Quirky?

Her occupation has become her personality. She is in sales. She sells herself to people, and gets the sale. Once the sale is made, she moves on to the next sell. Not quirky, just manipulative and shallow.

I don't know if I would call it "quirky." "Manipulative" and "selfish" come to mind. To me quirky is when something is a little odd, different or out of the norm, but still endearing. Sarah just seems like a user to me.

It's not "quirky". She has her own agenda. Lots of people are like this. It looks like you've taken a lot of time analyzing her already. Your son clearly knows how to move on and make other friends and so do you. So just let it go and don't give it another thought. If you cross paths be nice to her but that's it. Good luck.

I would back away from his family --quickly. They are users and abusers. they don't give a D*%M about anyone but themselves. Don't waste your time on them.

I had a 'friend' who did that to me and several others. However, not only did she use people after she tossed them to the curb she would tell everyone she knew all kinds of stories and lies about them. For instance, she told a large group of people that I was sick of taking care of my Mom and I was just waiting for her to die so I could get my hands on her money.

People like this are toxic and eventually they will die lonely forgotten people with only a small handful of people to morn.

I don't know about a lot of people, but I've certainly run into a few 'Sarahs' over the years. It's caused me to go slow in forming friendships, to notice patterns... (like "I'll be chummy when I want something, but other times not talk at all"). Personally, I like it more when there isn't any pretense and it's just a mutual benefit; I can make enough small talk with moms I trade childcare with to pass the time and not get pulled into mistaking it as friendship. We are friendly (different from being friends) with each other, but that's about it.

On the other hand, I do have one person in my life who loves to tell me *everything*, to ask for favors, and who does this with everyone-- expecting them to drop what they are doing to help her out. I will help her, but only if it works out for us already. I'm friendly with her, but she's not someone who I will go out of my way for, as she has 'groomed' plenty of resources already. I figure there's most usually someone else she can call!

She's not quirky, She's a user and she's even using her own child. I wouldn't forbid your son to play with hers because goodness knows he needs some normal people in his life that play with him for healthy normal reasons. But I would I no way hang out with her at all.

I'm so glad you know the score with Sarah and that your son is able to find his own way.

Sarah is a poser and a user. I choose not to have friends like this because of having been hurt by one. (It's happened twice to me, but only one of them hurt...)

Perhaps Sarah chooses her religion specfically as an end to a means since she "works" her Christian group friends. Are there a lot of people like this? I don't know. At least I'm not a magnet for them...

When you mentioned that she is in sales, that kind of struck me. I think from your description here that her sales strategies pervade her private life. That's a shame, really. I'm not saying that she isn't a self-centered and selfish person. She is, with a "what have you done for me lately" attitude. But I think that she also puts her sales personality into every other aspect of her life.

I don't see this as "quirky" at all. A poser and a user isn't quirky. What she is doing is deliberate and only for her own ends, with not one bit of loyalty for anyone. Good for you for walking away.

Quirky? More like a creep. I wouldn't have any more contact with this family then a smile and hello if we met. She has shown you who she is, it's your choice if you choose to witness any more selfishness.

There are people like Sarah, I think, but thankfully not a lot. I also do not think she is quirky. I think she is a sad woman that does not know how to be a friend. I wonder what brought her to be like this.

You are wise in how you handle this, and you are wise to realize there are all "kinds" of people out there and to proceed choosing friends with a bit of caution, but I hope this experience will not prohibit you from gathering friends. There are too many keepers out there to hold back!

Friends do often get things from the other. Usually not so blatant, however.

Wow. This sounds exactly like a "friend" I once had. She was a friend as long as she got something out of the friendship--once she was done, I (and my daughter; she was friends with her two younger girls) were just dumped, no explanation, no reason, she just stopped having any contact with us. The sad part is, her girls and my daughter used to go to the same dance studio. The mom (my former "friend") would ignore me, while the girls tried to talk to me and my daughter (the "friend" didn't like her daughters talking to mine).

I'd never been a "friend" with someone like that before. Now that I know what type of a person she was and her mannerisms/maneuvers, I am able to stay away from other people like her. They drain you of knowledge, resources, friendship, your very lifeblood--whatever it is that "they" need and, once they have everything they need and can no longer get anything more, then you're tossed aside like an old shirt to Good Will. It's called being used--and I don't like the feeling.

Luckily, my daughter is no longer taking dance, this "friend" lives in a different town, and her daughters attend a different school than mine, so it's highly unlikely that I will be seeing her again.

Oh, and she is a "Christian" too. I often wonder how it is that they believe that what they are doing is or qualifies as being Christian. It is certainly unchristianlike behavior. Sigh.

And I believe Bug hit it exactly on the head. My "friend" is friends only with those whom she thinks, feels, or believes will help her move up in status/in Yuppieville. We're not interested in that at all; I think she finally realized that, and that was also one of the reasons why we were dumped.

Unfortunately, there are lots of Sarah's out there. I have met a few of them, and was a great friend to one. It's hurtful when you realize that is the way it is, but it's best to have them out of your life. I am glad that your son was able to move on and not be upset about Sarah's boy.

I think that people have different ideas of friendship. Everybody doesn't see friendship as something to be nurtured during times of less need. There's an understanding that "I'll call you when I need you." They are not interested in perpetual intimacy, and there are no hard feelings.

This woman is not a match for you. We are all on our own individual journeys. She'll learn the lessons meant for her, and you'll learn the lessons meant for you. There are probably just as many people like Sarah as people like you. And a bunch of other types, too.

Yes there are tons of people like Sarah out there. I don't care if they're in 500 "Christian" groups, they aren't necessarily righteous people. She's a user.

It's particularly disgusting to use a child's friendship to make a business deal. Pretty un-Christian too.

The point of going away to camp is to not just have fun activities, but to make new friends, learn to socialize with new people from different backgrounds, and to get away from some of the old cliques and associations, just for a change. It wasn't a great idea to sign the first 2 boys up for the same camp - unless her son is completely incapable of making friends on his own. Now, adding a 3rd friend into the mix means that these kids are already being set up to pal around together and, on some level, exclude the kids who just go to camp without an entourage.

I recommended my son's camp to a number of people, but stopped short of making sure they were in the same bunk.

I think you've learned that you've been used by Sarah, and you are one of many people in her "discard pile". You've wisely stepped back, have noticed the pattern, and you aren't taking it personally.

And of course, she's not a friend. She calls people "friend" so she can use them. That's up to them. But telling children to be nice to someone so Mom can get a client is not a value we want to pass on to our kids. They should be nice to everyone, but not seek out people who are advantageous for anything other than friendship and social enrichment.