Name Calling

Sounds like the coach dealt with it. I'd leave it at that and not say another word about it. Whether the word she said was actually bad, it's the principle of name-calling. This is name-calling at a 4-yr-old level. It would certainly sound different if she were 12.

I would talk to the coach. I think he is being overly
protective. Goofy is not a word that would hurt someones
feelings. I mean...goofy means he is silly or funny...even
clumsy but not in a way to hurt. Something the coach said and does not want to admit to you has your daughters feelings hurt.
Did he tell the truth and then asking her over and over
make her feel bad? I think the coach said something to her
he should not have...she is only 4. Should have talked you
with daughter and stated it hurt his sons feelings...it is
not his place to at the age of 4 and with parents in
attendance to correct such a minor thing...kicking on purpose
is one thing. If you feel the
coach is evasive when you talk to him. Talk to person in charge. It has effected your daughter...she may still want
to play...but not with him or his son.
And to not make things with for daughters feelings...don't discuss this with her in ear shot...make it a done deal, do
not discuss or discipline...she feels bad enough already.

to be honest, the bigger a deal you make of it, the bigger a deal she will think it is. If you just tell her you know what... it will happen, you'll get called a name one day too and you'll realize it's not fun. I'm not mad at you and I still love you and personally I think it's no big deal... lets just don't do it again. Ok? and just let it go. :) when I had kids doing stuff like that in my sunday school class it wasn't a huge issue -- it was just -- say your sorry, ask for forgiveness... and lets dont let it happen again. and that was the end of it. if you treat it like it's a huge deal, it will weigh very heaviliy on their little hearts... esp if your daughter is a tenderheart like my kiddo...

I believe it wasn't the coach's place to talk to her it was yours and he stepped over a boundary. He should of talked to you and asked you to take care of the problem, or involved you but he called her out and she is only four. It sounds like he is a first time dad or maybe rusty for some reason. It would be different if it was racial or something but I tell my children all the time that there actions were goofy or silly. I say you silly boy or something similiar. I just really think you need to talk to the coach and explain to him that you wished he had come to you that now your daughter is scared to be around him and that is true and that if he would come talk to you and let you be present the next if there are any more problems. I am sure his intentions were not malice but sometimes people forget that that is your child and not their child. I don't believe you are being overly protective at all. You are being a great mom keep it up.

I feel the couch was a little goofy himself. It's like the saying One man's trash is another man's treasure. He might consider the goofy word goofy. But most people don't. OR maybe his son is a little sensitive and he is being "overprotective".
I'd talk to the coach, and remind him that you are her parent and not to tell you, "Oh it was nothing." Especially if she was crying.
I hope I made myself clear. Just remind your daughter that goofy might not be something someone else wants to be called. Assure her that it is not a bad name, especially that she probably didn't mean it to be bad.

Well,
This is just my opinion on the matter. Although I have definately heard kids say worse things, maybe it was hurtful to the other child. My son has worn glasses since the age of 3 and I will tell you he was always sensitive about being called names like that because he has always felt goofy in glasses. Who knows but maybe this child gets teased alot at school and so maybe it is a sensitive matter to them. What I would do is not scold her over it and just try to be very positive about it. I would talk to her and tell her that sometimes words can be hurtful to others even though we don't mean to be. I would also talk to the coach. I think at 4 years old the coach should have involved you in the conversation with your child. Who knows maybe the coach scolded her or was not very nice about it to her. I have an 11 year old and 4 year old and I know that whatever they have said or done over the years I never try to justify it by saying but it wasn't that bad. When situations like this come up I just try to stay positive,use it as a chance to teach, and reinforce how much I love them. Best of luck.

Goofy? that is actually a word that I would try to get my son to use in place of a REAL bad word. Goofy is not in any way an unkind word for a child to use and I think that you should tell her that is totally okay to say that word. I would also ask the coach if that was indeed the word that she said and then I would ask him why he would make an issue of a word like that. The whole situation sounds a little strange to me. As long as your daughter knows from you that she didn't do anything wrong, I think she will be just fine.

I would tell her that sometimes we use words to be silly and sometimes we can use those words to be mean. Calling someone a name because you are angry with them is not the right thing to do. Remind her that if you say any word in a mean way it is likely to hurt someone's feelings. Then let her know that you love her and you know that she is going to have a great time at soccer!

This is a hard call. I would not consider "goofy" name calling. I hear kids in my class using that term occasionally. The problem would be if the coaches son might be sensitive to stuff like that. However, if the coach would prefer that the players not use terms like that, than I would respect his rules. It is so hard to tell because you have to think of each kids personality. What might be hurtful to one child might not be to another.

That is so sad because goofy is NOT a NAME it's a behavior and it's Fun and Funny. Gee, that soccer coach really stinks! Poor kid. I guess you just have to move on and forward and tell your daughter to only use kids real names when refering to them. Apparently some Adults are ultra sensitive and have a weird definition of "name calling".