Santa Claus Is Coming to town......at Least I Hope He Is ;)

This hits my heart heavily as my son just told my mom the other day that he asked for an xbox last year and didn't get it so he must not have been "good enough" last year... I cried, pulled myself together and then, knowing that this year was going to be even harder financially and in other ways, had a talk with him. I opted to tell him that the "naughty vs. nice" list doesn't exist, that Santa isn't judgemental just because a child makes a wrong choice now and then throughout the year, because Santa knows as we know, that it's not his place to judge anyone. I then explained that there are not enough specific toys in the world for everyone to get the same thing so sometimes Santa has to choose which child really needs it... compared to the things they already have and the other things they are gettting. For example, he already has a ps2 at my house, which he got guitar hero for, and a game cube at his dad's house.
When they were making their lists later, I reminded them that it would be a good idea to make some smaller wishes. I also have all of my kids go through the adds and choose things and remind them all of how much things cost and how much it would cost santa if he gave just all of my kids exactly what they wanted... another reason they are more likely to get the smaller ones. My older girls got real smart this year... their lists were in categories (under $10, under $20, etc. )and the less expensive, the more that was on the list.

It shouldnt matter "what" you put under the tree from santa, especially since you say you make Christmas more about Christ's birth and family. As long as they get something from Santa to know he was watching them and saw they were good this year. It can be something simple. If you have a girl it could be a new set of hair accessories that you can pick up at the dollar store. If you have a boy it could be a new game or car, also at the dollar store. Since you dont make presents the focus of Christmas, then I bet they'll be happy with whatever "Santa" brings them :)

I remember as a kid I didnt always get what I asked Santa for but I loved to see what he brought me. That was the best part was to wait in anticipation to see what he brought me.

Good luck and Merry Christmas!

Well, this probably won't sit well with some of you, but what we have told our 3 children since they were born is that Santa is not real and a couple of reasons why we have taken this approach is for 1-so that we can truly focus on what Christmas is all about (the birth of Christ) and 2-we want our children to know that even though they cannot see Jesus, He is real and when you put Santa, Easter Bunny etc. into the mix and then the kids find out none of them are real, where do they stand in their belief of Jesus (they may question that too). We are all about the truth and nothing but the truth in our home. Plus, we also tell them that Daddy works way to hard to provide for our family so our gifts don't need to be labeled with someone else's name. Sure our kids love the idea of Santa, but they do know it's someone in a costume and nothing more. Please do not feel sorry for our children...they are not deprived and our home is truly blessed with the love of Jesus. MERRY CHRISTMAS to you all!!!!

you-- remember it's only one day a year, the gift giving thing, the loving feeling is everyday and last all year, give of yourself, let each choose an activity to do only with you, cheaper that way also, a day to teach 1 to knit will result in great gifts latter,if you don't knit take a class together. let them see that ''stuff'' comes and goes. a day of baking goodies that freeze or take to shut in neighbors. much love, bigs for the holidays , mona

I knew a family that told their children that parents paid Santa to bring toys, which is why the children of wealthier families recieve more toys, as well as more expensive toys. The thing that this same family did that I REALLY like though, is that their children, (now grown adults,) always received no more than three gifts under the tree, since that is the number of gifts that Jesus received. By the way, I was a single Mom for almost 10 years on a very low income, and my children grew up knowing that many of their toys were second hand, but they never cared. They still get things that we buy off of Craig's list, enabeling us to buy them nicer things that we would be able to buy at Wal*Mart or Target or wherever. Christmas blessings to you and yours! :)

If I was in your situation, I would have Santa write each of my girls a special letter and mail it to the house. Santa would explain that times are tough. When gas prices were high, the price of reindeer feed went up too. It is expensive to get reindeer feed all the way to the North Pole. Plus elves may be small, but they eat a ton. Santa would tell them that he KNOWS that they have been very good and he is sorry that he could give them something grand ...and maybe ask them to help him by giving each other presents... or explain that he had to ask your parents for help in giving them presents.

With money being lean this year we are making gifts for each other. I am baking a small tin of cookies for each of my kids.
Santa is giving one gift each as we have done each year. I was raised in a military family with not much money. We got one gift from Santa each year. There were times that is all we got.
Sometimes we got more when my parents were able to do so. By keeping the expectation from Santa at a minimal my kids don't have big expectations at Christmas. We have taught them the spirit of Christmas is doing and giving to others.
It's not easy still when others spend so much money on Christmas and my children see that and ask why?
I explain that the material things are nice but having someone take their time to make something is more special because it is a labor of love. They have recieved such gifts through out the childhood and still treasure those items made.

I think it's very reasonable to explain the situation (if you need to) with some reality. Santa gives the children what he wants to give them, and it may not necessarily be something on the list. Just as sometimes grandparents end up giving something that they would like to give. Your girls are at an age when it's fine to put some emphasis on the giving end of things. (Kids are pretty conditioned to focus on the receiving, even by parents who use Santa as leverage to get 'good behavior' from their children.)

It's also okay to let your children know that Santa's trying to make better choices about his resources.:)

Best wishes!

I don't really have a suggestion about how to explain the situation, but I do have a suggestion for a tradition that has been my family's most important Christmas tradition throughout my life. At Christmas we always get a box of sweet junk food dry cereal wrapped in the Sunday comics. The tradition started when we (my siblings and I) were little kids. We never had sugary cereal in our house. One very lean year, my parents could only afford to buy us one present. To fill out the gifts, they wrapped up boxes of cereal in the only wrapping paper they could afford, the comics. We were ecstatic when we each got a box of cereal to eat all by ourselves however fast or slow we wanted to, no questions asked. Every year my mom continued the tradition and even now we always have the cereal under the tree. In lean years, it is always welcome. In better years, we are reminded how fortunate we are. The tradition doesn't have to be about sugar cereal, just something wonderful and inexpensive that your children don't get to eat often. Wishing joy to you and yours.

This might be a good time to talk to your kids about all of the kids out there who won't be getting anything for Christmas this year from their families because they can't afford it, how even Santa may be hard pressed to keep up with the number of needy kids out there this year, and talk to them about how they are very lucky to be getting something from Mom... see if you can get your children to write to Santa letting him know that it would be OK to bypass them this year so that he can make sure to get gifts to the most needy children. If you can pull this off (maybe remind them how much Santa will appreciate this generosity and that they will be on that "nice" list for awhile if they do something this selfless), then still leave them something like a giant Hershey bar in their stockings with a fancy note from Santa telling them what wonderful children they are and how their generosity helped the other kids on his list.

If they don't go for this suggestion, have them make a list that includes a lot of smaller things, as Santa is scaling down this year... :)

I purposefully do not buy everything my son asks for...and purposely do not tell his grandparents everything he wants so he does not get everything he thinks he wants. If he were to always get what he wants, he would grow up thinking he was entitled to whatever he wanted...and perhaps someday use credit to get it.

I think in these lean times it is a great opportunity to teach our kids what matters most...and how wonderful it can be to give rather than just to get. In lieu of gifts for each other and our kids...a group of our friends are pooling the money we'd normally spend on each other and helping out a family that does not have anything extra this year...every month.

Our son asked at a very young age if Santa was real...so we told him the truth. We also teach him that there are other children that don't even have shoes or a toy or a house for that matter...around the world and across the street. We emphasize the reason for the Season...being the gift of eternal life because God came down as a man so that we might be reconciled with Him through the sacrifice of Jesus. How His whole life is the gift...His perfect life imputed on our sinful lives when we receive His gift of salvation through confession and faith. I wish more people wanted to know about that gift.

Take them to look at Christmas lights, go sledding and sing songs (out of tune of course.) lol Bake something and add sprinkles or just let them sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it or have hot cocoa w/ mini marshmellows. When the day comes for the possibility of tears and complaining. Say, with a hug and hope. I'm sorry you feel sad I will be here with you and we can talk about which of the pretty lights you liked best. I love you. Then they are stronger for learning a hardship young and are supported through it w/ love. Merry Christmas!!!

I can't WAIT to hear about the Sticky Bun Lady!. I did two things: one- explanations - ''Santa never hurts parents feelings - Santa loves parents, too- and he only gives what parents can help with''. ( that doesn't really make sense to children- but they hear the authority in your voice and know that it makes sense to YOU- and they reluctantly '''buy'' it.)

Two--- you can get really creative about gifts:
1. rent a musical instrument?? ( that costs just a few dollars a month- and a keyboard would be fun for everyone to learn to play)
2. A puppy or a kitten IFFFFFF your life supports that would be a fabulous present - just be sure your life is open to a kitten or a puppy - or even an adult critter from the pound
3. ''''gift certificats'' -- you could decorate gift certificates that said ''' this coupon is good for a night of slumber party with Mom - ''' or '' this certificate is good for YOUR choice of what we'll have for dessert Saturday night'' or ''' this is good for an afternoon of shopping with FIVE dollars at the dollar store'' -- or ---

Many blessings,
J.

Hi, K.--

I can totally empathize. Fortunately my 3 year old doesn't fully get how Santa is supposed to bring items of request. She has mentioned things she might like. I try to set things up year round and always mention how very fortunate we are to have so many things already. When she pitches a fit in the store wanting to have something, I acknowledge that this is something she "wants", that we get what we "need", but we don't always get what we "want". I try to let her know that she has many things already and, if she really wants something, she can ask for it and/or save up for it. I buy things from garage sales and Goodwill during the course of the year for things that I think she will enjoy, but theyy aren't necessarily going to be the big who-hoo ones on a wishlist. Still, I know my daughter pretty well and some of the things she will enjoy and use much longer than the ones touted on commercials and in stores. My extended family is feeling the pinch this year more than ever so we had some frank discussions. We have had an ongoing agreement that used stuff is still "new" to us. We are fortunate that my daughter has older cousins who willingly hand things down to my daughter. Last week we went to the Zoolights and my daughter was more interested in playing with my camera than actually seeing the displays. I realized that she has always liked cameras and taking pictures. Soooo... I mentioned this to my sister and she said her kids had a kids' camera that they no longer use. She is giving it to my daughter for Christmas. I guess what I am saying is this: we are all feeling the pinch on budgets and will need to lower our expectations for Christmas, enjoy what we already have, enjoy things that are more important like each other, as well as get creative with gifts. We can make some gifts and we can barter and we can put it out in the universe for what we really want. The fact that I casually mentioned the camera to my sister and she had one to spare meant a great deal to me. It is a win-win. I hope you and your girls have a great Christmas! I really think you will because you are a concerned and wonderful mama already.

K. C,
I am in a similar boat as you are... I have learned to pray alot and have faith. Presents aren't everything. The gift of eachother is alot. In some aspects the 8 yr old might understand that $ is not ok.. I would just try to talk to them... the one year old is not going to remember... Have faith... and pray things will happen... they have for me.. Peace and love during this holiday season. I am not trying to sound all spiritual on you but this has been my experience. My husband has been out of work since Sept. and we have a 15 year old and a 3 year old.. My husband wants to buy a gift for eachother, however we are 600.00 negative in our account and I do not get paid till friday. I just have faith... and pray things will come along. My husbands cousin came to him last week and told him that he could earn some money...it was enough to pull us out of the negative.
Come to think of it, my mom when we were little wrote "santa" wrote a letter to us, in a x-mas card saying this year... Just because you did not receive what you exactly wanted for christmas... does not mean you are not loved and that you have not been good this year,look for next year, it will be better. Family is Christmas... and that year we got a kit to do stuff together... That year I do not remember what I did not get... what I remember is that Santa wrote me a letter, He wrote me a letter, and he gave us the gift of family time... a story we tell every year and we learned material things are material... Family and love is forever... year round! I hope this helped you. You are not the only one out there... There is alot of us! Hang in there love! God Bless
N.

I am a mom of three boys...my hub has had to take on a second job just to keep up with rent...This year i am depending on the santa from other family memebers. They all thankfullyy understand where we are financially and are more then willing to try and make up for us not being able to afford anything. i feel horribly guilty that their own parents cant actually get them anything. but i think they would much rather have food to eat and a place to call home then a toy they play with for about a day and forget about. i have tried to put more of an emphasis on giving this year. we have given food donations to nwh and clothes to treehouse which helps support foster kids. i am trying to teach them that sometimes others need more then we do...i think that will be the focus this year for us since we dont NEED anything. good luck and dont feel guilty you love your girls and gifts can be given anytime of year!!!

Luckily we have a lot of family that asked what our kids wanted so we could pass on the dolls and smaller things to save for the bigger items. One area I did scrimp on was buying a different color chair than she had picked, I already prepared her for it by saying that sometimes santa can't find the pink ones and has to get a different one.

This is also a good opportunity to teach them to be thankful for what they do get. And we've been watching the animated grinch movie, the message is all about the true christmas spirit, which doesn't have anything to do with presents, decorations, etc..

Maybe you can make a list too (bigger house, new car, earrings, new shoes, etc.)and show her that not even mommy gets everything on her list? You'll make the best of it for your family, blessings to you mama! Merry Christmas :)

It looks like you've gotten lots of responses. I haven't taken the time to read them all, but will! When my daughter was 4, she asked Santa for something that we could not afford at all because my husband had lost his job. For me that was a very hard Christmas! Growing up, my sister and I would spend hours opening gifts! I felt sad because I couldn't give that to my daughter. I sat down with her and talked about being sad because Daddy lost his job. I told her that we wouldn't be able to buy many gifts and certainly couldn't get her everything she asked us for. We talked about what Christmas means to my husband and myself. I told her we are celebrating the birth of Christ. She got so excited and asked if we could bake Him a cake! That is now our family tradition. We bake a birthday cake for Jesus every year. We also talked about how fortunate we were because there were families who didn't have the things we had. She, at 4 years old, asked me if we could take some of the gifts my parents and sister had sent and to those families. So we also now adopt a family each year.

To lighten the topic a little, this year (she's now 6..will be 7 in February) I asked her what she was asking Santa for and she named 2 games. I was thinking we got off very easy this year! I asked if there was anything else and she seemed hesitant to tell me. I told her she didn't have to tell me and she said, "No mommy, I'll tell you." She proceeded to tell me that she also asked Santa for a baby sister! hahaha I quickly informd her that while Santa may deliver baby dolls, he does not deliver babies! =)

Dear K.;
Could you please e-mail me your sticky buns recipe..
My e-mail is ____@____.com..Thanks..

The 8 year old is definitely old enough to learn about the economy and politics. The 8 and 6 year old can both understand supply and demand. I would watch the news with them and talk about people's jobs and how they work for money and just explain it to them. If you must make Santa and the Elves at the North Pole part of the economic system and job loss statistics, I guess you have to. Certainly, with fuel oil costs going up, it must be difficult to run that toy factory at the North Pole. I'm surprised it hasn't been outsourced or off-shored yet :-)

~S

You don't say how old your girls are though from a toothless grin of your younger one I guess she's about 6 or 7. We had a tradition when my children were young of making homemade presents to each other that were presented on Christmas Eve to each other. The presents were all wrapped under the tree. It could be very simple as a crayon drawn picture, a rudely carved sculpture, a song, or a story written for someone. The parents could knit, sew, write a story, etc...

On Christmas morning Santa had filled their stockings with small things like; candy cane, little bit maple sugar candy, little puzzles, small gift certificates to a favorite place (older kids),coupons for special days together, etc... We focused on the magic of Santa filling the stocking and said Santa gives presents to everyone all over the world and has his own lists for children. Our children were discouraged from making a list or if they gave us a list we'd say it was out of our hands and up to Santa. The magic is still there without the emphasize on "I want".
I know it's harder when you have been doing it one way from the start to change to another way. Try to redirect the attention away from "getting" and help them to give to their other family members, teachers, and friends. If they tell you what they want or give you a list for Santa you could say who knows what Santa will choose for you, it will be a surprise!

Good question! How about this: you can explain that there are more kids who really need Santa's help this Christmas. I believe that even our youngest kids are aware that something is not right with the economy. We have tried to help our kids understand that more kids are going without, and that we need to do more to help. So Santa brings extra gifts to kids who may not have received a birthday gift. My kids like to open lots of gifts, so we tend to get less expensive items that go a long way. The more presents, the better, regardless of what's inside. You get the idea. You could also start a new tradition this year. On the evening of the 23rd, we walk around our neighborhood and look at the lights. It's magical. There is so much more to Christmas than presents. Every Christmas morning, my kids have letters from Santa thanking them for the treats, etc. If there is something different about a particular Christmas, this has been a good way to convey it to the kids. Not all kids will get it right away, but they shouldn't be underestimated. Merry Christmas to you and to your family.

Maybe Santa had to lay off elves because of the economy so all the children will need to accept what he brings as he didn't have the staff to make the big things. LOL At least the adults will get that one.

Our kids make a list every year but not specifically for Santa because he already knows what they "need". The want list goes to family and even then they know it's not guaranteed. Good luck and happy holidays!

Our 5 years old son knows that Santa is bringing only one thing. He still makes a Christmas wishing list and he picks up what he wants from Santa, only one thing. And the other thing he knows is that the rest of his wishing list goes to grandparents, cousins, friends and etc., so they will have an idea what to get him for Christmas. So, yes, there is only one present from Santa and the rest is from family and friends. This year while he was picking the present from Santa I did have a "talk" with him and persuade him that he might like better the star war set that has quite few things in it than the big one that has only one thing. He did agree and the difference between the sets is 70 $. Getting only one thing from Santa give us the opportunity to talk about the gifts he gets from the rest of the family and write them "thank you" cards. You can also work that out with family and friends and ask them for checks or gift cards, so you can get them the big thing that they really want. In our house we recognize the gift from Santa because it is not wrapped, for the rest we can see and read the cards who they are from. To compensate for the gifts you can make them write a wishing list for fun activities they want to do on Christmas day. Years from now they will remember the fun stuff you did together as a family and the love you shared, not the presents they had. And let's not forget that after all the Christmas is for giving not for receiving. Wish you lots of fun on Christmas!

Santa only fills the stocking at our house. He's a Christmas "extra" at our house. Christmas is about the miracle of Christ, and helping and loving others as He would have us love. That's what we try to teach your kids. If you're honest and open with your children, they'll want to love and give too. Kids are often the best examples of love and service. Maybe you should have a family meeting about different options the four of you have to provide service in the community. Singing Christmas songs at a retirement home is a popular and easy one for kids. Or delivering cards that the kids make.

Merry Christmas!

Hi K.,
I know exactly what you mean. My Husband got his layoff notice so all of a sudden if felt like Christmas just stopped!. This is what we told our son (he is five) this year: the story of Christmas and that Christmas is about the birth of Jesus (not sure of your religion, we are not "religious" so to speak, we don't go to church, but we do believe in God), and that Christmas isn't about "getting gifts" it's about helping out others, and spending time with your family. Also, we tell him when he is writing his Santa letter (and we have done this since the first Santa letter), that the gifts you ask Santa for are only suggestions for Santa, he may have a different gift in mind for you. If you go to see Santa, most Santa's are very good about not promising any gifts. We also explained how this year is very hard year in our world and that many people are out of work, so Santa will probably only bring one gift on the list this year because he has to help out so many more people this year. Now we are trying to make thing like going Christmas Light looking our neighborhood and baking cookies and singing Christmas songs more important and fun and not focusing on what we "want" Santa to bring. I'm sure there will be a little dissapointment on Christmas morning but we will deal with that then. Good Luck!

UGH! This is a tough one.
My 10 year old asked for a motor scooter! Not only is it absolutely ridiculous, but there's just no way even if we thought it was a good idea. My younger girls won't realize the "cost" of christmas like my 10 year old. I made her write a list of what she wanted and I got her a few of the less expensive items. I also shopped around for discounts and deals and found similar items to what she put on her list for much much cheaper. I know, however, my 10 year old doesn't really believe in santa anymore.

Sorry, I wish I could say more. Just do your best.

My daughter is 2.5 and u wouldn't believe the stuff the lil brain asks for.I work pt, only 3 hrs a day and tho the pay is good considering just how little work goes into making lunch for a few hundred junior high kids it isn't enough to get her the things she wants.
I just explain to her that Santa has A LOT of kids around the world to buy/make gifts for and he can't give everyone what they want.I even had her pick a couple (a boy & a girl) off the Salvation Armys Angel Tree and told her we have to help Santa.We never buy anything big, just like a $5 gift like a baby doll and a pack of hotwheels.She was thrilled to be helping Santa..and she attached the tags to the gifts we got and proudly put the bag into the colletion box at walmart :)
It's become a tradition over the years in my family to buy a gift for at least one child off the Angel tree because come Christmas, we will be one of those families standing in line to get the things we need to make dinner and pick out a gift or 2 for the children in our family because there just isn't the money.

If they are getting old enough to understand turn Santa into a tradition. My mom never did gifts from Santa but told the story of St. Nick every year. We had a movie too about it, and we loved this. We usually did one present on Christmas eve (soemthing small) and then told the story. We loved to learn about why he did what he did - how he helped poor families. This eventually turned into a giving tree scenario so we could be St. Nick to someone who wouldn't get a Christmas otherwise - just like him! We're all adults now and the second that Thanksgiving is over we are running to the stores to find a special someone to love. This year I got to give to a three year-old....it makes my Christmas so amazing and I get reminded every year what it really is about. I can't wait till my babies are old enough and get to help pick our special someone off the tree. Note, though, that most trees need gifts back by the 10th or somewhere in that vicinity. Also gifts are usually limited to 20 dollars so you have to be really creative to get several items.

At our house Santa only leaves one present per child. Also my kids believe that Santa has a limited quantity of each itema nd may run out before he gets to them. As an example my son (age 7) is asking Santa for a Wii (which I cannot afford) so I told him that he better have a back-up idea as electronics from Santa run out quick, so his second choice is a DS (again not happening) and so I made him give Santa a third option just incase teh DS's run out before Santa gets to him on the list and I got him to pick an easy bake oven (which is much more reasonable). Perhaps something like that could have them thinking small enough to be affordable. I wish you the best of luck, I know it is tough.

Goodness this time of year can be so wonderful and frustrating in the same. The only thing we did this year was to make a list of items we wanted and even use pictures from catalogs etc and write letters to Santa. I have 5 year old twins and a 3 year-old. Myself and my husband did the same thing. We ended up putting things on the list that were out of the question like expensive jewelery, a fishing boat, a new television and other things we would love to have, but we understand we cannot afford, but also something easy to come byas well... my favorite cookies or a perfect fishing lure for my husband, inexpensive obtainable gifts for Santa to deliver.

The kids put 3 things on the list as well and we had them put something special on the list that might be obtainable. This need coaching of course, but they thought hard about what they wanted and added it to the list. My daughter really wanted a cake in the shape of Mickey Mouse, I know Santa can manage to come up with something like that!

We are hoping (like another woman stated in a response) seeing that Santa does not always bring exactly what is on our list is just the way it things happen, but the items we do received and our family time and fun activities together are what we can be thankful for. We have our own traditions of making cookie together, Christmas cards that are wacky for relatives and reading tons of Christmas stories. They kids at this age love the family time and is part of the advent count down to Christmas morning. Even setting out milk, homemade cookies and veggies for the reindeer is all great fun they are excited to do for that last 2 years. And those obtainable items from the list might take some extra thinking on Santa's part, but it will be worth it in the end. Hope it helps...Merry Christmas