My Self Esteem Is Suffering!

Well as far as the stretch marks go, mine faded with time. I haven't made my way to getting rid of my belly and I am prego now, so that will be on my to do list after this baby! But after a while you will probably just notice that they are better. Just takes time! Hang in there, sounds like you are doing great!

Well what I did I guess was changed the way I measure my own self worth.

My life was no longer about how hot I was, and my body no longer belonged to me alone.

It's been 19 years for me now, I no longer remember what it's like to be that self-involved.

Frankly I like the new physically imperfect yet emotionally mature me better.

Congrats on the new baby!

:)

You had a baby. Your body is never going to be what it once was no matter how much time you spend in the gym. My hips have never been the same...
Stretch marks will fade in time. I never did anything to get rid of them -- Besides, once I had the first baby, I knew I'd have a second, so there was no point in worrying about them.
My stomach muscles are firm, but the pouch is just there. I've resigned myself to the fact that I'll never be 20 again and I'm fine the way I am. I'm not a bikini kind of girl and a well designed 1 piece works great as do the tankinis.
Confidence does not come from a well toned, stretch mark-free body. Confidence is a state of mind. You grew a little being in there. You popped a little being out of there. Consider it all a badge of honor and move on.
I think you'll find that the less you obsess about your body, the more confident in yourself you'll become. There are far more important things coming up the pike. Your child will need you more and more the older he gets... sounds counter-intuitive? Not... Just wait.
Your baby needs a mom who is comfortable in her own skin -- go to the gym because it gets those endorphins going not because you need to fit into a size 6.
The best thing I did for my children was to focus on what was important -- them, their well being, my husband, our marriage, and our home. The rest fell into place... I certainly don't have a 20 year old's body, but I like cookies and I'm healthy.
YMMV
LBC

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Hi K.---In a word...patience. It will take time to get your stomach muscles to be as tight as they are going to be and for your stretch marks to fade. Stretch marks are scars and as such, will likely always be faintly visible. Your stomach muscles have been cut...it will take time to heal and for you to know what normal will be from now on.

You need to be easy on yourself and come to terms with the 'cost' of having a baby. Wear those marks as a badge of honor. You've got a beautiful new baby boy because of those. Congrats on the little one!
Be well, D.

You've gotten solid advice from the other moms here - it does take time, strectch marks do fade. But please - your looks and body are not all that matters. While man looks on the outside God looks in to our hearts.

Our body image is a superficial thing - being healthy is good, it's very imrpotant to our family and ourselves that we're healthy. But getting rid of every last effect on your body resulting from your pregnancy will be impossible. Do not let it impact how you feel about yourself. You are an amazing creature. You're able to give birth to a child! (Can your husband do that?)

The undeniable truth is that we age. I'm now almost 52 - my face, neck, hands, body, even butt is not the same as it was in my 20's - or even 40's. I wish that wasn't so. But if I was to allow myself to be upset about it I would be one of those women getting her 5th plastic surgery and looking more like a freak than a woman.

We go through different seasons of life - being a new mom is one of those seasons. Cut yourself some slack. Buy a different cut of jeans, etc. relax and enjoy WHO you are - not WHAT your tummy looks like (or what you think our tummy looks like). We are our own worst critics - I would bet that most other people think you look amazing - so chill sis.

Finally realize that you are God's amazing creation. He made you just the way you are - he knew you before you were born and saw you when you were being formed in your mom's womb - just as he saw your child in your womb. You are fearfully and wonderfully made! God thinks of you as one of His most precious creations - and God does not make junk.

I wholeheartedly understand how you are feeling. It's so frustrating and sometimes I used to just throw my clothes down and cry in my closet bc I hated how I looked and even just FELT in certain clothes. Sometimes it wasn't always about how I looked but how I FELT; and what helped that was SPANX!!!! Spanx helps tighten everything up so you don't feel like you're flappin' around. That improved my confidence a little while I worked on losing the weight.

I had two c-sections and understand how that pooch is so hard to get rid of- but you can. for ME, personally, I will always have a little "loose skin" near the incision bc of how the first c-section was cut (emergency, they weren't trying to be 'pretty') unless I see a plastic surgeon, and I'm not ready for that yet. I now have a 6 pack, but that area just above the incision has loose skin which I cannot do anything about and it hangs over a little when I sit or bend over. It's ALL muscle in my stomach and I have 15% body fat yet it's still there and a cause for a little insecurity. (so that's my story... and I'd like you to understand that some moms CAN get rid of it, but others, not)

In order to reduce the fat you should do interval workouts. run/walk. Running maxes your heart rate so you burn carbohydrates and power walking at 60-65% of your max heart rate burns fat. I'd plan an hour of 10 min walking/10 running (3 each) about 3-4x a week and do other things like pilates to strengthen. Other cardio that's great is spinning or just doing some laps in the pool. If your gym has a boot camp class then DEFINITELY get into that bc boot camps will utilize and build muscle in places you didn't know you HAD muscle!

Don't stay stuck on the SAME workout bc you have to keep your body guessing in order to get ongoing results, otherwise you'll hit a plateau and get frustrated. So definitely switch out your workouts every couple weeks.

I am a runner. I do 1/2 marathons and other races so obviously most of my workouts (for training purposes) is running! And there are times I will GAIN weight bc I let my diet go a little, even though I run like a freakin' jaguar all week! to the normal person, itd make no sense, but for my body which is used to that kind of impact, it doesnt matter how much I run bc it's adjusted. So I have to keep cross-training in order to actually STAY in shape! (cycling, swimming, boot camps etc). This happened when I tried losing the 70lbs I gained in the last pg!! lol. I hit a plateau and I'm wth!!! I run 30 miles a week?? But a trainer/friend told me you have to keep your body guessing so don't always do the SAME workout. Once I switched it up, bam... weight began dropping again.

Also... make sure you're eating ENOUGH calories. Sometimes we diet thinking less is the way to go but if you've hit a road block, it could be that your body is not getting enough due to your workouts and busy life with your child and it's storing the fat and taking its nutrients from your muscle! Muscle has better serving nutrients than fat so your body will automatically choose to feed off your muscle instead of fat if you're starving it. It sounds like a dangerous thing to do, but if all else fails, increase your caloric intake if you are working out a lot and that will probably HELP you lose weight. (I can also personally testify to this)

#s 7,8,11,12, & 14 are really great post pregnancy/ c section ab exercises:
http://sportsmedicine.about.com/od/bestabexercises/a/all_...

I do these often and honestly can say these specific exercises have contributed to my SURPRISING 6pk. Never thought I'd have one, but I have my trainers to thank!

as for the stretch marks, I don't think there is a lot you can do about those unfortch. there are things you can use to make them less noticable but I don't think you can get rid of them all the way, unless you contact a plastic surgeon? I'm not sure. I got stretch marks the second time around but can't get rid of them.
=(

C-section moms will have a pooch. Comes from the muscles being cut/damaged during surgery. Your body does not necessarily return to its post pregnancy state no matter how hard you try or what you do. Keep exercising and maintain healthy habits. Don't let your self esteem ride on being a size 6. Good luck.

Take a breath. Forget the fact that your son is only 8 months old... you are only 8 months post-surgery (abdominal surgery nonetheless).

I was a complete workout freak before my son and was also anxious to get back into my old clothing post c-section. My doctor gave me the "OK", but immediately reminded me that it took almost a year to put the weight on and it would take at least that long to take it off.

Also keep in mind that the shape of your body changes after you have carried and delivered a child. While the number on the scale is the same now, my "old clothing" doesn't fit as well b/c my shape changed.

Relax. Try not to stress and know that with regular exercise, good nutrition and balance you will return back to "normal"... or at least a new version of "normal". As for the stretch marks, those fade too with time.

I know how you feel after having three c-sections. Unfortunately that "pouch" will never go away because your muscles have been cut. Just keep working out and eating healthy. Your work-out will improve the appearance....Also get some targeted exercise for the midsection which will help. Remember your brought a beautiful baby into the world...Don't be hard on yourself!!! I do hope one day to get a tummy tuck :)

It gets better-wear a compression garment.

Soon you'll realize that who you are is not what you look like, but the person you are inside. You'll realize this as you grow as a mother.

Your body as it is now is a trophy of that baby you grew inside of yourself. Be proud of the visual proof that your body nourished and carried a baby. Consider those stretch marks battle scars.

Your dress size does not make you a better person. Neither does your weight. Whether or not you have stretch marks will not affect your life or your worth as a person. However, the vanity you show does affect how the world sees you and makes people judge your worth. That's not to say that you shouldn't take measures to be healthy and fit, but there's a difference in taking pride in how you present yourself and outright vanity.

Take care of yourself but don't stress over it. Your body went through a 9 month trauma. Give it a year to get back in shape. Sometimes it can take two years.

learn to live with them work out hard but realize you aint never going to be the same you earned them love them

I tuck that little "pouch" into my panties.

It's kind of late now but breastfeeding helps you get back to your pre pregnancy shape especially in the stomach area because it contracts the uterus the extra skin is another problem. Stretch marks take over a year to lighten and become less notable. I looked great after my 1st pregnancy but second my girl didn't nurse as much so the weights took longer to come off. Good luck! Don't worry toddlerhood will keep you on your toes!

You might look into seeing if you have a diastitis. I had one after my first baby and took a great course with exercises to get it remedied.
The best person out there is Julie Tupler: http://www.maternalfitness.com/
She has a video you can buy.

You could also look into a physical therapist in your area with some expertise in the area too.

One thing I did learn from the course are there are exercises that can make it worse so check it out!
Good luck!

What you're feeling is very normal. Remember that the changes to your body are NORMAL; they are the way almost everyone who's had a baby looks underneath their clothes!

I think the biggest thing you need is time. Stretch marks take time to fade -- they will fade, with or without ointments, and will become kind of silvery. You can try vitamin E (a graft surgeon recommended this for helping with scars, and stretch marks are scars), but mostly it just takes time.

It just takes time and ab work to help get rid of that pooch. Frankly, I haven't worked at it at all, but it's getting better with time.

I believe there are alot of women out there feeling just like you. I know I'm one of them. I have had 3 and now pregnant w/ no. 4. They are 5, 4, and 10mo. Everytime I got down to where I felt good about my body again I would get pragnant again. Go figure right. :P Our 4 and 5 year olds like to point out my stretch marks at times and I just tell them they are my "battle scars" from carrying them and they just laugh. Stretch marks really don't bother me as much as the fact of trying to get into my old clothes. But like other women have said we have to feel comfortable w/ the new "normal". This is our last baby and I'm gonna work like crazy to get back down to where I would like to be. :)