Seeking Advise About Fits in the Store

C.,

I can relate as I have a 3 yr. old myself. My son went through that for about 6 months and now he is just fine at the grocery store. I have found the following works for us... I let him choose a bag of chips (I wish I could say sack of carrots but he won't eat veggies) or something he can munch on while riding in the cart as I. I then give the empty or half eaten bag to the cashier with all my other items to pay for and he is happy because he is full. He doesn't even notice the candy anymore. We also go to the store when he wakes from his afternoon nap so this idea suffices as his afternoon snack. Plan on a later dinner. Works for me!!!! Good luck.

J.

With my two year old I find that if I get down at her level and talk to her in a calm voice she will listen to me. I ask her tell me what she wants. I always tell her I can't help or make things better if I don't understand what she is upset about. If the tantrum is about candy or something I don't want to give her, instead of saying no I reminder of something at home that she can have. I'll say "You can have your Thomas Snacks and watch Alex the Lion when we get home." Then I get her to agree with the substitute by saying OK. The key is follow through, make sure the first thing you do is give her the agreed on treat. Of course this does not always work, every child has a point when they are just to tired or frustrated to agree to any compromise. Even if she won't calm down explain that she can't have the treat and that you are all leaving the store. My other trick is distracting my daughter with a job, like asking her to put things on the counter to check out. I will hand her small items that she can easily handle and ask her to help mommy. Making her part of the shopping trip makes it more fun for her.

I remember those days and don't wanna go back! Here's what I did. First, before I left for the store, I told my girls (I have two) that if they were good, there would be a special treat when they got home. Sometimes it was cookies, or a chance to watch a favorite video or whatever. Then I reminded them that there would be candy and stuff EVERYWHERE at the store, but "BEING GOOD" meant not touching or crying for it. Then I got them to verbally agree that they wouldn't throw a fit. Then when we got to the store, we had a quick reminder discussion and recommitment before we got out of the car. Then when we got inside, any time they started again, I reminded them of the reward that awaited kids who were good. I think the most important part, though, is NOT GIVING IN. If you EVER give in, it's like the rats who know if they keep dinging the bell, they SOMETIMES get food. They will just keep at it. If you give in, even just "sometimes," they have trained YOU! Good luck!

C. -
My mom did this with me and I will use it when my children are old enough.

She made a big deal of making "candy coupons" with me out of construction paper. Then, right before we went into the store the next time, she handed them to me. She explained that whenever I didn't follow directions or disobeyed, I would have to give her a coupon. If, by the end of the shopping trip, I had at least one coupon left, I got candy. If not, too bad.

Yes, your daughter might freak out at first because she didn't get the candy. Our daughter is 18 months and she just threw a huge fit the other day because she wanted soda. I just waited it out. I got a bunch of dirty looks, but wouldn't you know, she hasn't done it again. I figure you can either go through a couple of rough fits, or give in and let the kid rule! ;)

Good luck!

R.