What Is More Tragic?

I think I agree with Wild Woman. She is an adult and could have changed her circumstances. I always say that tragedy can be used for motivation or for excuses. I think if people would have seen her trying to help herself, they would have been more likely to offer some assistance. My thought is that if it's not important enough for you to do something, then it's not important enough for me to do something.

ETA: I read your SWH - the blind woman might be angry at her situation and only chooses interaction when she needs help. Helen Keller was blind and deaf and mute - yes - her parents paid for it. However, the orphanage she grew up in should have helped her as well. I know a blind guy - he was on Jeopardy! And a winner too - he is married and has a beautiful son!! Attitude is everything!!

A.,

There are some situations that elicit more sympathy from others.

In your first scenario, the people most likely feel bad for the children and the money they will need, especially if she didn't have life insurance.

In the second scenario, you know a lot about a woman. So why didn't you offer shelter to her? Were you not an adult at that time? You also seem to know a lot about her and her situation. Why she doesn't elicit more sympathy or the same sympathy? MAYBE because instead of helping herself she chose to beg and people got tired of helping and nothing ever changed....I don't know. I don't know what I would do in that situation if it happened EVERY DAY...It's a shame that people who proclaim to be Christians didn't offer support to someone in need.

Would I donate to a family who needs help after the loss of their mother? Most likely.

Would I help a blind person? Most likely.

I think that we (as mothers ourselves) tend to empathize with another mother saying farewell to her children and leaving them behind to grow up motherless. It's each if our greatest fear, right?
I watched acdearcfroend have that talk with each if her so s before she died at 51.
But I agree with you, the second story is more "tragic" by far on a lot of levels.
•abandoned by her parents
•no help from her government, when she had no source of income
•lack of resources for her disability
•lack of access to education
On and on...that woman's life, as you describe it is not suitable for a dog in a developed nation.

Comparing a blind orphan in an underdeveloped country to, say, a Helen Keller type in the US is just...well...terribly obtuse.
If you study Maslows Hierarchy of needs, odds are nil that a woman lacking shelter and food is going to "better herself"! Your not looking to learn to read or write if your main job is to beg for something to eat every day of your life and find a place to lay your head at the end of the day.

A deaf, blind person in the USA has resources everywhere you look: Braille on ATM machines, fine schools for the blind, deaf, access to mainstream or specialized education from K through university.

Perhaps the most tragic element in the life you've described is fellow citizens that turned their back on those who need help the most.
Selfishness abounds--worldwide. Sad--but obviously very true, as we can see.

Great question!

I agree with the others who say that it's that we identify so closely and clearly on a visceral level with another mother of young children. It's so very easy to put yourself in her shoes, to picture your children as her children, and feel compassion and want to help. But you're right, the other case is equally tragic, if not more so.

I think people do focus on the children of the woman who was dying of cancer, not so much on her. But I also think there's a fundamental difference in the way people treat the disabled (such as the woman born blind). The woman with cancer is seen by many (not all) as "normal" and "appealing" who somehow got cancer and her life has been cut short. The blind woman raised in the orphanage, in some minds, has known know other life and so it seems like less of a tragedy. People don't know how to approach someone who is "different" and alone - it makes them uncomfortable, and they also aren't sure what they can do to help. Sometimes people don't want to offend the disabled person, so they turn away. But the woman who's dying? The cancer scares people because it can happen to them (vs. being blind from birth which they almost can't relate to) and they CAN see easy ways to help the children because they can anticipate their needs. Doesn't make it right. I think the disability rights movement has place differently-abled people in the forefront so maybe people are less afraid or awkward than when you were growing up.

I think in the first story, it's the CHILDREN that the people are focusing on, even if it seems like it's the mom. In the 2nd story, it's a lone adult.

I would think that if people knew the 2nd woman's story, they would feel pity, but people make assumptions. Which is sad, yes.

I think a better question is why must one been seen as more or less tragic and the matrix is based on how many people care?

Still getting back to your why are we like this look at the different circumstances. Born blind, foster care because I don't think we have orphanages exactly but the same thing none the less. Now an adult. Why didn't she learn to read or write, yeah it is harder for her but lots of blind kids learn at a very young age. Never married, no friends, no kids, why? These are actually things somewhat under her control. Should people actually be friends with her just because she is blind?

There are plenty of people that have no friends, no family, no children and no one calls that tragic so why is it tragic just because she is a blind orphan. She was born blind but her choices made her who she is today, someone who would rather beg than try to make something of herself and yeah, people, a lot of people, don't feel bad for people who have a bad life when they do nothing to improve their lives themselves.

Now mom did not chose to have cancer. She didn't do anything to cause it. I suppose neither did blind woman but there is a huge difference. Cancer woman is probably fighting with everything she has to live as long as she can. Blind woman is begging and crying oh poor me. Of course more people want to help the one who is doing everything in her power to win this.

Do you not live in the US? Didn't occur to me when answering this that you lived anywhere else than your location. Around her these is government support, public education, she would have to chose to live as she does. If you live somewhere else ignore that bit though some is still true, we do feel more compassion for those that are not given choice and even then try to overcome.

I like this kind of thought and question. I often wonder such myself. Thanks for this. I had a good time reading what the others had to say.