Hi N.. I'm sorry here things are so hard. I just befriended a wonderful woman who is a divorce lawyer in Manhattan. Are you in NY? She told me it is important to get a lawyer from your state, I actually think that one from another state wouldn't be able to help you, with all the rules and everything. Anyway, she is a mom of 2 boys (preschooler and baby) Here is her contact information.
Karen Platt: ____@____.com firm is Mayerson Stutman Abramowitz Royer, and the phone number is ###-###-####
I hope this helps, you are doing the right thing, looking out for the best interest of your family.
Warm Regards,
S.