Hello everyone. I am a proud mother of a 4 yo boy. He is my only child and I love him so much. He has grown so fast! I have lots of clothes that are small now for him and also toys that he is no more playing with, so I decided to donate them. I heard of a little boy (1 yo) who is an orphan. I went to give him the clothes& toys and the nurse asked me if I wanted to see him. I said yes, but now I wish I hadn't. He had a great impact on me. When I entered the room he was crying and by they way he looked he must had been crying for some time. He was very well taken caren of, clean, with lots of toys around in his crib. He had evrything except love, affection... He wanted to go outside and the nurse asked me if I could go with him. I went outside with him, I showed him the birds, the dogs, the leaves....he was really happy. It was really hard to leave because he was crying after me and also would not let go of my hand:(
I realised that maybe was a mistake going there to see him. The nurse said that I could come back to see him as often I would like. I don't know if this is such a good ideea. I would like to spend time with him, to take him to the park, to bring him clothes, food etc but I am afraid that an emotional bond will appear- on both sides. I cannot adopt him, I am a single mom, already struggling. So, what is your opinion? Was I wrong to go see him? Should I go see him again? The orphanage is really close to where I live, it would be really hard to cross by and not think about this amaizing little huma being. Thank you!
I'm glad I'm not the only one who wants to call troll.
What orphanage is this that gives someone complete access to kids and allows them to take them on walks?
What place is allowing outside food to be brought in and given to the children??
I'm sorry. I call troll.
A few things about your post makes me think you are a troll.
How did you hear about this O. orphan?
A nurse just let you leave the building with him?
Is there no protocol for volunteers in that facility?
In a country where you practically need a retinal scan to get into a state/county/local government agency, I highly doubt you can just pop in on and take a 1 year old out to play.
I smell something....
I never heard of anyone being able to walk into an orphanage, donate used items and then spend time with one of the orphans....those visits require tons of pre-approved hurdles, tons of back ground checks, etc.
Where exactly is this place?
Welcome to mamapedia!
Why can't you foster him? You obviously feel drawn to him - foster him.
I personally don't know of ANY orphanage that would allow access to the children let alone take one of the children outside. So I guess you are already an approved visitor or somehow associated with the orphanage?
Also - I know FOUR single women who have adopted children.
What a RIDICULOUS story and what an odd story for use with TROLLING! I don't get the humor in it or how you could be entertained by people's responses unless you are hoping somehow others are as ignorant as you are about reality of the way the foster care system works in America and the fact we don't have "orphanages" and that your so called "orphans" aren't cared for by nurses, etc.
Are you the same troll who made up the pathetic story about the lodger who was in the Navy? The tone of the two stories sounds very similar. Either way, neither story would sell well as a paperback if that's what you're looking for. Not believable at all. Then again, maybe it would do well on the Lifetime network, none of their stuff ever would pass in real life.
I don't think "orphanages" even exist anymore!
Where is this place and what's the name of it?
Orphanages were closed decades ago and children went to foster homes. I am a social worker who worked in child welfare and except for troubled teens, children are not institutionalized here in the U.S like they are overseas in Poland, Russia etc.
And the nurse let you take him out, huh? Just like that?
You could think of seeing him like joining Big Brothers Big Sisters. You spend time with him every week in order to benefit him with positive adult attention. Poor little guy. I'm sure he will be placed with a foster family right away. That is how they do things now.
K., why isn't he in foster care and in a....hospital setting? Is he sick?
This doesn't make sense to me, kids this age belong in foster care if they've been removed or lost their parents. He should be in a home setting.
That said. If you are interested in adoption at all then perhaps you can contact the state and find out more. Some parents who adopt kiddo's that are in states custody get a stipend to help support them. If finances are your only issue perhaps that could be something they'd help you with.
Otherwise I wouldn't go. He's starving for affection/attention and needs to bond with someone soon.
If you google the effects of a child that doesn't bond and they can become grown ups with mental issues. They need that bond when they are very very young.
My first thought was of course you should go and see him, he needs you. However, I had something very similar happen to me. Emotionally, it would have been too difficult for me and my family to keep in touch with this little boy and I believe it would have been hard on him. I don't think he would understand why we weren't keeping him. I had to pull away. That is how I justified it but perhaps you are a stronger person than me and can handle it. Good luck in your decision.
A 1 yr old should be pretty adoptable.
Do you think bonding with you might interfere with bonding with any potential future adoptive parents?
If you foster him, how would you feel if he is adopted by someone else?
You have a child who needs you and if resources are tight now, another child isn't going to make that any easier.
Sounds like you made a beautiful connection.
I do not have the answer for you. I want to say to go and bring him love and joy, yet understand your dilemma.
Sounds like a tough situation. If you can't do any more to help him, it would be better for you not to form an emotional bond with him. My heart also goes out to orphaned children who do not have someone watching over them the way I look out for my son.
