Santa Claus: Real or Not

We all know when it's time to level with the kids about Santa. When they are old enough to no longer believe they are then old enough to rationalize why the "spirit: of Santa lives on through their imagination. Throwing the question at them "What do YOU think?" when they start asking is how you find out where their head is at on the subject and then you'll know what you need to say, either let the fantasy live on for another year, or let them know they are now old enough to understand why we do it for little kids and it is now their secret too.

MY daughter is 8. SHE believes in Santa, still.
YES a few of her classmates don't believe. They call the other kids "babies." My daughter, ignores them.

If you research online, "the history of Santa" you will see that he is real.
There is a history, of Santa/traditions and a premise for it.

What do you mean by failure? I am still a very firm believer in Santa: 4 years ago, my mom passed from a horrible battle with cancer on Dec. 11. I had spent ALL of my time, energy and money helping my sister take care of her so she could live out her final days at home instead of a nursing home with complete strangers. My older daughter had just turned 5 and my twins were almost 2. We didn't have 2 cents to rub together to even get them ANYTHING for Christmas, let alone buy food for the table. December 22nd, I got a certified letter from one of the local businesses in the area where a friend of mine works. Inside that letter was a check for $500 and another $250 gift certificate to the local grocery store. Please DON'T tell me there isn't a Santa!

Huh? Failure to do what? I'm sorry, but generations of children have grown up with the idea of Santa and I find it hard to believe that all of a sudden the whole thing has to be thrown into question because we are worried about the impact it will have on our kids. I can understand that families and parents want the focus to be on the religious aspect of the holiday and less so the secular. I understand everyone is concerned about excessive commercialism and the message that we are sending to our children. But I am surprised by the number of questions on here that have been dealing with the topic of Santa, what should we allow our children to believe, are we doing the right thing, etc. When did it not become okay for children to believe in Santa? Around the time it became not okay for them to go trick-or-treating on Halloween or go hunt for eggs left by the Easter Bunny and or leave a lost tooth under the pillow for the Tooth Fairy?

In our home, some presents and the stuff in the stocking will be from Santa. The rest will be from Mom and Dad. Hopefully when the time comes, it will make it a little easier to understand. Eventually all of us find out there really is not a Santa. But we can believe in the spirit of Santa and even teach our children about the real St. Nicholas and how these traditions have evolved over the years. I can't speak for everyone, but I don't know anybody that is scarred for life by learning there is no Santa. I figured it out for myself when I was 7 and I remember feeling really clever that I was able to discover "the big secret" all on my own - not disappointed, or angry that my parents "lied" to me.

Not at all. I think people are over thinking the Santa thing. Children accept information they are ready to hear. In Fifth grade, my mom sat down with me and tried to discuss the 'birds and the bees' with me. I wasn't ready for that much detailed information. I think the same thing happens with Santa. When children are ready to stop believing, they do. No trauma involved. If there are questions about lying, you simply say that, Santa Claus is in the heart of those who believe.

As for the failure part, I don't understand your concern. Whether or not a person fails or succeeds at life or at individual pursuits has nothing to do with Santa.

It is so interesting to me that so many adults say they where so mad or hurt when they realized their parents had lied about Santa..

First of all it is pretend. Just like when your child is pretending to be a super hero or an animal.. You play along with them.. It brings them joy, it also helps them become more creative.

I was so proud of myself when I figured out the truth about Santa and got to be part of the" magic of Santa" for the younger kids. It was fun to know I was part of the grown up world knowing the truth about Santa.

I have always said, as long as you believe, Santa will bring you gifts.. I also love play along santa for those in need.. Many times, leaving surprises all signed Santa and the gang.. Never fessing up.

We helped a former employee for many years, when she became extremely ill and could no longer work. She was losing her home, her car.. Having trouble paying bills, but Santa, Mrs, Claus, the Elves and Rudolph sent her gift cards each Christmas for $100.'s of dollars for about 3 years..

We never said a word.. She has no idea, except that the envelopes return addresses were all from the North Pole, Santa's workshop.

She is now a Nurse! Her sons are doing great! She was able to keep her home, purchased a new car.. Santa is real. He lives in us.. But allow your son to figure it out and then to join in..

I don't think it sets them up for failure - disappointment yes, failure no. This is my pat answer when it comes to Santa:

I actually never 'fessed' up to this. When my girls asked, I told them that as long as they believed in the magic of Santa, he would always exist.

And every year Santa leaves presents for them.

How on earth would it set a kid up for failure? And sorry, people who were just crushed and felt betrayed and lied to by their parents, I don't get that at all! I find it absurd. By the time kids start questioning and finally find out, they should be able to deal w/ the truth & the fact that it's all part of holiday fun for kids. I really can't believe how much this is being analyzed.

I think santa is great for kids. It teaches them to have an imagination. I was not hurt when I learned the truth about santa. I was thankful to my parents for making my childhood fun.

My son is almost 8 and he's starting to ask vague questions--yet he has not asked. point blank, whether he is real. That tells me he still believes.

I don't see that it "sets them up for failure"!

My son was told there was no Santa when he was in kindergarten! I wasn't giving up on the fun then so I explained that if you don't believe in Santa, he doesn't bring you gifts. He has believed ever since. This year though, although he still is very involved in fantasy, the logic just doesn't make sense and he has let on that he is highly suspicious. He is nine now. I told him what I did back then and he answered, "I know. That's what I'm afraid of! I mean I do believe, but everyone is telling me their parents have told them it's the parents". I think he feels it can't be true, but just in case, he wants those presents! He keeps looking around for where the presents could be stashed and he won't be finding any. He knows we are all together for Christmas eve and there's no way we could go get all that stuff and hide it all in one night. He keeps pondering that that part seems like there must be a Santa.

My older daughter has always just gone along with it even though she probably figured it out about 3 years ago when she was eight since she was in a 4/5th grade combination class for GATE kids who all knew too much for their own good.She even started a question around the class and would only talk to "the believers", (for fun).

I don't plan to ever "tell" them. They will know when they know and Santa will continue to visit as long as they "believe".

Let kids be kids. My 9, almost 10, year old still believes and I encourage it. You only get to be a kid once...

Hi K.,
I thought it would be a good idea to level with my 8 year old this year; he's in 3rd grade and I thought for sure he already knew (and was afraid that his classmates might tease him if he didn't; he's already kind of a target for teasing b/c he's kind of nerdy)...Well, long story short, he was totally blindsided and I felt really bad for bursting the bubble needlessly. I really wish he could've enjoyed the fun/naivety for another year or two. Upside is that now he is 'proud' to help his dad and I perpetuate the fun for his younger brother; he totally plays along and promises to not spoil it for his little bro. (also, for tooth fairy, easter B....etc)
So...my advice, keep a lid on it until your kiddo asks you about it. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I was WRONG and I regret it! Hope this helps, Merry Xmas (and Ho HO HO!!! ;-)

Kids talk and by this age some are finding out there is no Santa. No I don't think finding out sets them up for failure.

Ok, my mother STILL tells me Santa is real. She had a twisted childhood, and wanted me to be able to have as much of a carefree childhood as I could. She never admitted the Santa thing to me, no matter how much I asked. That said, she always made everything special. That is what I am doing with my kids. My 11 year old still tells me she believes, and she is a great kid. I will probably do the same as my mom. When my kids are 36 and 32, I will still play Santa is real. :)

To answer the question above, of course he doesn't visit kids who don't celebrate Christmas. Why would he?

when the time comes and my son questions the idea of santa, my response will be "if you don't believe, you don't receive .. it's your choice."

and leave it at that.

santa will always be in my heart!

merry christmas!

I don't really see what the big deal is. It's all in good fun. I don't know when I realized that Santa was pretend, but my mom and dad played Santa until I moved out at age 21.
I have an 18 year old, 15 year old and an 8 year old. At some point, my oldest figured it out, but she played along for the younger ones. My middle child did the same. My 8 year old probably knows but won't fess up. She asked me last year. My answer is always the same: "If you believe in Santa, he visits you and brings you gifts. If you don't believe, he doesn't. It's up to you whether to believe our not." She says she believes! And I'm sure she always will. And we will always play Santa. It's part of the magic and fun!
Last I checked, neither me, nor my brother, nor my older two children are failures.

In our world there is this huge push to make kids grow up faster. This is like the 10th question I have heard on here similiar in nature in the past few weeks. I say let the kid beleive until they decide they don't anymore.let them be kids. I don't know of a kid who felt tricked or set up for failure. While the existance of a Santa in this moment in time is debatable (there are historical records) the spirit of Santa rings true. Ask any of the families my family has "been" santa for if he exists. (they do not know it was us who left them gifts, food, clothes, etc for christmas) I bet they will tell you he does. While The whole santa and the north pole with the elves to be actual and legit is pushing it, I think it is fun to make beleive it is all real. Everyone in my family who beleives gets stuff from santa. Sure I know how it really happens (my mom's dad does it for all the adults). and sure it is like a restaurant gift card. no biggie. But for those that do not beleive, they get nothin'. So i maintain I beleive. ;0) Plus we get to get away from the craziness of our lives and remember being a kid again. so fun!

I was in third grade when I found out, and I told both my kids in 3rd grade because they both started questioning it and said some of their friends told them there is no Santa. I'm not sure what you mean by setting them up for some sort of failure...my kids have done just fine since they found out.

Do they really not know it's pretend from their friends of other cultures and religions? Or do they think that Santa visits them but not their Muslim and Jewish friends? Just wondering.