Playground Rant

As long as the older kids aren't being nasty with their language or taking up all the equipment or using the pole for their stripper moves (yes I did see a mom teaching her daughter some moves one day) then I have no problem with them at the park.

I tell them to move on and let the kids who are supposed to be there play. They leave in short order when a grown up tells them to.

I hear you, sister! We were at fall festival a few weeks ago with two open-air bounce house things. One was reserved for smaller kids, one for bigger kids. On the one for smaller kids. lots of parents were--not just helping their tots--but bouncing and have a gay ol' time--until one of them fell on my daughter. I was MAD. She said sorry, and I just walked away with my stunned daughter in my arms. I talked to the people in charge and they were most helpful and promised to try to keep parents from bouncing on the small children's bouncer.

At a playground, it's harder. I know what you mean about that, too. I spoke to some boys in the pool this summer who were roughhousing really inappropriately and making it impossible for little kids to have fun.

My bottom line is--you're not alone, it bothers me to. Say something. I guess I don't mind if they (bigger kids) are there but I wil remind them that there are little kids around. At the same time there are playgrounds that suggest age 5 as the proper age for the equipment and if we are playing on that and some bigger kids come (my DD is 3) I tell her she needs to go back to the small kids playground because this one is for them.

Eh, a few years ago when my son and his friends were 13/14 I had taken a bunch to a movie and lunch and on the way home we passed a local play ground - they begged to go swing. So we did. Were they "too big" for the playground - physically, maybe so, but mentally, at 13, they are still very much children and truly enjoyed the time just being kids and swinging and sliding.

However, I ensured they let the truly little kids go first and played "nice" with others.

So I think it depends on how the older kids are acting. If they are being respectful and considerate of the little ones, then they should all be able to share. If they are being rude and raucous - then I think you are well within your right to gently say something to them and/or their parents.

I would say they are separate issues. The park is a public park and open to everyone. The structures are meant for a certain age, but that doesn't dis-allow the big kids from being on them. That said, it seems like common sense to move somewhere else when the little ones show up. Parents are responsible for enforcing/re-inforcing this when they're around, but that doesn't mean the kids can't play in the same area. And the kids may look 14-15, but that doesn't mean they are. My son is 4.5 years old, but hn't mean they are. My son is 4.5 years old, but he looks like he's 6.

In the mall, the mall is public, but the play area is for a specific age group and I would complain to management about that. The mall probably wouldn't want to deal with potential lawsuits from big kids causing issues.

As long as they aren't being dangerous or disrespectful I don't see the problem (?) My kids have grown up with several much older cousins (playing in significantly smaller confines than the local playground) and they're no worse for the wear.
These poor kids are probably just bored, which is kind of sad, but unless they are being mean or inappropriate, why does it matter if they are hanging around the playground? They could be doing a lot worse :(

yeah it bugs me....but at the same time those height restrictions always effect my 8 year old who is still very much a kid......just because she has the height of a preteen doesnt mean she doesnt want to play.

Just be glad the teens are sliding and swinging and not smoking pot, spraying graffiti and having sex there., lol

I have a son that by the time he was ten he looked like he was 14 or 15. It's heard because people expect him to act much older than he is. Keeping that in mind, he is expected to look out for kids much smaller than he is. I would have no problem with older kids playing on the equipment if they were mindful of those around them and they were not going to damage the equipment. In this day and age I would rather they play at the play ground than to do other things I have seen teenagers do.

If the boys were being to rough in front of me I would ask them to watch out for the younger kids. I am not one to be shy and I am rarely afraid of confrontation. I also don't care if the parents are near by. I figure that if the parents don't want me to say something then they better be taking care of it themselves.

I just go up on the structures with my daughter and help her use her voice, "Excuse me" so that she can go down the slide or play on the bars. I just smile and coach my daughter and if she has trouble, may be intimidated, and ask them if my daughter can come on up and do her thing. I usually get a great response, very respectful and sometimes even helpful.

I think its wonderful that the kids want to be... KIDS. I lcan be found crossing the monkey bars, sliding or on the rock wall.

If you become involved, you can send a strong and kind message to both your daughter and the older kids.

I really doubt that 14 or 15 year old's would go to the park with their mom and play of the playground equipment, unless they were developmentally delayed. One of my brothers has always been bigger, from the time he was a toddler, takes after our dad, a BIG guy. I recall a day we got on a city bus and the driver practically had a heart attack because my innocent 3 year brother was walking to the back of the bus without paying, something he didn't need to do until he was 6. I explained that he was only in preschool and the driver doubted me, but it was true. We had the same problem wherever we went, he was expected to pay, so we actually began to carry his birth certificate around. In grade school he looked like a junior high student, and in 6th grade he looked like he should be in high school.

If you are 100% sure that these kids are over 12 (remember, technically they can be on the equipment until the day before they turn 13) call the parks and recreation department and let them know. Maybe they can have someone come and see what's going on and talk to them and their mothers. Otherwise I'd find some different playgrounds. (And I say this having one behind our back yard, we even go to different cities, we like the variety.)

It happens here at our playground all the time. We are fortunate that we have one that is geared to toddlers that none of the big kids want to hang out at, but my little ones are getting bigger and would like to use the funner toys.

I don't think I would have a problem asking them to pick one thing to play on and letting the littler ones have the rest. Kind of like, "Hey, if you guys don't mind would you keep it to right around this jungle gym?" Never rude or mean, but you don't hurt anything by asking.

The only time I ever got frustrated was when they were running around like crazy on the big wooden play structure and there were all these little ones around and they were jumping over and around the littles pushing them out of the way. We simply left, because if their parents were there and saw it and didn't care, then nothing we would have said would have mattered and my kids safety was a priority at that point.

I feel ya, DVMMOM!

Any time I have seen this, I talk to the kids. I find that most kids will either leave or calm down. My daughter is 11 years old, very large for her age. She still plays in the tunnels and I make it clear to her she's too old and that she can not do it if anyone thinks she's being rough or if she's just in the way. But my daughter gathers up the kids, makes up games, and helps the smaller kids. You just have to be bold if needed and remember that not all kids are like that.

You should have seen my nephew and my niece when they were 12. They totally looked like they could be in high school. They were very much theor ages, just look mature.

You will look back on this and realize, when others think your child is too old for something.. Wow, now I get it.. I promise..

Yes, I have unfortunately seen overaged kids & teens at our local playground, too, and it bothers me quite a bit. My daughter thankfully hasn't been hurt by any of them either, but I have seen one run into & knock over a toddler. :( Most of the time these kids are there without any adults accompanying them, but sometimes there is an adult with them. (Obviously an adult without any common sense or common courtesy, as you said!) I haven't done anything about it yet, but if it becomes more frequent, I (and my fellow Mom friends) plan on going to the town civic association meeting. The civic association is responsible for the upkeep of the park, so hopefully they can find a way to enforce the rules better. Unfortunately this may be tough to do. Find out who or which organization is responsible for the park maintenance, and inform them about the problem. Hopefully they can do something before a small child gets injured. Good luck!

There are fifth and sixth graders at my daughter's school -- kids who are 11 and 12 -- whom I have mistaken, inside the school building, for teenagers from the high school next door. I didn't mistake them for middle schoolers; I thought they were high schoolers! I thought maybe they were in the elementary school doing service hours or something like that. Then on other days I'd see them with certain teachers and classes and realize: They are elementary students, but very tall and/or very mature-looking.

So I wouldn't necessarily assume that a child who appears to be 14 is actually 14, after those experiences.

One other small thing to keep in the back of your mind: We don't always know every child's specific circumstances. While some of the kids you're seeing may indeed be 14 and just running wild where they shouldn't be, others could be 14 or 15 (or younger, and big) and developmentally disabled in ways that do not show outwardly, but which make it more appropriate for them to be at a younger kids' playground. Yes, they may be physically large but developmentally still "playground age" and their parents are desperately wanting to get them out of the house and get them to burn off some energy. I've encountered kids who seemed to old or big to be somewhere or doing some activity that seemed too "young" for them and later I observed and realized they might have developmental issues that meant they were still enjoying the younger stuff-- and needed the exercise.

But in those cases parents or caregivers would be with them. Where it's very clearly older kids with zero adults, I would bet that loudly saying, "Hey, where are your parents? Are you older than 12?" might get them heading off the playground pretty soon.

I sometimes take an opportunity to "reframe" a situation, saying something to the kids or their parents like "It's nice to have older kids here sometimes to help the littler kids," with a friendly smile. If kids are getting too rough, I would definitely step in and point out that little kids are at risk, and ask them to play elsewhere. I've never had ongoing issues after intervening.

I think you or I or another thoughtful adult can help set the tone. If we sit silent and tense and glare at the older kids, we are tacitly suggesting that they can do as they wish, even if other people don't like it. I prefer to be a bit more proactive, and intercede the moment a situation begins to look questionable.

Just wanted to tell you that I understand where you are coming from. I took my 2 year old to the park and a couple of 15 year old kids - boyfriend and girlfriend - were sitting down blocking the entrance to a slide being all lovey dovey with one another. I didn't say anything at the time, just took my daughter down and had her play on the swings instead. Looking back I should have asked them to move since they were blocking the slides. But I don't get why they were there - plenty of places in the park to sit, and you have to choose the kiddie slides?? Very irritating. In my opinion teens do not belong on the playground equipment with small children around.

I don't know that I'd want to "do" anything, really.
I think if they are that rough and oblivious to the smaller kids, then you're better off taking your smaller kid somewhere safer.
I agree that I think it's odd that a 14 or 15 year old kid would be at a playground with their mom with them.
Maybe it was a pit stop between school and a practice of some sort?
That seems really strange to me.
When I've had my kid places, it seems like the teens have been aware, respectful and even helpful.

Enforce the RULES???? If you or dad can not get the older kids to leave, call the police or the mall security!

Blessings....

14 and 15 year olds do not usually have common sense, and if their parents are watching they are bigger idiots. I am sure they do not realize they could endanger the younger children they usually are wrapped up in their own fun. I think if you are concerned you have every right to you ask them to please watch out for the younger children.

The only thing that really bothers me is what comes out of their mouths. : /
...And the ones-really kids of all ages-doing dangerous stuff that could harm the other kids should they fall. :(
Don't get me started about the mall places...grrr.

As long as they aren't rough housing, it doesn't bother me. I know when my son was a lot younger, these 2 girls wouldn't let him on the slide. He climbed over them and got on and they weren't too happy about it. I've also seen where the older kids try to start up a game of tag or Hide and Seek with all the other kids.

yes!!!!! I had to step in one time,because they started throwing a football back and fourth over the kids and almost hit my son in the head and then mommy bear stepped in without thought and said you guys need to take that down the way somewhere. The kid actually was very nice,and he asked his friends to follow him to another area. I didnt care if the mom was there or not I didnt think twice and never looked around before I did it. Like,the previous poster mentioned if they are being respectful I see no prob.I even like to swing and slide with and without my son lol,kid at heart. But,if they are literally running over the little kids , causing danger then yes they need to be told. and if the mother and gonna do it(if she is there)I sure am going to protect my child.

I've noticed it but haven't done anything about it. I would definitely tell the mall about it, because that is a problem.

Yeah, I've def. noticed this at various parks esp. on the weekends & evenings when their not in school.

What did I do about it? Well, mainly avoidance of taking my DD during those peak times. Otherwise, if I see a bunch of kids playing that are too big we just leave & find another park. One time I said out loud "come on sweetie it looks like this playground isn't safe for you due to too big kids running around and you could get hurt. It's not your fault but we need to find a safe play area for you today". I said this while looking at them. Normally I don't do stuff like that but they almost ran into her about 2-3 x's and other parents kept telling them hey, you need to watch out for the little ones. They weren't looking out at all, it was like they didn't care if they ran over the little kids. They were teens playing in the tot lot!!! and my DD was only about 2 1/2 at the time!!!