Saying Goobye...

Well SLM, considering so many wonderful insightful patient brilliant women on this site have tried very hard to help you when you've reached out, and you have systematically alienated every single one of them, yes, it's probably for the best.

Still, in spite of being kicked in the teeth by you repeatedly after kindly offering the guidance that you asked for, we still wish you peace.

:)

Bye. Thanks for the slap in the face to those of us that do love the Lord and still like to be a part of this site. You just did what you are complaining about...

James 1:26 ESV

If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless.

Best wishes L.

I've been thinking for an hour or so on whether or not I wanted to reply to this at all & if so, how. My first inclination was to be supremely snarky, but I stopped myself after realizing that it would likely go in one ear & out the other.

It has been stated time & time again on this site that if you don't like it, don't read it, or at the very least, don't respond to it. Sort of along the lines of 'if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all' like our mama's taught (most of) us.

If you're looking for a site where people post about the Lord, go find one of those. Or where people are posting about health matters (which, sexual health DOES actually fall into that category sometimes), go find one of those. Finances? Ditto. Mamapedia is for mostly female adults to discuss adult issues about children, relationships, health, religon, or just whatever we feel like.

Just as soon as you understand that nobody wants to be told (preached at) how to live, what to say, what to think, how to speak, that they're smutty, or just generally being looked down upon, & start treating adults as such, you'll find that you're much happier & more accepted overall. I honestly cannot remember a time that anyone has ever torn you down in one of your posts unless they felt directly looked down upon by you & pushed back. I wonder what has gone on in your life that makes you believe this is an ok way to live? I wonder why you don't understand that you've been doing unto others precisely what you're telling other NOT to do unto you? Glass houses & all....

*sigh*

Anyway, it's always sad to see someone go, but I'll be honest with you here: it's much LESS sad when their goodbye speech is dripping with condescention. I do wish you well in all you do, L. & hope that at some point in your life you are finally able to grasp what some of your real issues are.

Just like life, we have to make choices. This is your choice.

Your exit is really a strange exit.

When I see things, I do not want to participate in, I move on along, I do not stand a judge out loud about the others.

When I am in a store and see things I do not like or think are not appropriate, I do not stand there and tell others they are not making good choices, I instead move on along.

You have always sounded so lonely. I always worried you are so alone, you even sound frightened. Right now with the child care children being your whole world,you are living in a very small world, but there are a lot of things going on, and once you begin to expand your world, you will begin to feel more a part of it.

The Lord teaches us not to judge others, but to first take care of ourselves. Take time for yourself. But also work on how you deliver your message to others. You do deserve to be happy. Putting out judgements, I cannot imagine, it made you happy in your heart.

Ah, flouncing. The ancient practice of leaving an online community in a highly dramatic fashion, typically to satisfy a need for external validation, and usually in response to the realization that others on the planet *dare* to hold opposing views.

I say, don't let the door hit you on the a** on your way out!!

But maybe if you get enough sympathetic responses, you won't leave at all ... like most flouncers.

This is the most backhanded, rude comment ever. This is a website where moms can talk about any kind of issues they have. This website does not discriminate nor should anyone judge. The only person I see judging us and the people who write their questions and answers , is you. I am a catholic gay woman with 2 children through artificial insemination and I know that if you disagree with whats going on here, then sometimes its best to go with God and be silent. All I see in your words is a place of judging and evil. Have a blessed day !

All Christians don't feel like you, L.. In fact, some of your posts and questions don't give honor to the Lord at all. Before you comment on the speck in the mamapedia users eye, take care to notice the plank in your own.

Like Theresa said, I hope you find peace.

Why the grand goodbye gesture then? Your farewell post is weird and offensive. Just silently leave and take your judgements with you. Shame on you.

Judgey much? I almost did not read this because your posts tend to have a preachy judgmental tone - glad your final bow out did not dissapoint! Oh heathens stay and holier than thous part ways! Honestly you could not sound like someone who needs to re read the bible more based on this post. Oh and save your prayers - already talked to him and we are good, just gonna dance naked in the woods tonight ;)

L....not all of us believe in your God or any God or super being. Sex is real and in every relationship. This is a public form and if you don't like the question move on. It has been said so many times it's a broken record.

I don't agree with you on a lot of your responses/posts...but I do think you bring some value to this site. You bring a perspective I wholeheartedly disagree with but I read your answers and try to get something from them. Just as a I do everyone.

Can you not do the same?

As someone said, not sure how you had time to be on here all the time with your busy life and unfair demands on you and running a daycare with crazy parents etc. Sometimes you need to look in the mirror before you start criticizing others. This isn't a Christian site. I didn't care for the sex questions so I just skipped them. This is kind of like a girl calling a boy who's been blowing her off to say "don't call me anymore." Completely unnecessary. Just leave!

I think you were embarrassed by a responders remark about how long it had been since you and your husband had sex. Your whole life is about the Lord...that is not the case with everyone...it gets old after awhile. You have told about your problems with finances...your grandson...your daughter...your van...your kitchen table...your "husband and all his money"...how you're broke all the time....and a few ask a few questions about sex....and you're out the door!! Well....HELLO...it's a part of life too. You always come up with all these long winded answers to show how brilliant you are...and snotty answers alot of times...just take care of your daycare kids....and sit over there and sulk....I don't know how you always had the time to be on here anyway....with running a daycare.

Well live...

I am sorry if one of 'my' questions was the cause of your leaving.

This time...

As I recollect that you were under a different nic some time ago...and then came back as 'L.'.

I suspect something ticked you off under the old nic...and you became 'someone' new. BUT your syntax...your words...and your VERY often condescending attitude made who you were VERY clear.

I wish you well on your journey...

BUT for ME...save your prayers.

I am 'good' with who I am...

I wish you well.

Until we meet again...under your 'new' nic.

Best luck!
michele/cat

Live:

It was one day. It's a spike. If you are a true believer - you will see this as a way of God testing you.

Don't walk away. Show God you can handle things with love, kindness and Christianity. If the sex bothers you, skip it.

If there is such a thing as an unhealthy place if you love the lord you couldn't possibly be that committed in the first place. Not saying that you aren't it is just that makes this post kind of a BS attack on those of us willing to discuss those issues who do have a good relationship with god.

I personally don't like when people attack my relationship with god and that is exactly what you did in this post. In that case you will not be missed.

L., I love the Lord and in the bible it says that I was made for my husband to enjoy, and that we do.
The reason I love this site, is because there are a lot of things you can talk about that you wouldnt randomly be able to talk about at a playdate with other moms.
I enjoy being able to be open about it here. We are all adults right?
And I would have to say, the sex questions have pretty good warnings before you open them up.
I will never be ashamed to ask or respond to a sex question. That is a part of life.

I am not asking you to stay, if it is truly doing you harm, I hope that you go and wish you the best!!

Hmm...I didn't get back on last night so I missed all the juicy sex questions - I"m kinda bummed. :-(

You are of course entitled to feel however it is you feel - and if you don't like questions then don't open them OR answer them - but I think it's kinda silly to make a point of letting everyone know your leaving BECAUSE you found the questions about sex distasteful.

If I remember correctly you were among the FIRST people to respond to my question about oral sex - and while you tried to shame me (wondering why I felt the need to compare my sex lives to those of strangers) I am luckily not easily shamed so I clarified my question intent and moved on to read all the responses.

I think it is important to talk about sex and it does not need to be vulgar - but silence is often an indicator of shame - and if you can't ask an anonymous forum about sex (how often, what's normal, do everyone do this or am I a freak) then where in the world will it be appropriate?

My MIL did ask her kiddos (my hubby) one time prior to her husband passing away if they would buy her and him KY Jelly for Christmas - and she was serious. To me - that is much much much more offensive and mortifying then finding out hte general consensus on oral sex.

I hope you don't leave because I think this site benefits from everyone that takes the time to read and respond...whether I agree with their stance or not.

Also- -my apologies - I was wrong - you did NOT respond to my post. It was One Live Love or something like that - but she still tried to shame me and failed as well. :-)

Hi SLM aka L.....I know you are here. There is no way you can pray yourself away after all these years.

It's very sad, dramatic and not needed for the farewell message (I guess as much as my response). The mamas have been here for you for your MULTIPLE, ONGOING and DRAMATIC issues but you get upset because something doesn't apply to you? This is a site for adults.

It's quite possible that if you actually made it upstairs to where your husband lives and acted like a loving woman you wouldn't be so....gotta use the word here....frigid.

We are all in charge of our lives and if you want to make yours more enjoyable do it don't just complain about it (work and crazy familys that are drawn to you, family, cars, poor health, light bulbs, church, website choices, education, isolation, finances....).

I love the Lord and sex. =) Buh-bye...

Good luck. Perhaps you can find a Christian parenting site to belong to while the rest of us non-Christians talk about our filthy lives here on Mamapedia. Sorry if I sound snarky.

My father is a preacher who most definitely loves the Lord. And he gets sex questions from members of the church quite frequently. If it is asked tastefully (which the question I think you were most offended by was) then there is nothing wrong with discussing it. God created sex and it is a huge part of most relationships. I agree with the others that if you personally don't like a question, then skip it. Women in relationships are going to have sex questions. It is ok to ask about it and learn from others' experiences.

I hope that you find a Christian mom's site so that you will no longer have to be exposed to the opinions, desires and needs of others who may not always share your beliefs or agree with you.
It's a shame though because then you won't get any other perspectives. I know this site would be incredibly boring to me if everyone shared my opinions and values. I mean, what would be the point?

I am sorry you feel that way, but this is a public forum and not necessarily a Christian/religious one. A question about sex is not any less a "real question" than one about child care, health matters, marriage troubles, or finances. I didn't think one did not have sex or think about sex or discuss sex just because one is a Christian. I've always thought of this site as a place where people can seek advice and find out what others think - rather than be judged, or only find people that agree with them and feel the same way they do. Good luck finding a site that is more in line with your principles.

Not meant to be any kind of disrespect or slap in the face to Christians everywhere, but here is some food for thought, especially for this year being an election year:

"The government of the United States is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion." - John Adams

"Religion and government will both exist in greater purity the less they are mixed together." - James Madison

"The United States of America should have a foundation free from the influence of clergy." - George Washington

Peace be with you...& I hope you take the comments posted to heart. Many good words directed to you.....

As for those posts yesterday, I too found them offputting. But many of the responses were well-worth reading. Sex is a part of adult women's lives....& no subject should be taboo. I simply moved on....& didn't let it affect me. :)

I agree with all my gals on this one! Im not religious and I don't discriminate and to me if a devout christian you are? Good fir you! As well as buddists and jews and Hindus...you get it. I can't stand when people turn absolutely everything in to a big "god" discussion. Im a grown woman and I choose what I want and don't want to talk about! My non virgin eyes can handle it! Sorry yours couldn't! Good luck in the future love!

** aunt Mel, once again, I agree with every word. I swear we were sisters in a different life :)

You have to do what you think is best for you! I believe the information on this site is extremely valuable and appreciate that is it available to me and other moms that need help. I simply over look posts that are not to my liking. I don't agree with everything I read and at times, I choose not to read.
Good luck to you.

I love sex and I love the Lord! Just sayin'!

is this from the 2 posts yesterday? I am very new here. like 3 days old but I havent seen anything posted nastily or trashy, and I am real picky. You guys have no idea how picky and I am not a christian, I believe in karma tho and living by a high standard.
im sorry. but its okay to talk about sex. I mean that what we women on here have in common is Our kids and how we got our kids, our crazy families, relationships and our wonderfully want to strangle at times DH. Please reconsider, most of the sex talk yesterday had some real consequences on relationships and that was the point.
and if you are going to pray for me, include my daughter. she needs extra right now.

I'll think back on this thread and laugh. When I remember.

(get your daily dose of drama yet?)

Judge ye not,

Pray when you remember? One would think that you wouldn't have to remember to pray.

When you love the Lord, you will know what not to look at, hear or say. So I'm guessing you didn't exercise the delete or report button when you found something that was offensive.

Have a great life in Perfectland.

I always knew you'd be a Flouncer.

I think the reason for all the sex questions yesterday was because lately everyone has been doing spin-off or piggy back questions and that is why they were all there yesterday. It is getting kind of annoying to see all the spin off questions going around lately. But instead of letting it bother me I just skip over them. I'd give it a day or two and the sex questions will go away

And BTW all the religion questions bother me just like the sex questions bother you. I don't know why everyone that belongs to a religion just automatically thinks that everyone else does. I hate that someone asks a question and someone will go the answer pray or go to your church. When you say those things (not you you but those that answer that way) do you even know if they go to church?

Perhaps you should spend all the time you would spend on here at church praying for the dirty, dirty, dirty people who don't find sex offensive! Let's see -if you believe God or "the Lord" is responsible for everything, then God invented sex -OH -and it's how we ALL get here, but it's filthy? You know, you don't have to be frigid. There's help for that. There's also the option of skipping any post that's about sex...

And just a hint -even though there seem to be plenty of extremely religious people on here, this is not a "Christian" or "religious" site.

I actually thank the Lord that there is a place that I and other women and men can get truthful, insightful and most importantly - answers from people from all walks of life and experiences.

I can't tell you how many times I've thought "I never would have thought of that!" -even when it isn't my own question!! Your an adult... so just don't read the questions that are 'offensive' to you. Pretty Simple. Also - love Stephanie H's answer.... powerful.

I would think you would stay, being as you love to help people. If the sex talk bothers you, don't read it. You have spoken openly about it before without judgement from us. The threads yesterday were tasteful and loaded with commments from women in loving, healthy relationships/marriages. IMO, that is a great example as well as good information to get out there for others who may not be so fortunate.

If you leave, please try not to isolate yourself further. You seem to be someone deeply affected by the world around them. Empathy is a wonderful thing and you have it in piles. Don't let it go to waste!

I LOVE the Lord, and I LOVE mamapedia.

My place is secure with the Lord, and I will see Heaven some day.

Peace. (Literally, not sarcastically.)

I am a Christian and I would never talk about sex with the ladies from church or my friends. This is a safe place because it is anonymous.

Now having been molested and raped, I find some subjects totally gross.
Had I not experienced that, I am sure I would feel differerntly. I skip over the sex questions most of the time.

I like that I could ask a question on that topic if I ever wanted to, but I understand if you feel it is not for you. I wish you peace.

Bye, L., I've liked a lot of your answers for being bold. You added great variety to the site and I wish you all the best.

a funny sort of Brave Exit Speech. i'm sure there are christian fora for people who want to talk about the lord, not a wide spectrum of parenting issues (which includes sex.)
good luck! i hope you find a group that suits you better. believe it or not, i'll miss your input here.
khairete
S.

Wow, well. Good luck to you. I'm far from a regular but that's a LOT of drama over stuff that adults should be able to talk about. People shouldn't be shamed into not talking about stuff that's relevant especially in an anonymous forum such as this. You get the choice to read or not to read and other people do too. Do you know how many women suffer in silence because of things they feel aren't proper to talk about because of judgments such as the ones your placing? When people joke and laugh about this stuff it loosens up the conversation. I'm sorry for you that you can't edit your own information stream so as to make it suitable for your moral standards. I personally believe I am a moral person and there's nothing wrong to me with being comfortable talking about sex between two consulting (AND MARRIED, to suit your tastes) adults.

LiveBold--Although we didn't always see eye-to-eye on everything, I hate to see you go.
I agree that the oral sex question wasn't a question at all--just blabbering conversation.
I agree it was in poor taste.
I answered it with that perspective.
Maybe a comment makes someone else think, you know?

Sorry some have tried to use the bible to "scold" you or "make you see the error of your ways".
I prefer to keep our sex life more private and sacred. That doesn't mean it's dull or gone! It means it's special. Between US special. Sad a lot of people are so quick to flop it all out there for the world. Good luck!

Don't know if you are reading your responses here since you are leaving but for what it's worth I think you are overreacting. I honestly don't get it bc didn't we all have sex to get our kids? I think the question yesterday that seemed to really bother you was totally fine, people want to know things. I don't know if you pastor or have ever counseled, but believe me, these things come up! People who love God want to know what He says about sex and truthfully people want to know what God has to say on so many things and I am glad that He is even a consideration for people before they act! I don't give advice to people about sex or birth control when they are not married, bc my advice would simply be, get married or break it off! Since I am on this site a good bit, most people know where I stand on those issues and there is no reason to constantly bombard them bc as I said, they know. I do think it's fine for you to go off the site but to post this seemed like you just had to make sure people know that they disgust you and that you are totally offended, which is kind of childish. If you just wanted to go bc that was best for you, then you would have just done that, did you want others to feel bad? This is an anonymous site and should be a pretty safe place to ask questions one might otherwise feel embarrassed about. I do wish you the best and I do forgive you for saying no believer has a place on here. Take care!

I have a sneaking suspicion that you will be back or that you will still read but won't comment for a while.

I'm sure some people will miss you and others will not. Just in case you are actually leaving the mamapedia realm, I'll say goodbye to you and I wish you well.

I don't usually participate in the raunchy sex questions because I'm not the kiss-and-tell kinda girl, but hey, God created sex and sex is A-OK in my book!

Best of luck to ya and your Christian Blog!

L. - I will truly miss you . . . please take care and come back if you ever feel it's the right thing to do. I always appreciate your perspective.

All the best.

Well, I for one, will miss you and notice that you are not here with us anymore.

Peace and Love to you.
God Bless.

L. - I see you are probably already gone but I am fine with you leaving. You were the one response that I cringed at almost every time I read it. You were mean, thoughtless and often times cruel. God invented sex as a wonderful and loving thing so I am okay talking about it. No need to waste your prayers on me...I have a personal connection with God too and I am just fine. :)
L.

hug and best wishes to you.

I hope you find site that fits better. Good luck to you and your family in all that you do.

This post reminds me of all the people who complain about how Political Posts should not be on this forum, but then tell LiveBold to just skip the sex posts, please take your own advice.

Sorry to see you go:( You always give great advice:)