D. ~ First of all, I want to congratulate you on being with your husband for 12 years and 7 years of marriage. It is a wonderful accomplishment. Good for both of you!! As to your request for comments, I believe romance comes in different forms and is shown differently by everyone. I too, like many of the women who have responded, believe that you should take the first step and your husband will follow. Cooking and cleaning is really not the same as romance, although we do it out of love. Think of the things your husband does for you that are not "romance" but are done out of love. I'm sure your will come up with several. I don't know that the things I'm about to say would qualify as advice, but they are comments and they do work in my marriage. My husband and I have been together for 8 years and married for 5. I believe we have a good relationship and a loving one. We take a bath together at least once a week. This is nice because when we are in the tub, there is no television or anything else to distract us. We will sit in the tub and talk sometimes about nothing and sometimes about serious stuff, it just depends on our week. I add bubbles and he lights candles and we sit there for anywhere from 1/2 and hour or longer. I rub his feet and his legs, he rubs mine all while we are visiting. It's nice and for me that qualifies as romance. He is also very affectionate with me walking around the house. I'll pass by him and he will reach out and grab my hand or I will randomly give him a kiss or I'll be doing dishes and he will come up behind me and grab my boobs or kiss my neck. Little things, but very meaningful. We only have one day off together each week, Sunday, and we always spend it together. We'll go to the Farmer's Market, or a movie, or a walk at the beach, or to garden shops, whatever but we are always together on Sunday. That's our day. He has Wednesday off during the week and he does his own thing that day, I do my thing with my friends and/or my two girls on Saturday and Sunday is always our day. Neither of us plans anything with anyone on Sunday, try something like that. Spending time together helps fuel romance and really does keep the marriage alive. Sometimes people get caught up in their day to day lives, they forget a marriage is work too. It sounds to me like this is what is happending with you and your husband. I think you not only love your husband but you like him too and you are looking for ways to keep the relationship going. I commend you for this.
As for the sex, we received a book as a wedding gift from a very good friend, called "52 Invitations to Grrreat Sex" by Laura Corn. Look into this book. It has "for his eyes only" and "for her eyes only" invitations. You would go to the first invitiation and mail it to your husband. It is an actual "invitation" telling him the night/day, time and what he needs to bring/wear. Then it gives you a list of things you will need for the night and what you need to do. Here is an "example". My husband is receiving an invitation this week called "Kinky Kisses." It tells him to meet me in the living room at 8:30 p.m. and he must "wear your sunglasses". and R.S.V.P. with a "Kinky Kiss of your own, planted anywhere that I do NOT have a tan." I need one blindfold and one silk scarf. I blindfold him and tie his hand behind his back and take him to the car, putting him in the back seat. I drive him around for a while after telling him "You just sit there and be a good boy. We're going for a little ride . . ." I drive him around until he is not sure where we are, find a quiet street, an isolated parking lot, something safe and private. once I have secured the spot, I tell him "Stay right here. I'll be back. Then, after two minutes, I go out, do not speak, get in the back seat and give a blowjob, he can't touch me because his hands are tied, he can't see me because he is blindfolded. It's a little kinky and very sexy and believe me, next week, I'll be getting my own invitiation in the mail.
So, give it a try. Keep your marriage alive, keep loving your husband and give him the chance to love you back. Marriage is wonderful, but it takes both people working 100%. Give a little, get a lot, that's what I think. It's easy to get lost in the every day things, live outside the box. Best of luck to you and your husband.