Pizza Preference Reality Check

When I was getting married, someone gave me some very wise advise about compromises in marriage. He said that we often think a compromise is when each side gives up a little in a conflict to win. However, in marriage, often times compromising is allowing one spouse to get everything they want in a particular conflict and knowing that he/she will do the same for you in a different situation.

Sounded like he was being kind of selfish... but I imagine that we all get that way sometimes. I'd let it go and file it under the, "Don't sweat the small stuff" category.

I would have gotten the Little Caesar's pizza for the kids if I know they
like it because my ultimate goal is to feed them at a normal time
BEFORE their sports.

This way they have energy to play & engage.

Hubby can get eat this or get his own, too.

I'm more in tune w/what the kids eat esp the little one because I'm w/the
lil tyke all day, every day.

When my SD changes eating habits, she'll tell dad & he'll pass on to me.
I try to please the masses. Not always easy in my household but I do
try. My reason being I want everyone to eat & everyone to be happy w/
what they are putting into their bodies for fuel. So I try.

Maybe I didn't read this right...but it looks to me like DH offered to do his own thing for dinner (because he wanted the kind of pizza he likes), and you wanted to eat as a family.

Am I missing something?

So why not let him?

I'm a pizza lover and super picky about the kind I get. No one else likes the kind that I like. I'd rather have what I want...it's a treat to me. And I'm perfectly happy to have it alone rather than make the family do what I want.

My response here would have been go ahead and take care of yourself, I'll handle the kids.
I just find it hard to believe that an extra $13 pizza to feed the you and the kids put you that far out of budget for an upcoming trip.

Just looks to me like you made this one an issue where it didn't need to be.

When we drove from Chicao to New Jersey a few years back, hubby insisted n taking us to a nice restaurant for dinner. Our plan was to leave after naps, drive for a few hours, then stop for dinner.

The place hubby picked was 30 minutes from the highway!!!!!! I've done the Jersey drive lots of times, it's a long 15-17 hours. You never get off for stops. I tried to tell hubby this, but he thought he was doing me a favor by finding a restaurant with a vegetarian selection. It was a NICE restaurant, the kind you can take little kids to but usually don't.

Needless to say, hubby and I disagree on these things.

My hubby will not just eat bad food to eat food. He'd rather not eat.

If it was me in that situtation I would have gotten the kids what they liked and let your DH get his own. Since no one else likes it there is no reason to pay extra for everyone to eat it. When we are doing that kind of stuff we do our best to think of the kids. And if we have to go two places so be it. I am usually the one that does not want the cheeper stuff but will not make the boys go get food they really don't like because I want it.

See I'd have not even asked his opinion. I'd have just picked up the $5 quickie and been done with it. My husbands not a fan of it either but the kids like it. If I'm feeling generous I might stop and grab him something separate but that doesn't happen often.

Okay, so maybe that's not the right answer, but since I'm usually in charge of meals, I just plan them, and what's there is there, eat or don't eat. That's for everyone in my house, husband included, he makes request of course and I always try to honor them, but at the end of the day I try to make sure the majority is pleased.

My husband is getting better, overall, but I am still way more in-tuned with what our kids need.

On the weekends, I'm usually thinking about what we're doing in terms of bed time or meal times or whatever else they need. If my husband wants to grill, it's really up to me to make sure he starts the charcoal by 5:00 so he's cooking by 5:30 so we're eating by 6:00 so the kids are in the tub by 7:00 so their reading books by 8:00. He never remembers on his own. One time it was 6:00, and I said, "You haven't lit the charcoal yet?" That was a big wake-up call for me.

He just doesn't think about things that way. Our boys are 4 and 7. Our 7 year old can adapt better and sleep in if he's really tired, but our 4 year old gets up every day around 6:30 not matter what time he goes to bed. So we are the ones who need to make sure he gets enough sleep by making sure he gets to bed at a decent hour.

Anyway, yes, I feel your pain. For us I think it's actually a little easier to take care of the kids when we're on vacation because we are all together, rather than me and the kids doing one thing and my husband doing something else. But I do know what you mean.

In perfect agreement - heck no!:)
Compromise - you bet!
For the most part hungry kids tend to win on road trips or busy days. As old as my kids are, they still get EXTREMELY cranky if not fed.
However, we all come to an agreement, no one person "wins" if someone is extra emotional or determined to eat a certain thing, then we try to accommodate, but if it meant driving 30 min out of our way or delaying our arrival, well, tough. We teach by modeling and if my husband threw a fit or insisted on a certain thing that was ridiculous, I'd call him on it.

before you head out on this family road trip, you and hubs need to talk and then lay the ground rules with the kids, too (like we are NOT getting a snack at EVERY rest stop/gas station OR we can get one snack when we get gas, but not when we stop for the bathroom, whatever you rules are then you and hubby have to follow them, too:)

Good luck and have fun! Having driven to Grand Canyon and Yellowstone (big car trips) the ground rules saved our sanity.

Regardless of what time you eat (and I vote for your way...dinner at a normal time, a small snack later if necessary), it makes sense to satisfy the masses (in this case, you and kids) especially when the masses aren't asking for anything special, it's closer and less expensive. Now, if you were having Little Caesar's on a regular basis, your hubby would have a legitimate gripe. Couldn't he have eaten a salad or sandwich instead of running across town for his own special, expensive pizza?

I'll answer in reverse, sort of: I'm the 'picky' one in my family ( mainly because I have to follow a restricted diet). I would have done my best to take care of 'me' and let the needs/preferences of the group take precedence in this situation. Especially if it's a *taste* preference and not a bona fide, medical need.

Seriously. When I go out with a group of people, I eat before I go so that I can nibble on whatever is available that I *can* eat. If it's a group gathering, I check with the host if I can bring a dish that I know I can eat to share with the group and which works with their menu. If we are on the road, I make a sandwich to take with me, something that has enough protein to get me through. I pack foods that I know I can eat easily. ( A 7-11 won't have soy or coconut yogurt, but my grocery store does.) I do not go out without a protein in my purse (almonds, usually-- they're wonderful) and a banana.

I consider it my job to ensure that when our options are going to be difficult, I have myself taken care of. So, in the case you describe, if my husband thought something was the best choice (preferable, economical) for he and Kiddo given the situation, I would have tried to choose what's easier for them. It's easier for me to say "why don't you order a small and get me a breadstick", eat my almonds and then eat something more substantial at home later.

Maybe it's selfish but I would do the same thing. I am a food snob and would never eat Little Ceasars pizza. It's like cardboard with sauce. ick I would prob pick up a salad at the grocery store and not eat the pizza.

We have a crazy schedule this month for sure. We are in the vehicle almost all of the day. My first priority is the kids eating of course. I agree with you. You should have just went and got the pizza you 3 wanted. I think if hubby uses his money for his own food since he doesn't eat with you then he can have what "he" wants. That's his choice after all.

Tell him the kids don't like that pizza and be done with it. He might have done something totally different if he'd been given the choice.

I also think that you're focusing on vacation a bit much. The few dollars you might have saved last night came at a high cost if you and hubby were arguing over it.

This was altogether overly complicated. I would have just brought some snacks and drinks... fruit and water, maybe a couple of sandwiches to share. That's what I usually do on busy evenings. Then we do a late supper and keep it simple since it ends up close to bed time.

I do try to plan ahead as much as possible, because days and evenings like that are terrible for my CFS and fibro.

I would have got the $5 pizza & if he picked up his own later, the kids could have had a piece of that at 8:00.
I agree that a 4:00 snack would have worked & all could eat later.

We eat dinner here most nights in the summer at 8or9 if at 4 my kid is hungry she gets a very small snack n then we all eat dinner together especially when everyone is home

I see my previous self in this post. However, after 12 years of marriage and 4 (going on five) kids, I have accepted these types of things and learned what works. Sometimes I don't give my husband an option; I just tell him the plan. And if he doesn't like the plan and chooses an alternative, then I have to deal.
This was my big "AHA!": The kids and I usually eat before he gets home from work (his end time is unpredictable). I make him a late plate, and he usually just eats part of it or makes a grilled cheese. He never complains but just makes his alternative (I don't let the kids do this). I used to be so offended that he never ate my roast (or whatever meat), but one day he just said "hey, I am a surgeon and cut on people all day; when I get home I don't really like to see it or eat it". Well, I guess from that point on I loosened up a bit--how could I blame him? But the kids and I like it, and he doesn't mind that I make it.