Name Change - Austin,TX

My name was changed when I was six years old. My family didn't prepare me for that, it was the teacher in school who simply announced my new name to me and the whole class.
Before you start thinking that "Oh, poor girl", it was actually really cool. My father had named me after his mother. The name is old ladyish and just awful. A cool aunt was horrified by the name and suggested the new one to my mother, who finally took matters into her own hands and changed my name. My new name actually suits me perfectly and I have aimed to live up to it to this day.
So, you may consider waiting to see if a change of name is really needed...

Is there anyway you can keep her name the way it is but just call her by her middle name? I found this to be pretty common growing up. The teacher would call a student by their first name, but preferred to go by their middle. My brother-in-law actually does the same thing. Or can you keep the first name but add the name you are thinking of to her middle name and just call her by that. My baby has 6 names she can go by, but we have given her a nickname since she was 2 months. She knows her full first name, and when asked who that is she will point to herself. But I just call her a very short version of it. Good Luck!

I have a hard time understanding how a baby of 6 months old could be determined that her name doesn't fit her. Hmmm

Which then makes me wonder if you have other reasons. (You didn't mention what your husband thinks which is very important.) If no husband, talk it up with your relatives and friends and be very truthful about your thoughts and reasons.

Perhaps they'll support you as they may think the first name was odd. If they think the second name is odd, take your time to think this all over again. Maybe you're going through some phase (or not). Maybe you don't want to mention it to others because you've done other similar things that make them wonder what you must be thinking. If that's the case, ask someone who is loving and trusting to be completely honest with you because you want to really see yourself as others see you.

Know that everything I've said is based on my having to speculate about a lot of things, including the name. If you were switching from Anne to Marie, that's one thing. From Tinkerbell to Marie, okay. From Marie to Tinkerbell, not okay. (Hope you're smiling by this time)

Usually best to have others weigh in and say why -- then to go off on your own on such an important step. I agree with others that you shouldn't wait long if you do this. I also agree with thinking about using it as a nickname so the child can pick for herself in school and then permanently if she so desires down the road.

I believe when you adopt a baby from the state that 'they' allow/ advise you to change the baby's name only if they are under one year. If the baby is any older, I think it is felt that the baby really recognizes their name.

With that said, I know my own nine month old daughter, really knows her name and that I would confuse her greatly if I called her something else.

Your daughter may 'grow' into her name. Names are so much of our identity that I would think really carefully before changing it.

Names are tricky. The name my mother loved for me, I grew up hating. If it's really a bad fit (mine was), you could change it, or keep it and let her find her own name when she's ready. (I know all of this might be way too hippie for many out there, but let me just say that this worked for me!) One of my dearest friend's found her true name in first grade...and she's in her 60's with that same true name, so one never knows...

I had to go through the court system to have my name legally changed, and it's likely you will need to as well, esp. if there's a social security number involved. This will involve going down to the SS office with the appropriate paperwork and having the change documented with them as well, so that her number stays consistent.

I won't dare to tell you if this is the right or wrong decision for you, but I agree that it's probably a good idea to have this discussion with your partner/husband/significant other before going further down this road. Names are tough...my husband and I found that we could only agree on one name, and that is the one our son wears today. It suits him fine, and that's fortunate, but I know of other situations where naming baby was more complicated. Good luck! (~~and as for worrying about too many other people's opinions...well, unless you are going way far out with the new name, they'll kvetch and get over it eventually...or not. If they decide to hang onto it, just let go...they'll be the only one holding on, right?)

"Other people" will always have an opinion, but this is your choice. If you are going to do it, the earlier the better, before she starts recognizing her name. (Although I know a family who adopted a boy at almost 2 and changed his name - he was fine with it.) I would check what is necessary in your state to do a name change. I would be sure to know how to handle the birth certificate - see if that can be changed. Otherwise your daughter will always need two documents - the birth certificate and the name change order signed by a judge.

Another option is to just call her by a new name and leave her legal name the same. We can all "go by" any name we choose, as long as we aren't doing it to commit a crime. This is somewhat confusing as legal ID documents need to have the legal name. But I worked as an HR Manager and when hiring people, found out that people often use a name that is not the same as the one on their documents.

When I got married, I didn't change my last name. Then two years later, decided to take my husband's last name. My husband found out that for just a few dollars more, we could both do a change - so he changed his first name! He was named after his father (not a nice man), and he always went by his middle name anyway. We had to fill out paperwork, bring a witness (someone to verify that you aren't doing this to commit fraud), and appear before a judge (it took less than 10 minutes). Now he always has to show that extra document at any legal/finanical proceedings (getting a mortgage, etc.). But, now he is officially "Hunter" instead of "Howard" and it cost less than $100.

If you're going to do it, do it now! Your daughter is only just starting to recognize her name, and it will be much less confusing for her than changing it when she's older. Make sure that you are absolutely sure (could you change her middle name and just call her that? Try out different options) because what would be crazy would be to change her name multiple times. But I completely understand the feeling that the name has to fit the child, so if you're sure, do it now!

I think you can do whatever you want to, it's your kid. don't worry about what others think or what your reason is behind it.

It doesn't matter if a person has a hard time understanding how a baby of 6 months old could be determined that her name doesn't fit her, or what they wonder the other reasons are. It's your kid and if you want to change her name, then go right ahead. Don't worry about what others will think or say. If you don't do this now, in twenty years, you will still be regretting the time you had the opportunity to change her name and didn't. Be strong!

No, you are not crazy. I had the same feeling that my second child's name didn't fit her early on. She was about 6 months when I asked my husband if we could change her name. He thought that was crazy and said I would get used to it. Well, I haven't, she is 4 now and I still think she has the wrong name and my husband now keeps trying different shortened versions of her name to find one that fits (because he would never admit I was right). If I had it to do over again, I would have insisted we change it. Good luck with your decision.

Hi M., I don't think you are crazy at all! When my child was born we had what we called the "short list" of names we liked. The entire time I carried this child I pictured him to look as I pictured and be one of those names...but just in case, we decided to see and meet him before making the final decision.

I'm so glad we waited because within hours of his birth, I could see that he was definitely not the child of the name I had favored. When I held him and looked into his eyes I knew we needed to choose a different name and we did. It suited him so much better and continues to this day.

Many friends are able to pre-select their names for their children and it works, which is wonderful. Yet, I know another who chose a name for her son and now that he is two she is finally getting comfortable with it suiting him.

Do what not only feels right but makes sense to you; you are MOM and no one else here on earth knows and loves your child in the unique way that you do!

Congratulations on the birth of your baby!

Go for it, but I would do it sooner rather than later! Very few of us actually call our children by their complete given names. In fact my son's name is John David, but if you ask him the answer is "JD" b/c that's all we've called him since day 1.

Don't worry about what other people think.

If her name doesn't suit her, change it. People start calling their kids by nicknames every day, and the nicknames often replace their real names.

Sometimes names really don't suit a person. You might as well change it now.

Change it if you feel very strongly about it. The hospitals DO rush you although I know one friend with five children who never named their babies until they were about 6 months old. You CAN leave the hospital without completing all that paper-work, they just don't like for you to do it. And it is more of a pain for you to file that info than to let the hospital file it. So possibly you did name your baby in haste and are now regretting it.
I agree that if the baby's dad is involved at all he should have some say in this.
While keeping the name as is but going by a middle name (or something completely different) sounds like an easy solution, there are drawbacks: the big one being school which requires the first name and middle initial. Not the first initial and middle name. My niece went by her middle name and when she graduated from high school she was already across the stage before anyone realized her name had been called. Her name is Mary Louise, she went by Louise, they announced Mary.
My oldest is named after his grandfather and we knew he would be called by his middle name. Since my niece is so much older, I learned from her - I stayed one step ahead of the schools by NEVER giving them my son's first name. In every form I filled out I put L. Wilson - cramming the Wilson into the middle initial space. The schools responded by listing him as Wilson L.-they had no capabilities to addres him by his middle name. When he graduated from high school he was announced as Wilson. All of his paperwork is in his first initial, middle name.
I also changed the spelling of my name in middle school. I went from a "Y" to an "ie". Over the years I have had my passport, marriage license and Social Security all put in the current spelling, even though I never had it legally changed. So even with all of your efforts-your daughter may change her name on her own somewhere down the line.
And I don't think it would be terribly confusing. My youngest has so many nicknames that I have trouble keeping up with her real name. My middle loves to make up new names for her younger sister and in the last twelve years she has been Kibley, Nana,Shaneenee, Rufus, Rupert, Poopert, Kizzy, Coney, Ericka, Eeka, Impy, Kay, Kaykay and the list goes on. In fact I just realized we need to write all those names down before we forget them!
Good luckl!

My second daughter is named Cailin McKenzie. My husband chose the first name and I chose the middle name. When she was born I would call her Cailin but it didn't seem to fit. By the time she was 3 months old I started calling her Cailin McKenzie and she would always smile when I got to Kenzie and it just stuck. She is 16 months now and we have been calling her Kenzie since she was 3 months old. My husband fought it at first but now he even calls her Kenzie. I introduce her that way. I put Kenzie on her name tag and belongings when she goes to class at church I even had the doctors office put Kenzie on her file as the name she goes by. I don't want to legally change her name because I love the name my husband picked out for her even though it doesnt fit right now, it may suit her later on.

I'm not sure why you would want to change a babies name. Who named the baby and what is it you don't like about her name that you want to change it? Why not keep the birth name and just call her something that you like, then use it for everything. You will only need her birth name for important issues, ss#, school enrollment, employment purposes, etc. Not every one will need to know or even know her birth name except a select few. It's kind of intriguing, mysterious, and sexy to be addressed by a different name other than your birth name for your whole life and only a select few would know the legal birth name. I have a nephew that we call "Rusty", this is not his legal birth name nor is it even close to his birth name. His parents chose a family name for his legal birth name but really liked the name "Rusty" and called him that from day 1. He will always be "Rusty" to everyone.
V.

I guess I don't understand why you would want to change it now..............when you say fits her, as in her attitude? So she doesn't act like a Violet, she's more a Mariah?

It's your call, but if you liked the name and it's not super strange, I would keep it.......I'm not sure what it would cost to change it either.........or how that works.........you could just nickname her the name that you think fits her and still keep her real name the same........but if you are going to do it, do it now, because this is the name she has had for 6 months, and I'm not sure how changing it will do with her mind.......she won't respond well, since she will be called something else........especially if the name is very different from what she has now........

Good Luck and let us know what you decide.

I know at least 3 people who have done this or said they want to.So you're not that crazy...

At this point I don't think you're crazy. If she were 5 years old I may ask you to rethink it. Unfortunately the Hospital only gives us a certain amount of time to get to know our children and then name them before we take them home. If you are going to change her name, you should do it now instead or waiting until its too late. Another option is just to call he by whatever you want to call her. Many people don't go by their given names. If she wants to change it later then she can. She may really like her original name and want to be called by that name. You never know.

If you are going to do it, you need to do it NOW. And if this is a strong conviction, I believe you should name her what fits her. Be strong and follow YOUR heart, not the opinion of others.

I think that having had a legal name change and having to present that information when applying for things would be more complicated than just having your original formal name and then the name that you go by. I originally worried about how things would work for my son when he started school, went to the dr, etc. It hasn't been a big deal at all. He knows what his full name is and will respond to it and then tell you what people call him.