) it's within his legal rights as a parent 2) it would make him determined to do it more. So I replied with, "only if he has the top of the line protective gear on at all times." That was already a part of Ex's plan.

It's now 7 months later and I dislike motorcycles just as much as I did before. Oddly enough, my son is REALLY good. I shouldn't be surprised since he got rid of his training wheels at 3. Him and his dad go out to the track every other Sunday where my son rides on a small, kiddo only, track. I've seen him ride twice. Not because I agree but because I love my son and I support his love for riding.

FYI... He is better protected than when I took him skiing this past winter. Not saying he won't get hurt, but I can't keep him from the things he loves in case he might get hurt. I would have to cancel skiing if that were the case. And rock climbing, and cub scout camp, etc, etc, etc.

Anyway, that's my experience.

I like motorcycles.
I let my son ride with his father.

I would not let my son have one at his age (16).

Teens, any new driver, need practice before confronting traffic on 2 wheels.

Get your Ex to teach him how to drive 4 wheels and get him a sturdy little pickup truck when he turns 15. He can buy him the bike when he graduates college.

My main concern is that your ex discussed this with the son without talking to you first.

That said, I do think 14 is awfully young especially if your son has no experience on smaller vehicles. Is he strong enough to manage a bike? Is it legal to ride without a permit? If you do allow it, I think it makes a huge difference whether he's going to be out in traffic or riding on smooth trails. This is a discussion between parents, not something the dad pitches to the kid and then makes the mom be the "bad guy".

Unless he's super mature for his age, no, I wouldn’t let him learn. In my opinion the first problem is a teen is too young to learn to ride and to fully grasp what a motorcycle entails. You can teach the teen the skills but what he or she will lack is the wisdom, maturity and experience to safely make decisions on the motorcycle. The next problem in my opinion is that operating any motorized vehicle has two aspects – control skills and safety – which take time and practice to learn and develop. There will be mistakes and on a motorcycle those mistakes can be costly much more quickly.
Kids experience a learning curve in learning to drive cars. We live near a driving school and on a regular basis we experience novice drivers. It is a stark reminder of how long it really takes to develop solid, safe driving skills. Compound the learning curve aspect with the inherent danger with any moving vehicle and I think there is an unnecessary level of danger created by introducing a motorcycle into the mix. If you can’t even safely, reliably control a car, what business do you have on a motorcycle? As my husband said right before he sold his motorcycle, “After nearly 20 years behind the wheel, I don’t worry about my skills and abilities. I worry about all the other drivers around me. It’s not a risk I am willing to take any more.”

Ideally with motorcycles your son will be learning early, gaining experience early, and being taught properly via an adult with the proper equipment. A great theory but I think you would only be kidding yourself. The reality is most young adults, especially young men, have no sense of risk management and helping them develop skills doesn’t negate that. They think they are indestructible so all those fine early lessons you thought you were instilling in him will develop his false sense of security instead. Just because he learned how to ride properly doesn't mean he is going to use that good judgment around his buddies who are going to supposedly to teach him to ride behind your back or to encourage him to do crazy things in spite of his better judgment. To me this is not about your fears hindering your son. This is about your experience and wisdom as a mother and adult guiding your son in making the best decisions for him at this age.

As for real life experiences we had an acquaintance who was a motorcyclist for over 25 years. Super cautious, super safe - the poster child of safe motorcycle driving. One night on the way home from work a thunderstorm hit and he was sideswiped by someone in a Tahoe who never even braked after hitting him. Presumably they didn’t see him. He crashed into a retaining wall and had to call emergency services on his cell phone. He was on a jurisdictional line and couldn’t get an ambulance out to his location – one service refused to go there because it wasn’t clear which ambulance service operated in that area. He had to tie his belt around his bleeding leg and attend to his injuries as best he could. By the time he was picked up he was nearly dead and eventually his leg had to be amputated. Then we had another friend who was also a lifelong motorcyclist with similar credentials. He was sideswiped during his lunch hour by a service truck. The truck driver claimed to never see him. That friend was in the hospital for a good long while which was super stressful on his pregnant wife. Then how about that motorcyclist we recently passed on the left shoulder of the highway? He had shredded jeans and a shredded jacket. We saw a lot of bloody red meat as we rubber necked. He was propped up against the dividing wall and was being attended to by an army of paramedics. His motorcycle was two hundred yards down the highway on the right. Or the other fellow who was under the pickup truck with his bike? The list goes on. It is grisly and costly when mistakes happen on motorcycles.

It’s not that people can’t get hurt in cars. They can and do. There are plenty of fatalities and terrible injuries in cars. My issue is the stakes are so much greater on a motorcycle and I think the driver needs to be fully aware of that added danger and complexity before deciding to ride. I have been on motorcycles. They move so much faster than you realize. It’s scary, exhilarating and dangerous which doesn’t sound like a combination I want an immature young adult biting off. Teens make poor decisions in cars and it is not going to get instantly better with better instruction on motorcycles.

100% agree with you. I am totally against my family owning a motorcycle. It's not safe because of the people you're riding on the roads with. Especially because, we live in S.Florida and a lot of older people live here. Too dangerous...
Also, my dad almost died on one. He hit a tree while he was riding it in the rain (it started raining) and was in the hospital/rehabilitation center for almost 6 months. He's never been the same again. That was 25 years ago.

Check your state laws. Some states require motorcyclists to take official classes before getting licensed.

I will NEVER ride on a motorcycle, even with a helmet and all the appropriate gear. My husband's seen far too many severe head trauma deaths in the ER for either of us to ever use them.