J.P.
I would also recommend flylady.net to help you get a handle on the housework. I have let myself slip lately, but it is a great program with lots of support.
I'm a 27 yearold mother, I have three wonderful kids, wonderful husband. But my problem is my husband is never home do to work, so I take care of our three kids alone alot of the time. I dont work outside of the home, becuase its cheaper for me to stay home and raise the boys until they are in school. Plus as it sits my MS wont let me work. My problem is, I have no energy, all I do is clean, take care of the kids. Stuff that for me isnt hard, but by the time 8pm comes around I have no energy to clean the house up from the day, like dishes and such. My daughter is going to join softball, my oldest son wants to join peewee football. Can anyone give me ideas on what I can do to give me more energy to keep up with my daily chores, activites my kids ae going to be doing keep up with my one yearold. I would love any ideas, and I'm more then happy to try any of them. Thankyou all very much.
I would also recommend flylady.net to help you get a handle on the housework. I have let myself slip lately, but it is a great program with lots of support.
"Stuff that isn't hard"........raising 3 kids full-time is difficult for anyone, much less those without health challenges! I prescribe not taking yourself for granted. ;-)
But seriously, I'm sorry you're struggling with MS. Do you visit any of the MS-related boards/sites? I'm guessing they would tell you to forget the housework (or put it at the bottom of your list).......whereas first on your list is taking care of yourself. Not your kids, but yourself. That's so difficult for us moms. Obviously, we always make sure our kids' needs are met to the best of our ability - it's more that we have to re-define our "musts" when we are ailing.
I have FM, and balance is the thing I struggle most with. It's easier now that my children are older, but I hear moms talking about this all the time. We only have a very limited amount of energy, so we have to "spend it wisely". In the beginning, I tried to keep up with the kids' activities, the chauffeuring, the play dates, etc, but I ended up making myself sicker. Whether I wanted to or not, I had to drastically reduce my activity level. That's the difficulty - we want to be super moms, we don't want to deny our children any opportunities. Sigh. I will always feel guilty, even tho I'll tell you that you mustn't feel guilty!
I applaud you for not letting your MS define you, but do you have a doctor you trust? Or a support group of women who know about MS? I'd hesitate to give you any advice re: diet, exercise, meds/supplements, and I'd urge caution about trying anything that claims to give you instant energy or to "cure" you. Even caffeine can seriously affect those with health probs.
So other than that, I think common sense is an important ally. Quiet activities (coloring, watching movies, etc) to keep your 1yo busy so you can rest during the day. Asking for help from family & friends, much as we hate to. Setting a "date" with your husband to talk about how your MS affects you, your children, and your marriage. If he hasn't had time to really "hear" you, he may not realize the extent of your challenges. Not sure he can reduce his work hours, but I know feeling understood helps greatly. :-)
I'm sure there are all sorts of websites for moms w/ MS. Even on About.com's FM/CFS site, http://chronicfatigue.about.com/ they're talking about things like ways to make grocery shopping and cooking easier.....hands on advice for all the little things we do that others don't even have to think about, but that we have to plan ahead for.
Congrats on your happy, busy family and on your great attitude. I hope you have many more "great" days than flares.
I have MS too, an am currently experiencing a relapse. Fatigue is probably the biggest issue I face. Here is some of what I have decided. First, let some things go. I hate to admit it, but if I get around to doing dishes once a week, I am lucky. We use a lot of cheap paper plates and cups to reduce how much work I have to do. Involve your kids. If they are old enough for sports, they are old enough to help clean up, fold laundry, and put toys away. Make a game of things so it is fun rather than chores. Try to keep toys contained to one room and have everyone clean up for 10 minutes before bedtime. Don't be hard on yourself. Life will come when you won't have kids around and have time to clean up. MS will roll its ugly head when it wants, so don't force yourself to overdo things just to live up to the expectations of others.
You are really dealing with a lot.
Shaklee vitamins helped me. They have strips called Vitalizer and the Soy protein helps alot also. You can find them at http://www.shaklee.net/healthforife
Another resource is http://www.bobsfiles.net. There are audios there you can listen to there and I am sure there is on one MS.
Take care. Let me know if you need more info.
Victoria
Hi Mommy,
Do the older kiddoes help with housework? Not only will that help with your limited endurance, but will reinforce their part in your wonderful family :)
Also, may I suggest researching "energy conservation?" As an OT, we teach this often, including and especially for folks with MS: it's a method for how you *stay active* without burning out.
Good luck!
t
My husband was diagnosed with MS a year ago and the worst symptom for him was the fatique. He now has so much energy and feels great, symptom free, we attribute it to the Vitality pack vitamins he takes daily. NOT all vitamins are the same, most do not have good absorption. The company we refer people too has Oligo so they absorb and provide the fuel your body needs. I highly recommend you visit www.oligofructosecomplex.com and then call me at ###-###-#### and I can get you a discount. They are not expensive and you will feel so much better. If you don't there is a 90 money back guarantee. Visit my site at www.LiveTotalWellness.com/TEXAS to request more info.
B12 Vitamin is what my sister recommended also I had my iron tested and I was anemic, so I would recommend that--if it is low iron its an easier fix.
sounds like you need to find a way to carve out even just 15 min a day for yourself. I find if I don't do that during the day I end up staying up late at night (hmm like today) just to get some sanity and then of course I'm exhausted the next day)
I also recommend fly lady. just 15 min increments on cleaning. when my depression was at its worst I dropped that down to 2 min. and built my way up. its amazing what you can do in 2 min. and more so in 15.
ps I had a "critical friend" tell me my house was really messy when she dropped by unannounced one day and I just let her in, I said, you are more than welcome to clean it.
I was very proud of myself in that moment it was liberating and I realized I really didn't care what she thought, my dd had been sick all week and my priority had been snuggle time with her.
www.flylady.net
(and her advice, all free...love her)
I hope your kids have chores? if not I would definitely get them involved in doing chores and helping out around the house. its too much for one person and they need to learn so that they can be productive adults when they leave home. I had roommates that had never cooked a meal or done their own load of wash, it was really sad actually--
my 4 year old cleans toilets, washes windows and vacuums the stairs, those are her favorite chores! lol. (and I'm not complaining about that)
good luck, hang in there and remember that even housework done incorrectly (as in not perfect) still blesses our homes.
when the kids are this little I don't think the most important thing is that we have immaculate homes...when they are adults I doubt we will look back and think gee I wish I spent more time cleaning my house. but we might wish we had skipped mopping a time or two to sit and read a book and enjoy a game of cars or dolls with our little ones. I always remind myself of that when I am torn between that stack of clutter that I promised I would get to and my pleading 4 yr old saying "I would very like you to play with me mommy" so its taking me longer to get through the pile than I wanted...I am not going to regret that time playing with her. and hopefully it will be wonderful memories she will carry with her throughout her life too.
I feel ya sister. My husband works day and night and sometimes out of town so I go it alone too. I totally feel for you too with the MS. One of my best friends has that and she gets very tired as well.
A couple of months ago, I posted a question very similar to yours and I was referred to a site called FlyLady.com. The key to this site is how to form your day so you can get things done but not miss out on life. Give it a try, it really has helped me.
Good luck!
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