Seeking Advice on Kids with Anxieties/eating Disorders

Hi K.,
sometimes it's better to give sombody (your child) medication because the symptoms become so untreatable due to the anxiety (if that's what's causing it). In those circumstances it is better to actually lower his anxiety first so that he is "open to treatment" in the first place. The reason why it's hard to make him feel better now is because his anxiety is literally getting in the way. That's why it's important to get a handle on that first -- with meds -- before you can continue. And he's in good hands at Alexian. Trust your doctors (Alexian is a good place to be), and stay informed. You can find out more about anxiety and related symptoms at the website of the American Psychological Association: apa.org. Hope this helps!

If your son is only not eating at school, have you checked into what is going on in school to make his anxiety so high that he won't eat? Medication is never an easy thing. I hear your worries. But maybe if you gave it to him to initially calm him down, work the therapy, try and minimize the stress at home, then things will kick into place and you will be able to ween him off of it. I feel like it seems as though his life all around him is too stressful, starting at school, to home to the insane schedules, and then off to many activities. I have 3 boys of my own, and I totally understand the insanity of life. But, I have to make sure that things are always calm (I have a 7 year old with sensory integration who can be very anxious as well) - they can have one activity at a time that has to be on the same day and @ the same time so that we are not always rushing. It is important for ALL of us, me included, to be able to relax and actually just sit. When was the last time anyone in your house just sat and listened to themselves breath? Therapy for myself has been a big eye opener into a lot of this stuff :) It seems that we live in a society right now that if we do not go go go all the time and enhance everything in our child's life that we are not doing what we should be or we are failing as parents. When in reality we are producing high stressed, over achievers who have little social skills and turn out to have alot of problems later in life. I am by NO MEANS saying that that is going on here. I just think that it is very hard not to get caught up in what is going on around us with other kids in the neighborhood, our friends kids, our sisters and brothers kids, etc... you jsut have to know your child, and know what he needs to help him. And if you do not, then maybe check out some therapy for you to help you make these huge decsions. I live in the Oak Park area and have the BEST therapist! Respond back to me if you want! Good luck and hang in there!

This is a shot in the dark, but a family friend suffers from a 'cyclic vomiting syndrome'- i think thats what its called- it is tied to anxiety issues. I am sure you can find out more about it online. wish your son and family the best!

My niece was having stomach aches and had been very grumpy for quite some time before they were finally able to diagnose her with Celiac disease. Has your son been tested for that?

Have you thought of getting a nutritionist to come in and teach him about food and cooking? If this problem is surrounded by a fear of food or not liking the taste then bringing in a nutritionist that works with children may just give him the motivation to find foods that are healthy and he does like. There is probably some small trigger that you just don't see that is causing this. He could have been watching the news when they start reporting about what foods cause cancer or a sickness (like the spinach). Something we are used to can be devastating and terrifying to a child.

As for the meds I have only known people that needed to medicate their children for ADHD and sometimes the doctors are quick to medicate when what they need is family counseling so I really can't say much about the medication part except make sure it is the last hope. I can say that I would be just as scared as you are. I hope everything turns out all right for you.

I find it strange that he is actaully asking for more tests by the doctor. Has something happened recently that has taken some of his attention away from him? It might just be his way of fighting for attention being the youngest and used to most of it. Children will do anything to get attention sometimes even negative means that they are the center of attention. My son acts up when I am at my busiest always.

K., here's my friend kyria's email
____@____.com

talk to her, she's a nutrition consultant and also specializes in nutrition therapy for children (her son is ADD and has benefited greatly from a special diet/vitamin plan. funny, i just sent another mom her info too.! im scheduling for her to come and talk with our womens group/ do a seminar on nutrition/ weightloss/ and how nutrition can help balance disorders such as ADD, anxiety, etc.. feel free to keep an eye on our calendar to see when she'll be speaking next

http://women.meetup.com/242/

I don't know too much about Alexian Brothers, but maybe give it some time and see if it works. I am actually a therapist in the Kenosha area, and I wonder if maybe he would be able to talk through it with a therapist that he is able to connect with. Maybe the last one just wasn't a match.

Anxiety is difficult to deal with because kids have a hard time understanding just how much it is setting them back. They usually really want to do well and minimize the effect it has on them, when it can be truly debilitating.

Like I said, I would give Alexian Brothers some time and see what happens. Otherwise, a different therapist and/or meds. would probably be your next step. I understand your apprehension about meds., but if they could help him get over this hurdle now he may stabilize quickly and go off of them that much sooner. (Once he is feeling better.) Usually anxiety like this at this age does not last for long.

Good luck!!

J.

You said he was tested, did they test for celiac's disease? Couldn't that cause stomach and colon discomfort? Maybe they did. In that case, I would pray about the busy schedule you are keeping. We would all do it if we had the means, but it is a huge stress factor and he may be the one to feel it in that way.

I just wanted to give you a little support from a counselor's standpoint. You have your son at one of the best treatment facilities for children. They have wonderful, specialized treatments for both anxiety and eating disorders. I don't know which psychiatrist you talked to, if any. My theory is to always at least have the eval and then get recommendations. Ask about which medications they are suggesting. Take time and research and ask around about different meds. Keep a follow up appt with that dr since psychiatrists often schedule months out. After researching, let the dr know your decision. You can always try the counseling and nutritionists first. Have the medication in the back of your mind as a next step if needed. Doctors may seem to push, but they are medical professionals. They also recommend the therapy and nutrional options if asked about them...Feel free to contact me if you need other referrals, but I think Alexian is a great place to start!!

If your son was diabetic would you worry about dependency or would you give him the medicine that he needs? Just because you can't test for it doesn't mean its not real. You have tried other options and your son is still miserable it seems like its time to see if the medication can help him.