Seeking Advise from SAHM About Time Planning, Etc.

I have the same problem, but with only my 15 month old. I'm gonna read the replies, but I want you to know that you're not alone! (even though it seems you get lonely without adult interaction... but you can't have anyone over b/c the house is a mess... ugh.)

Go out to parks all the time, join a co-op preschool and/or a moms group. I got out of the house as much as I could. As far as being organized, I never was when my kids were little. Especially once I had three kids.

my gosh i am in the opposite situation. i dont think there is enough time in the day. and i really dont have much time to get out with the kids. we all get up and moving no later than 830 in the am. i let them watch 1 hour of tv while i get my coffee and make breakfast and help with potty time etc. then we eat and get showered/dressed for the day. that alone takes an hour or two. we might go for a walk, go to the park, or the river. then i usually run to the store to get anything i need for the night's dinner. we come home and eat lunch. then its time to go down for a nap around 2. usually the kids dont wake up until 4-5. during that time i usually clean something, get a load of laundry going and if i am lucky take a nap myself or at least sit down for some quiet time. then its afternoon snack time, maybe one show for the kids while they are waking up and I start preparing dinner. my husband comes home at all different times of the evening so usually around 5 i start chopping and getting a few things made ahead of time. then he lets me know when he is packing up to come home and i prepare dinner accordingly. then we eat, usually go for a walk, bath time, story time, then bed time.

Hi A.,

I hope that you know that many moms feel overwhelmed and unorganized at first. The trick is to NOT be too hard on yourself while you're trying to "per-fect" your routine.

I think the BEST part of your posting, is the fact that your hubby was helping you alot. This was important, because alot of husbands do not understand the emotional aspects of being a SAHM. This way your hubby has a "glimpse" of your life.

Being "organized" is intimidating, but it's really not that difficult if you have a little bit of self-discipline. Begin with your morning routine. Make one consistent routine and stick to it. I remember to get mine going, I threw in a load of laundry every morning....everything else followed after that naturally, but I was able to get my "mom momentum" going each morning with that 1 load :O)

From there, I made my life "easy" and took baby steps by cleaning a room each day, but only Mon-Fri. It didn't have to be perfectly clean, just picked up and wiped down. I wrote a small schedule for my fridge to help me remember my routine. I always vaccumed on Friday to make my weekend feel "cleaner".

Just those 2 things of self-discipline REALLY helped me. Once I began those "chores", I found that my kids didn't really need my "extra effort" of entertainment in the morning. Only in the afternoon. So, I got 5 small clear plastic tubs and put an activity in them (play doh, paint, clay, whatever....) Every weekday after lunch (or whenever) was ACTIVITY TIME!!! I Pulled out the tub for the day and they were always excited because they had to wait a whole week to play it again. That really worked for my boys when they were little.

That's about all of the "tips" I can think of that "inspired" me :O) Once you get going on a routine, A., you will FEEL more organized.

Oh yeah, it's only fair to mention. Routines will need to be adjusted quite often. As long as you have the basics down, adjustments come natural. And even though you are trying to develope a routine for your home, truthfully the BEST and most successful routine revolves around your kids.

Congratulations on your growing family :o)

~N. :o)

Golly, do I know that feeling! My advice is: find a mother's blub to join-- there's one in the Menlo Park/Palo alto area that has activities almost weekly. Talking to other adults will really help make your time enjoyable! Find a good park-- although there aren't 'lots of moms' there, there are some. Also, a good way to make time fly by is take public transportation-- buses, trains or lightrail-- anywhere. Until kids are five, they're free, so it's pretty cheap. Also, I made a schedule of which chores I would do each day so I could have that feeling of 'accomplishment' and also be free to (sort of) relax on the weekend when my husband is home to watch the kids more.
Good luck!

Contact the libraries in your area. It's likely they have "books and babies" sessions. If there are several libraries, they may rotate days so you can go to a few a week. My 17 month old loves this. Also, join a mothers' club. Within that club they should have playgroups designated by age range. If there aren't enough playdates scheduled in your playgroup, initiate more. Also, contact Children's stores, particularly consignment stores. They often host music or story-times also. If you're motivated to do so, go to the "Kids and Babies" section of Sacto. Craig's List and put out a "call" to local moms with kids of yours' ages and initiate your own playgroup. Best of luck and congratulations!

Wow! You certainly have your hands full with two toddlers and one on the way. I have two sons, almost 5 years old and a 15 month old. I take them to different parks in Marin, to the Discovery museum (may sign them up for music), book reading (different days and time) in Larkspur, Corte Madera, Book store, etc.....Ihave storage boxes from Target that I use to put away all the toys. I hope you are able to have part-time help for some relaxing time for yourself.

A.,
The only thing that was for sure was the pick up times and drop off of the school kids, and then the nap times of the other two that were still home. When we weren't playing board games we were going for walks and if the kids were napping I was reading a book or naping if I needed it also. Just make sure to have some "me" time.
W. M

Hi A.!

I worked part time until we moved to San Jose and then became a SAHM when my daughter was 18 months! I thought I was going to go crazy!***to carify**** I was new to town and had worked part-time since I was 13, so to not know anybody or where anything was in a huge town (I grew up in the country) I felt kinda trapped in my own home for a bit***** We found a few parks that we liked and we would go play at the park. We also took a lot of walks around the area just to get out of the house! I eventually found a playgroup that was awesome! As for keeping the house organized, I am still learning but for now, I do a general pick-up as needed throughout the day and keep the kitchen and bathrooms cleaned. Once a week, I pick a room to "deep-clean" and de-clutter/dust the knick-knacks, clean baseboards...whatever that room needs. I vaccume at least 2X a week, but more if needed. Now, my daughter is 6 and is able to help out more! Your 2 yr old would probably like to "help" you with stuff, hand her a duster and let her wander around and "dust"! If nothing else, it will keep her occupied for a few so you can get another task done!

Hope that helps!

L.

Hi A.,

I have two kids - 4 yr old girl and 3 year old boy (18 mos apart). Its hard but they've gotten alot easier this year. I have my two in daycare two days a week partly for my sanity and partly because I think its good for socialization to be involved with a regular group of kids. I live in Oaklan, CA d and we have memberships lots of places like the zoo, Fairyland (very old-fashioned place that Disneyland was actually modeled after), the regional parks, and a science museum. We go to those places alot. I try not to hang out at home too much while the weather is nice. I know in the winter we'll be doing that more. I think cutting up food for snacks and putting them in tupperware at night, maybe making some sandwiches is really a help so you have things ready to go all the time. Making lists. Being nice to yourself and not comparing. If organization is important to you, small doses is best. I have no problem with tv. We have Noggin and lots of good programming without commercials. My daughter can be pretty pushy sometimes so I recommend the book "Setting Limits with Your Strong Willed Child", also "Buddhism for Mothers" and "Love and Logic". If things aren't working, making it fun is always a good rule.
Take care of yourself. It sets a good example for your kids. Oh almost forgot, trading babysitting with other parents is a life saver. We trade with our neighbors across the street every other weekend so we are assured of a date at least 1ce every other week, but I know its easy to do movie night with a group of parents once the kids get a little bit older. Best of luck!

A.,
First off, congrats with your upcoming arrival of baby #3. Hats off to you. After my second son was born I was done having children. He was very hard the first 9 months. Acid reflux, husband traveling the past 3 years every week to LA it was nuts. But all is on track now. As for planning with kids. I found myself having a difficult time with 2 children. I was laughing at Nicole P's comment about how, it is good that your husband is home to see what goes on. My husband thinks being a SAHM is a cake walk. He works from home full time when he isn't on a plane so he thinks everything is magically done as the house is always spotless and dinner is on the table and kids are in bed by 7:30/8pm. I do it all by myself. I like it when he isn't home then I can pass out and let the house go. What I do is I have picked a day of the week I stay home with the kids. That is a day I do housework and get caught up. Usually Wed's as my older son is in school and baby sleeps at 9:30am for his nap. Plus I was an over scheduled child growing up and by high school I was burned out. I was in EVERYTHING. Kids also get irritated when too much is going on all the time and if they are in school, they also need that down time. I try to space out the activities. Also join a mom's group. I have acutally connected with mom's on this site. In fact, I m meeting one in a few hours at our local park. .

Don't beat yourself up on trying to be super mom. I don't have time to read a book let alone wash my face in the morning sometimes. My boys are super active and always on the go so its nice on Wed when we all just chill out and play in our backyard for the day.

Hang in there and enjoy the ride.

SAHM 40yrs old with 2 amazing funny little boys. 3.5yrs & 14months (walking before 8 months and now climbing everything)

Hi. Ok so I don't know where you live but here is what I did as far as getting the kids and myself out of the house. Go to Meetup.com and search for playgroups or Mom's groups in your area and sign up and then go to the playdates that they organize. I live in the Bakersfield area and we have the BEST group, it keeps my kids busy and I have met some wonderful friends through this group. As far as the house goes: I always try to leave the house picked (kitchen, living room, kids rooms,etc) up so that when I come home I'm not walking into a stressfull mess. I always try and do at least one load of laundry before I leave for the morning. Then when we come home for naps I will do another load. I also try and make sure that I take something out to thaw for dinner (to me the hardest part of making dinner is figuring out what to fix) I keep pretty busy but I also have 4 kids of different age spans. Some days we don't go anywhere but I try to get "out" almost every day so I don't lose my mind. LOL! Good luck!

First, I joined a gym that had child care and started going daily to the first morning classes. That meant I had to get up do breakfast and get us dressed and get to the class before it started. Next, I added in the Nursery Rhyme time for children once a week. Then, I joined a local playgroup through meetup.com (a little over a year later, I've somehow ended up as the organizer :-) ). Finally, I started adding in different types of small jobs (substituting, tutoring, etc.). Through all this I try to keep my house clean--making the beds and doing the laundry before I go to the gym. I keep very busy, but there are still days when I really miss my teaching job, and I wonder if I'm really doing everything the divine creator meant for me to do.

You'll find your way by taking it one day at a time.

For the kids to be entertained, since they are so young, think about their senses--things they can touch: water, sand, blocks, different places to see, different sounds...smells...Just some water to splash can be a lot of fun! Also listen to music, dance and sing--for them or for you. If you want grown-up music, use an ipod.
You can go to museums if you can afford it, but you can also do things at home, in the park, in the backyard, on a walk and so on. Little trips can help break up the day, but if your kids are a lot of trouble to travel with by car, then you can just walk to places nearby, for a change of scenery.
You can put a tent in the backyard or in the living room, if it is a small tent (that can be fun for young children).
If you need some adult company, try to arrange playdates with other parents, or call friends and ask them to visit.
If your kids nap, and you have time or you feel bored, you may have time to do some reading. If not, try a book on cd and you can listen while you clean house or drive on errands.

For organization, don't put to much pressure on yourself. It is hard to clean with kids.
One secret I have learned is that less STUFF means less MESS!! Keep your house simple. More decorations, toys and clothes mean more time cleaning, more mess...and less space.
Also, try to make fewer steps to your cleaning: don't put any dishes in the sink or on the counter. Put them straight into the dishwasher after they are used, and be sure to empty the clean dishwasher as soon as you can, so that you are ready for the new dishes.

When you do laundry, keep everyone's clothes separate! Wash/dry just ONE person's clothes at a time, and then you can put them away in just one closet, without having to check which clothes belong to whom, or having to make different trips to all the rooms to put them away.

Cook simple things--not a lot of ingredients, not a lot of chopping, not too many mixing bowls or pots to wash...

I like to keep a "dish brush" (scrub brush with a handle) in each bathroom so that I can brush out the sink whenever it starts to look spotted.

When you think of something you need, write it on your shopping list right away, or you may forget, and that means extra trips to the store.

Hi,

I have two boys, both who are now in school, and stay at home. Life is much easier but I still have to really keep a routine to get stuff done.

Go to flylady.net for great routine ideas and cleaning ideas plus basic things she does to keep on top of things.

One thing I do is make a daily schedule in a notebook. I list EVERYthing out--boys to school, boys home, chores, appointments, what's for dinner, etc. My biggest problem is making myself do the one little cleaning chore or so a day because I'm really good at telling myself I'll just do it tomorrow and then I end up with a whole day of cleaning instead of a tidy home all week. (And laundry. UGH the laundry!)

The suggestion for "me" time is important--I think it goes back to the Scots who said "If Momma ain't happy ain't NOBODY happy" though it wouldn't surprise me that EVERY culture in this world has that saying.

For doing stuff with the young ones, all the suggestions for parks, zoos, libraries, etc. are wonderful but don't miss the chance to utilize the First 5 center in your town. First 5 California was set up using the Tobacco Tax Initiative money to help parents raise happy, healthy children and as such there are centers throughout our area that offer classes for parents including Baby Sign (in Brentwood, Delta First 5 center) as well as for kids. They have play centers for free play and are fantastic resources for parents. Ours usually does a field trip (one parent needs to go) to a local farm in the fall to go through their exhibits and maze and pick out a pumpkin. The point of First 5 is to offer all this at low- or no-cost so it's a great resource for every parent. First5California.com should give you a listing of what's offered in your area. If you're in CoCo County go to first5cc.org.

Good luck, have fun, and with another on the way now is a great time to "get organized" so the new one slides right into the new spot. :)

M.

For house cleaning, I follow www.flylady.net Where they give you ideas on how to keep your house clean on a mom's schedule and keep it clean. I do a weekly menu planning for dinner before I go grocery shopping. Keep everything on a calendar. Because if I don't I'm likely to forget I have the appointment, etc.

For my sanity, a good book to read, and kids in bed by 8:30 for time to myself and with my husband. I also joined a book club for just me to get out of the house once in awhile.

For kids and me, I joined a moms group, for playdates and and field trips for the kids and adult conversation for me. We also go to the library once a week. My kids are older boys (6,4 and 8 weeks) daughter 12. So with the older kids usually I don't have much time anymore to be bored. With preschool going on and regular school for the other two, afterschool activites, older boys are in karate and dance and sports, daughter is into softball and dance. We also go to the park, walks, swimming, weekly ice cream dates. And honestly my kids just love it most when we sit at home and play a game together, talk about their day, or watch a movie of their choosing.

For me and my husband. We do date nights. Usually for us because we have 4 kids we get out about once a month or every other month. But we do make it a point to just have time with us, no kids,even if we can only sneak in an hour or so to watch a movie together or our favorite tv show during the week.

On weekends, we always do stuff together as a family. Like camping, boating, walks, parks, family movie night, even cleaning the house on weekends has become a family affair.

Best of Luck!

I'm hoping to find ideas from the responses you receive!! I like Larissa's idea of picking one room per week to 'deep clean;' that makes alot of sense. I also pick up throughout the day as needed so my house doesn't look like a tornado hit it when my husband gets home! I am involved with a small mom's group that a few of us started and that is really great! We go to the park, each others homes, story time at the library....just whatever we all want to do. I have a 3-1/2 year old son and 2 year old daughter so mine are close like yours (although I stopped at two)!! Life is very busy!! Another thing I do every morning, first thing, is make a list of things I want to accomplish throughout the day.....unload dishwasher, vacuum playroom, sweep kitchen, take my son to school and a list of any phone calls you need to make; it sounds crazy but it helps keep me on top of what I know needs to get done that day. I have been a SAHM since I was 7 months pregnant with my oldest and I have NEVER been bored or felt like I was going to go crazy! I love it and can't imagine sending them to daycare; I am the best daycare they can have and my husband agrees!!
You just have to see what works for you. Good luck!

Hi! I'm a big believer on routines, but with summer time- a little more difficult to do. I have older girls (age 3 & 7)but when they were a little younger these are the kinds of things we planned:
*weekly storytimes at the library or bookstores
*weekly playgroups or time at the park or place where they can be physical
*time each day for a little art or workbook time. I kind of scheduled everything in 2 hour increments. A little time for errands, a little time for physical outside play, a little time for downtime just playing with pots & pans while making dinner, a little time while kids napping to either nap, relax or get computer/bills done. You are going to have a house filled with little ones- so good luck & get all of the support you can. Congratulations on this amazing & chaotic time in your life! -D.

Get out as much as possible, especially places where you'll be around other moms and little ones...the library, parks, etc. Take your lunch with you whenever possible, it really helps break up the monotony of being at ome all the time. Check out local tot classes at your community center or YMCA (such as kindergym, swim lessons, etc.) This is a great way for you and your kids to socialize.
As far as housework goes, I know everyone is different, but I would say to break it up as much as possible. Try to accomplish one thing each day (dust on Mondays, clean the bathroom on Tuesday, etc.)
Don't forget to plan dates with your husband and occassional time just for yourself. Yes it takes effort when you've got three little ones to manage, but it is SO worth it! Good luck :)

The park!!!!!!! Find a good park and make it a habit to go right after breakfast before it gets too hot and it will get the wiggles out!! I go with a friend of mine almost every day! I take a blanket to sit on in the shade with my infant and take snacks and juice for break time when my 3 yr old gets tired then afterwards jumps up and takes off again! I always take extra cuz my friend's 2 1/2 yr old wants what my son has - no biggie. I have a "park bag" with diapers, snacks, infant toys, blanket to sit on, dump truck, two shovels and two pails (to avoid fighting if another kid wants to play). Then off to the park we walk with the bag and the stroller for 2-3 hours of fun! Plus you get to get out of the house and socialize with other moms!! Yeah! I have several "bags" for organizational purposes, a church bag, an errand bag, a park bag, etc. Each has special items besides the basic diapers and snacks. Hope this helps!! Another option is to join a mom's group that has a nursery. I go to the Harvest church every Wed 9-11am and drop my kids off for two hours and get to talk with other moms!

Hi there-
I'm a work in progress in this area too. My husband is in the car business and works 60 hour weeks. So I'm usually putting the kids to bed and making his dinner about the same time. I have an almost 4 year old and a 1 yr old. I am not by nature an organized person but love organization systems to help me! Flylady is really cool. I was doing really good with it for awhile but I fell off the wagon when I was sick(some months ago!) need to get back to it. I wish I could have them in daycare just once a week so I could get a good house cleaning in, but just not affordable right now. My son is in preschool which helps, I can run my errands with the little one. We belong to a mom's group and a gym. We go to the library every couple weeks for new books/movies. We go on walks/bike rides in the evening when it cools down. Go swim once a week. My son loves kidspark, an hourly daycare in Roseville, so I take him there for an hour or two if I need to decompress or go to the mall with just 1 munchkin. We keep an eye out for things going on in the free parents magazine. I just started reading a book called the Total Mom Makeover by Hannah Keeley, you might be interested in, it seems good so far, she's a life coach and has 4 kids, and she addresses everything. Best Wishes! K.

For me and my kids, getting out is important. I love MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers). There is usually a chapter in every town. They meet twice a month and you bring your kids. You have the option of putting them in the MOPS daycare while you meet with the other moms, or having them with you. I also joined a playgroup. I look for any activities that allow my to put my kids in childcare -- like take a yoga class at the gym and put them in childcare for and hour. They love playing with the other kids and I love the break. My church also provides childcare during mass. Most libraries have story time at least one morning a week. I think if you find activities involving other moms, you'll have more fun, plus the social interaction is good for the kids and they usually take good naps afterwards. That's all I can think of for now. I am not the one to ask about keeping organized! Oh, you can often find community recreation classes that are cheap for your kids, like tumbling, swimming, dance, and stuff like that -- also another good way to talk with other moms.

Hello- Okay first of all, cut yourself some slack. I went through the same thing when I had to be home during the last 4 months of my pregnancy due to some complications. However, once my baby came along, I had plenty to do. : )What I did decide to do while I was still pregnant and now, was to make a daily to do list like I did when I was working. I make it the night before and it has everything from walk the baby and dogs to exercising, laundry, making dinner etc. So I have a routine of walking the baby/dogs after the morning feeding and getting the 11 year old off on the bus, putting something into the crockpot, running an errand or two with the baby, laundry, household chores, searching for new recipes online/Foodnetwork.com, writing notes to people, checking emails, organizing closets/drawers, make lists for upcoming birthdays (husband, sister, my kids, grandparents etc.), watching the news for an hour, walk on the treadmill while my baby takes his morning nap, do some basic weights after the treadmill, getting things ready for the next day (coffee, bottles etc), search for healthy lunches for myself and to pack for my 11 year old, prep food for the week (cutting up veggies etc.), start to make dinner. Voila the day has flown by and I have not only had a chance for a little exercise but I've cleaned, organized, prepped for the following day and have started dinner for when hubby comes home so we can sit down to dinner. I, also, try to complete one semi-major project a day (weeding, starting a garden, wash the car, organzing photos and putting them in albums, cleaning out the tupperware drawer, tidying up my bedroom drawers, make iron on t-shrits for the kids, paint a canvas picture for my room, repaint a chair, reuphoster kitchen chairs etc.) Hope that helps!

Hi A.,
You didn't say where you live, but if you are in El Dorado County there is a great Moms club called Gold Country Moms. You can check us out at www.goldcountrymoms.org.
-S.

hi, i see you have much good advice here, but i thought i'd add in my schedule. i feel like i keep so busy and i'm not sure how i did it all when i was working full time.

--daily schedule--
we get up in the morning,
DS plays while i make coffee and breakfast
we sit down and eat
we get ready for our morning activity (groom, dress, pack the bag, lunch, and snack)
morning activity
home for nap
during nap time i will do housework, prep dinner, or take care of personal things like bills,emailing, etc.
DS wakes, have snack
we hang out around the house, he plays, i do housework, play outside, read books, etc
make dinner while he gets to watch his show
dinner
bath
bed

morning activities are the park, shopping, playdates, visiting friends, etc.
sometimes we hang around the house in the morning and then go to the park in the afternoon. you can find moms groups on meetup.com also.

i feel like the day is pretty structured cause we follow the same basic routine everyday, though the timing is different depending on the day.

good luck and have fun being at home. it really is such a blessing!

First, I think it is so wonderful that you are utilizing this resource, asking these questions and especially that you're concerned about keeping your family happy and of husband too.

One thing I can tell you for sure is that when you're home and living in the house, it will be something to continuously clean! That is a challenge so I recommend getting out of the house as much as possible- mom's groups! Hang with your friends and hook up with new moms. The park is essential for physical, tactile, and social interactions. That helps with their naps and that will probably be a big limitation after the next babe is born- working around everyone's nap schedule. In that case, have lots of friends over to see you, to hang out, do play dates, etc.
I knew an older lady who had 7 children and she didn't let her babies nap because she wanted them to be so tired that they'd go to sleep at 7 pm. Then she had time for herself and her husband. Her babies would then wake at 10 pm to get another nursing in and sleep through the night till 5 or 6 ish. Amazingly, she managed to do this by the time her babe was 6 mos. It all depends on if you're really into a routine.

Anyway, good luck and I hope you get many great pieces of advice!