Need Some Advice! Not Sure What's Wrong or How to Handle It!
Updated on
November 09, 2006
M.E.
asks from
Fairview, OR
4
answers
Okay, so here it goes. I have a 5 year old son who is in a special school right now. Last year he was approved for the early intervention program and sent to the thompson center, but at the end of the year they decided he didn't need services anymore. He was his usual self during the summer, (I'll explain usual in a minute) and then school started. He was fine for the first two days. After that it was down hill from there to where they finally sent him to four corners where it has been the same thing. I feel so bad for his teachers. He hits and kicks when he doesn't get his way, the chairs were a different color one day so he went and threw them all down, runs out of the room, uses foul language, etc.
Okay so now about his normal behavior at home. He is extremely difiant, is constantly in trouble, I go to bed exhausted and sad because I don't get to play with him anymore, all I do is fight with him. He throws temper fits, hits the walls, I actually caught him punching his one year old sister one day (which is I must admit extremely rare, normally he loves her and goes out of his way to try to keep her protected, happy, and safe), he refuses to listen AT ALL. I know there is a definate trying to gain independence at this age, but it seems to go beyond that.
If anything is not a certain way he freaks, but when it comes to his playroom he doesn't care if everything is a mess. He's getting somewhat better about not throwing fits about his scheadule when it gets off, but now if you try to switch from one thing to another (even if it's from TV Time to play time) he throws a fit, refuses to do it, ignores to the point of wondering if he's even listening, etc. I feel like I'm constantly battling with him. I'm scared to take him to parks or let him play outside because he runs when it's time to switch. The only reason why they don't think he's autistic is because of his social behavior. He is very social half the time. Half of the time he'll tell anybody anything and everything, the other half he wont talk or open up unless I tell him they are our friends.
He's a very sweet and loving little boy. Very sensative too. I just don't know what to do. He hit all of his milestones a little early when he was little and then somewhere a long the way he just kind of slowed down to where now he's a little slower at things. He's very intellegent. I take that back, he's EXTREMELY intellegent. We have an appointment with Cascadia next week, but I just am so tired and it's been a struggle, any advice to help me deal with him and get to have fun with my son again until we can figure out what's going on would be so helpful and much appreciated!!! Thank you!
Hey M....
I'm sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. I'm going through the Early Childhood Ed program at PCC and am currently taking the class on teaching children with special needs. I also have a Preschool and Toddler care which we accept children with special needs. I'm not advertising just giving you a little background.
Anyhow... My business partner's mom is an Herbalist, we have come across several studies that link this kind of behavior to an allergy in their diet. He may be lacking some sort of Minerals or needs some sort of body cleanse. Or he could be sensative to chemicals.
If you are interested in knowing more about this let me know. I'd love to give you a referral to have his saliva tested,if your interested in removing all chemicals from your home you can use a line of products through Shaklee called GET Clean..
There are several options and I could give you a name to get started. I'm in gresham and the Herbal Health Center is also in Gresham. Let me know!
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J.C.
answers from
Portland
on
Without real training and without actually seeing your son he sounds a lot like my cousin who was finally in his teen years diagnosed as having Asperger's syndrome which is a high functioning form of Autism. Ask your doctor about it. As some others have mentioned it could also be allergy, I've known some kids who had that kind of reaction to any food dyes, especially reds. But it sounds more like Aspergers to me.
There are a couple books I'd recommend that don't address Aspergers but do address getting your high energy kid back under control. One is Raising the Spirited Child. It addresses some things you're facing like dealing with change. The other is 1-2-3 Magic. Very good book on strategies for handling behavior you don't like. There are also lots of support groups and books out there for Aspergers parents.
What I've found with my cousin (he's younger than me and has spent a lot of time at our house) is absolute consistency is a must. Be very clear about what's acceptable behavior and what's not and figure out what consequences get him to listen. They can be fully functioning adults and independent. But they do need early training on how to interact with people. At base they don't get empathy very well and have to learn it by rote rather than intuitively learning body language and social cues.
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M.P.
answers from
Portland
on
You certainly do have a handful and need some help. This is not normal behavior. I'd recommend going back to the school and getting him evaluated again. He definately has a problem and it's been documented in the school. There are other possible causes than autism.
My 3 yo grandson is getting speech therapy thru that program which has placed him in a Headstart classroom even tho he wouldn't qualify for any other reason My grandson is somewhat like your son in that he's angry and defiant often, more so that is usual at this age. Professionals thru that program are working to find out what his problem is and how to treat it.
I've heard that a parent often needs to be more forceful to advocate for treatment. Here is a sight that might help for the IEP part. If it doesn't you can find help on the internet by googling IEP or one of the other terms and add advocacy. (I think)
Wow M.! My heart goes out to you and your family. I couldn't imagine how difficult this is for you, not to mention your son. My only advice would be to keep searching for a doctor that specializes in this type of behavior. It really seems more than just a stubborn little boy. Have you been able to find any other families through the schools that he's been to that go through the same things? Networking & a well qualified physician sounds to be your best bet in tackling this situation. Much luck to you!
