People to Help

I know I would of helped her. I would open the door to a teenage girl, she could also knock on the door and yell to say she needs help. I'm sorry she had to go through that...did you call the police to at least report it?

Wow,Poor girl! I hope she got the license# ! I got chased on a freeway once as a teen, My friend and I drove to the nearest highway patrol office.That got rid of him.
I think this day and age I would do the same thing and not get out of the car until I got there.
In this case she could have used a cell phone while driving to call 911 or "On Star" type of thing.
I hope she never has that kind of problem again !That's very scary....K. P

You should tell her to dial 911 and stay in her car with the doors locked. If she is driving she should have a cell phone with her. if she stopped in an strange neighboorhood and knocked on a door She has no idea whose house it is, it could be a very bad person, or she could jump out of the car to get help and no one is home or will answer the door leaving her exposed to those nuts. Keep the doors locked and call 911

First of all, I am so sorry your daughter experienced this kind of bullying....

We live in the Bay Area and are not immune to htis kind of attack as well. Living on a busy street, I cannot say that I would have opened the door. It really depends on the time and circumstance.

Your daughter should have, pulled over, called 911, using her cell phone, staying in her locked car, leaned on the horn for an extended period of time to get assistance and/or driven to the closest fire or police station. When my kids were younger we roll played scenerios like this and worse, with them and their friends, to get them prepared for what could happen. After reading the newspaper I am sure you can come up with some rolls that have actually happened in your neighborhood.

Wow! Your poor daughter! I would open my door for a teenage girl, especially one who was in tears & explained to me exactly what had happened. If I were her, I would have also gotten a license plate number & called it in for reckless driving & possible DUI. If it happens again, I am sure she could pull into a drive way & ask for help.

I would have most likely answered my door, albeit hesitantly. This is the only situation where a under 18 is allowed to use their cell while driving... and the one time I would TELL my child to use it... to call 911!!! Stopping isn't smart in that situation, you want to try to keep them in front or behind you, not passing, and it was a really dangerous situation. The dispatcher would have given your daughter instructions on how to proceed while sending cars to help her... if the other driver was under the influence, she would have helped to ensure that he was arrested and that no one was hurt because the police were able to find and stop him with her help. Your daughter wouldn't have gotten in trouble and the police would have likely escorted her home and helped to calm and reassure her. I know there is a shortage of cops in our area, but I believe this would've gotten a response faster than most anything else.

Dear W.,
Your poor daughter must have been terrified. I'm so glad she made it home safely.
If this happens again, if possible, she should drive straight to the nearest police station or fire department. If one of those isn't close, she can get to a public place like a mall or a mini mart...somewhere there are lots of people. And lots of witnesses if they continue to harass her once she gets there. She can stay in her car to call 911 and if she doesn't have a cell, she can start honking her horn like crazy or pull up next to someone and ask them to call 911 without getting out of her car. Chances are if she gets somewhere like that and causes a ruckus, the other driver will back off. Plus, most of those places have video surveillance, even in the parking lots and if the maniacs follow her there, they can be caught on camera. In a residential neighborhood, if she happened to see someone outside, she could pull up in front of the house long enough to get the person's attention. Or, pull into a driveway and start honking her horn until someone, even a neighbor came out.
In this day and time, I'd be leary about her getting out of her car. I'd love to say that she would be safe getting out and going to someone's door, but you don't know if the people living in a certain house are safe either. She could try to get someone to come out to her.

If you haven't already done so, you need to file a police report because it's possible these same people have done this to others. Hopefully she was able to stay calm enough to get their license number, but it not, it should still be reported.

We moved to a lovely little town in Oregon. It's one of the nicest suburbs outside Portland. We'd only lived in our new house about a month when I was home alone one afternoon waiting for my daughter's school bus to drop her off. There was a knock on the door and I answered it. It was two young girls, about 15, one of which seemed to be mentally delayed. They said they missed their transit bus and needed to use my phone. I let them in. They dialed a few times, there was no answer and went back outside. My daughter got home and the girls came back. This time, they said they needed a ride. I told them I couldn't give them a ride and I was sure another bus would be by. Then they said they needed money for the bus (which they said they had missed) but they didn't know what the fare was. I told them all I had was a couple dollars in change and they could have it but they became insistant that I drive them somewhere and the one girl was getting very agitated. They demanded that I give them a ride to some town I'd never even heard of. I told them to wait outside while I changed my daughter's school clothes when in reality, I called the police. I figured if they were lost or whatever, the police could see that they got home. I gave a description and an officer was immediately on the phone. He told me to make sure all my doors and windows were locked, to get my daughter to a safe part of the house and stay on the phone with him until another officer arrived. He kept asking me what weapons they had and exactly what time did they get there....my house practically had the SWAT team in front of it in a matter of minutes. My daughter was freaking out, they hauled the girls off, the officer on the phone told me when it was safe to open the door and then I got the butt-chewing of my life for letting those girls in my house. Earlier that day they had escaped a reform school and had stabbed people. They were desperate for a ride all right, and I found out the town they said they needed a ride to didn't even exist. They told me never, EVER to let anyone in my house like that again and I was just lucky they didn't stab me and my daughter for the keys to my car. They were armed and extremely dangerous, but they just looked like girls who needed help. At first. I had no clue they were dangerous, but their stories weren't adding up and I surely wasnt't driving them anywhere.
Every jurisdiction had been searching for them all day and they were finally apprehended...on my front porch.
It's a sad fact, but people have to be careful, that includes your daughter. She's safer staying in her car. Get her a cell phone that she can use hands free and just program 911 so all she has to do is push a button.
If she has certain places that she typically travels, go with her to find the police stations in between there and home so she knows right where to go if this happens again. When you contact the police to make a report, ask them what she should do for her own safety. I'm sure they'll have some great ideas for her.

It's possible they were just joy-riding jerks who thought it was funny to scare her, but you never know. They could have been driving a stolen car.
Not all people in this world are jerks, but women have to be especially careful.
Both the helpers and those who need help.
I'm sure your daughter is pretty shook up, but now you can make a game plan for what to do if it happens again.

Best wishes!

Hi Wendy,

I would have answered the door, if after dark I would have had my husband answer the door. Because she is a female, I would have been less aprehensive than if she were a male. You can go by a person's body language and your own gut feeling on weather to accept her story, And although I probably wouldnt have asked her into my home, I would have certainly felt a need to protect her from the savages! I would have gotten my phone and come out on the porch with her while I called 911. No doubt my husband would have been out there helping as well.

Hi W.,
My mom went through this and when she called the police after getting home, they told her she should have called 911 while it was happening because it is reckless driving. The hands-free law does not apply when dialing 911. Good luck and hopefully this will be the only time this happens!

I don't think that I would have her go to someone elses house. Does she have a cell phone? I think she should have called 911. What they were doing is illegal (not just the pot, but roadrage/agressive driving). Poor girl! People are so mean!

I would have helped your daughter if she stopped at my door in my neighborhood, Even just getting out of her car and knocking on our door would have helped her situation and let those fools who were harrassing her move on to something else. another idea would be to drive to a public place like a mall or post office or grocery store and park in the parking lot and go into one of the stores, or look for a security officer to help too

I had a similar thing happen to me when I was in high school (10 yrs ago) and my friends and I stopped in a strangers driveway and banged on doors until someone opened. We were crying help and a very kind older couple opened their doors, got us inside and allowed us to call the police and our parents. Now the difference is the people chasing us (for no reason) were big huge guys and they were trying to get my one of my friends (a guy) to beat him up. Luckily we were able to get help. Something the cops told me then was to just drive to a police station, if that's not an option dial 911 on ur cell and then go to a populated area, but NEVER go home. If I witnessed that happening, or a scared 16 year old girl knocked on my door, I would help her however I could. I'm so sorry that happened to your daughter. It is a very scary thing to have happen.

Did she have a cellphone? Tell her next time to call the police! Get the make and model of the car and the liscense plate number! OR better yet, get her familiar with where the police department is and do a bee-line to the front door...believe me, their front door is always open! Poor kid, my sympathies!

i think many good people would have helped,but i also think it is safer to stay in the car with the doors locked. call police or drive to the nearest police or fire station.

OMGosh. I have to forward this to my girlfriend because this happened to us in our 20's and we didn't have cell phones back then. This car kept stopping in front of us ON THE FREEWAY!! Everytime we tried to get off the freeway they tried to cut us off so we finally waited until the last minute and flew off the freeway exit and went to a well lit Fast Food Restaurant. We were soo scared. People are crazy. We would not have gone to a neighborhood because we were soo scared and my mom always told me to go to a "well lit" area with lots of people like a 7'11 or a Fast Food Place or a Grocery Store. I think that most people would open their doors but you never know. I always thought I was one of those people but one day my neighbors were fighting and the girlfriend runs out screaming and knocks on my door but the boyfriend is right behind her and gets to my door. I did not open because I have a small child and I was soo scared. I wished I had gotten to the door before he did and then I would have opened though. I did call the police though-immediately.

Hi W.,
Yes, IF she had come to my door I would have helped......I would not have questioned it I would have taken her in & asked questions later....
HOWEVER< that being said,she should have driven to a Fire station/Police Station/Hospital/CHP office.....these are the safest places to go IF soemone is following you.BUT, DO NOT PARK>>>just drive up & start honking your horn!!!!
Get a map & go over her where they are located, especially between her work & school or where ever it was she was coming from last nite...
I have had this happen to me.....Someone "thought" I had cut them off??? Or something I am still not sure.
This person tailgated me on Hwy 80 & hwy 49 (doing the same type of thing,flashing lights stopping in front of me etc) from Grass Valley to Sacramento (10-15 miles if not more). Someone( I think) saw what was going on & eventually a helicopter came over us & shined the spot light on the car behind me. They dead stopped(in a neighborhood) turned around & took off....I shook for a week, and I am NOT 16 (wish I was,no no I don't)....LOL
I was actually driving to the CHP office when they caught up with them. It just so happened that I had locked my cell phone in the trunk with my work out clothes, so I could not even call anyone for help....
I wish I knew the other person who saw what was happening, I still want to THANK them! By that time I know they didn't want to follow me, or make sure I was okay becuz I would have thought the person following me had come back....
Once as a teen, I was walking & had someone follow me( I must have been 16/17 yr's old. I walked in to a car dealership (at night, one of the only places open & all lit up) and stayed there until an older brother could come pick me up. The police were called & he was arrested! Even in the late 70's, the police said he was a known child molester!! I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT LESSON & TEACH IT TO ALL THE GIRL'S/WOMEN IN MY LIFE!!!!!
Go to a place that there are many people,where it is lit up at night....even a Starbuck's (many people sit at tables outside) and pull up right next to them, DO NOT PARK! If someone wanted to take her & she parked they would still have an opportunity before she could get to help...That is why she should go to a Hospital before a private residence, she would have to park, get out of her car, then knock on the door.....most of the time IF she went to a Hospital, she could have pulled in to the emergency area & started Honking her horn to get attention!!!!
I hope all these suggestions help....tell her please, not ALL drivers are A__holes. She will eventually get over the fear.....I did.
Good Luck, and have her talk to ALL her friends too!!!!!

Hi Wendy,

Unfortunately, in California if you rear end another driver it is considered your fault, regardless of the stupid things the other driver was doing. They may have been purposely trying to cause an accident, which again, sounds stupid but has happened before.

I would not recommend pulling over, because I have read too many stories of people car jacked because they pulled over to avoid an accident in similar situations.

The best advice I can think of would be to get the license plate # and call 911 to report a drunk driver. I have had to do this several times and an officer has always responded.

Hope this helps and glad she is ok.

Greetings Wendy: First let me say GOOD FOR YOU to go back to school and for working on becoming a respitory therepist.We have a few in the family and although it is hard to have patients die on you often,the job is worth it
I am told.
We were living on Ehle St., in San Leandro, when at 10 pm 2 girls came pounding on the door- I was timid about letting them in but did call the police and their parents for them-- my husband went into father mode and got them in the house, quietly talked to them til the police got there.
Having sons,brother,brother-in-law and various other relatives as police officers and firemen, I was given great advice for your daughter or anyone else. They were surprized that she could tell about the smells as that is generally hard to do while driving and avoiding another car.
1. First sign of trouble: start driving with your high beams and your flashers this will get a policemans attention.
2. if you don't have a cell phone- then get into a public place of any kind that is well lighted and just blow on the car horn until someone comes to see what is wrong.If you do have a cell phone then call 911 from that place and wait it out til help comes.
There are fire departments and those guys won't put up with much because they have seen to many ugly things from things like this.
I have a adult daughter, that has to drive on a dark country road after she gets off work at 2 am. We have often talked the entire trip so that I know she is alright.
You have no way of knowing if this was a thrill thing or a stolen car with a fruitcake in it. In this day and age anything is possible. Give Thanks, for her safety and that you have one more day to love her. But I was told by an officer that you need to make this public- letter to the editor, telling people. This may save someone else and get the driver caught. Thank God, for the safety of your child. Nana Glenda

Hello W.,
I'm so sorry your daughter had that happen. I'm going to be honest here. Most nights I'm home alone and even if it was a 16 year old girl, I would not let her into my house. Even if my husband was home, I don't think we would let her in. I/we would stand on the porch with her, bring my dog out with me/us, call 911, maybe go over to my neighbors house where I knew a few men live. I guess I watch too many TV shows like Criminal Minds and would be scared there was a larger plot.
I do agree she should have a cell phone for these situations and have the local police number programed into the phone. When you call 911 on your cell phone it doesn't always go to the local police department. I know in Petaluma that it goes to Sacramento, then to a couple other cities before it goes to Petaluma. That takes time that she may not have. So call your police station tomorrow, get the emergency and non emergency numbers she should call and put them in a cell phone for her.
Also, driving to the local police department is the best idea. Actually, a fire department isn't a bad idea either.
Best of luck and I hope this doesn't happen again!
C.

Other people have given lots of good advice, but I have to say that it's just tragic that a 16 year old girl has to be afraid that others won't help her if she knocks on their doors late at night. This is the kind of result we get when we allow ourselves to live in fear. Yes, we've all heard of home invasion robberies, and murders, and we hear gruesome stories every day. Here's my problem with it, and one reason I just don't watch local news, or read "crime reports" in the newspapers: suppose a terrified young girl came to your door late at night asking for help, and you didn't let her in because you were afraid it was a scam, and she got hurt or killed because you didn't let her in. How could you live with that? Sometimes you have to take risks, in order to preserve your human decency. Remember Kitty Genovese?

W., How scary that must have been for your daughter and when you found out about it, for you. This is one case in which I would say forget about what the law says about not using the cell phone while driving... though I agree with that law in general. Most other respondents have already agreed that she needs to have the proper local police number programmed in her phone, as well as being able to call 911. If you haven't already done so, I would suggest that you call the police dept. and make a report of this incident. Give them whatever details you have, even if they are sketchy. That way the police have a record of this incident and can be on the lookout. People who do this sort of harrassment will likely repeat it and the more reports the police have the more likely it is that they will be able to eventually catch these guys and put a stop to their activities.

Wow, W., scary. I think that was good advice to give her. I would have helped her out, and I would think many others would have as well.

I agree with Helen's advice also.

Does she have a cell phone? I think she should have pulled to the side of the road and called for help. Also, you can get callPolice banners to put in your car. I have seen them in the Dear Abby Column.
I, also, think that she should report the situation to the police. Maybe, she can remember enough details about the encounter, so the police can contact these unsafe drivers.

You would be surprised how many people would help. I have always been surprised at how far people have gone to help me when I have been caught in unfortunate circumstances (one time we capsized on the russian river at dusk and had to walk through vinyards to get to the only house we saw- an old lady left one group of us unattended in her house alone while she drove the other group back to the campsite). Although I still think this lady was crazy for trusting us; I am grateful, and she was correct to trust us. I think what you have to remember is that we teach our children to be safe and skeptical, but that sometimes in the end you do have to trust other people.
Many people may be cautious, and may not let her in the house, but most people would probably be happy to sit outside with her and let her use a cell phone or call the police for her.
We need to teach our children to be safe but we also have to teach them about human kindness and allow them to develop some ability to trust-- this is what seems to be missing from our childrens lives lately with all the scary stories and extreme caution. Its sad and unfortunate, and sadly necessarily in the world we live in.

HI W.,

I am so sorry that happened to your daughter, poor girl. I have a couple suggestions. First you all should have the main line to dispatch to the local police departments programed into your cell phones. Tell her to immediately call the police next time.

I would not suggest that she stop at a house. You don't really know if they are home or if it is a safe house. My suggestion would be to go to a gas station or other well lit place where there are a lot of people around.

Of course she could always drive to the local police station.

J. W

I'm sorry to hear this happened to your daughter... what a scary thing to have happen to anyone. It sounds to me like they may have been trying to get her to hit them (like another post said), it would have been considered her fault. It also could have been something even worse like a gang initiation (probably not, but you never know). I'm probably over protective, but this is what I think:
Pulling over: Not a good idea! Not knowing who the people are or why they are doing this... She can be taken, raped, beat up or killed.
Stopping at some house: Also not a great idea... if this was your ONLY option then maybe... but this day and age... (enough said). You don't want her to wind up in harms way when trying to get out of a difficult situation. That's sad that we can not even trust our neighbors these days, but it's always better safe than sorry.
Parking Lot: People have been known to be raped or kidnapped in parking lots so I personally wouldn't recommend this unless again, it was the ONLY choice.

I would get her a cell phone if she doesn't already have one (even if you get it for emergency use only). I would have her (if this ever happens again), call the police and give them her location and the cars license plate number.. they WILL respond. If she knows where the local police station is, she could drive there and honk her horn or get out and run in. If there isn't a close police station, then a hospital would also work. I really hope she doesn't ever encounter anything like this again. Very Scary.

Hi W.,

I would advise your daughter to stay strong and to respond to situations and not react to them.

Make sure she has a cell phone on her and give her the number for the police dept in your area so it is logged in her phone. If this ever happens again or any situation that is harming her if she is driving have her pull over if she can get a license number always have her write it down them call the police and give them the number and let them know there are some men that are harrassing her in the car and they will get pulled over and arrested.

Make sure she stays strong and focuses on what she needs to to. That is very important.

Good luck.

N. Marie

I would have offered to call 911 for her. I'd advise her to do so if this happens in the future. I'm sorry this happened to her. It must have been super scary.

How terrifying. You should file a police report. It sounds like they may have been in a stolen car since most people with expensive cars probably wouldn't risk crashing. The police probably won't be able to do anything, but you never know, the way they were acting, they may have been arrested for something else.

Figuring out contingency plans for different situations may help your daughter feel more secure. It is very unlikely that this will happen again unless they know her. Your advice to find a house and go knock on the door is a good one. If there are people home and she can see for sure they are there. Finding a public place like a gas station would also work.

When I was 18 in SF, I was housesitting in an unfamiliar neighborhood. I ended up on the wrong bus. There was a strange man talking to himself. I got off the bus in a residential neighborhood and the crazy guy got off too. Pretty soon I was sure he was following me. Only one house had someone home, an elderly woman, and she thought it was a home invasion scam. I convinced her to call the police and let me in her gate. The man was reaching through the gate, talking about fruit loops with the old lady hitting his hands with a broom. The police came and they knew the guy, said he was entirely harmless. It was a freaky experience, but nothing like that has ever happened to me again.

When in doubt, find people, call the police, and act like you aren't afraid. Many people will back down if they don't get the emotional response they are looking for, unless they are mentally ill, in which case they are probably harmless. I've been told that if I had confronted the mental guy and told him to go away in authoritative voice he probably would have gone away. Hard to have the presence of mind.

W.,
I'm sorry to hear that this happened to your daughter. I hope she is alright. I think that the fact that she did not stop in a neighborhood is a GOOD THING because she could have been approached or attacked as soon as she got out of her car or while waiting for someone to come to the door. A better thing would be to go to a fire station, a police station, or a hospital, run in and ask for help. I don't know how you feel about teenagers and cell phones, but I think that any teen (especially a girl) should have one, even if only for an emergency. That way she could have called the police from her car. If she had gotten a flat tire or car trouble during the incident and without a cell phone she would have been a sitting duck... The guys were probably just having some fun at her expense and probably would not have done anything to harm her, but you just never know. If she sees them again, I would encourage her to write down their license plate number and report them to the police dept immediately.

W.,

In addition to the great advice already given, she could also go to a busy parking lot and just honk the horn or drive to a local hospital as well- advise her to go anywhere that is well lite and busy.

We once had a distressed young woman show up on our porch. We lived at the edge of town and did not have neighbors other than a disabled woman who could see the front of our house. It was at least after 8 as the kids were in bed but must have been before 10 or 11 as my husband and I were both still up. She was in tears and told us her boyfirend kicked her out and she wanted to come in to call a cab as she was afraid to wait for the bus. My husband stayed on the porch with her and we brought her the phone and let her use it and offered to call the police if she wanted. She just wanted to call a cab which we let her do and stayed with her until the cab arrived. We did not let her inot our home but might have if the boyfriend had shown up. She was also most likely in her 20s. But we also did not leave her alone.

I would be apprehensive about having an unknown teen on my doorstop. Unfortunately these days, there are too many incidents of someone appearing to be in need and turning out to be the bad guys. Though if I did, I would definitely offer to call the police for her.

However, I would recommend that should this happen again to your daughter, or even an adult, that she drive to the nearest police/fire station if there is one close. Or even go ahead and make a call on her cell (assuming she has one) reporting the other car with make/model/plate number to the police. Don't have her just stop in some random neighborhood though, you can never be sure that once she gets out of the car that the other people won't do the same. If either of the above are not possible, have her drive to well lit and populated area (meaning lots of people outside!)so she can stop and ask for help.
I understand her being so upset during/after this incident, I hope it does not occur again.

I tried several times to respond to this yesterday and it wouldn't let me... so here I am again.

I remember as a teen riding my bicycle around and having this man follow me in a car... it was creepy. What I did was just stop at a house, park the bike and go up to the door and he took off. Scared the heck out of me.

If this happens again, if at all possible, she needs to get the license plate & description of the car and immediately, if not sooner, call 911. Then pull into an empty driveway and see if they leave. Laying on the horn is a good way to get attention too.

Oh my gosh-I am so sorry for your daughter. That is so scary. Does she have a cell phone? These kind of things run through my mind all the time. I always think I would call 911 and head to the nearest police station. I have also thought about going to a random house. I would let someone in. I would probably follow them home myself after the incident resolved to make sure they got home safe. I am so sorry you daughter had to go through this. I have had this problem during the day on the freeway and called 911. It is a scary thing. I am glad she made it home and safe!!

W.,

I am sorry that this happened to your daughter. I wouldn't suggest that she stop at someone's house---it could be unsafe, dangerous dogs etc. you never know....but I would tell her that she could always drive to the nearest police,fire station or hospital and ask for help. Program her phone with the local police number as well as 911.

Molly

I am not the first to say give kids cell phones for recreational use and think too many people are giving them too young before we know the consequences of their use near the brain( research around tumors in process)...BUT in this world of global bullying, I am not sure I would send my child...older out there with out a cell or a chaperone...or friend.

Who knows what the other people are...never tell her to park..

Also, sad as this is to say, I would not open the door for anyone I did not know. I would call 911 if I saw it or someone knocked on my door though.

I am a very helping person but my home is where I mama my babies and keep their nest safe. I know of 6 break ins with bogus stories...current...

Blessings...There are pay as you use programs for economics

I will pray for her peace and yours

Dear W..

First of all, let me say how sorry I am that your little girl had to go through that. Unfortunately, there are those type of nut jobs out there. I have personally been under VERY similar circumstances. I was on my way home to pick up my little girl from daycare when this a**hole infront of me got out of his truck (we were stopped at a red light) and walked around his car, pointed his finger at me as if it were a gun and simulated a shot... yeah, scary as all hell. I stayed in my car, wrote down his plate # and called my husband, told him the situation --so he knew where I was and which roads i was taking, then I dialled 911. Told the dispatcher the situation and they sent an officer to "follow us", as it turns out, they pulled him over a few minutes later for a "routine traffic stop". The bottom line is, she needs to remain calm and either call 911 or drive to a police or fire station to get help. She may not only save her life, but some one else's if these idiots are intoxicated. Best wishes

B. H.

HI W.,
Does your daughter have a cell phone? If this were to happen again I would get the license plate number and call the police! I have ! I would do it again!
It's hard to say if I would help your daughter. I would love to say that I would, because I have a 16 year old, and I hope someone would help her, but kids these days. They can be sneaky and try anything to let our guards down and we never know what they are up to.
I hope your daughter does not have to go through this again. Its scary. It was for me! and I"m 45 God Bless

Hi Wendy,
your daughter must have been so scared. I am a grown adult and I would have been terrified. I can say that I know for sure that I would have let her into my house. I once had a 15 year old girl come knocking at my door saying that her boyfriend was beating on her and when he fell asleep she got out. We let her in and called the police. We were glad to help her but I will say that our door was not the first that she had knocked on. I was sad to hear this but I understand people are scared these days. My advice is to have her call 911 on her cell phone, if she has one. The police will talk her through what she should do. I wish that the world was safe for all our children and other people would look out for safety of all kids.

Do you have family members to stay with for awhile? A separation would surely show your husband that you are serious and will not put up with his behavior anymore.
I watch the t.v. show, "Marriage, For Better, For Worse, For Keeps" on the Christian Channel. One wants to keep their marriage going yet do not need to suffer like you and your kids are by his drinking and behavior. Or would he leave for awhle? Prayers for you.
F.