Hello everyone, I'm new here, my daughter told me it was a good forum for most issues, I'm a mother of two grown children now and a recent widower.
A few months ago my son suggested I rent out the Room above my garage, for some extra spending money, its a newly furnished room, with an en-suit and a nice view of the garden and the river and the garage I emptied out so it came with a parking space.
Only one man applied to use the room, he seemed nice enough, fairly clean cut, polite, mild mannered guy, he said that he justed needed to get away for a while to focus on his writing for a while and it seemed fair enough to me, I did not know much about him, just that he was from Washington State, was a businessman and was a USA Navy Pilot for a few years.
He has been fairly trouble free, he is clean and tidy, I sometimes joke that the garage apartment is nicer with him living there than it was before, he is always polite, he helps out in the garden, he has cleaned my windows for me as well, he is fairly quiet, sometimes when I am in the garden I hear his music from his window, but oh well, its good music anyway.
However he has also shown some unsettling traits a lot of the time he seems very withdrawn and distracted, sometimes he seems overly analytical about things and he never looks at things from an emotional point of view, something else I noticed was his temper, I mean he is mostly mild mannered and quite polite, but on some occassions he has shown a pretty scary temper, the first time was when I asked him to drive me into town and he did, then some teenager threw paint at his car, I personally would have taken it to the police, but he just lost it, got out of the car, grabbed this 16/17ish guy and pushed his cheek into the paint, then really was verbally very aggressive, made him apologize, then give up his jacket to clean it off with.
Some are not as severe as that, usually its just him yelling at an inaminate object to work or at most kicking something or breaking it, on one occasion he cut himself on the edge of one of my cups then chucked it on the ground, but then he immediately cleaned it up and bought me a whole new set of cups.
He does seem to have two completely different personalities 90% of the time he is just a nice guy who stops to talk to people and strokes random neighbourhood pets and plays with my grandkids when they visit and is always a complete charmer to all my neighbours and friends and is always so nice to me, but then 10% of the time he is a withdrawn, intolerant person who will break glasses or punch someone if they agitiate him enough (although he has only actually punched someone three times all for fair reasons)
Anyway last week he came home and he looked incredibly distressed, he just grabbed his car keys and left telling me very politely that he needed to go for a drive, I was very worried about him and wanted to know what it was that may have been disturbing him, my friend who I live with in the main part of the house suggested that we search his apartment for any hints as to what may be causing this behaviour.
There was not much to be suspicious off, a few quirks I guess like his old styled razor, or the military standard cleanliness of the apartment, that he kept records of every financial transaction that he made, or his choice in books and movies, but overall normal, but we found some odd things as well.
I found however a few things, one was that he used to have a wife and children back in Washington, I found photo albums of them all, which were nice to see, but I also found a newspaper article that he had saved about his wife and two teenage children dying while driving home from her mother's house, and the drink driver that caused the accident being aquitted, so I'm guessing that is the main cause of his anger and most likely the reason he has been staying down here.
Another thing I found was that he seems to drink a lot of alcohol, I found in his cabinet 4 bottles of JD and a shoebox full of different painkillers (asprin, paracetomol, nerofen)
Another thing that concerns me is I found in his top draw what appeared to be a bible, but it turned out to be the Mormon scriptures, so it was the bible, the book of mormon and other scriptures that they use, there were a few things he kept in the scriptures as well, a few photographs and personnal notes and it basically proved to me that he is a Mormon, I noticed that he drinks alcohol and he has not been going to any church here so I assumed he had left the church and just kept his old scriptures instead of buying a whole new bible.
But when I asked him about all this when he got home he said that he still believes in the church and still identifies himself as a Mormon and thinks that it is the true church, yada yada yada, but he just desperately needed a break from it all.
So I am not happy about this, I am an Evangelical Christian and I don't really feel comfortable about religious cult followers staying in my home, I have researched the church before and I know it is not true and that it is a cult, he said that he joined in his teens and was active all his life, even when in the Navy.
So What do you think, should I kick him out, what are your thoughts on all this?
On one hand he has always been incredibly nice to me, as been an ideal lodger and bar a few personnal issues is a good man who has gone through a hard time.
But on the other hand he is a heavy drinker, he is unbalanced and he is part of a false church.
Not only that but I also noticed that
LOL well all religions are cults if you think about it.
So you made this whole post just to say you dislike Mormons?
Awesome.
Are you writing a Lifetime movie? This looks made up and as someone else pointed out, very similar to a post made a while ago. Thanks for the story though.
i think you're appalling.
i'm sorry. but this is beyond the pale.
you have violated the privacy of someone who lives with you for no good reason. having a temper is not a crime. most of us would go off on some asshat kid throwing PAINT on our car. if i were him, i'd take you to court.
your beliefs about his religion, your pejorative condemnation of a recognized and valid (however wacky) religion, and your desire to toss him about because of your own extremist cult beliefs, are in direct opposition to the law.
i hope this guy wises up about you.
khairete
S.
Ditto Suz.
You went into someone's private space they were renting from you and invaded his privacy.
A lot could have been avoided if you had done what many do and run a background check on the guy before moving him into your home.
Your religious intolerance is your own problem, isn't it?
Yes, Suz-- *beyond* the pale. I think you need to stop renting out a room if you are not going to do the proper steps to secure your own safety and then violate HIS privacy.
Think about it, from a common sense perspective, because this seems really dopey, but here goes: do you think this 'dangerous, volatile man' would take kindly to you and your roommate snooping in his stuff? What sort of action did you expect? And if he didn't freak out on you after you confessed to going through his stuff (you DID tell him, right?!) -- then he can't be that scary. Because if I found that a landlord was going through MY stuff, I'd be inventing a whole new brand of scary to bring on you, including a lawyer.
As far as troll questions go, this is a pretty good one.
Paracetamol! Oh my! The horror.
Ok, I usually give people the benefit of doubt and don't call troll right away but, really? This post seems kind of familiar. Anyway, on the off chance that this is real, a persons religion has nothing to do with tenancy. If you were that worried about religion then I guess you would have found out his religion before renting. Also, rummaging through a tenants belongings is against the law. I find it hard to believe that for a man with violent tendencies he didn't become violent after you confronted him and admitted going through his stuff! Sorry, just don't believe this one is real. If it is you're way too involved with your tenant.
I don't know the laws where you live, but where I live, you must give a tenant 24 hour notice before going into their residence, and you must have a valid reason for doing so. Snooping and spying is not a valid reason to enter and apt. What you did would be considered breaking and entering and you could/should be charged with a crime. As far as evicting him, this post is written proof that you want to evict him because you don't agree with his religious beliefs. That is discrimination based on his religion and it is also against the law. He can sue you for it, and he will win.
I think he could sue you for invading his space without prior notice. Interesting that you note you "know the Mormon church" is false...did you do anything besides read anti-Mormon literature?
Lady - you are one seriously messed up person!!
YOU BROKE THE LAW!!! You unlawfully entered a tenant's residence. If he doesn't press charges, you will be VERY lucky!
Keep your nose in your OWN part of your home.
DO NOT ask him to drive you anywhere - it's not his responsibility.
Not for you to judge if he's part of a 'false church'.
You need to back off, stay in your own part of the home and stay out of his business!! IF you can't do that? You cannot be a land lord. PERIOD.
If this is even real, I think you are the hot mess here, not your renter.
Are you writing a novel? Do you need help figuring out what happens next? If not, then ask this man to move out.
Do you have a month to month rental agreement with him?
What are the clauses for him or you terminating the arrangement?
As long as he pays his rent, is agreeable to you, and is quiet, and doesn't trash the room he's renting (and isn't throwing wild loud parties) - I'd be ok with him staying awhile longer.
Ultimately he should have an exit plan - he's not going to live there forever, right?
If he's not practicing human/animal sacrifices I don't really care what his religion is/was.
OH MY GOSH, he could have you arrested for breaking and entering, you realize that right?
He has a lease that makes that his residence. Unless there is smoke or water pouring out of his windows and you call the appropriate authorities because it's an EMERGENCY you have no legal right to even put your key in his lock.
If I were him and found out what you'd done I'd press charges, well, if I liked you in any way I might tell you that if you ever did that again I would press charges fully and to stay out of my apartment. I would also change the locks, want to know why? The only way you'd know they were changed is if you tried to enter my place again. That would tell on you.
A tenant has legal rights. As the owner you also have rights but those rights are for other things and have more responsibility.
Such as him letting you know something is broken, you call a repairman, then if he's not there you "might" let the repairman in, WITH YOUR TENANTS ABSOLUTE PERMISSION. Or you could do inspections once per year or something just to see that the property is not demolished.
His housekeeping or what he eats or drinks is not your business in any way.
I can't believe you asked him to give you a ride. That's just not his job. He rents a building from you and is not your friend.
So, you need to stay out of his home and you need to limit your contact with him. He's your tenant, not your friend, not your neighbor, not your ride, nothing.
I had a friend that had a rental house on the corner by her elderly mom's house. She had a new tenant move in and she got mad because they left the air conditioner on during the day when they weren't home THEY PAID THEIR OWN UTILITIES, THIS COST THE LANDLORD NOTHING.
She'd drive by and roll down her window. If she heard the AC she'd stop, use her key, go in and turn it off.
I told her she could get in trouble for that but she continued to do that. One day the lady was home sick and her friend borrowed her car. When she heard someone come into her house she pulled out her gun. She nearly shot her landlord because they were trespassing in their tenants home.
My soon to be non friend called the police on the lady when she got to her mom's house. Told the officer her tenant had pulled a gun on her and threatened her and stuff.
The officer went down to the other house, gun drawn, pounded on the door and told the tenant to come out with their hands up. She came out and was totally dumbfounded by these accusations. She told the officer she hadn't done anything wrong, she'd heard a noise in her living room and came out with her gun. She told the officer the lady had been sneaking into her house and almost got shot. When she realized who it was she put the gun down.
He talked to my friend and she told him she was going in to turn the AC off, "she" didn't want it on all day. The officer asked her how much it ran the utilities up and my friend said "I don't know, I don't pay their bills" in a very snotty voice.
He talked to the tenant again, she had no idea this landlord was coming into her house every day and doing that, she'd though the AC had a problem and was getting hot or something then shutting itself off. Now that she knew what was happening did she have the right to tell her landlord to stay out of her home.
The officer said she did. By signing a lease or even money changing hands for "rent" it gave that tenant certain rights that every court would uphold.
Then he asked the tenant if she wanted to press charges for trespassing on the landlord. Tenant said no, but she asked the officer if he'd read her the riot act and tell her she can't even come on the property without calling first to make an appointment or the tenant could call the police on her for trespassing.
Since this call was on record all the officers would have to do is look at this officers report and they'd know the landlord was not following what she'd been told.
So do not go into your tenants area again or you could end up shot.
I responded to this exact same question quite awhile ago. Can't believe you are still snooping and that he hasn't gone ballistic on you yet.
Long time no see. Must you trot out this story again? Can't you even mix it up just a little?
~yawn~
This can't possibly be real, but assuming it is, you are intolerable.
This is the funniest story I've read on here in a long time! Are you writing for Comedy Central? Or Lifetime? Or Oxygen? Or some fanatical Christian fanfic site? Peddle your nonsense elsewhere, please.
You had no right to go through your tenants belongings or to ask him anything about his religion. You should not be renting to anyone if you can not show respect for their space and privacy. And you have no right to call his religion a cult, it is not any more cultish then the one you follow. Luckily for all of us we have the freedom in this country to follow any religion we choose, even if we follow its tenets poorly sometimes.
The Christian thing to do would be to reach out to this lonely man - invite him to your church and introduce him (though only if he is ready). Sounds like all you have done so far is take advantage of him by asking him to give you rides and garden. Also promise you will never enter his rooms again. That is a breach of privacy and he is not your son.
I think you might not be ready to be a landlady just yet. You are way too involved with this man's life. What was the occasion for looking in the cabinets? And finding the articles about the terrible tragedy that befell him? Renting a room to someone does not mean you can intrude in his personal space and life choices. If he makes you feel unsafe in your home, doesn't pay his rent, disturbs the peace or whatever seems truly dangerous or illegal, by all means ask him kindly to leave. Otherwise his religion, drinking habits (as long as he doesn't drive) etc. are really none of your business. You might want to take a look at your desire to control things that are not yours to control and ask if a lodger is really what you want right now.
I can't believe you searched his rooms. Do you have it in the lease that you can enter when he's not there to search? Otherwise you need to keep the heck out! There was no reason for you to be in there. If you're afraid of him you go to the police and start proceedings to evict him, you don't search his residence.
I know many Mormons and they are very well behaved courteous people maybe that is why he is renting the room because he knows he is drinking and would not be accepted in his family behaving that way. I don't think you should judge his church if you met the people you would see it is a very nice group of people that actually follow the commandments.
If this is for a book or made for TV movie, is too cliché. Step out of the box a little. It made me laugh at the typical ridiculousness of it (like Sharknado) more than anything.
