My Houseguest Has to go.....how Do I Tell Them?

I agree with the rent idea. Was there an estimate given on how long she would need to stay when she moved in? Remind her of that, "You said you only need a place for a couple of months and it's been 8 months." and go from there. My guess is she is just taking advantage, and being irresponsible (read, lazy). Then give her a time limit and if she passes it move her stuff to the curb. You don't want to hurt the kids, but you're not doing your kids any favors by continuing in this fashion. And yours are your first responsibility. Would it be worth it to you to pay her first months rent someplace just to get her out?

Sounds like you have enough drama, unfortunately, you probably won't be able to avoid additional drama by telling her to leave. But it's something you are going to have to do or else keep being frustrated by her rudeness.
An FYI on the cat thing, if her cat is peeing and pooping it won't be long before your cats start following suit. Cats can be very territorial and once they start urine marking it's very difficult to get them to stop.

Is she paying rent? If so, you may have to go through a formal eviction process to get her out of your home. If she is not required to pay rent, then that may be the answer. If you sit her down and tell her that you think it would be fair for her to start paying you rent, and set a rental amount, she is likely to opt to move out, rather than pay up. Just a thought. I know these solutions are likely to cause drama. But, I honestly don't see a drama free way to go about this. And at least my rent suggestion will shift the focus to you needing help from her to solve a problem, rather than it being about you kicking her out. If she chooses to move, instead of paying rent, the result is still the same....she moves.

we told you wen she brough her 19 year old boyfriend in your house she needed to go! you talk to her about her pet and nothing changed! before you start having problems with your husband you need to tell her she need's to go. sit her down and just talk to her

I agree with what everyone else is saying. If she is working and doesn't have any other place to stay besides your house, all she needs to do is go to a sheltor for a few days and DHS will help her move into a place of her own. Seems as if she likes living off people and not taking responsiblity for herself and her children. I'm sure she needs a reality check anyways, if she has money to go out and have fun then she should have money to take care of her OWN needs, which is providing a house or apartment for her and her kids. Be ferm and don't give in. She has had plenty of time to save money and get here ducks in a row. Good Luck!

Hello,

I can understand your frustration, and without knowing your friend it is hard to say how she may handle it. You need to sit down with her and explain to her you let her come live with you to help out. But it was only temporary, and you need her to find another place to live. That you want your home and family life back. If she gets mad you just tell her that there are place that can assist her in getting a place to live but she has overstayed her welcome and it is time to go. That you are really sorry but you and your husband want your home back.

She will probably get mad but you can't keep allowing her to live there and make you so uncomfortable. It is your home and your life. It is not your job to take care of her. She needs to move on.

Let me know how things go. But you all need to put your foot down.

What if you did some research for her? Maybe she feels overwhelmed with finding her own place and doesn’t know were to start. There are plenty of low-income housing and other shelters available. What if you did a little searching for her and when you sit her down to tell her that it is time for her to get her own place, you already have a few suggested places for her to look at. She most likely will be upset that you want her out, there is little that you can do about it. But if you give her some flyers/phone numbers to call, maybe she will feel that you do still care. And give her a deadline; what ever you feel comfortable with, but she must have a set time that can not be pushed back to a later date. But how ever you choose to go about this….she really HAS to go. The wellbeing of YOUR family must come first. I’m sorry that you have to go through this.
Let us know what happens.
Good Luck!!
J.

Sorry you have to deal with this! I would sit her down and be honest. Let her know that you really wanted to help her but the last few months have been hard on your family. Tell her that it would be best for your family as well as hers that she find her own place. She can't live there forever anyway...does she have a plan for the future?? Give her a week or whatever you feel is necessary to find someplace else to live. There is plenty of assistance out there to help her. She has a job doesn't she?? Your husband should be there with you when you talk. Be strong and don't let her make you feel guilty for needing your home and space back. It could be uncomfortable, but if it's best for your family which is your priority, talk soon. Good luck!

I went through this very same thing. It's best to be honest and upfront. She may be upset with you at first, if she's a true friend she will not take advantage of you and she'll understand. Hopefully, your friendship survives, mine did. Does she work? Is she looking for a place? It's not worth being miserable in your own home or worse yet, starts causing problems in your marriage. Maybe you can start encouraging her to search for her own place and go with her on the apartment hunt. Unfortunately, there is not going to be an easy way out unless she decides to up and move out and that doesn't seem the case. Good luck.

H.,,, You need to sit down and tell her that this is not an option anymore. Give her a dead line like five days or something and say that she needs to be out. That you need to put the needs of your family frist here and that this is not working. There are plenty of low income housing and such. I know also where I live there are church's that run shelters. This will cause stress on the relationship and it might take a while to heal. If she is really your freind she will care about your family too. And your peace of mind is a need. You need to just concentrate on your family and let yourself be OK with that. People like this usually have at least five other people on the list to get them out of trouble. It will be a good thing for her to figure this out herself it will help her grow. If everyone keeps helping her then she does not have a chance to grow on her own. This will be hard but if you talk to her now before you simply blow a fuse then it'll be a lot better. Take Care M.

tELL HER POLITELY SHE HAS TWO WEEKS TO GET OUT OR SHE WILL FIND HER ATUFF ON THE FRONT LAWN THE NEXT TIME SHE ARRIVES .
SINCE YOU INVITED HER INTO YOUR HOME YOU MAY HAVE TO TAKE IT TO COURT AS IF IT WAS AN EVICTION AND DO WHATEVER THE JUDGE SAYS TO DO.

It is hard telling any friend they have to move out of your house!!! I've been there!!! Sit her down remind her of the rules, and tell her to CLEAN UP HER MESS!!!!! If she breaks another rule after that, then pack her stuff up for her, and have it ready when she comes home!!! It might sound a little harsh, but that is what I did to my house guest!!!! They broke our rules, messed up our house, and had untrustworthy friends over around my kids!!!! My husband and I packed up their stuff, and had it waiting by the front door when they came home!! Your family HAS to come first, and it seems to already be causing probs. w/ your home life. If you ask me, it sounds like she is taking advantage of you, and sometimes you just have to put your foot down!!!! I'll come and do it for you...lol I'm just kidding, but I know how much of a pain in the rear it can be having house guests like yours!!! Like I said I've been there!!! Hope things get better for you!!!