My Ex-husband Is Trying to Take My 4Yr Old Out of State

I would suggest legal help...I don't believe a child can be taken over state lines.....I wouldn't let him go...how do you know he will bring him back?

My heart goes out to you....yikes!

Good luck....look up Bill Handel at KFI640.com....he has a registry of lawyers...can call for free legal I believe...

P.

The only person you should be asking advice from is a lawyer! Most people that offer legal advise are incorrect or just say things they saw on TV. I know lawyers are expensive but your son is worth it! Good Luck!

I agree with everyone else - stop communicating with him and get an attorney. Good luck!

Get a good lawyer ASAP. Say no to anything out of state.
Good luck.
B. v O.

**You NEED to print-out ALL the e-mails he has sent you, from as far back as you can go. I hope you kept all the e-mails he sent you, or any other things, ie: "evidence"... and that YOU are DOCUMENTING everything & anything for yourself too... for your case and backing yourself up. AND, write down to the best of your memory... all about his drug & alcohol problems, AND anything to do with that, AND how he wanted NOTHING to do with you or your son when you got Divorced in 2007 and how he left the State etc.

He is using ALL your e-mails, as "evidence" for his case and against yours.
I hope you realize that.
That is why he refuses to talk on the phone to you.
He wants written proof of whatever you say. He is building HIS "case" against you every single day, by e-mail correspondence. and cornering you. Very dangerous.

You have to get a Lawyer NOW.

He "claims" to be off drugs & alcohol.... try to get PROOF.
AND, perhaps his "history" or drugs and alcohol will deem him an unfit parent. You GOTTA try anything. Because that is what HE is doing... doing anything he can, to build a case AGAINST you and for HIM. Thus, his claim that he is "off" drugs and alcohol.

First of all save and print all e-mails from you your ex husband, also save any and all texts, One of my daycare parents had this exact problem, her husband is from Puerto Rico and had threaten many times to take their 4 year old daughter their, so my daycare mom and it written in the custody papers that the child can not be taken out of state with out a written request and a written response. call your attourney and see what your options are and have that clause in written in your file by your attourney. If you do not share custody, and he takes the child acctoss state lines, it's kidnap. Go for order to keep the visitations in this state, because your child is only 4 that should not be a problem. If the courts have his drugs and alchol use all documented which I'm sure they do, the courts will not let him take the child out of state. Call your attourney first thing in the morning, and remember keep and print all e-mails, and texts from him, In the mean time just keep your son with you, if he attends daycare or pre school make sure you give them something in writing that states the father is not to take the child from the facility. In the of the 12 years i have done daycare I have had at least 3 moms in your situation, and in all 3 cases it ended good. So try and relax, and call your attourney first thing in the morning, I'm am almost possitive that your husband can mot leagaly take your child out of the state. You will probably get a lot of good advice ok so hang in there. J. L.

First, brace yourself. What you fear is likely accurate. I don't mean you can't survive, I mean you need to be very strong for your son. You note the father has not shown care or concern for his son for several years, so I imagine there is a lack of an emotional attachment between the father and his young son. This is generally required by state law to excercise full equal rghts to parent a child. If the father left the state, then I would infer he has performed minimally to no parenting functions in the course of his child's life. This is also generally a legal requirement that could restrict time or decision making. You'll want to document your timeline and how your son got care. Be sure the father cannot show that you have tried to restrict his care of his son, and you want to be sure you have encouraged this realationship between father and son. It would be best if you had documented evidence of his drug use, prior crimial behavior, job stability, time he actaully spent with his son, occurrances, length of, and period between and calendar time he maintained the relationship. If you see a lawyer right away, you'll need money. The more you have the easier it will be for you to have the final outcome be what you want.

Family court proclaims to be interested in the best interest of the children, but I have found this to be mostly an empty mission. Family court's apparent real objective is to perpetuate their existence and even increase the number of necessary paid personnel including lawyers, guardian ad litems, parent evaluators, mediators, facilitators, parent helpers, paralegals, and Judges as well as support staff to keep the machine.

It is important to consider the Order in place covering the residental schedule. It sounds like there may not be one that allows your son to spend extended time with his father out of the state. If it doesn't and he petitions for this change, unless you have documented evidence that he is not able to care for his son then he will likely get it.

Bottom line: I suggest you figure out what you think would be acceptable in your view as this child's mother. This is the first step. If the answer is one night every other week, fine. If its 2 weeks, fine. YOU KNOW BEST.

Once you have this, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise, you can interview attorneys to find one that believes you know what is best for your child as the only expert in this childs life. If the attorney is not on board with what you know is best, seek another consult. The choice of attorney is the single most important factor in this. Pick someone that tells you to your face, and you believe, that he/she agrees with your suggested residential time and he/she will do anything possible to get the Judge to agree it is in the best interest of your son to create a schedule as you suggest that will support what is in the best intereset of this child. Make sure the attorney also believes that you absolutely do support your son's relationship with his father, and have no ill will or desire for any form of retaliation over your past relationship with the father. You only want what is best for your son as the primary residential parent and only one for most of the child's life To do this you suggest keeping the child in the stable, consistent environment in which he has thrived. Extended residential time could be considered if the relationship, previously non existent, develops into something you feel comfortable is good for your son.

i am not sure, but I suspect your ex husband's desire to be with his son is related to his financial responsibility. Just a hunch. This is fine, and he has a right to parent his son. BUT, be sure you are clear that your number one priority is what is in the best interest of you child, and it is the only thing that matters, not money, not your time with him. You want your son to have what he needs to grow into a self confident, decent man who can make informed choices about life and that includes knowing what a healthy relationship is and the boundaries of such.

I also think what is often understated: a child doesn't have to live with someone to love them deeply or to know someone loves them. The child knows this by how they feel when the person calls, whether the person seems to care about what they are doing every day, if the person asks what they might need, or desire, and then following up to help or find out how things are going, the child will feel loved and ca form a strong relationship with the person, father or interested adult.

So, if you determine that your husband is going to file, find an attorney quick. What I suggest is you make the search for an attorney a high priority and if needed take time off work to find the person who truly believes YOU know what is best for your son and will commit to fighting for this result. I am positive that you know what is best for your son, but no one in family court cares about what you think and no one in family court really cares about your son or you or the father - please believe me. They only care about how they can make money or maintian power and control. So, its crucial to have a legal advocate that you trust to act on your behalf. This may seem overstated, and you may think any attorney you hire is supposed to act on you behlaf, but let me tell you from experience, there are many attorneys, seemingly educated and appearing to care and want to represent you, as long as you have money, but they are just going through the motions (no pun intended) and if things get sticky, or seem more difficult than doing nothing, they won't have your back. You must have someone you instinctually know based on multiple interviews, is going to back you up and fight for your right to parent your son because he is completly in line with your suggestions for what is in the best interest of your child. Without this, you are in for a long traumatic ordeal, and protecting a 4 year old from it will not be possible.

Last, the power is to keep supporting your son to trust himself, firmly know you love him, you value everything he is inside and out, and you want him to be in a stable and safe environement so he can grow up to make good choices that support his values. If you do that, no matter what happens, and things may be painful, he will eventually speak for himself and then your job gets easier and you can just support his beliefs, support him to speak so his voice is heard, that is how he reclaims his rights, his right to have consistent love and care regardless of who he is biologically related. No one can deny his voice forever, no one will be able to ignore him once he is aware of his own power to decide his fate. You can help him get there. Never deny his gut feelings, or yours. They are right and they will keep you connected to him always. I'm sorry this is happening.

If your ex husband has never had any visitation with your son until now and has had drug problems in the past you can ask the court to mandate that he get drug tested (be aware that he can also request that YOU get drug tested) before he is allowed to see him. You can also say that since you have no idea what his living arrangements are that you do not know if it is a safe place for your child to visit. You also need to stress that he has had no want to have anything to do with your child until recently which concerns you. Make sure you make this ALL about the welfare of your son and not that you yourself are uncomfortable with it. The court will know that since you are there asking for your ex to not be allowed to take him. Go to local court where you got your divorce as they often have paralegal's there or lawyers that can help you complete the forms that you need to file to get this going for free. Until he has something from the court, he has no right to take your son anywhere, especially out of state. Make sure to ask the judge when you are in court what rights you have in the state where he is taking your son or if you feel that he is a rick for not returning your son tell the judge that and be prepared to explain yourself. I feel for you as my ex husband lives out of state and I am not sure what I would do if he asked to have him come visit. I send you many happy thoughts!! I have a family friend who is a paralegal that specializes in family law that helped me with my divorce & child custody. She is a very kind woman and knows her stuff!! If you want her info, let me know.

It depends on the court order.What does the court order say about custody and visitations? If it isn't in a court order, he cannot do it. Also, he can't just happen to do anything the spur of the moment-Everything must be in the court orders

Call a lawyer. Like, yesterday. Seriously. It is possible to stop this, but you really need a good lawyer in your corner fighting for you.

Good luck.

If you can hire a lawyer good luck A. no hills

Hello, I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. Do you have any proof of his prior drug use? If so, I would petition the court to have him drug tested. This is in the best interest of your son. I would make sure that the order states that he is not to take your son out of the state. In most cases, he would not even be able to take him out of the county without a prior grant from the court. Unfortunately, he may be able to get the grant. Make sure that when you petition family court that you always mention that what you are asking for is in the best interest of your son. That is the only thing the court should be interested in. If he has had prior arrests due to drug use, you will probably be able to get the court to work with you. However, if he hasn't, I don't know how it will work. They will probably want to transition him to longer visits, by starting with an overnight to longer.
Good luck with your precious son.
K. K.

Stop communicating with him and get an attourney ASAP!!!!

Be blessed!

K.

The only way to stop it is to get a lawyer...

If your ex is filing petitions with the court you have to have someone filing for you as well AND if something is filed and you miss your date you are automatically found against.

NEVER deal with the legal system without a lawyer.

Get a lawyer, ASAP and only communicate with him through your attorney. It sounds like your ex-husband is in "documentation mode," meaning that he is preparing physical items to take you to court (letters, emails, etc.) and that is why he doesn't want to talk to you on the phone all of a sudden. It may be hard for your ex to get a judge to believe something you said in a phone conversation, but easy to show him a letter. Do not give him any ammunition! Do not use this critical time to "try to talk sense into him" or fire off a nasty email that he can use against you. You also need to start documenting any communication with him or his new girlfriend, his family, etc. He's doing the right thing by going through the courts. You should, too.

check this website www.LSISinvestigations.com , you can send your question too

I believe it will all depend on what the court orders. You need to find a legal aid or free/low cost legal clinic that has family lawyers available to speak with yout. Check with the court house and local law schools for referrals. What did your divorce documents say about visitation? Did you use a lawyer, if so that is a good place to start for a referral, or to at least ask a few questions. Good Luck.

your ex is building his case and documenting everything. you need to get a lawyer and do the same. The only way the court will not let him take your son out of state is if YOU can prove he is unfit/uncapable or a danger to your son.