Neighbor Stealing Grapes from Our Backyard! Have You Ever Had This Happen?

I would have said something about her spraying my grapes! It doesn't matter if she was trying to make them grow better, it is downright rude to mess with someone else's yard without their permission!

If you're not going to confront them then saying something like what you suggested is the next best thing. Also, is there a way you can cover them so no one can get them? I hate to say this because you shouldn't have to do this...but can you move the grapevine? Maybe read up on translpanting things. I'm sorry this is happening. Neighbor trouble makes me wonder why we all live in places where homes are so close to each other sometimes! I would be pretty ticked.

wow how do people have the nerve? I'm sorry I wouldn't even know what to do besides knock on their door and confront them so good luck.

I am jokingly going to say that I am so glad I didn't grow up around some of ya'll. An elderly neighbor around the block from me had grapes growing all along his fence line. When my mom would send me to the corner store, I'd sometimes stop and graze. Or I'd lay under his vines and look up at the clouds through them. Sometimes he or his wife would see me out there and wave or even come out to chit chat. Every now and then, they would give me a few dollars to pick something up at the corner store, since I was going anyway. They always let me keep the change. They were not counting thier grapes.
I also loved to walk the alley behind my house. It was lined with lilacs. I spent many beautiful days hiding in the lilac bushes and picking lilacs. I would bring bunches of lilacs for my mom and my neighbors, including the elderly couple with grapes.
Everyone complains about how there is no sense of community and people don't look out for each others kids. I bet my neighbors had my back. I wouldn't have it any other way. If you all are ever in my yard, I've got Habaneros, jalapenoes, and tomatoes growing by my porch. Help yourself!

I'm just shaking my head.....do you know how insane this sounds? Why the HECK didn't you address this the moment you saw her spraying the vine? Yes, she encroached on your world....why didn't you address it in a timely manner?

& as for the fruit missing, if it was immature....then my vote is for wildlife eating it. We've had vines stripped clean overnight....

But honestly, to me it doesn't matter whether the fruit is gone....or if it's been cut off cleanly by a thieving neighbor or pulled off/stripped by a bird/animal. What matters to me in this whole post....is how much angst is present in both your words & many of the respondants. This is not how a village lives. When your world wobbles, address it....don't let it fester, don't look for insult.....simply open your mouth & deal with it! The results are immediate & clarifying. Peace...

EDIT: gee, I wished you Peace & yet you consider me rude. :) Seriously, you did NOTHING....& yet you've mentioned a camera.....laughed at an electric fence. All over 3 bunches of grapes...when the real issue is: the spraying invasion which was never addressed! Again, Peace!

My fruit trees reach over my neighbor's fence and his reach over mine. He and I pick what is on our side of the fence. (Although I must admit, I reached up to pick a tangerine and it was on the fence line and may have been more on his side of the fence than on mine.) I've offered to give him some of my blackberry and boysenberry vines.

I'd ask your neighbor if she would like you to let your grape vine trail over the fence or if she would like a cutting. (A cutting is how you propagate grapes.)

ADDED: I just read the post again. All this fuss over "three SMALL clusters of IMMATURE grapes"? You can't eat immature grapes. What is the big deal? Has the milk of human kindness curdled in your veins? Or their veins? I guess I don't understand such selfishness.

Good luck to you and yours.

Wow, people jumped down your throat for no reason! The issue for me wouldn't really be the grapes, it's the fact that she is hanging over on your property, spraying God knows what on your stuff.
My advice is to transplant the vine nearer to your home and let it crawl up a trellis. Then she has no reason to poke around on your side of the fence.

I would go and ask her.... what she sprayed on your grapes.
What if it was some kind of poison?
Tell her, you have kids. This is an edible plant and it is your plant.
She should not be spraying anything on it.

TELL her you SAW her spraying something on it.
For me, that would really be upsetting.
Because, you do not know what the heck she is spraying on it.

I'm all for good communication. You can, and should, ask her what she sprayed in your yard. While you're at it, you can also ask her if she took the fruit, or perhaps knows who did. Once she knows you know about her interest in your grape vine, she'll probably give up on it.

You could also ask her if hunger is an issue in her household. It's possible that she's struggling to get enough food for herself (or children?), in which case there may be other ways you or your neighbors could help her out. There's a lot of hunger going around right now. And when I was younger, I lived through a 2-year period during which I often went to bet hungry.

I was too proud to ask for help, but some neighbors somehow noticed the problem, and would leave an occasional bag of potatoes and onions on my doorstep, and once some canned green beans. I almost cried with gratitude and relief, and have since realized that sometimes my neighbors are desperate for help.

(Birds and sometimes squirrels or raccoons will eat grapes and other fruit, but the stems would be left behind.)

Wait, I'm lost. Did you plant the grape vine on your property, or does it come from your neighbor behind you? If it isn't yours, I don't see how you can be miffed ...

Added: thanks for the clarification! Yes, I would be none to happy about the spraying for one and the possible clipping for two. Would be funny to put up a stake with a little handmade sign that faces the fence and says something like "Aha! Caught ya! Please no spraying or clipping of plants that are in our yard -- thanks!"

But if you do see it again, say something right in the moment.

Oh no! Call the grape police!

You should really say something to her about the spraying. God only knows what it was and it could be really harmful to your children or pets if you have any.

So wait, is the grape vine in your yard... as in fenced inside your property? Because we had a garden that was just outside of our fence that neighbors use to steal from, but then again, it wasn't totally fenced in so it was our loss.

It sounds as if the grape vine isn't technically yours, it is coming from another house, so in that case I do not think you have 100% claim on it.

If it is totally in your yard, I would not be above nicely going over there with maybe a grapevine cutting or something and saying, "I saw you spraying something on our plants and then noticed some fruit of ours had been picked after wards. I don't mind sharing food when it comes in and after we are able to access the amount of produce that we have an overabundance of, but please do not take anything prematurely or without express permission as this is our food source and in our property. And also, please do not use any type of spray, be it fertilizer or pesticide on our plants as we are taking care of them as we see fit."

If she continues after that, you can call your HOA or city watch or whatever for her breaking/entering your property.

And also, we have a pecan tree in our front yard. I have no issue if people want to come and take some nuts that fall on the ground so long as they are not making a mess or coming during weird hours. As for the tree fenced in my back yard, yes, I would not like that and would probably call the police since I would think it was robbers or something. I would give to anyone who kindly asked though!

I do agree with S.H. about inquiring about what she put on the plants to make sure it wasn't some kind of toxin that could be harmful to your family, pets, etc. Other than that, I would go with the attitude of sharing the grapes or letting her have them altogether. It doesn't sound like it produces much anyway. After all, you said you forgot they were even there, so why get so upset over them now? You may even say casually, "feel free to share some of the grapes if you like." You actually didn't see her take the grapes, just sprayed something on them, so this is a nice way of making her aware that you know the grapes are out there instead of assuming she took them. You would be surprised just how relentless little critters like rabbits can be with things like that.
Don't buy a camera just to prove if this woman is stealing your grapes or not! That would just be silly. To me, it all comes down to how we treat each other in life. You never know, this neighbor might come to you in your time of need some day. We reap what we sow. You might not reap a few grapes that grow on your vine, but you might reap something even better down the road. Give a little grace to her. If you had a big garden in your yard that harvested a lot of produce and she was just shopping away, then that would be different, but you only came to remember these grapes because you caught her spraying something on them. Don't let something like this ruin your day or a neighborly friendship. Go to the store and buy your grapes as you normally would. Who knows. Maybe she is making some wine for you for Christmas! (I couldn't resist that and I am not trying to make light of your situation, but seriously, I think you would be better off taking the high road on this one.)
God Bless,
A.

No, grapes will not continue to ripen after picked. I'd be concerned about what she was spraying. Spraying the grapes will not help them to grow better or help them to ripen. You have to fertilize the soil for that. Picking immature grapes does not make sense.

Do you know your neighbor? If not, I'd do just a neighborly visit and talk about the spraying. If she's a bit off it could be something toxic. It's good to know our neighbors, anyway. You could take over some cookies to "sweeten" the visit if you're concerned about being confrontational. Just chat about the grapes and mention you saw her spraying something and want to know what it was.

It's possible, tho not knowing your neighbor I don't know how likely, that she has a "beef" with you. You want to take care of it if so.

Electric fence line?

Could you be completely mistaken and an animal or bird is eating them?

Is there a way you can try to get them to grow away from the fence. I would so do the electric fence!!! They should not be taking stuff from your side of the fence!!!

We have neighbors like that, people who make you feel like the jerk for confronting them for stuff they did wrong. I would probably bring it to them: go over and say that you saw her spraying something on your vines and what was she doing, and by-the-way- all my grapes are now gone, did you take them? I would also start keeping a log about this kind of stuff, since there might be more like that in the future (at least there were with ours). Ours was related to their dog pooping in our yard and biting us and joggers, them being told by the dog officer to muzzle the dog and leash it after we complained, which they did for about 4 weeks and then let the dog wander again, so we had to pursue the issue again. Same folks had a dead, old car in their front yard for about 5 years that they used for storage, the by-laws state you can have a car out front for 30 days for the purpose of selling but then it should be out back (it has no plates and does not start and looks like a pile of rust), so they put a for sale sign on it, 30 days later put it in the back and 4 months after that put it back in the old spot. So once again we feel like the jerks for making them follow the laws in our town. But I heard from everyone else in the neighborhood that they are very weird, and once drove a truck belonging to the owner of a dog they were dog-sitting for the whole 10 days the owners were on vacation and it was not in their garage when they returned a day early and the weird neighbors had the gall to complain that they called around 1 AM in the morning. Some people are just strange and have no sense of community or decency. Good luck, I feel for you.

Sounds like a case of sour grapes! Bahahaha!! Sorry, I know that was bad...

I have not had this happen, but I did have a friend with a similar experience. They had a persimmon tree though and it was in their back yard! They kept noticing that things were moved in their yard when they came home from work, and finally figured out that someone was coming into their yard climbing a ladder and hiding on the back side of the roof picking the persimmons while they were at work! They ended up spending an afternoon picking all of them and posting a sign to give them away. A lady in a van pulled up, her four kids hopped out with 5 gallon buckets and they took all of them!!

I don't have any advice... just that you are't alone. People do this kind of thing all the time, an unfortunately here there are lots of people that don't pick the fruit and it ends up on the ground rotting. I guess people figure that at least it's getting used if they pick it, but they could at least ask!

Wow. That's pretty rude. I would say to her, in a friendly tone, "Do you like the grapes? I would be happy to bring you a little basket sometime!"

Grapes are expensive though--especially organic.

I once had a neighbor that was using my water hose in my front yard. This neighbor was a complete jerk too, we weren't even neighborly neighbors. I was out of state for several months and came home and noticed my hose in HIS yard. We pay for our water.

I put a little padlock on my spigot. He also 'SWITCHED' my garbage can with his smelly one. I always bagged my trash to keep my "can" clean, I came home and opened mine and it stunk to high heaven and was SO gross. I called the city and they came out to replace it...but he actually took mine off my property. Ugh.

Anyway, could you rig up some wire mesh or even like a mesh to keep birds out--like what people put on fruit trees? (I have to put it on my peach trees to protect my crop from the birds!) It lets water and sun in but keeps the pests out! Unless, of course, you don't mind her grape-pillaging ways.

You could even say in the yard..."I wonder if the birds ate our grapes. We need to get something to protect our grapes so WE can have some to enjoy and not just those PESKY grape-stealing birds !"

Bra or no bra, go out there to catch her! Or, put a very visible sign that says No Tresspassing/Private Property or, to be more lighthearted - If you would like to share our grape harvest, please come to the front door - we'll be happy to assist you.

I would definitely ask her what she sprayed on your property asap.

Hi,

Wow! What a horrible neighbor! I am sorry you are going through this. If I were you, I would secretly put a LOUD buzzer system on the fence and where she is retrieiving them. Have it go off so loud that it startles her enough to back down off her ladder and stay on her side of the fence. If you want to make sure it doesn't happen again, stragecically (Sp) place a note saying : Please don't pick our grapes anymore. We were left with nothing and its pretty rude to steal--don't ya think??? Thanks.... Hopefully the loud buzzer will deter her enough though. GL

M

I think you can confront her and still be kind and friendly about it. Let her know that you saw her spraying your vines ie. your property and that you later noticed that several clusters of fruit were cut. You can then tell her that you would prefer it if she let you know before spraying and taking fruit in case you had plans for it.

We have an 8 ft fence so that doesn't happen. We do have a pear tree in our back yard and we have had people stop by and ask if they could have some. Part of the tree does hang over the side of our fence so I guess some people may try to grad those, which I'm okay with. The tree came with the house, and I like pears, but they aren't my favorite and I hate to see them go to waste... now if I did have a grape vine, then I would be upset about that. I grew up on a farm and we had one, my grandmother would make home made jelly out of them, and boy was that great. If I remember correctly, we would have 2-3 good years, then the next year the vine wouldn't produce much. Then the year after the bad one, we would have a great year of grapes...

I honestly think you should say something to her. Let her know that you have the grape vine on your property and that you use the grapes and appreciate her asking (if you want her to have some) or just leaving them alone. Seriously, if she wants a grape vine, she can plant, and water and spray whatever on her side of the fence. I think it's very rude on her part, so don't be scared to confront her...

I'm a letter writer. I hate face to face confrontations because I get red, terribly flustered and forget my words. Some people call it shy, but whatever it is I hate it, so I write letters. If this were my neighbor and my yard I would write something like this.

October 07, 2011

Dear Neighbor,

A couple of weeks ago while I was sitting at my kitchen table, I noticed you climb upon something, lean over the fence into my yard, and spray some unknown liquid onto the grape vines that are growing there. Then days later, all the grape clusters were cut from their vines and stolen. I don't know if it was you that took them but I do take issue with you hovering into my yard and tending my plants. My daughter and I were watching them ripen and felt robbed to find that they had all gone missing. If it wasn't you who took the grapes I apologize for the implied accusation.

If the vines grow into your yard and over the fence you are free to do with those dangling bits as you see fit and I will try and train them your direction if that is your desire, but please refrain from poking about in my yard in the future. I value my privacy as I'm sure you do yours and I'd hate for this to become a point of contention between us.

Sincerely,

(Leave room here for signature)

Your Printed Name Here

Living in Napa, I know a fair amount about grapes.

My parents have 240 vines. We sprayed their neighbor's yard for powdery mildew, although we did ask permission, so that it would not infect our vines.

My neighbor has 2 vines and has had them for 4 years. They have never gotten any grapes at all because the deer strip them. With birds they never get the whole cluster but the deer do.

OH, and grapes do not continue to ripen once removed from the vine. And it is better to transplant after the vine has gone dormant.

I'd put up a sign that says something like:
"We enjoy our privacy, and are not in need of gardening help, Thanks!"

If they grow and hang over the fence on her side she has the right to cut them. She shouldnt be reaching over and taking them if they are on your side. If you dont want her to take grapes from your side of the fence, nail up a few 3 ft long 1x1 boards to the fence and then frame with chicken wire from the fence up and over the grape vines. She wont be able to pick them thru chicken wire and may get the hint you didnt intend to give away your crop.
When I had my daycare, I had to cut the berries off a bush that was planted in my neighbors yard but tended to grow over and through the fence to my side. The berries were poisonous so I couldnt have them on my side. I had the right to do that, but I didnt cut the stuff on their side.

Is there any sign of anyone actually being in your yard?
Because birds can and do eat grapes.
As far as the spraying goes, it might be weed or brush killer but she's got no right to be spraying anything on your side of the fence.
She can chop things off at the property line if she wants to but what is in your yard and on your side is your business.
PJ's or no, I would have gone out and asked her right then and there what she was doing or at least take pictures of her doing it in case she decides to deny it.
You can get a motion detector sprayer that will go off if anyone comes over from her side.
Works great for people who walk their dogs on your lawn, too.

lol!.....not ok,,,seriously!

Tough to tell if it's her, or animals- our squirrels ate all my green tomatoes! I would put a net over "to protect them from the animals"- and secure it well with a rubber band over the branch. This way, if it's her, she'll know you want the grapes and that you think the birds, squirrels, etc. were the culprits. Hopefully that will deter her! You can get the netting at a gardening store- I get mine at Home Depot. It's for birds and I think $5 for a huge roll of it.
Hope you get some grapes this year! I had to resort to powdered fox urine for my tomatoes- since luckily my tomato thieves are furry rodents!

I would assume birds... Bird netting might deter?

Leaving the missing grapes aside for the mean time.
I would be seriously miffed with anyone spraying anything on my property at all without discussing it with me. I would be miffed seeing someone obviously climbing on something in order to access my yard. That in and of itself is completely inappropriate and needs to be addressed ASAP. You do not know if what she is spraying is dangerous to the health of your children or any pets you may have. Those 2 things would have sent me to that neighbors front door as soon as my husband was free to accompany me!
Without seeing her pull the grapes from the vine you do not have a basis to accuse. Simple law. But you can at the same time you bring up her trespassing and spraying, which you did witness, that you noticed that a number of clusters went missing and was wondering if she'd seen anyone/thing take them or if she's seen anyone/thing take them from her yard. This way you leave it open if you had wildlife taking them and you leave it open for her to fess us, assuming she's an honorable person, or at least someone that bends under the pressure of being caught. I would not recommend going into it aggressive and accusing her of stealing the grapes, even if she did, unless you out and out saw her do it. But you do need to be blunt about what you did see which was her climbing on something to access your yard and spraying something on your property without your permission.

If you really are considering getting rid of them ask her if she'd like them. Or even better keep them and ask her if she'd like a start. I don't know much about growing grapes but they have to come from somewhere, either seeds or start from the plants themselves....that seems nicer to me. Or move them so she can't reach them. Put something else there so that way it seems like you have just rearranged things.

If you have not actually witnessed her or anyone else actually STEALING the grapes, you may want to consider it is the wildlife eating them.

We are in a city, with a creek across the street from us. It is like Snow Whites garden over here. Squirrels (they love the pear tree) they take 1 bite and throw them on the ground! They have also eaten almost all of our pecans each year..

Not to mention the birds, the possums and the raccoons.

And so I would be very careful assuming..
Stealing is such a strong word and to accuse without actually witnessing it can be considered slander.