Road Rage!

I usually just flash a friendly smile and a peace sign. Then the other person just feels like a total @$$ for yelling or whatever.

You were wise to back down. The world has too many unpredictable nuts. No telling how far she would have taken it. Safety first...

You got angry because you "got caught"...if you had to stop fast, you had time to go through the intersection.

Was she wrong in calling you names? Yes.

Good for you for NOT allowing your anger to take over and do something about her anger over the situation.

You both were wrong. However, YOU showed more self-control than she did. Next time? When a light turns yellow? If you are by the line? Go through the light. Yellow means GO VERY FAST!! (if you watched the movie Star Man with Jeff Bridges)...

http://movieclips.com/McGaF-starman-movie-yellow-light-go...

any ways....my road rage? Well, I pissed someone off..(surprised?) coming home from the store last week, a woman was STOPPED in the acceleration lane...the car behind me honked...I couldn't do anything...so I beeped her...she got pissed...the carS behind me honked....so raised her fist to us...she was an older woman driving an SUV with a handicapped plate...obviously she was too handicapped to drive...having FIVE cars behind her FINALLY got her to wake up and MOVE...and realize that she was ALLOWED TO GO!! It was safe! (dah).

Here is my problem with your story, lights are timed that from the time it turns yellow you have enough time to safely stop behind the line or go through the intersection before it turns red. It is actually more than enough time to come to a complete stop because it is calculated using the the speed limit and the mass of the largest vehicle using that street. We cars stop a lot faster than a semi. So you either tried to run a yellow driving too fast or you are one of those slow drivers that slam on your brakes the minute the light turns yellow, both very dangerous in my opinion. Oh I suppose you could have not been paying attention to the light turning red but that is also dangerous.

So I would probably be a bit irritated at you as well but not really yell worthy, def not cussing.

Why did it make you so angry? You were wrong, if you are across that line you have done some seriously poor driving. Why didn't you feel guilty? Yeah she was way out of line but most of us feel bad when we did something wrong and it angered someone. We don't get angry at that person we hang our head low and can't wait till we are away from that person or in my case, I say I am sorry in such a way that the person knows I feel really bad for a sloppy bit of driving. Most of the time they calm down and move on.

I have done the not seeing a stop sign, backing up in a parking lot and having a person appear out of nowhere. Sorry sorry sorry, if they aren't getting it I roll down my window I am so sorry!

You got mad, that is odd to me. What if there was a lot of traffic? Was she to turn around and go back and wait for another cycle because you couldn't control your car? Should she have put her and her child in danger?

You were wrong, and you got mad at the woman you put in harms way, you should have said you were sorry but instead you got angry.....

Just an FYI a guy didn't notice the light turning last week and creamed my car. My light had been green for a good five seconds before I even moved, he ran a very solid red. So although what you did has always been a pet peeve of mine this is still kind of fresh in my mind. People need to be paying attention to those lights and there is no reason other the poor driving you end up across that line.

Oh yeah and he had a mess of excuses like you. He was angry at me. He yelled at the witness behind me who stopped to attest that the light was very much green long before I moved.

Yes, Momof3g's I did read that! Here is the thing, what she didn't say is whether or not she was completely ignoring the situation she put that woman in! She forced her to move out of the crosswalk into incoming traffic with her baby in a stroller! How would that make you feel? She makes NO mention of I rolled down my window and said I am so sorry! She doesn't even mention sorry at all. So yeah, the woman was over the top but it doesn't sound like the OP has any remorse at all for her actions. So how would you feel if you are in the crosswalk, perhaps already had the walk light and some woman skids to a stop across the line now blocking you? The first thing that goes through your mind is what if me and my baby had been right there! It is upsetting. Then instead of oh my god I am so sorry! she tries to ignore if which really it would take a lot of restraint for anyone to just walk into incoming traffic and ignore what the OP just did.

In your mind someone almost hit your baby! Yeah, that can make most of us rather unhinged.

You have absolutely no idea what kind of crappy day she was having. Was she wrong? Of course. But for you to get your back up over it is dumb. Instead, I would have shouted out to her - I'm so sorry! I overshot. Hope you have a better day!

If you are nice to her, it is A) unexpected and disarming, and B) probably what she needs at this point.

Yes, I've encountered that exact scenario when I was in my 20s and some guy came up to my side window (no electric windows back then, so I couldn't close it and I couldn't go through the intersection because I had the red light). He scared me to death. But I wish I had more wisdom back then to let this sort of thing go.

ETA: I love Julie S's answer. She's absolutely right. Of course the woman handled it immaturely, but like I said above, I would have apologized. Why didn't you?

I agree with Nervy Girl. Apparently you are not a pedestrian very often - give it a try and see if it doesn't irritate the sh** out of you for a car to be 2/3 of the way into your cross walk. How would you feel if the car in the lane next to yours took 2/3 of your lane? You would have a choice word or two for that person. And Nervy Girl's example of not being able to see past the front of your car to be sure cars in the next lane are stopping is very valid.

Again, I think you should try being a pedestrian in a downtown setting for an afternoon to gain a better perspective of what it is to be a pedestrian.

So, I understand her frustration with you and YOU could have helped diffuse her frustration by at least acknowledging your error instead of sitting there with a stoic look like you could care less that she is now walking in the intersection with HER baby whom she loves as much as you love yours!

I had a major run in with road rage once. It was scary. My cousin and I were test-driving a car, and truck in front of us slammed on his brakes to make a turn. Of course, that made us have to hit our brakes as well. Apparently, the guy in a truck behind us did not appreciate being made to stop (even though we were just reacting to traffic in front of us...) and started revving his engine, falling back and charging at us-coming very close to rear-ending us. We stopped at a red light, where he sat behind us revving his engine, cussing at us and gesticulating wildly, etc. When the light changed, he actually rammed his truck into us before we even had a chance to go. Then he was riding behind us so closely that I couldn't even see the front of his truck. We switched lanes when it was clear enough to get out from in front of him, and he got next to us and started trying to actually push us into oncoming traffic. Luckily there was a break in traffic, so we were able to turn left and get away from him... Buuut the car had the dealer plates on it, and he was waiting for us at the dealership. When we pulled in, he came racing out from behind the building and forced us to run away in reverse while he tried to push us into traffic again. By this point, I had pulled out my cell phone to call the police on him, and was using my cousin's phone to record the incident. He saw me recording and left.

The police caught him later that day, and it turned out he was high on something that made him rage so bad... But it was really scary! We had my bit of recording as well as the recording of the dealership's security camera's, so he was charged with no problems at all. It took quite a while to calm down from that one... I was shaking for quite a while! We calmed down with ice cream therapy at Coldstone. ;)

In general, I don't get too upset when people road rage on me. I just ignore them, and keep on keeping on. If I am not in a position where they will be gone soon, I just smile and wave. With all the crazies out there, it's safer not to react negatively, for fear of escalating an already sketchy situation.

Sorry, but I deal with these little 'moments' of drivers being in the crosswalk ALL the time. I don't know whether they are trying to get a jump on a right-hand turn, and since they are looking left, I can't catch their eye and guess what? We do the smart thing and wait on the corner to cross... and sometimes have to wait through a whole traffic cycle~

Because a lot of drivers seem to feel that they are the only person out there.

So, you know, I wouldn't have sworn at you, but I would have had a pissy look on my face and shook my head. Because while it may have been the first time someone did that, it happens to us, the pedestrians, ALL the time. I have had to make choices about having to take my stroller out into traffic, etc. where I am assessing traffic from four directions now, instead of three.

Don't forget, too, that with all the big cars on the road, if you are pulled up that far beyond the line, I may not be able to see around your car and ascertain if other cars are pulling over to take an oncoming right turn, so in going around some vehicles without that visual, I could get creamed.

I expect my son to walk INSIDE the white lines; sadly, I know that cars don't give the same consideration to us. And experiencing that repeatedly, it gets really freaking old. So, I might swear under my breath if I have to walk around someone's car because I'm really flipping sick of it. I won't scream at that person, though, because I don't trust people who are so careless about this sort of thing not to flip out on me. They are already showing me that they consider it MY problem.

What I DO love-- is when the person who pulled up too far makes an effort to apologize. When they are willing to roll down their window or even mouth 'sorry' or say "I'd try to back up but there's someone behind me... do you have enough room?"... it's then that I feel they ARE looking out for our safety and that they do see us.

We live near a busy hospital and have to cross an intersection full of distracted drivers who are all in more of a hurry than anyone else. All I can think is thank goodness the hospital is close by.

I commend you on being able to hold it together. It's people like you who keep this world a little saner. We all make mistakes and we can all lighten up, especially if there was no chance of anyone getting hurt in your particular situation. Thanks for being one of the peaceful ones.

A comment about the yellow light. If you saw the light chang color, you're the first person at the intersection and are too close to stop brhind the crosswalk you have enough time to go through the intersection
. The lights are timed for you to do that. What police watch for is the car still in in the intersection when it turns red. If your car is under the light when it turns red and there is nothing such as squealing tire going on you are OK. No ticket.

Later: when I get angrier than the situation warrants or more thsn usual for me I know that my anger is fueled by more than that situation. I start looking at past experiences that are related in some way. For a recent example in my own life. I find myself getting irritated by a friend when she tells me such things as the light is red as I begin to slow for the light. I want to say "that's why I'm slowing down" in a snarky tone. Instead I remind myself thst she's not my father. Growing up I felt like my father tried to control everything. When he did a ride along with me he told me what equipment to carry as if he was the experienced officer. My friend has become dependent on me similar to ways my father was dependent on me. I feel like they are trying to control me. So my anger automatically comes out when I feel that way. This is a new insight for me. I can usually stop the snarky comment by conciously saying to myself that my friend is not my father and that I am now in charge of my life. Eventually I'll be able to let go of that anger that began in my childhood.

A more simple reason for extreme reactions, as another mom suggested, is that you are overwhelmed alteady and this incident is the last straw. You reaction could be telling you to make some changes to reduce your stress.

I love your ETA, I am more than willing to own up to my mistakes but when you start yelling and calling me names it is all over.

I think you did a great job in holding your temper and you set a great example for your little one. The woman may have been having a bad day but, really, that is no excuse.

And for those that are giving in you a hard time because you accidently crossed the crosswalk line, I wouldn't listen to that either mainly because I find it hard to believe that they have never made an error while driving either.

It would have gotten my blood warm too had I been in your situation. Sounds like you did just fine and reacted like the adult you are. :-)

Couple thoughts:

On Saturday, after a computer repair guy was quite rude to my almost-8-year-old, we had a whole big "you don't know what kind of day they're having" conversation. I led with "maybe his dog just died"; my son pointed out that his house could have been engulfed in a volcano and his entire family abducted by aliens.

So, the same applies for this woman. Maybe her house was engulfed in a volcano and her family was abducted by aliens. You never know ;). But seriously, I do think it's better, rather than assuming "bad person" to say "person having a bad day."

By the same token, we don't know what kind of day YOU were having. Maybe you've lovingly, wisely "spent" all your patience on your kids and just don't have any to spare for random strangers crossing the street. Maybe ... anything. Just like you should step back and give other people the benefit of the doubt, you should also give it to yourself.

It's also worth recalling that things like swearing mean different things to different people. For some people, the "f-bomb" truly is a bomb. For others, it's almost a way of being friendly, of signalling that you're peers and equals and don't stand on ceremony.

Finally, I don't think I've had a real episode of road rage, personally. My father really struggled with that and drove very dangerously and aggressively, so my brother and were both sort of scared into being calm drivers. I do have "road impatience" though, where I can spend a whole trip drumming my fingers on the steering wheel muttering "come on, come on, come ON." This is usually because I'VE gotten off to a late start, so it's completely my fault. So, plenty of foibles on my part; just not this one.

Yeah...road rage is all the time around here. Traffic is horrendous in my area. Yes, the woman's reaction was totally out of line. Is it possible that she was already crossing when you drove over the line? I would be pretty upset if I was trying to cross the road and felt like I was close to being hit by a car. She probably should have just held her tongue. You already know that you were wrong as well. It is hard to justify that sort of rage when you were in the wrong too.

I think it is great that you held your temper. That is a great example to your children. I don't think that I would have done anything differently than you did with the rage. I deal with idiot drivers all the time and I seriously have to hold my temper.

We had a man pull around us and stop his car and get out and start approaching our car. I told my husband to start driving around him and hopefully he would get out of the way, luckily he did and we drove off.

Well, if a police officer had chosen to do so they could have ticked you for being in the crosswalk. It's beyond the white line that is the limit for your vehicle. In this case you were beyond the line for stopping and should have gone on through if you could have done so safely.

I know things happen and we all sometimes go too far into the intersection.

I have been totally mad like this too.

As for your so what happened. Have you considered that you pulled in front of her while she was pushing her CHILD? That she might have felt threatened and in danger? I'd be pissed at you too.

Step back from being mad that she called you a name and change places with her. You'd have felt the same thing she did, that this vehicle pulled in front of you and could have hit your child in their stroller.

I think you need to see things from a different perspective, that's all. It might help you to not be angry about this incident any more.

OK, so you were in the wrong for mistiming the light or whatever and parking over the cross walk. S@&t happens, nobody's perfect. I wouldn't have apologized after she started calling you names either, geez. At least you didn't sink to her level and yell back at her. You have every right to feel mad.
There was one time we were crossing the street, it was a fairly busy street and we were too far from the crosswalk to walk and cross. So a truck comes by and stops so that we can cross but there were cars coming on the side of him so we ushered him to move on. He got all mad and even tried to take up another lane and stopped traffic. We just waited for him to go and he's all yelling at us because we didn't take his generosity or whatever. Ugghh, people, like I'm going to cross when there are other cars coming!

Not really, but I just gotta say that something is wrong with that woman. Calling you that kind of name is just ridiculous, for one thing. (There are people out there who would pull a gun on her for that.)

Something was wrong with her...