I would appreciate hearing from other parents who have dealt with their child's potty mouth. I'm watching my son transform into this potty mouth child and it's really irritating me. I realize that this is a phase, but i'm wondering how people have successfully handled this behavior. I know that he is getting it from school--other kids with older siblings or children who are in the aftercare program. The school year is ending and so there isn't a whole lot that can be addressed in the classroom, but I would love some pointers on how to best manage it at home. My son is teaching his younger siblings behaviors that I am not happy with at all. Arghhhhhhh.... He just came home yesterday making farting noises with his armpit. LOVELY.
My first suggestion is to pick your battles. Boys most definately WILL be boys, and armpit farts and "bathroom humor" is ingrained in their DNA. Don't fight it, just ride the wave. Truly potty mouth, as in dropping cuss words, I just remind my boy that it is inappropriate, and he's pretty good about it. My older son, who absolutely HATED time outs - well, that was what he got for it.
Okay, fart noises with his arm pit are TOTALLY NORMAL and expected of a young boy. With out actual examples of "potty mouth" words and actions I can not help. Honestly, I do not see an issue with the fart noises as long as he learns appropriate time/place for these actions. A sleepover with his friends, okay fine, wedding or dinner out with family, no way. So is he saying F*** or damn? I would do word replacement for the most part and ignoring a lot of it.
We send our kids to the bathroom for a sort of "time out" for potty talk. If they want to talk potty talk, then they can get it out of their system in the bathroom. I learned this from my son's preschool teacher and I think it's great. You don't have to get mad, but just send them away on their own. No "over-the-top" reaction from you helps too.
By your example of armpit noises, I'm assuming you mean literal "potty" words. That's tricky, because you really can't have an outright ban on all potty words (which would just make it more fascinating anyway). Maybe have a discussion on cutting down the frequency, and when it's ok and when it's not. Let him get it out of his system, but not out of control. This will help. However, he's a boy, so I'm not sure this phase ever goes away completely :)
Potty humor and noises are just plain funny for most kids. There's a reason most children's comedies revolve around potty humor. Right now my 3 boys are enjoying potty humor in their playroom right now. However, they know they would be in trouble if they talked like that at church (except the 3 yr old who is still learning). Usually it doesn't last very long anymore because it's just not as funny when mom's not in there every couple of minutes telling them it's gross.
How old is your son and is he actually cussing or is he just using bathroom humor? If he's actually cussing at home, in front of you or at you, then set your expectation about his use of such language, tell him what his punishment will be if he continues, and then firmly enforce it. When my older son was in about 2nd-3rd grade, the urge to say cuss words was just too strong, so I told him that if he wanted to cuss he had to go in the bathroom and close the door, because I didn't want to hear it. Well, that got boring after awhile so eventually he stopped.
If it's bathroom humor, well, I hate to tell you this, but this is SO TYPICAL for elementary school boys... (and beyond, really. My 13 year old sometimes still does the armpit fart thing.) The best thing to do is ignore it, honestly, because once he gets that you are annoyed by it, he will keep doing it. When my boys were little I did just ignore it, except if company was over or at the dinner table, then I expected them to stuff it! The good news is, that it is a phase, and does not last forever.
The fun of doing this sort of thing is the shocked reaction they get from you or the giggles they get from their young friends. I've found the best way to eliminate this sort of behavior is to quietly and firmly say something like "that's not appropriate language (or action) here. Please stop". If they continue, then let them know that they will need to be removed from the area for a while if they insist on continuing. Whether you use an actual time out, send them to their room where you aren't as worried about their noises or language, or whatever your way of removing them from the situation, it should help de-fuse the behavior.
I suggest teaching your child what the swear is and what it means. Use it in context or in a sentence so the child knows when and where to use it. It also helps with them knowing the proper time to use/say these words. This was helpful for me and my kids. I hope it works for you!
