Playgrounds Make Me So Nervous!

I think what you are feeling is pretty normal. Some of those slide are very tall and at 2 1/2 she is still very small and probably slightly uncoordinated compared to an older child. I don't see anything wrong with spotting her on really tall stuff and as she grows you'll see there's less of a need and you'll be able to relax more about it. I have 3 kids and pregnant with my 4th and I still spot the wee little ones on high stuff, and my older kids I know are fine and they happily climb and play. So the years of spotting did no harm to them, in other words. You're just a careful mama and there's nothing wrong with that and she will know you are always going to be there for her. ;)

You know I just heard on the radio this morning a story that says that children whose parents back off and let their little ones take small risks, usually end up taking more risks as adults and thereby are more successful. Those whose parents don't let them take risks, become complacent and are not as successful.

Who knows? Just what I heard.

I just didn't take dd to the bigger playgrounds until she was bigger. Or hubby hovered if the only playground available was a big one.

What if she fell off? More than likely she will get the wind knocked out of her, sit a second and get up and go back up. There is a small chance she will land funny and break and arm or leg. So she gets to wear a cast and can never fly supersonic planes or be an astronaut, chances are she wouldn't anyway, right? Even more unlikely, like one in a million, she would land in such a way that could cause permanent injury or death.

I am not one to sit there and worry about the one in a million. Just isn't worth the stress.

That is so sad. You can't enjoy that time on the playground. What might help is for you to think about how even at 2 1/2 she has some sense of where her body is. She is protecting herself. She won't venture thru that space. It's highly unlikely that she would fall thru those spaces.

And if it would happen the playground is "padded" with wood chips or rubber matting. The likely hood of her getting seriously hurt is also slim.

You just cannot live your life in fear that something might happen. To the extreme would be never venturing out of your house because something might happen.

I suggest that you start desensitizing yourself. Force yourself to step a bit further away and keep reminding yourself that she is safe. Bit by bit step further and further away over time. The experience of nothing happening will reinforce your positive thoughts that she's OK and eventually you'll start to feel that she's OK.

With my grandkids I did feel anxious at first. Over time I was able to relax. I did it by saying to myself, she is OK.

If this doesn't help then I suggest counseling to learn why you're feeling so anxious. It's important to let our babies explore and do this sort of thing.

Why on earth do they make SO many wide openings, on the highest part of the structure? I hated those, too, when DD was younger.

2 years old is not an age where kids have that sense of depth, common sense, self awareness, or the knowledge not to step off that ledge. For someone to imply that they do, and that you're paranoid, is ridiculous. Sure, let your kid run like a wild banshee and fall 5 feet and get a broken limb, or smash her face, sounds great to me (not!). Don't make anyone here, or anywhere else, make you feel bad for being a good, involved mom.

Do they not have the age designated play areas at your park? Here, there is one for the smaller kids, and one for 5 and up.

I am not an overly paranoid parent, but I agree with your feelings on this. You are doing a great job - never second guess your mommy instincts. It's easy to say that there's a slim chance of something happening in many situations, but that easily changes when your child becomes that slim chance.

It's normal to be a little nervous with a very young first child but I would try to mellow out a little for your sake and hers. Like Jo said, what's the worst thing that could happen?

My husband was more of a worrier with that stuff when mine were little. If I had a moment of What if? I just reminded myself that driving to the park is FAR more dangerous then playing there.

Here's a great article about risk-taking and play, and how it is so important to a child's growth: http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2008/aug/03/schools.c...

Of course you're hesitant, because this is your first child, and she is precious to you. This is step 1 in a long list to come of events that will happen that will make you nervous. Just realize that if she got up there by herself, she is likely able to get down by herself, and although she's young, she's not stupid. Taking risks, and sometimes failing, is how kids learn. It is critical to them that we as parents allow them to take these risks. Sure, we might be scared that they'll hurt themselves, but we HAVE to let them try. Allowing them to take risks shows that we have confidence in their abilities, and that we trust them to make these decisions. With some kids, hovering may in fact cause them to take risks they wouldn't otherwise (I have one child who is something of a rebel, believe me, I know! The closer I get, the bigger the risks she'll take!).

Just acknowledge that although your feelings are normal, your child's behavior is normal, too. It's hard to take that step back, but she will be better off if you do. Don't let on that you're afraid of what she's doing, and allow yourself to be amazed at what this little person can do.

You are a Mom. Your child is young. You are worrying about her safety.
All parents have those feelings.

At my kids school, when my daughter was in 4th grade, her friend fell from the jungle gym on the playground. She broke her arm.
This is a 4th grader.
Sure, they know about safety etc. but accidents happen. They happen at any age. Even Elderly people, fall or get hurt.
Age is irrelevant.
So YOU do what you are comfortable with, and what YOU want to do with your child, and that is YOUR choice because you are your child's Mom. It is, okay.
Sure, some say you gotta let a kid just do whatever and don't hover like a Helicopter. But just do what YOU see fit.
Your sister laughs about it. That is her. Not you.
But try not to get too paranoid... because that feeling can be endless.
Just keep common sense, and per how you know YOUR child.
All kids are different.
Just do what YOU see fit.

I have a son who is now 6, and boys are very physical and play so differently than girls. (I have a girl too). But I know him and I know what *I* feel is best, and per safety and I do it. I am me. I am HIS Mom. And I do what I see fit AND by my instincts for MY kids. But I don't keep him in a bubble. He even has been into skateboarding since last year. Fine. He has fallen and gotten scraped. Fine. He's fine and I am fine, and we just teach our kids about safety or about common sense to the best of our and their ability.

I'm like that too. I used to circle the jungle gym while they played, sure at any moment tragedy would strike. And at 2 1/2 it could. I think in year or so you will notice your daughter has more coordination and is better able to navigate the dicier spots on the jungle gym, and you may feel more comfortable watching from the side lines. I still spot my 4 yo son when he is climbing some of those open ladders, climbing walls, or spider web things. Trust your gut Mama, good job watching out for your little one.

Those high playground playsets with openings where they can easily fall off drive me nuts, too. At that young an age, I would always climb the playset with the child to make sure they didn't fall or get bumped off by older kids. I don't think that's unreasonable at that age. You're not crazy, you're smart.

I am the same way. I have three boys, my oldest was fairly mild mannered and wasn't a "dare devil" the younger two......Oh my!!!

Letting them "explore" isnt optional for my last two. They would and have tried to step right off those openings 10 feet in the air. I can't imagine that a fall from that high would just cause a scare! My sister fell off the middle of our slide as kids and broke her collar bone! So, I am with ya! WHY do they have to make all these opening w/ firemen poles to slide down on playgrounds? Sure maybe they should be older to get up there. But lets face it, kids figure out early that "Hey that play area is bigger and better!"

I take my kids often to the park, but I won't lie. Its stressful LOL

Playgrounds are rated for the age of kids. The playgrounds with the tall structures like what you are describing are usually rated for 5 and up. The little short play areas are rated for younger kids. I am not a paranoid mom, but I always spotted my little one when he was well under the rated age for the play structure.

I think of spotting as being the same as having a spotter for gymnastics or a belay for rock climbing. It isn't paranoid, it is prudent. As long as you aren't hovering over her saying "careful, careful, careful" or "that is too dangerous" let her explore but stay in position where you serve as a safety net. I was never an "anxious" spotter. I was always confident that I was not likely to be needed, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't have been there.

you are not paranoid, you are a MAMA, not a MOTHER, big difference. a MOTHER thinks her job ends when the kid is born, the MAMA, on the other hand, says " my job ends when i am DEAD!" i have a hand around my daughters waist when she climbs the money bars too, dont think of yourself as paranoid, think of yourself as saving your child from a trip to the emergency room, and yes, my daughter is about the same age as yours
K. h.

2 and 1/2 is still pretty young. I would be standing close by too. You will be able to tell when your child matures enough to have good stability and you can slowly back away.

Have you ever heard Bill Cosby's bit on playgrounds? Go to youtube and look for it..... but don't let it scare you. It is pure comedy about the dangers of the playground! That should prove that others worry about this stuff too!

As the mother of 3 playground loving boys who range in age from nearly 6 to 18 months, I hear ya! I think at her age you are doing the right thing to be right there, but as she gets closer to 3 / 3.5ish you should be able to keep your distance. All kids are different--some are better climbers; some take more risks; some have better balance; some are impulsive--you know your daughter best, so if you think you should be right there for her, go ahead and be there for her. It doesn't really matter what our kids are like--what matters is what you think you should be doing for your daughter.

When my oldest was 3 I had to be right there, because, although he was a good climber, he was very impulsive. My middle son is 3 right now, and I barely have to watch him at all at the park, because he isn't impulsive and doesn't really take risks. My 18 month old? He's a monkey and has tried jumping into my arms from up high while yelling to me, "CATCH!"

My dd is 3 1/2 and I still go up with her or hover near the openings. We live in a ranch style house with no stairs so she doesnt quite understand about heights and falling. I prefer the mcdonalds playland, since its all enclosed and she cant fall. You cant see what the other kids are doing in there though, we had an issue with an extremely naughty much older kid blocking my dd from coming down and trapping her in the slide. She was screaming like wild and I couldnt get to her. I was not very happy with that kids mother. My daughter gave him a few good kicks to the head for his trouble, little jerk.

I dont think you are being overprotective. Dont let people make you feel that way either. Just because they dont care if their kids fall from a ten foot drop doesnt mean you dont need to be concerned about yours.

Haha I am still like this with my daughter... and she is 4. LOL. I don't even want to think of how it is when my husband takes them to the park, because I know that he spends most of the time with them playing "tag" on the structure, and no where near the ground 2 inches below where she is standing "spotting her" like I do. Btw, he takes them to the park almost every weekend alone and they have all survived so far. You're just a good mama :))

It's not sad. You're a good mom.
Having said that, you do need to let your child have fun & explore.
I will say that men definitely designed those playgrounds.
Moms would have designed a safer structure.
I do let my child play on those structures but I teach him as best I can to
climb safely and to pay attention.
He knows his limits but I see him pushing himself & trying out some
"daredevil-ish" behavior.
I just try to talk to him about the "why" we try to be safe.

Too many kids in our neighborhood have injured themselves on these structures breaking bones. More than once.

Try to teach her while at the same time encouraging her and letting her have fun.

That's exactly what my mom did and we kids never broke a bone.
She supervised us but taught us as well about whey we needed to be
careful.

Updated

It's not sad. You're a good mom.
Having said that, you do need to let your child have fun & explore.
I will say that men definitely designed those playgrounds.
Moms would have designed a safer structure.
I do let my child play on those structures but I teach him as best I can to
climb safely and to pay attention.
He knows his limits but I see him pushing himself & trying out some
"daredevil-ish" behavior.
I just try to talk to him about the "why" we try to be safe.

Too many kids in our neighborhood have injured themselves on these structures breaking bones. More than once.

Try to teach her while at the same time encouraging her and letting her have fun.

That's exactly what my mom did and we kids never broke a bone.
She supervised us but taught us as well about whey we needed to be
careful.

How about warning your daughter by going up there with her and showing where the danger spots are? Then you will also see how much higher it seems from up there and that she most likely will not venture near those spots.

I was the same with my first. When my second came along, and he went to climb to the second story of our swing set at 18 months, I just said to myself, "if he can do it, he can do it."

My daughter(my oldest) has recently started hanging upside down on the handle bars. I try not to look.

Well I think it's pretty normal, I mean she is small. What I do is let my 5 yr old loose bc he is like all over it now and just stay around my 2 yr old. Like with both of my older boys they loved to run across those little wobbly bridges from the second they could walk but it was so easy for them to fall and topple out and they could get hurt doing that. So I would just be near by, not hovering, just close. I always spy out the open spots and just keep an eye when the kids get around them and just watch more closely at that time, but I don't necessarily move closer, I just heighten my observation. I mean, I am never that far so I could always run and make a save it needed, and you know I have never had to, as wild as my boys are neither of the older ones have ever just jumped off of anything high. So I think you are right to keep an eye, but just stop worrying about it so much. Just be available and know that she is OK and you are right there. I mean this day in age, you have to keep a visual on your kids at all times at a playground for the simple fact there are nut jobs out there so I think by just watching you would always be there. Heck, my 2 yr old broke his elbow just jumping wildly off the couch, never even a scratch at a playground!! Hang in there mama :)

If a child fell off some of those, he/she could break a leg. Maybe worse. I can see paralysis for life, landing the wrong way. Our friend's daughter did fall and will always have a limp. So, I get it. It's scary. WHY do there need to be drop-off points? Everyone knows toddlers climb up to the top, too. My 16-month-old can!

In our neighborhood, many of the playgrounds have the 5+ aged play structure and a smaller ages 2-5 aged play structure.

See if you can get her to play on the one more age appropriate.

I'm with you - I hated the big ones for my little kids. That said - my third (only girl) was at the top with her big brothers at that age... and it drove me nuts.

Every kid is different. For both my kids I always stayed nearby when they were two. They would lean right over those "free fall" spots you are talking about. You know your own kid and what their likely dangers are! Today someone in the grocery store gave me an evil look and said it was dangerous to have my kid in the back of cart... yeah I know, but my kid is good back there. Everyone's different.

The worst are the playgrounds where the structures are enormous and long... you have to run around the entire thing to keep up with your kid who just jaunted across the swinging bridge and through the tube.... or you can't see them when they come down the slide and turn the corner because there are so many plaything.

I think you are fine and if anything did happen i'd rather be right there. as you child gets older you will back off and allow them more freedom, you aren't telling me that you don't let her up there, or that you go with and hold her hand and never let her do anything herself, you ar ejust saying you have some concerns and they are logical real concerns so I think it's fine.

I was like that with my 1st it went away after that for some reason. I mean I was watching but did not feel sick to my stomach visualizing everything that could go wrong.

Well, don't panic about it. You just do what you do, that feels right. If youwant to follow baby up, you do it. And have your sister, who isn't afraid catch baby at the end of slide. If you are by yourself, slide down with baby. I use to do that if my dad didn't come along to cath my youngest. She LOVED the slide and the darn monkey bars and would always slide crooked, backwards....UUUGH.....you know the feeling. You do what is right for you.

We took a recent trip to Australia, and noticed that the play equipment there allowed a lot more latitude and required more good sense on the part of kids to keep themselves safe. It was also a lot more fun. They had zip lines, and spider webs and climbing orbs with big gaps that went up to 12' tall. Even the kiddy equipment required the use of a clibing wall or a ladder to get to the slide, no stairs were provided.

That said, you know yourself, and you know your own child. If it makes you feel better to stand near, then, by all means do. Your child will speak up soon enough if they think you are hovering.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

This is your job Mom. You let them do things and take all kinds of risks that turn your hair gray and roil your stomach. And when they fall you are right there to catch and when they achieve you are right there to smile happily at them. As the years go by we stand farther away and get pushed away and that's part of our job. She's little yet. So you stand there. In another year you'll be sitting on the bench more.

My DD never believed in the law of gravity but she got her worst injuries at home.... We spent so much time in the ER they had us assessed by CPS. Just be glad you don't have one of those kinds of kids!!

No you are not alone. My dd was 2 and literally walked right one of the big playground worlds play sets. Landed on her belly like ago get bread cookie with arms and legs out. I was standing 3 feet away but had my back turned. I ran over to her and gently rolled her over supporting her neck. She did not respond right away, then started to cry. I picked her up and stopped after a few. Then stood up on her own and was kind of wobbly. Then she turned and tried to walk back up the steps to go back to playing. We took her to the ER and thankfully she was ok. Scariest moment ever, until she broke her finger 2 weeks later with the help of her brother.

I was like this when mine were little; easy fix: don't go to the playgrounds that are so high! I would stick with the ones that weren't gigantic and slowly moved up in size as my children got older.

And don't let anyone talk you in to taking your child to one if you're uncomfortable! Your child is going to pick up on your fears - just wait awhile till you ARE comfortable!

Good luck!!

Watch your child and really take a good look at her abilities. Will she fall? Will she hang over the edge? My DD is cautious. My SD is a daredevil. Neither has been injured. I would actually prefer it if my DD regained some of the confidence she once had. I would stand near the open places, but not act like you were a goalie. Just be near, talk to her, interact with her, maybe make it a game. Don't be fearful or she will be, too. But if she does need help, you won't be far.