Sounds like you are in a rough place.
I am not an advocate of leaving a marriage so that "you can be happy". And I firmly believe that not being "in love with" your spouse isn't a reason to leave either. Love is a verb, not a noun. It is action, not emotion. You can get that emotion back with work. But you have to DO.
That said, it sounds like your husband is passing along to your family what he learned from his. Has he always called you names and have arguments always turned into screaming and yelling? If so, how did you end up married in the first place? If not, when did it change? And why?
My husband would never DREAM of calling me names like that. We have been married for 14 years, have 2 kids (pre-teens now) and we have had our share of arguments and disagreements over the years. MOST of them stemmed from him feeling unloved and unappreciated... (he does have some issues from his childhood too-- involving being adopted, sooo that is a touchy issue, b/c I get alot of his spillover from issues with his mother. Like I have to make up for what he didn't get as a child.)
Anyway. Even at the worst of our arguments, he would never call me those sorts of names.
Everyone wants the fairy tale life. It is not abnormal to want that. It is abnormal to GET That. Because it doesn't really exist. You notice in the fairy tales, the story ends once the couple gets married, lol. That's because there are always things to be worked through for every couple. You are two different people trying to live one life together. It IS work. It is HARD sometimes. It doesn't mean it isn't worth it though.
In your case, it sounds like it is far less than just "not the fairy tale".
I would definitely consider some counseling. For you individually, for you two as a couple, and maybe even some for him individually - if he will do it. He needs to understand that name calling you and tearing you down, is counter-productive to a good solid marriage.
I am not a believer in that whole "we all deserve to be happy" stuff, though. It just isn't what my faith teaches me. What we all deserve, is punishment for our selfishness, sins, shortcomings, and depravity. What we get is grace. And we are supposed to share that grace with our "neighbor". Your husband is also your neighbor.
Soo... I can't tell you what to do. I don't want to tell you what to do. But try to look at things from a slightly different perspective, and maybe with some counseling things will get better in your marriage. We do all have needs, and motherhood is all about giving. Quite the irony, isn't it?